'Okay, this is awkward.' Dean thought, he was standing looking at Castiel in the embrace of some man he didn't know, he assumed his name was Balthazar since that was what Castiel called him. It left him wondering what an odd name that was, he had never heard or knew anyone who had that name. He stood there staring at the two men with a uncomfortable feeling in his chest and no matter how much he tried to ignore it, it didn't go away.
Oh crap Dean Winchester was jealous.
He closed his eyes and counted to 3, hoping it would help him calm down and for the feeling to go away but it remained as he silently cursed the man for interrupting.
"Dean! I'm so sorry, this is Balthazar, my brother." Castiel said, turning around while the man swung his arms around the shorter man.
"Oh, hey, I'm Dean Winchester, Cas's friend." He said to the man. He was trying to find a resemblance between the two but nothing clicked. Castiel had blue eyes and dark brown hair while the other man had dirty blond hair and lighter blue-grey eyes. They were the complete opposite and he wondered how they could be brothers.
"Nice to meet you Dean." Balthazar said, gripping Dean's hands tightly.
… He's British? Dean was officially confused but gave him a smile, "I should probably go and give you two sometime. See you around Cas." He said, pausing for a second while he looked at Castiel. Should he give him a hug like he always did or wave, it was awkward because his brother was there. He simply gave Cas a smile and a wave before making his way back home.
Balthazar chuckled before ruffling Castiel's hair, "Well, he's cute."
Castiel softly punched his arm and walked into the building quickly, trying to hide his growing blush. The two made their way up the stairs, talking aimlessly although the presence of his brother had made Castiel nervous and his palms sweaty. The atmosphere around them was no longer light and loving as it was before when Dean was there, it was constrained and almost suffocating. They finally reached Castiel's room before Castiel closed the door behind him and locked it before turning his attention to his brother.
"Alright Balthazar, how the hell did you find me and what the fuck do you want?' He said, the cheerfulness was gone and replaced with annoyance and anger. The usual cheerful emotion that was always plastered on Castiel's face was gone and replaced with one that was cold and on the brink of outrage.
"Cas, please just stop," Balthazar sighed, running his hands through his hair and sat down on the worn out couch, "I… I'm sorry, can you please just sit down?"
Castiel hesitated before slowly making his way towards the man and on the seat opposite him and taking a good look at him.
It had been so long since he saw Balthazar, he couldn't even remember how many years since he last saw him anymore. He looked tired, unlike the young Balthazar who was always grinning and laughing and making stupid jokes or annoying everyone with his sarcasm and wit the man in front of him looked tired and worn out. Age was starting to show physically on the man, there were wrinkles near his eyes and forehead that weren't there before but he was still a handsome man.
"I… I miss you Cas and… at first I didn't know why you left me Cas, fuck, I couldn't even sleep because of it. I missed my brother…" he gulped, trying to hold back the tears that were blurring his vision, "I missed my brothers Cas and I know you still blame yourself for his death but I couldn't figure out why you left, I mean, I was never the smart one so it took quite a while to figure out but now I get it. You've always had too much heart Cas, you cared so much about everything and everyone and when you made that fucking stupid deal… you pushed everyone away and just left… it was because you didn't want to hurt us right?" He said, looking at Castiel who wouldn't meet his eyes, his eyes fell to the ground as silence grew between the two men.
Balthazar was right but Castiel couldn't find his voice, he just stared at the ground while the silence grew even more and all they heard was the slight thumping of the floorboards upstairs and the ticking of the clock.
"Balthazar… I'm… You shouldn't be here… I don't want you to be there when I…" Castiel mumbled, his hands fidgeting with the frayed hem of his sweater, he jumped when he felt the other man's hands on his own and looked up to see the familiar face so close to his.
"If you cut all ties with us… then why were you going to kiss that Winchester guy?"
Castiel winced and looked down, he didn't know the answer himself. His excuse was that he had the right to be selfish just this once but each night before he fell asleep he knew he shouldn't pursue the relationship. He had hoped they were only going to be mere acquaintances but without him knowing it turned to something so else he had not wanted yet he longed for.
He liked Dean Winchester.
He liked him in a way that he had never liked anyone before and just being close to him had made him happy, his cheeks were always rosy and he felt butterflies in his stomach and even though he knew him only for such a short time there was a connection, like a profound bond. He knew he shouldn't. Castiel had come to this town to be alone and not make any strong connections, he didn't want to hurt anyone but here he was, rebelling against his own rules.
"I… I don't know," He whispered, barely finding the courage to answer Balthazar, "I don't want to hurt him Bal."
Balthazar pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him, something he had missed doing for so long. Tears had formed in Castiel's eyes, he tried to force them to go away but the soothing smell of Balthazar and how he rubbed his back had weakened him and the tears rushed out, wetting the Balthazar's shirt. He didn't mind nor did he care about the tear soaked patch on his shirt or how Castiel was clinging on to him so hard he almost couldn't breathe, it was good enough to have Castiel in his arms again and at that moment, that was all he cared about.
Dean had tried calling Castiel the next morning, wondering if he was feeling up for lunch but after missed calls he gave up. It was unusual for Castiel not to answer his phone but he brushed it off, he must have been spending time with his brother. Dean finished work earlier than expected, he was good with cars and the owner was pleased with him- he was quick, easy-going and didn't complain, so the owner adored him.
"Dean right?"
He turned around to see Balthazar emerging from the alley with a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth, "I'm Cas's brother, Balthazar."
"Oh yeah, hey, Is Cas with you?" Dean asked, trying to sound casual but was worried- he was hoping that the reason why Castiel didn't answer his phone was because he was with his brother.
"Oh, Cas's down ill so I'm just walking around town for a bit."
"Oh."
Balthazar took a long drag from his cigarette before blowing it out, "I can see you're wondering how Cas and I are brothers huh?"
"How did you know?"
"I'm good at reading people." Balthazar smirked, taking another drag before offering Dean some. Dean wasn't much of a smoker, he preferred alcohol but he didn't want to just stand there and seemed awkward, he wasn't sure why but he suddenly didn't know what to do with his hands- it was due to the fact that he found Balthazar's stare intense, he didn't know why.
"We're not related by blood. We lived in the orphanage and we became brothers, used to be the three of us but now it's just two," He said, dropping the cigarette on the ground and taking out another one, "Now you're wondering what happened."
"Y-You don't have to tell me, I don't want to intrude."
"Cas never told you?"
Dean paused, he had known Castiel for over a month, maybe even two but he never really talked about his family. Until now he didn't even know that Castiel lived in an orphanage, whenever the topic of family came up he diverted to another topic and Dean just shrugged it off. He was always curious but didn't want to press him for details- he didn't want to make him angry.
"It was me, Cas and Gabe or Gabriel and Anna. We all lived in the same orphanage and we became brother. You're wondering about the accent huh?" He chuckled and watched as Dean blush slightly in embarrassment, "My father was British and my mother was American, I lived in England for a bit before moving here and then my parents died, I didn't have anyone who would take me in so I ended up at an orphanage and because of that I always believed that the bond of blood is never as strong as the bond of love. Me, Cas, Gabe and Anna… strangely we were all the same age so when we turned 18… we left. We got what little we had, said fuck you to the orphanage and just left and man, it felt fucking amazing. Anna died a year after we left and Gabe died a year after her- we were 20, that was the trigger for Cas and he just left, took me a long time to find out why he left me."
Dean was silent, unsure of what to say. He was scared that he would sound to insensitive but he looked at Balthazar, "Why? Why did he leave you?"
Balthazar chuckled, "Cas always had too much heart Dean, he cared too much. He was devastated when Anna died and even more so when Gabe died, I guess he just didn't want to hurt me. He never really healed after Anna's death and when Gabe died... he wasn't the same, it's been 9 years and I still think he hasn't fully healed."
"But… how could he have hurt you? I don't understand… Would Cas get angry at you for telling me this? He never told me anything so I thought he wanted to keep it a secret or something."
"I wanted to tell you if I don't, you'll never know. I see something Dean, like I said, I'm very good at reading people and I know you care about him and he cares about you, probably more than you both know. I want my brother to be happy Dean, I think you can make him very happy."
Balthazar dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it before smiling at Dean, making his way out of the slightly damp alley, he paused and turned around, looking at Dean.
"Don't worry, you'll understand everything when it's time."
A/N: Hello everything hope you liked this chapter! I have holidays for about 2 weeks now so I'm quite happy, hopefully I'll be able to write more but then I have exams soon after the holidays end so I have to study, urgh. I always thought Balthazar was kind of a bad ass kind of guy so I pictured him smoking too, don't know why, I just did and I'm happy you guys liked that Balthazar is in the story, he's always been my favourite character and he's also Cas's brother in the old version of this story.
What did you guys think of this chapter? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Review please, reviews make me very, very happy haha, I love reading them and if you have any critiques please write them down just don't be plain mean. There's a difference between constructive criticisms and being plain old mean
Family-and-free-will: Thanks so much I'm happy you liked the Dean in this story and Balthazar and his bad timing ;)
LilyBot: Thanks again for the reviews I think you've reviewed all my stories actually so thanks sooo much. In the show Dean and Cas are sometimes pretty awkward so I wanted to put that kind of feeling into the story : )
LordPeanut: Woah, you said that you thought I was going to go with Gabe and BAM Gabe's also Cas's brother :O Hahaha and thanks chica, trying to update once a week but I'll see how that works out because of exams and shit.
Thanks again for reading, leave a review and until next time :D
Oh, if you're confused about the age, i'm making Cas and Balthazar 29 years old while Dean is 23 and Sam is 18- finishing his last year of high school. Anna died when she was 19 and Gabriel when he was 20, just wanted to make that clear just in case there is any confusion :)
xx
