Hours after his session with Kurosaki, Uryuu is still reeling.
He had seen a 'switch' right before his eyes. Reading about these events is one thing but actually seeing them happen is another. Kurosaki's 'alter' was all of the things that he normally tried to keep tucked away from polite society. Crude, impulsive, angry, erotic. His mannerisms had changed so drastically. Speech pattern, diction, vocal cadence. The way Kurosaki had held himself and moved his limbs was even affected. Uryuu had been so intrigued, so excited that he had canceled two other appointments to take the time for adjustment and furiously jot down notes.
The fact that reversion occurred only as Kurosaki began propositioning Uryuu in earnest says something about his state of mind. In addition to the proposition itself, of course. Uryuu can't be sure whether it was an unfounded whim or if the impulse may have been based on existing feelings of attraction. Not that there is anything to be done about it if it turns out to be the latter. And the way Kurosaki had shuddered back to his primary personality and apologized before running out spoke volumes, too. Even though Uryuu could see Kurosaki was confused—he probably didn't remember the conversation but he was immensely upset by it. He hadn't responded when Uryuu had tried to stop him.
Although he had suspected, Uryuu wasn't sure that the symptoms indicated Dissociative Identity Disorder until today. Black-outs, mood swings, depression, time loss, and odd compulsions have been plaguing Kurosaki for years. Haven't any other doctors been able to put the pieces together before? Kurosaki had mentioned that he rarely stayed with someone longer than a few sessions, however, so it's possible he's gone undiagnosed this long. The problem is that Uryuu hasn't had much training for things like multiple personalities because it's such a rare condition. A colleague of his specializes in it, though. An old mentor from when Uryuu was in medical school, Ukitake Juushiro, will have excellent advice on how to proceed. He resolves to contact the man immediately.
In the meantime, Uryuu cringes at his phone. A text from Grimmjaw—third one this week—makes another demand for a meeting. They had gone out for almost a year before Uryuu decided crass and selfish isn't what he wanted in a partner. He had broken it off with the full force of his psychiatric repertoire in the hopes of preventing negative feelings. To no avail. Grimmjaw had been furious. As a result, he still contacts Uryuu every few weeks. He thinks it's ninety percent due to the fact that Grimmjaw was dumped, rather than that he still wants Uryuu. Which is why he ignores the messages.
"I'm heading out for the day," Ise softly announces from the door, beyond used to Uryuu's habitual overworking.
"Ah, just a moment!"
"What is it?" she sighs.
"Could you make one last phone call for me before you go? I need to arrange a meeting with Ukitake-sensei for tomorrow morning."
"Ukitake-sensei…isn't he the DID specialist?"
"Yes."
"Hm. Okay, I'll make the appointment."
"Thank you, Ise-san," Uryuu calls to her retreating form.
He would place the call himself if he had any idea how she organizes his contacts list. As it is, he can barely find the right patient files when she isn't here. Ise went on vacation once and Uryuu's practice nearly imploded. Still, he doesn't feel too guilty; he pays her too well to bother about small things and they both know it.
Truthfully, Uryuu is not a greedy man. What he earns is much more than he needs so most of it goes towards things like financial aid for his clients, local charities, and bonuses for Ise when he's been particularly insufferable. Orihime would be on the list if he had his way, but the woman's pride won't allow it. Instead, he donates to a children's charity in her name from time to time. He keeps just enough to put a little in savings and pay his monthly bills.
This generosity is mostly due to his own compassion, but it is also motivated by an inveterate aspiration to share as few qualities with his father as possible. Ishida Ryuuken is one of the richest members of any hospital in the country. What does he do with it? Absolutely nothing. It accumulates in his ever-burgeoning bank accounts like a self-granted lifetime achievement award. Meanwhile, many of his employees receive minimum wage, resenting the stoic chief of staff who occasionally 'forgets' to dispense holiday bonuses.
Uryuu thinks of his deceased mother, first time in a long time, and sends a silent prayer that her eyes are watching him now instead of her unconscionable husband.
"Ishida-kun, so good to see you, as usual."
"Hey there, Uryuu."
Ukitake Juushiro and Kyouraku Shunsui are comfortably seated at a wide coffee table taking tea when Uryuu walks in. He greets them with a shallow bow before taking the proffered seat across from them. Although Ukitake—as a specialist in Dissociative Identity Disorder—is his primary interest, Kyouraku's concentration in anger management research could be very helpful with Kurosaki's case as well. Luckily, the two are rarely found apart for some reason so he can pick both of their brains at once.
Ukitake's office is furnished in a very traditional Japanese style. Low furniture, shoji screens, wood accents, natural lighting, and tatami mats. The simplicity of the large room should make it feel barren or empty but it manages a spacious, airy aura instead. Green tea and sakura mochi scent the air and Uryuu is nostalgic for days spent with his grandfather as a child.
"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Ukitake-sensei."
"Of course," the pale-haired man says with affability and perfect candor. "Please have some tea."
"Why the rush?"
"I wish to confirm a theory about a patient," he tells Kyouraku as he sips the offered tea. "Treating him has been challenging so far and a misdiagnosis could prove detrimental at this juncture."
"You suspect DID?"
"I do."
"Tell us about it, yeah?"
"Patient presented with symptoms such as depression, memory loss, unexplainable compulsions, bouts of anger and aggression," Uryuu lists, sliding easily into doctor-mode. "Recently, he has admitted frequent feelings of confusion and social disconnection."
"That is pretty vague, considering," ponders Ukitake. He pinches his chin between thumb and forefinger as he considers. "Those could certainly indicate a dissociative condition, but…"
"That could be a dozen different disorders, Uryuu. Got anything more specific?"
"In fact, I do." They turn expectant looks on him and Uryuu fights the urge to smile. Briefly, he describes the events of his last session with Kurosaki. Though he leaves out most of the man's colorful conversational topics. "The switch took a handful of seconds and then I was speaking with a completely different person."
"Too bad you don't record your talks," Kyouraku mourns, clearly impressed. "This kid sounds like a textbook-case multiple personality disorder."
"Speaking of recording, my client was involved in an altercation which was caught on film. It's taking a while to get a copy of the footage, but I suspect it will confirm my prognosis." Ukitake nods encouragingly when Uryuu hesitates. "Only, since I have so little experience with this brand of illness, I was hoping you might have some guidance regarding authentication."
"You mean proving or disproving the presence of genuine alters?" Shaking his head, Ukitake gazes at him with apologetic eyes. "Unfortunately, it's still a hot topic in the professional world. Debates about whether the condition exists or if it's just an offshoot of Borderline Personality Disorder never conclude. What it really comes down to is trusting the individual's word when they describe their symptoms and experiences."
"Does this guy seem trustworthy to you?" Kyouraku asks.
"Yes," he tells them without hesitation.
"One of the most recurrent causes said to influence dissociative tendencies—and the creation of protective personalities—is a traumatic event, typically during childhood. Has your patient ever mentioned anything of the sort to you, Ishida-kun?"
"No, but I believe that event may have occurred with his mother. He has never spoken of her, and the one time I did his eyes sharpened with a vicious warning."
Ukitake shrugs. "Well, of course there are a few techniques to testing and treating, if that's a path you'd like to pursue."
So Ukitake tells him about word-association games and safely triggering a switch. Quizzing and comparing. Using hypnosis to make contact with alters at will. He describes the processes to Uryuu in detail so he can replicate them later. Kyouraku obligingly adds a smattering of breathing exercises, counting, and recitation as ways to fend off spontaneous rage. The discussion doesn't end until the remaining tea is cold and all the mochi is consumed. By the time Uryuu thanks them both and leaves Ukitake's office, he is buoyed by an uncharacteristic optimism. With this knowledge he may be one step closer to getting Kurosaki back in control of his own life.
"Ishida?"
Disrupted from his internal debate over Greek yogurt or regular, Uryuu looks up to see Kurosaki approaching from the soda aisle. Silly as it sounds, he never really imagined he would run into any of his patients outside of work in a city this large. Much less on one of his rare grocery shopping expeditions. The fact that it's Kurosaki and not one of his other, less affable clients is something to be thankful for, though. Uryuu sets down the two tubs and faces the man with a polite nod.
"Hello, Kurosaki."
"Every time you say that it makes me think of walking into your office," he laughs, propping his half-full hand basket on a hip. "Shop here often?"
"Actually, no," Uryuu can't quite smother a smirk at Kurosaki's teasing one-liner, "The one closest to my flat is closed for a family emergency."
"Hope everyone's all right."
Most people say things like that to be polite or even facetious but Uryuu can tell he means it. It's the twist of Kurosaki's frown and the dip of his eyebrows. The shift of his eyes as his thoughts turn to imaginary strangers potentially suffering at the hands of fate. Despite himself, Uryuu warms at the display.
"I'm sure it's nothing serious."
"Yeah..." Kurosaki's expression clears as he thinks of something else. "Hey, did you hear about the hurricane brewing in the Philippines?"
With the ease of a long-standing friendship, they walk through the store together, shopping and chatting. It doesn't occur to Uryuu to question it until after they have checked out and left the building. Kurosaki is telling him about a new coffee shop one of his friends opened down the street. Then he asks if Uryuu bought any refridgerables. He shakes his head, half-listening as his lawyer's grouchy voice starts haranguing him in his mind. Uryuu knows this is one of those 'minor offences' that tend to get psychiatrists into trouble later on but...it just doesn't seem that grave. Running into a patient and taking some time to talk can't possibly be breaking any rules, right?
Uryuu's musing is halted by Kurosaki suddenly taking his wrist and leading them down the road.
"Kurosaki?" he tries, startled. "Where are we going?"
"It's not like you to space out like that," Kurosaki replies, glancing back with a curious tilt of one eyebrow. "I just told you we're going to see my friend's new cafe. I've mentioned you to him so he'll want to meet you. Plus, he could use the extra business."
"But I-"
"It won't take long."
After a moment's deliberation, Uryuu relents. He moves to walk in step beside Kurosaki; the man releases his wrist with a welcoming grin. They don't speak on the short walk over until they come within sight of the shop. Kurosaki shoots him a weird look as they cross the street.
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just...this friend has kinda been hitting on me lately. I'm not interested and I've told him that," he's quick to add with an earnest glance. "I think his libido is in overdrive lately. So I was hoping this won't be awkward for you."
"Why would it be?"
The words are spoken calmly but Uryuu is on edge. He can't reason why the situation should be unpleasant for him unless Kurosaki suspects more than casual feelings from him. They step into the quaint shop and Kurosaki doesn't answer, too busy greeting the owner. Possibly the most exotic-looking person Uryuu has ever seen, the man has long scarlet hair tied up in a frantic splay sticking up at all angles. Bold black tattoos array symmetrically over a large portion of visible skin. Furthermore, his fashion sense is something out of an American 70's apparel magazine. Uryuu thinks he has seen those pants in an episode of 'Gilligan's Island'.
"Ishida, this is Abarai Renji. Renji, this is my psychiatrist Ishida Uryuu."
"Nice to meet you," Uryuu says with a shallow bow.
"Likewise," the man nods, looking him over. "Ichigo, you didn't tell me what a fox your doctor is!"
Kurosaki laughs weakly while Uryuu blinks dumbly at the overt appraisal. Abarai's eyes trace leisurely over his body. Sensing his discomfort, Kurosaki redirects his friend's attention by ordering a latte. Uryuu flashes a grateful smile before requesting one for himself.
Abarai obligingly rings them up and sets to brewing their drinks behind the tidy bar. Glancing around the interior, Uryuu quickly decides the place is cozy, classy, and has the potential to become a hotspot for the trendy youth of the neighborhood. The seating is diner-style booths in earthy colors of russet, forest, and goldenrod. Leaf-patterned shades line the wide windows to provide a more private feel with the lighting.
Bags on the bench beside them, the trio sits down to sip their coffee and schmooze. Uryuu keeps quiet and observes for a while.
"Haven't seen ya in a while, man. Whatcha been up to?"
"This and that. Talking with this guy twice a week for a while now. He's been a lot of help."
"I bet."
Uryuu doesn't miss the way Kurosaki shifts in his seat at that.
"How's business?"
"Good as can be expected for my first year," Abarai wryly admits, glancing around the empty space. "But it'll pick up if I can get a couple of regulars like you two in here!"
Curious, Uryuu breaks his silence, "Why is that?"
"Good for the ambience."
"He means because you're hot," Kurosaki explains at Uryuu's confusion.
"You too, Ichigo," Abarai leers. "I want my place to be the first gay cafe in this city."
"Or anywhere."
Rolling his eyes at Kurosaki, he returns his attention to Uryuu. "So I want to see you around, got it?"
"Y-yes."
"Quit ordering him around, Renji. This guy's such a softie he'll actually do it."
"I beg your pardon, Kurosaki—
"Oh, don't like me bossin' your shrink, eh?" Abarai chuckles as Kurosaki frowns at him. "Unless it's you makin' the demands."
"Shut up, Renji."
"Hey, I don't blame ya—"
"I said shut it."
It's Uryuu's turn to frown as Abarai laughs and shrugs.
"There seems to be a misunderstanding here," Uryuu carefully states to Abarai. "About Kurosaki and I—"
"Nah, I'm just givin' Ichigo a hard time. He told me doctors can't date their patients. Me, on the other hand," he grins, shark-like. "I'd love to hook up some time, if you're into acoustic sets and horror movies."
"Ishida isn't falling for your lame-ass pick-ups, Renji. And don't go assuming people are gay."
"I can speak for myself, Kurosaki, thank you."
"Fine."
Scowling just enough to ebb Abarai's humor, Kurosaki chugs half his latte and sets it down too hard. Uryuu glances between the two men and wonders if he's the one misinterpreting things here. He doesn't appreciate the way Kurosaki seems to want to play big brother to Uryuu around his acquaintance. It's a role-reversal he wasn't prepared for.
"I'm flattered, Abarai-san, but I—"
"Call me Renji."
"Ishida doesn't like using given na—never mind."
"Kurosaki is right: I would prefer to stick with your family name, if that is acceptable."
"Suit yourself."
"Unfortunately, I am not currently seeking a relationship."
"I'm not asking for your hand in marriage," Abarai clarifies with raised eyebrow. Or raised tattoo, rather.
"I'm not interested in a one-night stand, either."
"You sure?" Kurosaki pipes up with a flippant expression. "It's been a while since your last one. Though I guess that could've been a chick. I don't think you ever said."
"Whoa—what? Ichigo, why do you know about it?"
Uryuu glares at Kurosaki across the black lacquered table. He doesn't understand this sudden immaturity and he definitely doesn't feel like dealing with this right now. It's bad enough Orihime convinced him to go shopping this weekend when he could be using this precious time editing his latest research paper. Even if they were having a pleasant discussion earlier, his attitude now is far from agreeable. Kurosaki just had to come along and distract him, confuse him, and then pester him with his misplaced jealousy.
"Nothing," Uryuu mutters darkly. "Ignore him."
"Riiiight. I'm gonna go do coffee shop stuff and leave you two alone for a minute."
His eyes stay locked on Kurosaki as Renji slides out of the booth and walks off to tend the bar across the room. Uryuu waits until the man is out of earshot before speaking in a low tone.
"Kurosaki, I don't know what your issue is with me right now but I would be very grateful if you could manage not to act like a child."
"My issue, Ishida, is that you're about to be eaten by that wolf," Kurosaki snarls right back, leaning elbows on the table to bring himself closer to Uryuu, an aggressive gesture. "I warned you before we came in, didn't I?"
"I'm a grown man and I can handle myself. Maybe I'd like to 'be eaten', as you say."
At that, Kurosaki withdraws, blushing outright. Uryuu is reminded of the day they met and how the man had reddened like a tomato when Uryuu had laid down the law in his office. He's starting to think Kurosaki has a thing for chastisement. Watching the man closely, he sighs when Kurosaki's pout turns petulant.
"You don't know anything about him."
"That's why it's called a 'one-night stand'."
"Fine," Kurosaki spits as he slams a fist onto the table. "Do whatever you want."
"Thanks for your permission."
"You're welcome."
"I should go."
"See you."
Taking an extra minute to stare him down, Uryuu resolves to leave it alone for now. They can talk about it next week after they've both cooled off. Without another word, he grabs his drink and rises. Abarai watches him go without a word. He gets a block and a half away before he remembers his groceries.
"I was just messin' around, Ichigo," he hears Abarai yell from the bar as he returns. "I'm not about to try 'n hit that."
"Don't act like he's not your type," Kurosaki shouts from the other side of the shop. "You know you like the pretty, nerdy ones. Your ex was an androgynous game designer!"
Uryuu knows he shouldn't listen but he can't help himself. Overhearing the explanation will be so much easier than squeezing it out of Kurosaki in his office. Ducking to the right of the door in the cover of a wall, he indulges his curiosity at the risk of his dignity.
"My ex turned out to be hikikomori! Your doctor has better social skills than both of us put together."
"Ishida is too nice for you. He actually gives a shit about his patients, unlike every other psychiatrist out there. So don't fuck this up for me!"
"Look, you're not hearing me, Ichigo!"
"That's because all you ever do is bullshit everyone."
"I'm not saying I wouldn't happily screw him into an early grave, given the chance," the man admits, sparking a mild rush to Uryuu's head. "But I know he's not up for grabs, so-"
"It's not like that," Kurosaki huffs, losing steam. "He's my doctor."
"It's only breaking a rule if you get caught, right?"
He has heard enough. Pushing open the door, Uryuu ignores their startled glances and pretends nothing is amiss. People believe what they want to, especially when you give every indication you just happened to walk in without having heard anything embarrassing.
"I forgot my bag." Kurosaki wordlessly hands it to him. They both continue to stare as he walks over to take it, turns to leave, and hesitates at the door. "I'll see you on Tuesday, Kurosaki. It was nice to meet you, Abarai-kun."
"Yeah."
"Right," Kurosaki mumbles.
On the walk home, Uryuu fails to shut inappropriate thoughts out. Hearing Kurosaki and Abarai talk about him not just as a doctor but as a young man was something he is entirely unprepared for. Objectively, it makes sense that Kurosaki is attracted to him on some level, if only because of what he has done to help the man over these past months. Subjectively, Uryuu doesn't want it to be true because if it is there could be unpleasant ramifications for both of them. He would rather assume Kurosaki's irritation stems from another source, such as embarrassment. Besides, Uryuu can't help picturing Kurosaki going for someone more open and amusing. Or less like Uryuu in most ways.
Still, the idea is there. Dark arguments rise to battle the fairy tale as he turns the final corner to his street. Scenarios like Kurosaki and Ise hooking up after a round of drinks one night. Abarai convincing him to indulge their libidos. Orihime reconnecting with her old flame after all this time.
Uryuu is not so dense that he doesn't realize what he is like. There are good reasons why he has been single the majority of his life that have nothing to do with his preferences. Workaholic, neat-freak, nerd, and over-analytical. These terms describe his prominent personality traits very well. Plus, he is thin and pale and dresses like an old professor more often than not.
By comparison, Kurosaki is fit and flush with vitality. His clothes are the kind of carelessly trendy you find in the nicer club scenes. Quick to defend others, honest and forthright. Kurosaki is the type of easygoing person who people are universally drawn to despite his shortcomings. From a logical perspective, there's no way he would go for someone like Uryuu. It's not even worth pondering. Even if it wasn't completely incomprehensible to begin with.
None of that stops him from daydreaming about it.
