Previously:
"He will be back in a minute, I suspect Laurel is bashing his ear about Sara leaving. He didn't want you to wake up to that." Digg explained pointing his thumb towards the door. She followed his hand to the open door and then looked back him, resting her head back on the pillow.
She didn't say anything and just took a moment to look at Digg. He smiled and was about to say something when she spoke again.
"Sorry …what happened to Sara?" she asked confused
"She felt it was time to leave… is the official story. She and Oliver had a huge fight is what really happened. It was only a matter of time, he was dating his post island female equivalent." He said leaning in quietly.
They were in the hospital waiting room. Digg was with Lance going over Felicity's protection detail as she was still very much a wanted woman.
Oliver was seated forward on his chair, elbows on knees and his face buried in his hands. Sara sat across from him wanting very much to reach over and comfort him but she hesitated, instead clasping her hands together tightly.
"Hey" she spoke gently; it tore her up to see him so wrecked.
He rubbed his face and looked up at her.
"Are you ok?" she asked
"Yeah, just tired" he lied.
"You are worried about her"
He sighed deeply "This is my fault Sara. Everyone in my atmosphere gets hurt, even when I don't …." His voice trailed away as he bowed his head weaving his hands together behind his neck. Even when he kept his distance, people he loved got hurt.
"This was Slade, not you." Said Sara
"This was Slade because of me" he said, ever so quick to condemn himself.
Sara crossed her arms and muttered "Why didn't he just die on that damn Island?"
Oliver raised his head. Her eyes reminded him of the killer in the mirror that stared back at him when he first made it back to land of the living.
"I thought he did …but that's why we are here now. All the lives lost on that Island. Felicity is in that hospital bed because of the choices we made back then." His voice grew louder "they were bad choices"
"Ollie you can't think like that, we do what needs to be done."
"You mean we did what had to be done… to survive … to get off that Island"
"That's what I said."
"No, I don't think you hear yourself. You behave like we are still there; don't you see that?"
"What is this about Oliver?"
"It's about your wiliness to take a life, it should be a last resort not your go to plan for every situation, not anymore..." He practically growled at her.
Sara had always been wild but, she had also been sweet and caring. Now that side of her would only make rare appearances. This Sara was guarded and focused. Sometimes The Canary would say things that would have sent a shiver down Sara's spine.
"I don't just kill for the hell of it, only those who deserve to die. Like Slade, Oliver he needs to die, you can't be under the delusion that his heart will thaw once he is cured?" She said. She didn't care for Felicity's plan because it only prolonged the inevitable. Slade would eventually come back to finish his mission. They should have killed him while they had the chance, not just put him and his plan on ice.
"How about that guy you threw off the clock tower or the security guard two weeks ago? Their deaths were also necessary? " he spoke through gritted teeth.
"I did not choose this…to become a killer, but it is who I am, who I need to be." she said glaring at him behind guilt peppered eyes.
"I understand better than anyone, we are forever changed but… we are free from that hell Sara, we can choose to be better people." He fought to get through to her; he could see her losing herself completely like Helena did to The Huntress.
"It's live or die" She shook her head vehemently "I want him dead. If he had died your mother would still be alive and Felicity wouldn't be in that hospital bed. I am not proud of who I have become but I stand by my choices. " she clenched her fists wanting very much to punch something. How could he stand there and judge her when he knew! He knew that they needed to be able to kill or they would be killed.
"I am sick of having this same argument with you over and over again. We are not on that island; we don't just kill people Sara." He roared his eyes blazed with anger, with hurt, and then finally after a few moments, they closed with resignation.
Sara narrowed her eyes; she wondered if he was picking a fight with her because he couldn't bring himself to end things. He was cooler with her whenever she took a life or made a move that he didn't agree with. They would argue about it, that is what they did, but they always set their differences aside and pulled together when they needed each other.
This time around it felt different. He was different, somewhere along the way they went in different directions.
The League moulded not only her body but her mind. She was a weapon with the sole purpose to kill monsters, the part of her that was still pre-island Sara used those skills to protect the weak and fight for those who could not fight for themselves. Oliver was different, his path left hers when he became the Arrow and more specifically, she made the safe assumption that it was, when he met Diggle and Felicity. He became a Hero and she became an Assassin.
"Now that Slade is no longer a threat and Felicity has taken care of Isabel, I think it's time for me to move on." She said quietly. This needed to end and Oliver didn't have it in him to do the necessary.
"Sara.." he raised his eyes surprised.
"Oliver, I wouldn't have chosen this life for myself or for anyone but I am who I am. I believe in the justice of taking a life of the underserving, of people who harm others or pose a threat to people I love. I don't think that will ever change." She spoke firmly raising her chin up, her stance firm.
"Sara, I changed, if I could you can. Let us help you."
"It's who I am" she repeated once again "…besides you know they say that a sign of being in a bad relationship when your boyfriend keeps wanting to change you…" she smirked.
"… to help you" he whispered.
"Oliver, I am no good for you"
"…don't do this, I didn't mean to push you…" he ran his fingers through his hair. He could see he was going to lose her again.
" You didn't, but it's been a long time coming. We don't make sense anymore."
"Yes we do" How could they not he thought, no one else knows what he went through on that Island.
"You know we don't. You deserve better, someone who will harness the light still inside you not slowly dim it to complete darkness." She said quietly, she was never going to be what he really needed. Two wrongs don't make a right and they were both broken.
"Oliver "
She saw Digg in the doorway and by the way he was looking down she knew he had been standing there long enough to know this was goodbye.
"Digg" she said squeezing his arm.
"Take care Sara" he offered her a soft smile.
Oliver hung his head low. He did not chase her; he did not beg her to stay. He didn't always know his own heart but he knew that Sara was right. He knew because he didn't have the heart to beg her to stay.
What he didn't want to admit to Sara was that as much as he would always care for her, the woman who had his heart was currently in ICU fighting for her life.
