A/N:
-I am not a Beth fan nor do I support the pairing of Bethyl, but I do have respect for her character. I am aware of all ships and do not condone bashing of anyone's preference. I am however, a believer that whatever transpired between Beth, and Daryl was more of a familial flare; a little sister sort of deal.
-This fanfic i provide for you is purely for fun, and i do not claim in any way shape or form to know what the hell I am doing when it comes to keeping things in character lol. (especially this being my first fanfic to write ever) This is simply my version of what I like to imagine the show continuing with. So that being said there will probably be some OOC from this point onwards depending on how you see it, but like i said before, i encourage you to keep an open mind, and just have fun with me :)
-Carol's been too mellow for my liking lately, so i decided to light a fire up her ass in this chapter.
Disclaimer: The Walking Dead and its characters are sadly not mine to own. Only Clyde.
What had happened?
It had been the question she found herself asking since their recent funeral outside the church.
Beth...
The youngest of the Greene girls; innocence of their group. The little blonde seraph sent to soothe their souls with her angelic voice. She had met her fate just hours ago in front of her very eyes. It shouldn't have happened. But it did, and they were all struggling to pull it together, her beloved sister, Maggie, being inconsolable.
However, as they all gathered together in this time of grief, there was something that didn't sit right with her. Didn't feel right. Yes, they were all visibly distraught, and she felt terrible for thinking this way, but he was just a little bit more so than would be appropriate.
Maybe it was nothing, she thought, and convinced herself of that. But then more days were going by, and while others were starting to balance out a little more, he seemed to be getting worse, instead of better. Drawing into himself the way he would in the past. Secluding himself more from the group. Staying out longer during hunts alone, and coming back with even less, eyes red, hair disheveled as if he'd been pulling at it relentlessly, and evidence of tear stains. He was lashing out at anyone to come near him with an anger so deep he almost had to be restrained. Couldn't even talk to him.
This wasn't the man she knew. Wasn't the person she had become so close to over the years, her best friend. The man she would torment herself in secret over the bewildering feelings he would awake inside her.
Daryl...Her Daryl...
This wasn't him.
Day after day, she would witness this darkness consuming him ever so slowly, and she couldn't keep suppressing this feeling that was startling to bubble inside her. She knew what it was, and was disgusted with herself to even entertain the thought of it, but...The way he was acting...
She was jealous.
What had happened between him and Beth?
One day, they had set up camp in a cottage in the woods much like the one she and Tyreese had stumbled upon running into that snake of a man, Martin, from Terminus. The group was scattered around their bonfire outside, just enjoying each other's company as the sun was beginning to set littering the sky with its lovely purples, pinks, and orange streaks. The atmosphere was comfortable, and idle conversation drifted among them, some eating their dinner of snack bars, or just staring into the flames contentedly.
Carol however, couldn't sit still, and kept looking around and staring off into the trees. Her better half was missing once again, but he hadn't mentioned anything about going for a hunt this time. Meaning he was off again lamenting by himself, in the darkness.
She couldn't let that be.
"Where's Daryl?" she asked aimlessly, directing the question towards anyone, hoping someone would know. Didn't matter who.
They all looked around at each other as if just noticing his absence. This irked her a bit. Was she the only one that worried about him?
"Actually, I saw him not too long ago slip away into the trees behind the cabin. He looked like he needed to get away." said the brave soul, ducking her head suddenly feeling guilty about not saying anything.
Carol smiled gratefully in Tara's direction, and stood carefully on wobbly legs wincing at the pain that shot through the right side of her body. She put her hand up to stop Tyreese as he began to step forward to help her silently conveying the message to him, and to everyone as they looked at her. She was going alone. She needed her time alone with the brooding hunter.
Tyreese nodded understanding, and let her pass, as she stepped over Michonne's legs and began her trek around the back of the cabin, and through the trees hunting her prey. She swallowed a large lump in her throat that seemed to drop to the pit of her stomach.
She had a bad feeling this time.
Daryl's feet felt as if he had cinder-blocks tied to them. Carrying himself was the hardest part of this grieving process.
When would it end?
He felt as if the tears would never stop coming. Why the fuck was he allowing himself to be so weak, crying like a god damn pussy under the cover of darkness! He was actually weeping now, as he let his dismal thoughts wash over him as they had been the past few days, however long it's been since her death. His footsteps were slowing considerably until he couldn't even hold his body upright anymore. Daryl fell to his knees, feeling completely hopeless, crossbow falling to his side forgotten. The tears were falling in droplets from his eyes now, and he wiped furiously at them trying to gain some kind of control over the situation, but they just kept coming.
Failure. Always a failure.
Couldn't save his own flesh n' blood, Merle. Was too late in getting to Sophia. Wasn't there to stop Rick from banishing Carol, possibly saving her from these demons she's had to face in their time of separation. Caused Carol to get hit by a car, and then forced to watch as they stole her from him.
And now Beth...
Why was he always failing?
"All ya had to do was keep an eye on her!"
Memories of his own words thrown so viciously to the one person he had formed a close bond with came back to haunt him.
She was his responsibility, and he had a moment of weakness, getting comfortable to the point of letting his guard down. God damn bitch, why did she have to make him comfortable! He slammed his fists angrily onto the muddy soil.
His breaths were coming in quick and heavy, and somewhere in the back of his unstable mind, he knew he was making a lot of noise, yelling and striking the ground like a god damn child. Comprehension of anything around him wasn't possible at that moment, and all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and let the ground swallow him whole.
There was an audible snapping of twigs from behind him indicating a presence, and he turned sharply, but a minute too late.
Jagged, decrepit teeth and outstretched boney fingers were all he saw before it fell in a heap on top of him momentarily stunning him. He was so suddenly thrusted into combat, he was shouting in his efforts to get it off, fighting to keep a good grip on its arms pinning them away from his person so he wouldn't be clawed. It kept trying to come at him with its mouth, snarling in his face. This fucker was heavy, and he was struggling to catch his breath still taking in the situation, as they fought at each other on the ground. Daryl managed to pull his leg up underneath and draw enough strength in him to lunge the beast backwards with the momentum of his boot. Too engaged in the moment, blood pumping furiously in his ears, he didn't realize his name being shouted in the distance. Still on the ground, he twisted his body reaching for his crossbow and propelled himself to his feet.
Arrow cocked and ready to fly, he turned hastily back around ready to slay his assailant when his heart leapt in his throat, and his blood ran cold.
Time seemed to slow, as he stared wide eyed and disbelieving at what he saw. Backing up slowly, as it continued to advance on him, his crossbow became heavier and heavier. His arms were starting to shake and his eyes welled up with a fresh onslaught of tears. Limping towards him, arms swinging lifelessly by its sides in the same clothes, long blonde blood-tinged hair in the same messy ponytail swaying behind with the effort of its movement was the source of his depression. The bullet hole in the top of her head seeming larger, bloodier and more offensive than he cared to remember. Daryl looked into her eyes, wishing it were the bright, hopeful blue eyes he had become used to, but they were a cloudy, murky gray filled with pus, and flecks of blood dispersed throughout. He slowly began to lower his weapon, face contorting into an ultimate expression of pain and despair, as he whimpered continuing to back up. "No...Please, don't..."
He couldn't shoot her. Wouldn't shoot her. He wanted to run to her and hug her, not even sure what he was seeing anymore. He slammed his eyes shut tight forcing teardrops to escape as he felt all strength leave his body at once.
Falling to his knees once more, head bowed, he gave up the fight.
There was an outcry of fright, and the sound of bodies colliding harshly and falling to the ground, scuffling. He heard the knife shattering open the skull of his would be killer imbedding into the brain, and the spraying of blood across the leaves on the forest floor. Panting heavily, his savior grunted from the effort of stabbing a second time in the walker's cranium abolishing what little there was left of its' head. He opened his eyes, looking up slowly, seeing that the body was that of a random walker. It wasn't her image anymore...Then noticing the trembling petite form of a woman on top of the body; he looked into the back of a familiar head of short salt and peppered curls.
Carol...
She couldn't believe it. Could not believe what she just saw. Almost witnessed. The tension was rolling off her in waves. How could he? How DARE he!? Just kneeling there surrendering himself to the impending catastrophe that he was allowing to happen!
Adrenaline was coursing through her entire system like she had never felt before making her whole being vibrate. The incredible amount of distress she was feeling was quickly turning to rage, and it felt overpowering, overwhelming! This goes beyond any nightmare she could have conjured up in her waking mind.
Enough was enough.
Turning sharply with enough force to snap her neck, Daryl paled as they made eye contact. Carol pushed herself to her feet forgetting the pain in her body, as she stomped furiously towards the broken man. Daryl recoiled as he watched the woman advance on him with a fury in her glassy eyes he had never thought she were capable of. That look pinned him to the floor with its intensity, and he actually started to feel threatened not knowing what she was going to do.
Carol reached him, and stunning them both, forcefully grabbed him by the fistfuls of the front of his shirt, and literally hoisted his entire body to his feet, with an unknown strength. She backed them up and pushed him violently against the nearest tree with enough force that some of the leaves fell in a flurry around them. He grunted at the brunt collision of his back hitting the bark, and stared wide eyed at the woman he'd always considered to be a gentle soul. Her face and partial of her hair had droplets of blood from the walker she'd just saved him from.
"ENOUGH! Enough of this Daryl, I've HAD it!" she screamed at him, making him flinch. It was loud enough to reach back to their camp, but neither of them could bother to care right now. The moment was too raw.
"Who the hell do you think you are!?"
"I...I don-" he tripped over his words.
"WHY do you think you have the right to be grieving this hard!? I get that you're feeling some form of guilt towards what happened, but this isn't fair anymore! This isn't fair to Maggie! Do you think she needs to see you day in, and day out suffering just as hard, or harder than she is!? That was her baby SISTER Daryl, her blood!"
She was panting heavy now, and the tears were falling from her eyes in steady streams pelting the ground beneath them. She didn't really mean to say all of these things, these words she had been feeling for a while, but dammit she felt her final thread of sanity snap the moment she saw him on his knees, head bowed, prepared to die.
"Why!? Why are you doing this? It wasn't your fault so stop blaming yourself; it was an accident!" She shook him to emphasize her point, squeezing hard into his shirt. "There was nothing you or any of us could have done to change what has happened!" He was rendered speechless as he let her words wash over him.
"You told me we get to start new, that we're not ashes. Have you forgotten? Or did those words mean nothing to you!" She released him pushing herself away from him angrily then. Her head was downcast, breaking eye contact, and she was trying to catch her breath.
"Those words... They meant the world to me" She uttered, the tone of her voice dropping greatly. She paused, her eyes shut tight in anguish.
"What about all of us? The horrors we've gone through, all the things we've had to do to survive? You don't think each of us has our own demons? Our own guilt?" Fists balled up tight at her sides. She was trying to stop what was coming next, but she felt so far gone at this point, what did it matter?
"What about me?" She nearly whispered, looking him straight in the eyes hoping he would see what her heart was trying to say. "I have been so worried about you to the point of tears because you have been pulling yourself away, punishing yourself. It's not just about you anymore Daryl. Stop thinking about yourself." He couldn't even think to breathe; her expression was filled with such sorrow he felt his heart falling to pieces. He wanted to reach out to her, but that wasn't an option at this moment.
"I've lost so much, you don't even realize..." She whispered shaking her head "you don't even know..." She took a step back, not being able to handle this anymore. "I told you, I can't lose you too..." He stopped breathing.
"When will you see?"
Without waiting for a reaction from him, she turned on her heel and rushed out of sight. He could hear her sobs as she became farther, and farther away retreating back towards the camp, and taking his heart with her.
The blood seemed to flow back into his body, and all the sounds of the forest returned with deafening volume. He had never seen her get so angry, and this was definitely the most emotionally involved he'd seen her get in a long while, remembering how she'd been while they were searching for Beth.
What was he to do now? He was left to face himself, his thoughts. The others. Her.
How would he face her?
As he watched her disappear into the night, he was turning over the one phrase in his mind that rattled him most, and had so many hidden meanings.
"When will you see?"
Michonne, and Carol walked along the sidewalk of one of the main streets; an adorable cooing baby Judith nestled lovingly in the samurai's arms. It was the day after everyone had gotten settled into their new homes, and she had to say, despite having that tiny meltdown in her room, the night followed without a hitch. She sent Daryl away saying she was fine, and took probably the longest shower of her life. They all tucked into their rooms exhausted that night, and slept like never before.
Smiles were on the two friends' faces as they strolled along just taking in the sights of residents bustling about around them.
Somewhere along the ways of the hospital, to their current breathing day, Carol and the warrior princess had become close. Often having huddled conversations during the night when one or the other couldn't sleep. Or sometimes not even speaking at all, as they would just sit together in random moments of downtime throughout the exhausting days, drawing comfort through the presence of the other. Their mutual love for Judith bringing them even closer. But there was a very real reason their friendship had blossomed so suddenly out of nowhere.
The fight between her and Daryl, if you could even call it that, had been nearing a week ago now. Nearly a week since everyone had witnessed her running back to the cabin sobbing uncontrollably. Nearly a week since her and Daryl had truly interacted. They had been avoiding each other after that, unable to really look the other in the eye, ashamed in their own ways. It was in that time of need that unexpectedly, it was Michonne that Carol had bonded with in inconceivable misery.
Now on this new day filled with hope, everyone was clean, fed, loosened up, and...
Happy.
They were all told to relax for a couple days to unwind, get used to the community. Then Douglas wanted to find them all 'occupations' so to say; as every resident played a part in keeping the safe zone afloat.
So everyone went their ways to do just that. Relax. While gathering information of any kind, of course.
The day so far was peaceful, and even the blue sky reflected it with the sun shining brightly, and not a cloud in sight.
"Amazing isn't it?" Michonne broke the comfortable silence. "All of these people seem so...unconcerned." Judith babbled cutely, reaching up to try and grab one of Michonne's braids that smacked her in the face. "It almost makes me angry," she continued, "thinking of how much we've had to go through, and they just don't seem affected by any of it." Her eyes were scanning the crowd trying to find the hole in this seemingly perfect bubble the town immersed themselves in.
"You can't think like that." Carol rested a delicate hand on her friend's arm reassuringly.
"All our endeavors until now would have been for nothing if you get on that train of thought, and we can't have that." She wavered, forming her next words.
"I think we may have ended up here for a reason, and we have to be thankful for our short-givings. We all seemed to reach that point of almost breaking, but I think maybe that's why we found this place when we did," She chuckled ironically, "or rather this place found us. It's to show us that we can't give up."
Michonne smiled at Carol, appreciating her wisdom. It was comforting to hear the older woman say that. That's why they all needed each other; comfort. Someone was always there, able to pull another back to stability if they felt like they were falling.
Michonne felt a prickling at the back of her neck, and looked up glancing around searching for the source of her sudden discomfort. Her eyes met a pair of deep blue slits among a crowd of men, and she smiled, glancing back at Carol to see if she noticed, but she hadn't.
They were being watched.
They continued on, passing by a couple of residents tending to what looked to be a beautiful crop garden. These people have done such a good job caring after it that the foliage was as tall as the two women, and they couldn't help but gape in wonder at the various produce nearly in full bloom. They watched as an elderly woman just finished plucking ripe tomatoes and placed them in an assorted basket that resembled one of those fancy gift baskets one would send for the Holidays. It was for Douglas, they overheard her saying as she passed it off to a gentleman that was helping her.
"I can't get a bad feeling from this Douglas guy either, at least not yet. Not with the way I did with the governor." she cringed, not wanting to stroll down that memory lane just yet. "That feeling was immediate."
"That's good," Carol consented. "Hopefully it stays that way."
They continued their stroll passing the garden. "These people really seem to respect him; I mean to even be throwing him this extravagant birthday party?"
"Oh my god!" Carol stopped walking, a hand flying to her mouth, and startling the other woman. "I had completely forgotten about that!" She exclaimed turning towards Michonne.
Michonne chuckled, shaking her head, "Mind occupied with other things?" she teased, but Carol ignored her.
That's right.
When Douglas had informed them of available housing units he had for them, she had blanked out, overloaded with envisioning the luxuries that awaited her aching body. She completely forgot of him inviting them to this celebration a couple days from now. Apparently the council members had originally wanted to throw him a surprise birthday party, but the information had inevitably been leaked and he found out. Not wanting to have attention centered on him, he changed it to make it more of a community gala just celebrating their success on making a life after death thus far. The town was looking forward to it, and was thoroughly excited.
"Perhaps...It could be just what everyone needs y'know?" They continued their walk. "Maybe we need to just thrust ourselves back into normalcy. It would be good for Carl, for him to be reminded that there's more to this life than survival, death and despair." Carol smiled at Michonne for being so concerned of the young man's state of being; it reminded her of how she would always worry for Daryl.
"This might also be good for Maggie." Carol said, and they looked at each other.
Might be good for you, too. Michonne added in silently.
Carol elaborated, "Poor thing has been stuck in this mourning process that even Glenn is having a hard time putting her back together, and understandably so, but I think it would be nice to have her relax even if for just one night. She deserves it."
"I agree..."
They walked on, a thoughtful silence falling between them. Each lost in their own heads for a moment.
"Y'know he did say they had dedicated a building completely to clothing apparel, knick-knacks, and various things found on runs." Carol turned her attention to the smirk growing on Michonne's face. There was a mischievous glint in her eye.
"What do you say we make a night of it?" she bounced Judith happily on her hip. "Girls night out. Get dressed up, makeup, do each other's haaair..." she trailed off in a sing-song voice.
Carol's mouth fell open, not really believing what the samurai princess was saying. "Are you serious!" she chuckled thinking Michonne might have actually lost it a bit, "Do you really think they're all going to go for that, especially Maggie?"
"Why not?" she shrugged, "It's just for one night." was her argument.
And with that, Carol was convinced.
It all seemed absurd with everything they've been through. The idea of enjoying themselves at a party, with food, drinks, possibly music, and dancing was just so far-fetched. But then again, she was just so emotionally drained that a bigger part of her was begging for this to happen.
She glanced back at Michonne, their eyes meeting. A large grin spread across Carol's face, and Michonne knew with that look, that they were going to be getting ready for ladies night.
As they rounded a corner, there was a man walking backwards waving bye to someone he was just conversing with. Michonne tried to warn her, but it was too late as Carol accidentally bumped into his back, momentarily stunning her. She staggered back a few steps, gasping.
"Oh!" The man turned quickly; ready to catch whoever he'd knocked into.
He grasped Carol by the arms to steady her, and was about to apologize when he froze looking into her eyes.
Michonne didn't like what she was seeing.
He was a decent looking man, perhaps nearing his mid-40s. He stood at about 5"11, light brown hair, graying near the roots. Deep brown eyes, with laughing lines at the corners, and light stubble dotting all across his jaw line. He had broad shoulders, and the shirt he was wearing pulled tightly across his muscled chest. The man was in good shape, and gave off an air of confidence, making him seem desirable. He no doubt, has no problems making the ladies swoon, and right now he seemed rather taken by Carol.
As he was motionless staring at Carol, Michonne finally got that feeling that had been missing since they arrived here.
The same feeling she got after meeting the Governor.
Carol was becoming uncomfortable, and Michonne had to clear her throat to break him out of his trance.
The man hadn't expected to turn around holding a beauty in his arms.
"Ah-I'm so sorry about that I should have watched behind me!" he released her. "Are you alright?"
She blushed, embarrassed by it all. "Yes, don't worry about it, it was my fault too." She fidgeted, tucking a hair behind her ear. This man wasn't afraid to stare, as his eyes bore into her appreciatively.
"Don't think I've seen you two ladies around here yet." He held out his hand. "I'm Clyde."
Carol reciprocated, grasping his hand lightly in hers "Carol."
"Carol..." He murmured seductively, and held her hand longer than was necessary, then turned to Michonne.
"And who might you be?" he held his hand out.
Michonne glared at him making it no secret that she wasn't having it, but since Carol was here and staring at her expectantly, she hesitantly reached for his hand. "Michonne."
He bowed turning her hand over, and bringing it to his lips placing a delicate kiss to the back of it trying to win her affection. She narrowed her eyes further at him immediately releasing her hand.
"Forgive me for being forward, but it's not every day we're graced with the arrival of beautiful new faces here. If there's anything you ladies need to help get you settled in, please let me know."
Carol thought for a minute, "Actually, we were just wondering where we can find the building that holds all the apparel that Douglas had mentioned." Michonne frowned in Carol's direction, not wanting her to engage in conversation with this man.
He turned his full attention to her, more than happy to help. "Of course, that's actually just back the way you came, a couple buildings down from the bank. Would you like me to show you?"
"No, that's alright. We were just wondering for later, thanks." She quickly shot him down before he got any ideas.
He seemed to be thinking about something for a moment. "Are you ladies by any chance attending the party taking place a couple days from now?"
Michonne tried to catch Carol's gaze to tell her to say 'no', but Carol knew there was no use in lying. He'd see them there anyway. "Yes, we'll be there with our family." She clarified.
He grabbed Carol's hand kissing it the same way he had done Michonne's. He made eye contact, and she wanted to pull her hand away, but it wasn't in her nature to be rude. "I look forward to seeing you both there." He released her hand slowly and took his leave passing the two women.
Michonne turned back around to find the eyes of the silent protector. He was there in the same spot among the group of men he was talking with, but his body was rigid, and his entire attention was completely fixed on the duo. He had watched the interaction unfold with narrowed hawk-like eyes.
She conveyed her message to him with her eyes that she didn't like what just transpired, and he nodded.
He would be keeping an eye on Clyde.
-I hope it's not too difficult to determine what parts are in the past and what parts are current.
-I got the idea for the interaction in the woods after seeing Daryl fall on his knees in that trailer for season 5B, or whatever.
Well, i hope this was okay and that most of you are still with me! I promise things are going to get good for all you die-hard Carylers, so stick around!
Um... talk to me, let me know how things are going so far! Reviews feed my soul XD
Please and thank you
