Chapter Nine

Melding

Fili

Over the next couple of weeks Fili tried his best to remain calm and completely normal (which was no easy feat.) He continued to hang out with Kili, due to the fact that the boy came over all the time, whether it was for dinner or just to visit with the family. Fili couldn't blame him; after all, Thorin was his only blood-relative left, and he probably wanted to seize the chance and spend as much time with him as possible, and as time went by, Kili became a little bit more comfortable and began asking about his parents, eager to hear stories about them. It always put a smile of Fili's face.

Although things were going well, and Fili was trying to hold it together, it wasn't exactly working. Everyone that knew him couldn't help but notice how reserved he had become, when he was normally so friendly and outgoing, at least towards the people he was close to. Now he was always quiet, throwing all his focus into his job and his art. He was extremely productive, which wasn't something to be frowned upon, but his quietness and attitude worried his family and friends.

Despite his discomfort and sudden anti-social moods, Fili was really happy to be spending time with Kili. The two were starting to get to know each other really well, and the more they talked, the more they discovered how well they clicked and got along, and each other's company soon became a normal thing, causing Fili to feel somewhat lonely when they were parted.

The only thing that Fili truly couldn't handle were the dreams. They all started one night after he had sat down to work on a drawing, and try as he might to think of anything else to draw, he couldn't focus on a single thing but Kili. He was itching to draw the slender brunette, but he avoided it, feeling like it was creepy thing to do, even though he'd drawn loads of strangers in the past, not to mention he preferred drawing his subjects whilst he could look at them, and he wasn't about to ask Kili if he could draw him. He'd probably go running for the hills and never look back.

Anyway, after he'd gone to bed that night, having accomplished nothing at all, Fili had dreamt of a certain brunette. It hadn't been anything too fascinating - just a normal dream about them sitting in Fili's backyard, talking about various subjects. It had almost been like real life, and Fili had been able to handle it. The same could not be said for the next night, when he had dreamt of them at the beach - touching, kissing, holding hands - or the night after that when he'd had Kili in his bed, naked as the day he was born, doing unspeakable things. It got worse every night, and Fili was losing a lot of sleep over it.

It was a morning after one of these eventful dreams when Thorin and Bilbo decided to sit down with their adopted son and have a little chat.

"Fili, what is wrong with you?" Bilbo began, cutting straight to the chase. He was never one to beat around the bush.

"What do you mean?" Fili demanded defensively, even though he was well aware that he hadn't been acting normal recently.

Bilbo lifted a brow. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You haven't been yourself recently. First you started distancing yourself from people - you've barely talked at all - and now you are sleeping later than usual and, to be quite frank, look a little bit sick. We're worried," he gushed, glancing quickly at Thorin as he spoke.

"I already told Thorin. I'm fine."

"But you're not, Fili. All three of us know that," Thorin spoke, his thick, dark eyebrows pulled down into a frown. "You're acting like you used to, before things got bad."

Fili wanted to leave. He didn't want to sit there and face both of the men who raised him and lie to their faces. He wasn't okay, but he also wasn't doing as poorly as he had in the past. He really was handling things on his own, and he was working on getting his emotions in check. Everything would be fine… he hoped.

"I'm only having a few personal problems. It's nothing to worry about. It's just stupid teenager stuff."

"But you're not a teenager anymore," Bilbo noted. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the blonde with a face that reminded him of a therapist, and Fili honestly felt a little intimidated by the man, even though he was so tiny that his feet couldn't reach the floor from where he sat in his armchair. "Maybe you need to go back to therapy."

Fili inwardly groaned and rolled his eyes. Speaking of therapists…

"I don't need to go back to therapy," he said firmly, shaking his head for emphasis. "I simply need some time alone. You guys don't have to cause an entire intervention every time I get a little upset. It's not necessary."

Neither one of them looked convinced but let the subject drop, much to Fili's relief. He wasn't prepared, however, for what they changed the topic of conversation to.

"Well, just so you are aware," Bilbo began carefully, "Kili has approached me and said he'd like to move in. It took a while for me to convince him that he's more than welcome, but he finally came around."

Fili almost choked. He had not been expecting that at all, not that he didn't want Kili to move in, but it was being sprung on him quite unexpectedly… and not at the greatest time. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle living under the same roof as Kili without smothering him, but he knew he was going to have to buck up and learn to deal with it. And besides, he really did like Kili's company, and it would be nice to live with someone his age for once.

"Okay," he coughed, trying his best not to blush furiously at his sudden onslaught of thoughts. Bilbo and Thorin seemed to take no notice.

"That's settled, then," Bilbo nodded, hopping out of his chair. "I'd like you to clean out the guest bedroom, across from yours, to the best of your ability. We don't need him to move into a clustered and dusty room."

Fili nodded, and the short man departed, mumbling something about starting breakfast. He sat quietly, trying to wrap his mind around the events that were soon to come. It was proving to be quite the day.


Kili

The day Kili moved into his uncle's house was the day Tauriel decided she wanted to get together with him. He stood in the middle of the guest bedroom - now his bedroom - staring at the text message he'd just received on his brand new phone. He'd never had the money for a fancy cell phone before, but Thorin had insisted on adding him to their wireless plan, and Kili hadn't put up much of an argument for once, thinking of what Fili had told him the day they'd pulled weeds.

Kili glanced across the room at said blonde, who was working on putting together a new dresser. He'd done a really nice job of fixing up the room for Kili, but it still hadn't had much storage, so he and Fili had taken a trip to the nearest furniture store, and since Kili wasn't very good with large, heavy objects, he had gladly let Fili take over.

Picnic tonight?

Kili looked at the text message for what felt like the thousandth time. He had promised Tauriel he'd hang out with her, but she had kind of picked a busy time. He didn't want to let her down, though, so after a long internal argument with himself over it, he decided to reply with a simple:

Sure.

Kili looked at Fili again, whose back was turned towards him. He thought he should probably tell him about his get-together with Tauriel, since he would, after all, wonder where he was going, but at the same time he couldn't bring it up. There was something about it that made him feel like he should hide it from Fili, and he was hoping the blonde wouldn't find out. Which meant that he would have to come up with some stupid excuse to leave the house, but he was keen on following this gut feeling, so he would do what he had to do.

When the time came to leave, Kili ended up telling his new family that he was meeting up with Ori, and none of them had any sort of concern over the matter. Fili perhaps looked a bit crestfallen, probably having expected to spend Kili's first night living with them in a more celebratory manner.

"I won't be late," he promised, looking directly at Fili.

The park that Kili met Tauriel at was huge, green and beautiful. A recent rainstorm had obviously done great things for the plants and grass, and in the middle of the park was a huge hill that overlooked part of the city, creating the perfect space to have a meal with a friend.

"Tauriel," he greeted, giving her a hug before helping to set up. The girl had brought dinner, and Kili nearly laughed at the sight: two ham sandwiches, a container of store-bought potato salad, and a six pack of root beer. Kili couldn't help but think it was another reason she and Legolas should get together. He didn't know the other boy very well, but he had an inkling that he probably knew how to cook - at least better than the redhead did.

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice," she grinned, pulling him down to sit on the blanket with her. "I had a client cancel, so I got off of work early, and figured it was a good chance to do this. It gave me the time to get everything set up."

Kili smiled. "It's not a problem. I didn't have a lot going on this evening anyway."

"I thought you were moving into your uncle's today?"
Before answering, Kili cracked open a can of root beer and took a sip, shrugging. "Yeah, I did. But we didn't have any plans for this evening, and I honestly don't have that many belongings. It didn't take much time."

The two of them ate in a comfortable silence. It was, for the most part, still like spring time outside, so the sun began setting soon after they began, and Kili was content with just watching the glow of the city become brighter and brighter. Eventually Tauriel spoke up, chatty as she was, and the two discussed different things, such as films they'd seen recently, a few happenstances from their childhoods, etc. Everything was actually going really well, and Kili was having a great time, until his redheaded companion decided to scoot closer to him, effectively invading his personal space.

He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much, but he scooted over, nonetheless, trying to put some distance between the two of them, to no avail. Tauriel just moved even closer, clearly not getting the hint.

At one point, after an insufferable amount of scooting about, Kili opened his mouth to ask Tauriel what she was doing, but he didn't get the chance. Instead, she took that as her cue to go in for the kill.

Her lips brushed his momentarily, and it took everything in him to keep from flinching away. Instead, he held very still, hoping she'd notice his discomfort. And it didn't take her long at all.

"Sorry," she gasped, pulling back, a pretty, pink tint scattered over her high cheek bones.

"It's fine," he mumbled back, once again moving away slightly. He felt completely disoriented, and it was quiet for a while before he continued, "Why'd you do it?"

"I like you a lot," she admitted, looking shyly up at him through thick lashes, "a-and I thought you liked me back, so I figured it would be okay."

Utterly shocked, Kili just stared at the girl. She had to be joking.

Suddenly defensive, Tauriel leaned back and gave him a hurt look. "What is that expression for?" she demanded. "You're looking at me like I'm stupid or something."

"No. No no no no, that's not it at all!" he gushed, reaching out to grab her hand in his own. "I promise, it's not. I do like you, Tauriel, but only as a friend. I just though you knew… I thought you were able to see.." he trailed off, unsure of how to go about the subject.

"Knew what?" she squinted at him, as if she were trying to look into his head and see the answer.

"I'm… well, I'm gay," he finally grumbled with a shrug. "I thought you knew that."

For a very long time Tauriel didn't respond, and she looked down at her hands, her head hanging low. Kili felt as if he had just punctured a child's balloon, dampening her entire day, and he didn't know how to go about fixing it.

"Tauriel-"

She cut him off with a raise of her hand, but didn't lift her head. "You and everyone else. Apparently that's the sort of men that are drawn towards me."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it?" she snapped, finally looking back up at him. Her hair danced as she quickly moved her head, reminding him of fire. It went well with her sudden, fiery attitude. "Fili, Legolas, and now you," she ticked off on her fingers, a furious expression on her face. "There's not a single straight boy in my life. Nobody wants me."

Kili was momentarily baffled. He'd had no idea that Fili was gay. He didn't ponder the new information for long, though, since it was definitely not the time or place to be worrying about it.

"Listen to me, Tauriel," he spoke firmly, dragging her full attention back to him. "That is not true. Despite what you think, Legolas is not gay. He's told you that a countless number of times, but you choose to ignore him."

"Yes he is," she retorted. "I know he is."

Kili tried to suppress his eye-roll, but considering the annoyed look she shot him, it hadn't worked very well. "And how do you know this? I barely know the guy, and I'm one-hundred percent sure that he's not. Sure, he's not the manliest person ever, but he's got it so bad for you, and you haven't even noticed."

Her eyebrows shot up so high on her forehead that Kili thought they might disappear into her hairline. "Me?" she gestured towards herself. "That's not true."

"Yes it is!" he groaned in frustration. "Tauriel, listen to me. He. Is. In. Love. With. You. I know things didn't go so well in your past, Fili told me, but that doesn't matter now. You need to move on and give that boy a chance."

Tauriel still looked skeptical, but Kili also saw something light up her eyes - a sort of repressed excitement that he hadn't seen come out of her until now. She leaned over and hugged him, suddenly looked embarrassed.

"Sorry," she mumbled into his shoulder. "I should've known. I guess I've just been blind to it, because I was hoping you'd like me. I've been denying it and convinced myself that you're straight."

"I'm not upset," he reassured her, giving her back a friendly pat. "And you shouldn't be either."

She tipped her head up to look at him, a small smile gracing her perfect lips. "What about you? Have your heart set on anyone?"
He shook his head, avoiding eye contact.

"Well," she sighed, going back to lying her head on his shoulder. "We will just have to find you someone special."

"We'll see."


By the time Kili returned to his uncle's (which he supposed was now his home as well,) it was much later than he had hoped. After the awkwardness had dissipated between him and Tauriel, the two of them had had a great time sitting in the park, looking at the stars and discussing random things. It had been relaxing and much needed, but Kili still felt a little guilty about staying out so long.

"You still awake?" he asked quietly, tapping on Fili's bedroom door. It was cracked opened slightly, and warm light was pouring out, so he didn't think the blonde was asleep yet.

When no reply came he pushed the door open and stepped inside. Sure enough, Fili was sitting at his desk, hunkered over a large piece of sketch paper, a graphite pencil in hand, moving fluidly over the page. He didn't take any notice of Kili.

"Hey," he tapped him on the shoulder, deciding too late that it probably wasn't the best approach.

Fili nearly jumped out of his chair and turned to look up at the brunette, his blue eyes wide with surprise. "Jesus, Kili. You nearly scared me to death."

"I didn't mean to. What are you drawing?"

Fili slowly turned to look back at what he had been sketching. Suddenly a heavy flush crawled over his neck and face, and he leaned forward, trying to block out Kili's view of the paper. "Um, it's nothing."

"Nothing? I'm sure it's not 'nothing.' Let me see."

It looked as if Fili was about to argue with him, but Kili gave him a stern look, and the older boy finally leaned back, a grimace on his face.

For a moment, Kili could only stare, eyebrows lifted high. "Is that me?"

Fili gave a nod so small that Kili wasn't sure he had actually moved at all. The drawing was obviously just a sketch, hardly detailed or fleshed out at all, but the brunette still recognized his own face when he saw it. It was a pretty large drawing of him from the waist up, his hair half pulled back in a bun, wild strands falling out of it in a few places. He had a bright smile on his face and an apron on, and he was clearly looking at something off to the side of the portrait.

"Is it.. at work?"

"I got the idea the other day when I was at the coffee shop, and I've been itching to draw it ever since. I finally made myself do it today."

"It's really, really good, Fili," Kili sighed, admiring the blonde's artistic skills. If it had been anyone else he probably would've been a little self-conscious, and maybe even creeped out, but the fact that Fili had drawn him didn't bother him one bit. Maybe it was because most of Fili's art was depictions of complete strangers, or maybe it was because he simply had a special spot for the blonde in his heart. Either way, he felt incredibly honored that Fili wanted to draw him.

Shrugging, Fili replied, "It's alright."

Kili's eyebrows furrowed, confused at the depressing tone of Fili's voice. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied, standing up. He wouldn't make eye contact with Kili, and he proceeded to clean up his art supplies, mumbling things under his breath. "How was your night?" he eventually asked.

Deciding to give Fili a dose of his own medicine, the brunette just shrugged. "It was alright."

"Where were you, anyway?" Fili turned on him suddenly, a fierce look on his normally-warm face.

"I told you-"

"Don't lie to me," Fili interrupted. "I could tell you were lying earlier." He stepped closer, a calculating look in his eyes. "And you smell like Tauriel."

The brunette chose not to respond.

"So you were with her," Fili smiled, but it was anything but kind.

"What of it? She's my friend. I was talking to her before I'd even met you."

"Yeah, and she seems to have some sort of undying devotion to you, and you've barely known each other for a month." Fili retorted. "I would even go as far as to say she's head over heels for you. I don't know if you've noticed."

Letting out a long sigh, Kili sat on the bed. He wasn't in the mood for this at all and sort of regretted coming into Fili's room. "Listen, I'll be honest with you. She definitely had a crush on me, but I had no idea! I thought we were just supposed to be hanging out as friends, but then she tried to lay some moves on me, and things got really awkward… I had no idea!"

"Then why did you lie about where you were going?"

A sudden anger flared up inside of Kili. "I don't know! Why are you so worried about it anyway? It's my life. I have every right to do what I want. It's not like you're jealous. You don't want her!"

A hurt look crossed Fili's face. "What? What do you mean by that?"

"Fili, I know you're gay. Tauriel told me."

Brief rage flashed over the blonde's face, but Kili continued before he could say anything.

"And don't be upset, because she didn't mean to! And I'm pretty sure she thought I already knew. It's not her fault."

Fili's rigid posture sagged, and he sat down on his bed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It sounds like you turned her down."

"I did."

Blue eyes looked up and met his. They were swimming with some sort of intense, unidentifiable emotion. "Why?"

"It's like you said when I questioned your painting of her," he pointed at said painting, remembering Fili's words very clearly in his head. It all made sense now. "She's not my type."

The blonde's eyes grew unbelievably wide, and before Kili had any idea what was happening, Fili was on his feet and standing incredibly close to him. "What did you say?"
"She's not my t-"

Kili was unable to finish his sentence, as he was promptly cut off by the blonde's lips, which were suddenly melding to his own.


Wehhhh! What do you guys think so far? I'm starting to really feel sorry for these boys. At first, I wasn't that devoted to this story, but now I'm beginning to really care. I guess we will see what happens next...