This one isn't very long or eventful, but I figured I owed you all another chapter after yesterday's! Things are calming down now for a while, but don't you worry, the angst will return! :D
Enjoy!
Chapter 15
Unexpected
Fili
The work day, as expected, hadn't included any clients. Once Tauriel started working on people, Fili had become bored. He seized the opportunity though, and soon began working on doing some deep cleaning around the place and even took inventory and made a few phone calls. It was usually Legolas' job to take care of the more mundane things, but Fili helped him out, and it felt really good to do something productive for the first time in days.
Of course, fifty percent of the time had been spent thinking about Kili, ten percent about the chat he was going to have with Thorin, and the other forty was spent daydreaming of alcohol. Fili wanted a drink so badly that it was putting him in a somewhat foul mood, but when he'd think of Kili he was able to pull through. The brunette had faith in him, and Fili didn't want to let him down.
After arriving home from work, Fili found himself standing in the kitchen with Bilbo, as per usual. It felt to him like they spent more time in there than in their sitting room, but it sort of made sense. Everyone in that family definitely loved food.
"Your father is home," Bilbo spoke, looking up at Fili from the onion he was cutting. He appeared to be making some sort of sauce, and the blonde had a feeling it was going to be a marinara for the steaks. He nearly cheered in delight. "He's just freshening up, and then he'll be right down. Are you going to talk to him?"
"I don't have a choice, do I?" Fili sighed, walking towards the sliding glass door that led out back. "Let him know I'm waiting for him out on the porch swing.
It was almost 5:00, and Fili couldn't help but notice how gorgeous the backyard looked this time of day. The last couple hours before sunset always cast long shadows across the grass, and gave the yard a sort of glow that it never had during the earlier hours of the day. Because of this, the porch swing was his favorite place to sit in the whole house, whether it be to think, talk, or just let his mind go blissfully numb. Like usual, he took his shoes and socks off and stuck his toes in the grass, smiling at the soft, calming texture.
"You wanted to talk, son?"
Fili turned to see Thorin walking outside, closing the door behind him. He looked tired, as if he'd had a very long day at work, and he had changed into some lounge pants and a tee shirt.
Nodding, Fili scooted over to make room for the older man, the chair swinging to and fro as they settled down. He could hardly look at Thorin, his nerves suddenly taking him by surprise, closing off all use of his mouth and throat. He couldn't even swallow around his fear of the way the elder would react. Sure, Bilbo had taken it fairly well, but he was a bit more grounded of a person. Despite Thorin's strong and powerful, masculine nature, he was the more emotionally unbalanced of the two.
"I-I.. I wanted to apologize. For my recent behavior," he eventually stuttered out after taking a deep breath. "I know I've been scarce lately, and when I have been around, I've been none too pleasant. So I'm sorry."
Thorin seemed to consider Fili's words for a moment, and then leaned back on the swing, giving the youth a questioning look. "It's alright, Fili. I only wish to know what had you acting that way. It seemed like there was something wrong, and we all wanted to help you, but you were like a wild animal - you wouldn't allow any of us to come near you."
A million excuses came to Fili's mind, but he didn't dare test them. Bilbo already knew, after all. There was no way he could lie now, so he opted for the direct approach. Quick and painless, like a band-aide. He pretended to be interested in a lady bug that was crawling in the grass, to buy himself some time, but knew it couldn't last long.
Eventually he mumbled, "I relapsed."
It was like Bilbo all over again, only a thousand times worse. Both of them held their breath for a long time, and it was over half a minute before the blonde built up the courage to look at the man who had raised him. And when he did, he regretted it.
Thorin was as white as a sheet of paper, mouth hanging open slightly, and his hands were clenched into fists where they rested on his thighs. Fili honestly couldn't tell if he was sad, shocked or angry, but thought that perhaps it was a mixture of all three, although, one thing was completely obvious: unlike Bilbo, Thorin hadn't even suspected that a relapse had been the cause of Fili's recent behavior.
Fili was on the verge of going back inside, uncomfortable in the midst of such a heavy silence, when Thorin finally spoke. "Why?"
A shake of his head was all Fili could give in response.
"Son, tell me why."
"I really can't, Thorin," he whispered, burying his face in his hands.
"And why is that?"
"It's personal," came Fili's muffled reply. "It's not something I want to discuss, and it was really, really stupid, but I promise I'm going to get better now. It's not nearly as bad as before, and I have even more support than I did the last time, since Legolas knows and Kili said he'll help. I'm going to be alright."
There was another short silence, and then Fili was pulled into the arms of his father. His dam of emotions broke for the second time that day, sending a wash of tears down his face. Fili didn't usually spend a lot of time crying, but he was coming to terms with it, understanding that it made him feel better to do so, rather than bottling up all of his feelings and inevitably choking on them. That only resulted in pain on everyone's part.
"I trust that you will," Thorin spoke, running a large, comforting hand over Fili's long hair. "You will fight this demon, Fili, and you will win. You, me and all the other people in your life will see to that."
Pulling back, Fili nodded, giving Thorin a watery smile. The older man still looked very upset, and Fili could tell he was holding back, but he was just grateful for the self-control Thorin was showing. The first time he'd found out about Fili's alcohol addiction hadn't gone quite as well.
"Thank you for understanding, father," he mumbled, leaning in to give Thorin another quick hug."
"I'm glad you had the courage to tell me," the elder smiled. "Now, go and wash up for dinner. It'll only be a couple of hours until it's ready."
"That's a long time to wash up."
"Sure, but you smell like a wet goat."
"I do not!" Fili exclaimed, trying not to laugh. He was so relieved by the lightening of the discussion that he couldn't possibly hold back his happiness. "I smell perfectly normal!"
"As normal as any other farm animal," Thorin snorted, giving the blonde a playful nudge.
Fili laughed and held his hands up in surrender, standing up. "Fine. I'll go."
He dashed back inside and up the stairs, laughing to himself as he went. Even though Thorin had been teasing him, Fili really had been pretty grimy when he'd gotten home, after all of the sweating he'd done that day.
He stopped by the bathroom to hop in the shower and rinse off, and then wrapped the towel around his waist, pulled his hair back in a low bun, and padded down to his bedroom, leaving a small, wet trail behind him. When he pushed the door open, he was pleasantly surprised to find a sleeping Kili in his bed.
Fili studied the brunette's unmoving figure as he pulled on some underwear and sweatpants and discarded the towel into his dirty laundry basket. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to the sight of the younger boy sleeping in his bed - molasses hair spilling wildly across the pillows, a slight flush to his tanned skin, and his mouth hanging slightly open.
Knowing there was still at least and hour and a half until dinner would be done, Fili couldn't resist crawling into bed with the brunette. All the walking he had done, alongside his confessions and the hangover that was still clutching to his head, had left him feeling exhausted. He pulled back the blanket and curled up next to Kili before pulling the bedding back up and over the both of them.
All the movement caused Kili to wake up, blinking tiredly. "Fee?"
"Hey," he whispered, pulling the brunette closer, in order to steal some of his body heat. Kili allowed it to happen and came to rest his head on the blonde's chest.
"How was your talk with Thorin?" Kili asked, letting his eyes fall shut again.
"Okay," Fili sighed, wrapping his arm around Kili. "He didn't react well, but he didn't react as badly as I thought he might. Everyone has been incredibly supportive today."
"That's because we all love you," Kili mumbled, "and we all want to see you get better."
Those simple words brought the biggest smile to Fili's face, and he gave Kili a squeeze before letting his eyes also fall shut.
Bilbo
Bilbo hummed under his breath as he plopped four steaks into freezer bags and put them in the fridge to marinate. He, of course, hadn't been able to stop thinking about his eldest boy all day, but cooking helped distract him, which was more than welcome.
Thorin was still sitting outside, and it had been over half an hour since he and Fili had finished talking. Bilbo was slightly worried about his husband, knowing how upset he'd been the last time Fili had gone through this, but also was aware that the man needed some time alone, and he respected that. He would come inside when he felt ready.
It was another hour before Thorin made his way in. The sun was beginning to set, and Bilbo had just finished all the prep for dinner and had started cooking the corn and potatoes.
"Our boy," was all Thorin said.
"I know," Bilbo replied.
Thorin sighed and slid onto a stool, propped his elbows on the counter, and rested his chin on one palm, a tired look on his face. It made him look ten years older than he was. "I just wish there was something I could do to help him."
Bilbo turned around to face Thorin, only the space of the counter separating them. "You can give him your love and support, which I believe is very helpful. Yes, inevitably he will have to quit on his own, but it would be a lot harder without anyone to back him up or catch him when he slips."
"I guess you're right."
Bilbo chuckled. "Of course I am! Now, how about you go fire up the grill and cook these steaks," he said, gesturing towards a platter that held the bagged-meat.
"You're the chef."
"Don't play dumb with me, Thorin." Bilbo rolled his eyes, pushing the steak towards the disgruntled man. "I know you haven't a clue how to work the oven, but you've never had problems with the grill."
Thorin didn't bother responding and instead shook his head, laughing quietly at his partner's fiery attitude, and went back outside with the steaks in hand.
It didn't take Thorin long to cook the meat, and Bilbo was just taking the vegetables off of the stove when he traipsed back inside.
"Here," the shorter man said, setting an empty bowl in front of Thorin, on the counter. "I've already set the table, so mash the potatoes in here, and keep an eye on the gravy. If it starts to bubble, turn off the stove. I'm going to go get the boys."
"Yes, Master," Thorin groaned, moving to do as he was told.
Bilbo shook his head and left the kitchen, soon making his way up the stairs. He hadn't heard a peep from either of the boys since Fili had gone upstairs, and he was a little bit curious to see what was keeping them so entertained. Ordinarily he couldn't go for longer than twenty minutes without being bugged by at least one, if not both, of them.
Since Kili's room was the first one, he tried that door before Fili's. It was hanging wide open, so he marched inside, only to find it completely empty. He should've known.
Grumbling nonsense under his breath, the small man walked diagonally across the hall. Feeling there was no reason for him to knock, he opened the door and stepped inside the homey room. What he found was unexpected.
Fili and Kili were tangled together under a mound of blankets, clearly sleeping. Normally it wouldn't have seemed unusual, like they were just taking a nap, but the position they were in said something different; They were wrapped together like lovers, Kili's head resting on Fili's bare chest. Even through his shock, Bilbo felt bad for having to wake them. They looked so peaceful, especially Fili, who had a relaxed smile lingering on his lips.
Bilbo cleared his throat and knocked loudly on the door, waking the boys. He then squeaked, "Dinner's ready," in a very shrill voice, before turning on his heel and hurrying quickly back down the stairs.
"Thorin! Thorin!" he exclaimed, bolting into the kitchen.
"What?" Thorin looked up from the bowl of potatoes, concern glinting in his eyes.
"Fili….F-Fili and Kili - the boys," he panted.
"Yes. Go on…"
"I think they're… together," Bilbo spoke with wide eyes.
"What do you mean?" Thorin asked, setting the potato masher down to give Bilbo his full attention.
"I mean they're sleeping together!"
"WHAT?"
"Not like that. I mean, literally, they were sleeping in the same bed when I went up there."
Thorin broke into a relieved grin. "You worry too much. There's nothing wrong with them sharing a bed."
"But they were so close! Kili was practically on top of Fili."
"It happens."
"Fili had no shirt on!"
"He's a young man. They never wear proper clothing."
"Thorin!"
"Bilbo!"
"It's not normal."
"Sure it is."
"Maybe for children. They are grown men."
Thorin's response faltered on his lips, because the two boys in question made their entrance at that point. They both looked completely normal, if not a bit groggy, and Fili had even put on a tank top.
Thorin shot his husband a smug look.
"Uhm.." Bilbo cleared his throat awkwardly. "You two go settle in. We will bring the food out."
They grumbled their consent and headed towards the dining room. Meanwhile, Bilbo turned and gave Thorin one last, serious look. "You'll see, Thorin Oakenshield. Just you wait!"
Comments, Suggestions?! They make me happy! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I'd love to know what you all think. Thank you so much for reading!
