Post It Window
Chapter Four: Red
A/N: As always, I own nothing.
Riku was fourteen years old when she experienced the first real heartbreak.
Risa, Daisuke, and she were in their second year of middle school, and formed a strong friendship. They were inseparable during all times, and Riku had never felt happier. They had even had Satoshi. A serious boy in their grade, join in their group, and despite his standoffish personality, he fit in well. Every day was fun and full of laughter.
Dark was seventeen and in his second year of high school, and their friendship was still intact, though they had lost some of their closeness. Riku didn't take this personally. Dark was three years older, and had his own friends and high school activities. They would message each other, and sometimes, he would invite her over his place to play games, but those days were few and far in between. Riku also suspected he dated a lot and did not want to intrude.
She herself didn't date, though not for lack of trying from the boys. Riku was surprised to come to her second year of middle school and find herself admirers that were never there before. Risa was always a given with her cute personality and delicate features, but Riku's popularity came as shock to her. Years of soccer paid off on her figure as she was lean with strong and long legs that were still developing. Riku had also began to fill out, and said goodbye to her training bra and hello to sports bra as her chest had gotten enough to hurt if she ran without one. Her face lost her girlishness and her cheekbones and lips made it clear to others that Riku was definitely turning into a woman. It was this kick to puberty's ass that made Riku a bit more confident, which did not go unnoticed. As such, she found herself every week being called out to the school yard to reject another confession from boys she didn't talk to.
Despite her growth, Daisuke never switched over his affections, and for awhile she was content with that. But then as their second year went on, she noticed Daisuke getting bolder with Risa. He was messaging her constantly, carrying her things, and one day he had asked her if she could stop making Risa her bento since he wanted to do it. The more concerning part was that Risa liked this Daisuke who gave all his attention to her. And Riku couldn't blame her. She and Risa weren't the only one who won puberty. While Daisuke was nowhere near as handsome as Dark, he had grown into his own. He had shot up a couple inches, and that growth spurt didn't look like it would stop soon. And despite his lean look, he was actually pretty strong, and athletic. Though compared to Dark, the younger brother looked more gentle and innocent, but that didn't mean his face didn't have the strong jaw line, and his voice dropped nearly as low as the older one. All this Risa saw and didn't hide her appreciation for him.
Though she saw it coming (but nothing could have prepared her for it), it still hurt when Daisuke called Risa out behind the school to confess. Riku didn't mean to look, but she was returning handouts to the faculty room, and when she looked out the window, both of them were red in the face and smiling wide.
Risa accepted his confession.
She skipped soccer practice that day and ran home. When she was about to enter her front door, she realized she didn't want to be alone. Riku was not a stupid girl, but she was feeling her heart shatter with each passing moment, and that tended to affect her line of thinking. She began her climb up until she reached the windowsill. She knocked once and figured if he didn't open the window after that, she would let herself fall. It was only a two story drop, and maybe a broken leg would cancel out the pain of a broken heart.
"Riku-chan?" There was no way she could have seen him, but she felt a strong pair of arms hoist her up, and she found herself falling on top of Dark, who was both shocked to see her, and had on his best Dammit-Riku-what-the-hell-were-you-doing look on. Maybe it was the look on his face, or the fact that his arms around her made her feel protected, or maybe it was the memory of her first time ever in his room years ago that made her snap, but Riku's sobs started and had no desire to stop.
Dark was so good at being there when she cried. They were still on the floor of his room, her on top of him, and instinctively, his arms wrapped themselves around her, bringing her closer to his form. Riku was not a quiet crier, and she sobbed without shame into the shirt of his uniform, wailing at the pain that was greater than she had ever felt in her life. He kept whispering in her ear, "It's gonna be okay, Riku-chan, it's going to be okay," while rubbing her head gently. At one point, she swore he kissed the top of her head, but she was so far gone that she was not sure if it was real.
After an hour of this, Riku had calmed down enough to pry her body away from him and wipe her runny nose with her sleeve. All the while, Dark stared at her patiently, and Riku got a good look at her best friend, whom she hadn't seen in awhile. He was so much taller than she remembered (but maybe he was always at least a foot taller than her five-foot-three stature) with wilder hair and stronger arms and core than she could recall—she blushed from remembering she had cried into his well defined pecs, and how many girls would have killed to be in her position.
"Do you wanna talk about what's wrong?" he asked. He never pushed her or rushed her, which she always appreciated.
"Daisuke-kun confessed to my sister. She accepted."
Thankfully, there was no I told you so that followed, and Dark scooted closer to her to embrace her again. Now that she was aware of her surroundings, she was in tune to his scent; he smelled like grass after a storm.
"I'm sorry, Riku-chan," he told her softly.
"It's okay," she told him. "I should have seen it coming. I mean, why would Daisuke-kun like me when Risa is around? I knew he liked her. I was just fooling myself into thinking I had a chance. There was no way he would like me. Why would he?"
"There are plenty of reasons for him to like you." Dark's voice was low again, and Riku felt it vibrate from his chest.
"No, that's okay. You don't have to make me feel better, Dark. I have accepted that I am not as cute, or feminine, or loveable."
"Riku-chan, I am being serious; there are plenty of reasons for anyone to like you." He was so adamant, but she didn't care. The sorrow of her broken heart had morphed into self-deprecation. She was pretty and newly popular and rejected many confessions a day, but she really only wanted somehow who knew her and accepted her all the way through.
"Maybe I will never find someone who just really wants me."
It happened so fast. He moved so quickly and pushed her down so that her back was on his floor. It was like being six all over again and him tackling her to move her out of harm's way. But she was no longer that small six year old, and Dark was seventeen and a man, and gripping on to her wrists so strongly, and encasing her legs with his so that she couldn't move, and Riku realized that Dark's eyes always had the ability to render her speechless. Despite that, she somehow managed to find her voice and called out his name, "Dark?" so much more breathily and huskier than she intended.
Maybe it was the way she said his name, but something in him let loose, and Riku found Dark's lips on her own, kissing her with open passion and desire. She didn't react out of pure shock, but that didn't deter him. His hands were all over her. They found the back of her thighs, the small of her back and the area just above her belly button and below her breasts; his touch felt like fire. Her lower regions suddenly felt a pang of hunger that had nothing to do with food, and Riku was overcome with the desire to consume him. She kissed him back with just as much need, hearing him moan with heat. Somewhere in her mind, she knew she might have wanted this for a long time. Somewhere in her mind knew that this was so right—of all people in this world, aside from her sister, he understood her—and she was blind to it before out of a childhood crush that never bloomed into love for the younger brother.
She called out his name again in a moan, and Dark immediately released her and turned away from her. Riku tried catching her breath, not realizing that she had lost it in the first place. Dark looked more flushed than she ever knew it possible for him to be.
"Riku-chan, you should go. You're sad and vulnerable and you should go."
Something was wrong. Maybe she was still lightheaded from the kisses, but she knew that something was wrong. He was getting it all wrong. "Dark, no, I wanted to do that…"
"You're vulnerable right now. It's okay, I understand." He turned to look at her and smiled, though it appeared so distant to her. "Go home. I'm sorry for taking advantage."
"Taking advantage?" Riku repeated in a monotone voice, afraid of what he meant.
"Yeah, I shouldn't have. You were just cute, and I hadn't gone out with someone in a few weeks, so my hormones just took over. I am so sorry. I promise to never take advantage of you again. I promise."
Ah, that's right. Dark dated a lot. He was a playboy. She had been so silly to think that there was something more. She could not be mad at him. He was being honest, and she only got carried away. It had felt nice to be wanted after losing a first love.
"No, that's okay. I get it. You're right. I'm sorry, too. I'll go now." She awkwardly walked over to the window and avoided looking at him. "Thanks for comforting me. I promise that the…here, it won't change a thing."
When she climbed back down, she swore she heard glass shatter against the wall, but didn't go back to check. When she looked out her window later that night before heading to bed, she noticed the glass pencil holder usually perched on his desk was nowhere to be found.
Ultra Special Blah Blah Blah: With the fourth chapter, this story is halfway over and I want to thank anyone who is reading, and again, thanks to Sister of the Pharaoh for the prompt.
I also want to address Nom de Plume's review, briefly. I would have liked to do it over a PM but oh well:
First off, thank you for the thought and the critique you are providing. I also enjoy hearing constructive criticism that can help me be a better writer. I want to address a few things—peek into my mind I guess—just so that there is an understanding for some things. But overall, I do agree with your points.
Riku's tomboyish nature doesn't necessarily equate to being naturally messy, nor will her friendship with Dark mean she is not easily embarrassed by mess—Dark most likely couldn't care less, but it may be Riku's character trait.. This is based off my own personality to be honest, and I'm a naturally organized and neat person, but occasionally have a mess in my room that I would just die if anyone saw. It is nothing major, and as a writer, it was my responsibility to convey that in the story, so I will be mindful to do so in the future.
Also, in terms of fingerless gloves and wallet search, that's a my bad, but as astute as Riku is, I like to think she can be easily flustered and distracted. Regardless, there is no other excuse. Total my bad.
Dark's use of Dai-chani actually did think about, but I felt him saying "Daisuke" would imply anger to his brother, which is not the case. I wanted Dark to be obviously angry with Riku, not his brother(who we hardly see, but he is mentioned which makes the way people refer to him a bit important) who did nothing wrong. He is angry with Riku for not noticing that he is also kind and thinks about her, though his anger is also not exactly justified. But he is still a kid.
Similarly with Riku and her danger of "hating" Risa. Riku is only 12 and a kid who doesn't really understand the heaviness of the word "hate" (and this is mostly told through a third person POV but from Riku's perspective) as most kids don't seem to understand. For Riku, she is upset that her sister is the one Daisuke likes, and that jealously is often mistaken for hate. Riku has a complex with her sister in this stage in her life. Now why I didn't have the same for Dark? I like to think Dark doesn't really have the same complex overall. Risa is always the one that people praise for her looks and personality, and while Riku is liked, she is regarded as second best (whether this is something she internalizes or is validated from the outside, I'm not fully certain). Dark is anything but insecure, and therefore I didn't think he would feel that same anger.
Most of my fics that involve the four of them as siblings comes from my fascination with sibling dynamics. In a lot of fics, I always see Riku and Risa partake in the glorious war of sisterly rivalry, but miss the love they share. I want to make sure that rivalry is there in this fic since it calls for it, but that there is a realization that they are sisters that love each other very much. If I wrote more about Daisuke or in his perspective, his and Dark's dynamic would parallel the Harada sisters.
In the end though, my responsibility as a writer is to help bring these messages in the choice of words and details I include, and so my goal is to better myself in that way. This was a defense to some things, but also a concession that I have ways to go and that I recognize that you really probably aren't the only one with similar thoughts and interpretations. Therefore, in that sense, I agree with what you said, because I failed to get my point in which could have been clearer with added details or subtle gestures that would have made more sense.
I hope you continue to read and review, and thank you for taking the time to critique. I don't think my writing or this story is perfect (as future chapters will probably tell you) so I appreciate input. Maybe I won't fix the issues in this story, but it will improve future ones for sure.
Happy reading! Please review!
