The first half of this chapter is from Sky's POV, not mine. Because reasons.
I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds, but I do own my OCs. Enjoy! And excuse the references to, like, everything.
***This chapter is brought to you by Miles Edgeworth ~ Objection! 2009 from Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth***
Chapter 16
I roll my eyes as my authoress shoves the cards with dares on them to me, flinches, and then returns to playing her game.
Apparently she accidentally saved a new game over her completed file in Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and needs to re-beat it.
I sneak a peek at her before I leave the room to go to the one where the others are. She and her muses (well, not Lucy, Meri, or Muse-Jack) are freakishly absorbed into the game. So I snag the Everything Shield (never know if I might need that, since I'm taking on the role everyone hates), and leave.
XXX
"So… because Shimmering-Sky is an idiot, you're taking over for this chapter?" Jack asks.
"Yeah, that's about it," I reply. I'd just told them about what happened.
"Then they won't be as bad? The dares, I mean," Bruno says.
"Eh…" I rub the back of my head sheepishly. "No, not really." I looked at them all ahead of time. Two of them work perfectly back-to-back… and they happen to be the first two.
The only thing is that Akron needs to be here for it, and I'm not sure I want him here without Shimmering-Sky to control (or attempt to control) him.
Oh well. It's the first dare. I can't exactly change that. "Meri, Muse-Jack? Mind getting Lucy and Akron back from their… 'vacation'?" I ask.
"Sure!" they chime, disappearing and reappearing a moment later with the two evil(er) muses. They both look livid, and Akron immediately announces, "I'm going to go kill someone."
"Wait, there's a dare that involves you. And paint," I say.
The demon stops, right as he's about to walk out the door. He turns around, and the creepiest grin imaginable appears on his face. "You… you mean… that dare? I can finally do it?"
I nod. "I have it right here."
Request by: Akro - I mean Jay. Not Akron at all. (Doccy Larsson Seraphim)
Receivers: Everyone who has a Duel Runner
Dare: Akron gets two hours to paint and decorate your runners. Though they can also choose to keep their runner un-painted, but they must spend at least three hours in the Dark Nebula, Akron's playground, while he's around. Jack cannot take the alternate offer, though.
"So basically, this affects Yusei, Jack, Crow, Akiza, Bruno, and Primo… well… Kalin do you have a Duel Runner?" I ask. I know he did when he was a Dark Signer, but I'm not sure about afterwards…
"Nope," he replies.
Okay. Well, it looks like Crow, Primo, and Jack are the angriest about this. The other three are a little upset, but not… shouting profanity at me and Akron.
"No way I'm letting you touch my Blackbird!" Crow shouts.
"So… then you would have to hang out in the Dark Nebula…" I say. "To put that in perspective, it's the Closet of Doom times… like, infinity."
XXX
No one chooses the alternate offer. (This upsets Meri and Lucy, who both wanted to see how people reacted to the Dark Nebula.)
So, two hours later, their Duel Runners are all painted in weird colors… except for Akiza's. (BIAS!) Hers looks normalish, as though Akron only made the paint darker.
Yusei's Duel Runner looks like Akron just dumped several buckets of brown paint over it. The original paint can still be seen in some places, but mostly, what isn't covered in brown is black. Like some bizarre camouflage except not green.
Bruno's has turned a golden-yellow, with random colors of the rainbow just splattered on for extra effect.
And then there are the other three…
Primo's is bright pink, with alternating neon yellow stripes. It's hilarious.
Crow's… is orange. Like, a neon orange. With the brightest possible green polkadots scattered all over it.
And Jack's? It looks like a unicorn farted on it. A… very aggressive unicorn. Like Butch, the one that lives in the Closet of Doom. …On second thought, it looks more elegant than that. Some sort of… abstract art? I can't place it.
I can't help but laugh at them, especially Jack's. Pretty much everyone else who isn't a recipient of the dare… joins in laughing with me.
Jack growls, "Turn it back. Now."
"No can do, Atlas!" Akron has returned to the room, and is now smirking at the blonde. "He might've forgotten to add it, but the paint job lasts at least until the next chapter!"
If Jack wasn't angry before, then he's practically exploding with rage right now. His face has turned red, and I'm not sure we need to hear what he's about to say.
I clamp a hand over Jack's mouth (too bad my author didn't grant me powers other than teleporting people, or else I would have just stuck him in a silence bubble like she does to me all the time), and tell him to chill out, because it's not like it's permanent.
XXX
Once I think everyone has calmed down (as in, Jack and Crow don't look or act like they want to murder everyone and Primo isn't… worse than usual) I pull out the next card.
Which will probably make everything worse.
Request by: mcdinh
Receivers: Yusei, Jack, and Crow
Dare: Ride your Duel Runners through an obstacle course that consists of: a loop-de-loop, a ring of fire, avoiding falling rocks, jumping over a tank of sharks, and avoiding a giant Groudon
Honestly, now I'm just trying to avoid fighting, because I don't even give them time to react. I just snap my fingers and send them to… the obstacle course. With their oddly-painted Duel Runners.
XXX
To say that what happened next was hilarious would be the understatement of the century. It is beyond hilarious. It's… it's… I don't know how to describe it.
First Crow and Jack turned it into a race. Yusei just kind of went along with the idea… and started winning with ease. The loop wasn't too hard for any of them, but considering the fact that we're from an anime that constantly defies physics, I suppose that would be easy. Even the ring of fire goes by relatively safe. I mean, I think one of the wings on Crow's runner got torched, but other than that, it's fine.
No, it's the rest of the obstacles that are beyond hilarious.
The falling rocks are the next obstacle. Jack, being as competitive as he is (and not wanting to lose to Yusei in EVERYTHING), tries to force Yusei to get hit by one of the larger rocks (all three of them were being hit by pebbles, but nothing too major). But Yusei, being the protagonist—I mean lucky guy he is—doesn't get hit by the rock.
This rock is large. Very large. Bigger than the Wheel of Fortune size. How it stopped in mid-air, redirected its course, and landed in Jack's path, is beyond me. And unfortunately for the ex-King, he doesn't have enough time to swerve out of the way.
Why do I find this hilarious? Because upon impact with the boulder, it turns into a giant… stone… dolphin… gargoyle. I'm not sure why, but I bet it has something to do with whatever Shimmering-Sky and her muses were watching on YouTube recently. Anyways, the dolphin gargoyle gets very angry because Jack's Duel Runner scratched its pedestal. So Jack has to, well, run away from it instead of finish the obstacle course.
Then there's the shark tank. Yusei seems to notice in time that it was made waaaaaaaay to long to jump over, so, he pulls off this ridiculous stunt that involves driving along the edge of the tank. Basically what I'd expect from my brother, the protago—dang it I need to stop that. Why did Shim have to make me watch Bonds Beyond Time Abridged with her…?
Crow… is not so lucky. Yes, his Duel Runner can fly—er, jump farther than a normal one—but remember, one of the wings was burned by the ring of fire. He almost makes it. Of course in something like this, almost doesn't cut it.
Yusei, being the good friend he is, goes back and fishes Crow out of the tank. Only Crow is injured; his leg is bleeding. Other than that, their clothes are torn some and they're soaked. And Crow's Runner is still in the tank.
That won't work. I snap my fingers, and the Blackbird is no longer in the tank. Rather, it's on its side, next to Crow. Mostly dry and with only one or two shark bites (since it's not possible to drive a Duel Runner that has been submerged in water and attacked by Sharpedoes).
Meanwhile, Jack managed to escape from the dolphin gargoyle and catch up to Crow and Yusei.
Just in time for the final obstacle. The Groudon.
…
Earthquakes, more falling rocks, and more defying the laws of physics. But really, nothing… funny happened. Talk about a disappointing climax.
…Well, Jack did get really angry that he lost to Yusei. But the fact that he beat Crow was enough to make him, uh… pleased-ish?
Too bad the next dare targets him specifically.
"Good job you guys…" I say.
"Hmph." Jack grunts, "You're getting as bad as Shimmering-Sky."
I glare at him. "I am not! It's not my fault what dares these are! I'm not even the one who put these in order!"
"Hey, speaking of… where is my author?" Lucy asks.
"Um… She's in the other room—"
A noise somewhere between a chainsaw and a dying scream cuts me off. The door swings—no, it explodes open—and in storms Shimmering-Sky and the rest of her muses… except Joseph. My authoress' green eyes are filled with fury. "RIGHT BEFORE! IT DIED RIGHT BEFORE THAT ONE PART! GYAH!"
"Whatcha talking about?" Lucy asks. "What died? What part?"
"My 3DS!" she replies. "And it's right before the music box version of Turnabout Sisters plays after Maya 'dies' and Nick's all upset! MY FAVORITE PART OF NICK'S SIDE… PUT ON HOLD! MEH!"
For a moment, the white-haired, red-eyed girl stands there, trying to comprehend that statement. "Music… box… Maya… death…" Her face contorts in fury. "Did… DID YOU GET PROFESSOR LAYTON VS. ACE ATTORNEY WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND JUST SPOIL IT FOR ME?!"
My authoress sweatdrops. "Um… yeah… I think I did. Oops."
"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NO PLAYING LAYTON GAMES WITHOUT ME RULE?!"
"I'm sorry! I was… I was just in Wal-Mart the day it came out and I saw it on the shelf and I fangirled so hard so I got it and…" She pulls out the Everything Shield (when did she get that back from me?) and stops talking. She sighs. "Yeah. Sorry, that's kinda how it happened."
"I'm going to kill you now," Lucy says. To say her voice was layered with venom doesn't even begin to cover it.
"HOLD IT!" I shout. "You can't kill her if she's behind the Everything Shield!"
Something flickers across Lucy's face other than anger—excitement?—and she replies, "OBJECTION! She can't remain behind it forever!"
"OBJECTION! I can and will!" Shim interjects.
"OBJECTION! You have no proof!"
"OBJECTION! Neither do you!"
Shade has some sort of a gavel in his hand (why… I have no idea) and slams it several times onto a desk. "Order! Order! Both of you, stop it!"
"But Shade! She broke the pact!"
"That doesn't give you any more right to murder her than the rest of us," he replies with a glare.
"Hey… you know I'm RIGHT HERE, right?" Shim mumbles. Then she laughs. "Heh. Right. Wright. Since we just had a stupid Objection battle."
"Shut up," Lucy says, glaring at her.
She raises her hands like she's a criminal and is surrendering to the cops. "Is there… anything I can do to make you happy?"
"Weeeeeell… Now that you mention it…"
Uh-oh. This isn't going to be good.
XXX
*Shimmering-Sky's POV*
I stare at my muse, waiting for her response. I'm pretty sure I know what it is, too.
"I have two requests. One, let me have a pet mantis shrimp," she replies.
I sigh, "No. Next request."
She mumbles something under her breath that sounds an awful lot like the d-word… Strange, my muses don't… Hmm… Anyways, she says, "Fine. My second request… let me write the 5Ds/Hunger Games crossover I came up with a while ago!"
The reaction of pretty much everyone else in the room is, "WHAT?!"
Mine, on the other hand, is to nod. "Actually, I re-read Ace Tribute a few days ago, so the inspiration came back. I was actually going to let you start, if you wanted to."
The biggest grin I have ever seen on her face appears, and she shouts, "YES!"
"Oh, and you know it has a sequel AND a spin-off, right?" I add.
A look of shock and joy appears on her face. "Really…?"
"Yeah. Neither of them are done, but the Apollo Justice one—the sequel—gets updates every other day."
"EEEEEEEEE! GIMME THE COMPUTER! I'M READING! AND THEN WRITING THE CROSSOVER!"
XXX
After managing to calm down my muse, and explaining to everyone else that the crossover is a long way off, I get back to the dares. Looks like there are two left for this chapter. Heh, alternating ones, too. Poor Jack. And then, poor muses.
Request by: Mizashi Haruka
Receiver: Jack
Dare: Stay in a closed room [not the Closet of Doom] with Meri and Lucy for one hour. Meri and Lucy are given a set of weapons: bombs, knives, and other deadly things [like scissors]. You have to stay there and not defend yourself.
Edit: There are laser cannons fixed to the ceiling of the room.
XXX
To detail what happened afterwards would require me to bump this story's rating to an M. Let's just say it involves Jack dying. A LOT. As in, at least a hundred times. Different ways each time, too. I'm glad my magic hasn't stopped working, or this would be… bad. (Why does this remind me of that new show Forever except minus the nudity and the water…?)
Also, lots and lots of swearing in ways I didn't know existed.
But, for all the fun they're having, my muses only had an hour. And hours don't last forever. They reluctantly let him go.
"Yes Jack, I know you hate my guts. Just wait. The next dare lets you get revenge… big time," I say.
He raises an eyebrow. "And that means…?"
Request by: Ulrich362
Receivers: All Muses (except Piano and Rudolph)
Dare: Jack gets Kitty, the Closet of Doom, and one hour to torment you guys. Scissors are optional.
"Wh-WHAT? How could Ulrich362 do that to us?!" Lucy shouts.
"It's only fair that Jack has the chance to get revenge," I say. "I mean, you DID just murder him repeatedly a few moments ago."
She pouts. "But that's because we're the muses! We're the ones in control! The characters aren't allowed to do anything to us!"
"Do you have evidence for that?" I ask. When she doesn't reply, I slam my hand down on the desk. "I thought not!"
…Okay, why did the objection theme from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney start playing? I thought I had it set to play Edgeworth's. Besides, what I just said sounded WAY more like Edgeworth than Apollo. I sigh. It seems this chapter is just chock-full of Ace Attorney references…
"Hey! Where's Joseph?!" Meri shouts. "If he's not here, then you can't do the dare!"
A faint snoring fills the room, and I point to the ceiling. There, hanging up by ropes, is a sleeping Joseph. "Had to punish him for tying Crystal and Dia to the ceiling and then torching mcdinh's place. Since I won't set him on fire, this is the best I could do," I explain.
"So THAT'S where the snoring was coming from…" Lester mumbles.
"Joseph! Get up!" I shout.
He opens his eyes. "I have been up. I've only been pretending to snore."
…Okay, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends reference. "Then, you know why I need you."
"Yeah," he says, grinning.
Mhmm. Because Joseph WOULD grin at the fact that he's about to face the wrath of a very angry Jack Atlas.
XXX
Dang. Jack's actually a lot more creative with his revenge than what Meri and Lucy did to him. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that those two were only allowed to use mundane weapons, whereas he has a freaking Giratina. That automatically equals creative destruction, be it blasting them through dimensions or summoning whatever the heck kind of stuff he's getting from other worlds to use. (Is that… Gilgamesh…?)
Good thing he didn't use anything fire-related, though. That would've made my muses stronger. Why are all of them except Rudolph and Piano fire-obsessed, again…?
Meh. I don't know.
And I don't really care, either.
It always makes for fun conversations that make no sense out of context. Like debating between tearing someone's throat out or stabbing him to death. Lucy, why did that have to be the second death scene you came up with for that crossover…?
Oh well.
To be continued…
Yeah, I'm plotting a 5Ds/Hunger Games crossover. More on that when I get closer to publishing it, which won't be for a while (since I already have Lost Future to work on in addition to this, Crimson Feathers, Midnight Sun (if I ever get rid of that freaking writer's block) and Sacrifice).
I hope this chapter pleased you all! Sorry again for all of the references, but they had to be done. Especially the dolphin gargoyle. Phoenix Wright: Ace Idiot is one of the best parodies on YouTube…
Please, leave a review telling me what you thought!
