"Hello, everyone! I know I haven't uploaded in a while but that's good, right? Nothing too crazy has been going on surprisingly. Of course I say that and here I am!" Laura laughed a bit self-consciously, throwing one arm wide. She was in her usual recording position, sitting in her chair in front of her webcam. She was holding a rather large icepack to the side of her head, Carmilla sitting on the edge of her bed behind her, looking on in part amusement and part concern. "So, we're here to talk about the winter well I guess I should say spring formal that our lovely floor don, Perry, finally put together. Perry and LaFontaine are alright by the way. They're nursing their own wounds from the night but more of that later." She adjusted her icepack. "It started out great, nice decorations, delicious food, which is unsurprising given Perry's stellar cooking skills, and everyone looked beautiful."
"I think you mean atrocious, buttercup."
"Oh, shut up you'll get to talk in a minute." The vampire rolled her eyes but allowed her roommate to continue. "I was a little worried about the whole 'ballroom' theme at first but it turned out pretty well. Carmilla taught everyone how to waltz once she finally dragged herself off of the wall."
"I wasn't teaching anyone. We were waltzing." Another glare.
"Then the Zetas showed up with drinks and it wasn't that bad. Even the Summer Society sisters were alright with it. I was expecting an outright brawl with the usual herring, tridents, and long staves but when Kirsch and Danny started dancing, everything went smoothly. At least, for a little bit. This is actually where we get to the point of this video. Apparently, the Zetas had teamed up with the Alchemy Club for a little revenge for some dumb prank the Summer Society pulled last week and well, we all know that when the Alchemy Club contributes party items, weird stuff happens and there was something in the drinks. And if you're watching this video, you probably were luckily safe at home or in your dorm or you're like me and you have no idea what happened last night. So, Carmilla's here to recap all of us in her first official guest appearance!" Carmilla dragged up Laura's stool and straddled it.
"You've only been filming me for nearly a year."
"Shhhh! Just start the story!" Laura relaxed in her chair and lowered her icepack, but winced after a moment and immediately returned the pack to her head. The display softened Carmilla's gaze and the vampire reached over to tangle her fingers with Laura's free hand.
"So, while you idiots-"
"Carm!"
"So while you wonderful," the word dripped with sarcasm, "viewers took the first few sips of your strangely glowing drinks, the miscreants from the Alchemy Club swarmed the room and began devouring the snacks Perry had made me help her make. Do you know how hard it is to convince self-igniting sentient coal to light? Those freaks had it coming. While I chased them off, the rest of you kept drinking, oblivious to everything going on around you. When I returned to Laura here, I found her and the rest of our friends determined to play some sort of silly game that involved the floor being lava. Laura and the Ginger Giant and climbed up on to one of the tables and were attempting to jump on to another table. Of course, the she-hulk made it while Laura smacked her head on the edge of the table. So, Laura's bleeding and laughing and begging for another of those blasted drinks and then there's a quake. Not one of those residual tremors from months ago, no. An explosion. And since I'm the only one around with any sort of sense, I take a page out of Detective Dork's book and investigate."
Laura is leaning forward in her seat, icepack forgotten. Carmilla is just glad that she has not decided to bust out the sock puppets.
"The Zeta fools had somehow managed to blow up part of the Summer Society house in their attempts to cover it with toilet paper. They were babbling something about the water heater in the basement."
"Wait. What?"
"I had the same reaction, cupcake. After beating, I mean gently extracting information from one of the Alchemy creeps crawling around and their bro-scort, I was told that all of this utter nonsense was carried out to get back at the Summer Society. The drinks were meant to be a distraction so the Amazons would not brutally murder the bros while they carried out their prank."
"But why the Alchemy Club?"
"They were bored and needed access to the Summer Society house for some weird water testing experiment or something I don't know. Anyway, once I scared the idiots away and rescued some bro from the rapidly flooding basement, I ran around the ballroom keeping the rest of you fools from dying in your drunken state."
"Well, uh, there you have it folks. That is why it is currently unsafe to leave your dorm. The Zetas and Summer sisters have turned campus into a warzone over a couple of pranks. Hopefully it'll all die down soon."
"Half of the sisters have been delegated to construction duty. It's kind of impressive that the battle has been going on this long." Carmilla's expression had turned thoughtful but she quickly wiped the look off of her face, remembering that she was on camera and that Danny would probably see.
"Thanks for the recap, Carm. Stay safe everyone!" Laura shut off the camera and tapped at her keyboard, editing the video a bit. While she worked, Carmilla climbed on to the chair behind her, picking Laura up and settling her in her lap. With one arm around her waist, Carmilla kept the icepack that Laura refused to keep up with against her head, which was already developing a nasty bump. Used to the maneuver, Laura only squeaked at her sudden change in position, managing not to mess up her editing. Once she finished, she smiled as she watched part of the video. "You know, for someone who supposedly hates all of this so much, you're pretty good."
"Because talking to an inanimate object is so hard." Laura elbowed her girlfriend before leaning back to rest her head on her chest.
"I meant the investigating."
"You and the Ginger Squad were down. Someone had to do something. And I'd hardly call it investigating. I went outside."
"You interrogated people."
"I glared at the Alchemy Club kid and he spilled all his secrets."
"Admit it, you enjoyed it. I could tell when you told the story."
"Oh, yes. I love not only rescuing my drunk girlfriend from her own stupidity but everyone else too."
"I'd hardly call it rescuing. I still hit my head."
"I told you I was done with this heroic vampire crap."
"And yet you kept the campus safe."
"Buttercup, there is an actual war going on outside right now, in case you forgot. How hard did you hit your head?" Laura batted away Carmilla's probing fingers.
"Just let me admire you for a bit, alright?"
"Oh, please do that for as long as you'd like."
"You're insufferable." Carmilla shrugged, playing with Laura's hair. The smaller girl yawned, stretching in the vampire's arms. "I think it's time for bed."
"Oh, no. You're not going to sleep. You could have a concussion."
"I do not have a concussion."
"How would you know?" Carmilla smirked in victory as Laura groaned, taking the girl's phone to summon LaFontaine. The biology major appeared quickly, only a bit banged up herself.
"Oh, no! We forgot to include them in our segment."
"No, big deal, Hollis. Perry's asleep anyway." LaFontaine asked Laura a few questions, poking and prodding at her head before declaring that she probably did not have a concussion. It was not the most comforting assessment ever given, but it calmed Carmilla enough to allow her girlfriend to sleep.
Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. The vampire jolted awake, scowling over Laura's head at the computer. When the irritating noise continued, Carmilla groaned and slid off the bed, careful to not disturb her roommate from her sleep, settling the smaller girl on to her yellow pillow gently and with a kiss on the forehead. Carmilla had planned to shut the damn thing off but the glowing comments beneath their video caught her eye. She smirked, enjoying the incessant notifications for a moment before turning the volume off.
1,000 hits
Silasisscary 2 minutes ago: Great job, Carmilla! You should help with the recaps more often!
ZetaBro27 5 minutes ago: Thanks for saving my bacon, scary hottie!
EveryoneHatesTheatreStudents 17 minutes ago: Thanks for watching out for all of us, Carmilla! You're the best!
Hollstein5ever 1 hour ago: So have you guys done the do yet? There was sooooo much sexual tension in that vid.
JustCurious 1 hour ago: So, Carmilla, can vampires not get drunk?
BioFreak1 2 hours ago: Hey, Laura, you should do a Q&A with Carmilla and let all your viewers send in questions about her being a vampire and stuff.
ZetaBro333 3 hours ago: Can vampires breathe underwater?
AlchemyIsCool 3 hours ago: Gr8t job vampire. Not all of us freaks were for the prank. Thx for scaring them.
Crushesonvampires 4 hours ago: Carmilla should do her own videos!
SecretSummerPsycho 5 hours ago: I'm so glad Carmilla did this video. I was really upset that we didn't get to hear about her grabbing the sword when everyone had to flee campus.
Carmilla scrolled for a few more minutes before settling back into bed, Laura immediately snuggling up to her. Her eyes landed on the computer before she fell asleep, the hits rocketing up and more comments appearing. Maybe Laura was on to something. Investigating and making videos did not seem all that bad after all.
