Chapter 2

"Thoughts"

Dreaming

"Speaking"

Screaming

"Dream dialogue"

Just a nightmare my ass. It has been a week since that first one and I haven't had a decent night's sleep since. I'm running on an average of 3 hours of sleep with mulipual, panic-attack inducing incidents every night. I'm beginning to wonder just how long I'm going to last, after all the human body isn't built for this. At least I've finally managed to stop screaming out loud so as to not wake everyone else up and worry them, now I'm not keeping everyone up all night. Unfortunately, that also means I've become rather dependent on caffeine as of late in my attempts to keep myself going.

I still don't remember much of what's happening in the dreams, but I am remembering more now, other than just the feeling of being absolutely terrified. Pain is present almost every time, both physical and emotional I've discovered, and sadness shows up a lot too. I shudder at the thought that some people have gone through things like this.

Oh well, there's not a lot I can do about it other than seeing a shrink, or doctor, or somethin' like that and I doubt that would do me any good. I mean, what could they tell me that I don't already know? Nothing, well ok they could probably come up with somethin' but it wouldn't be useful so why bother? Ah damn, I'm ranting again. Maybe I have finally gone nutso, at this point it wouldn't surprise me. I quickly cut off that train of thought before I could start back up again in another internal debate that really only leads to a headache. With a yawn and a rub to the eyes, I set out to finish the math assignment I was attempting to do.

It wasn't going well. It was just a worksheet, but I could hardly even focus enough to even read the problem. Damn it, I'm just going to bed. Maybe if I go to bed early I can catch a little more sleep, I snorted a little at that thought, Well I can get some more rest at least, which I could really use. With another yawn, I crawled into bed and pulled the blankets around me. Reaching over to snuggle with my favorite stuffed animal, a moose I got for my birthday last year, I readied myself for another long night.

"How could you!"A young, blue haired man was currently brandishing a knife at another man, one with black hair. They were at the edge of the river bank, the second man dangerously close to falling in. "I thought we were friends you bastard!" My attention was drawn back from the scenery to the blue haired youth, who appeared to be the one yelling. "What the hele are you talking about Houjun?" The other replied, glancing uneasily back at the swirling water behind him. "You know what I'm talking about-" Houjun cut off the rest of his sentence as the land beneath the still unnamed man gave way and he fell backwards, towards the river. "No!" Houjun cried, dropping the knife and grabbing his friend's hand.

Suddenly it wasn't the young man he was trying to pull up, it was me. My feet were already soaked by the still rising river as the flash flood caused the river to rise even higher and I couldn't suppress the feelings of terror and panic that gripped me. Out of nowhere a log appeared, hitting Houjun and causing him an extreme amount of pain. I felt his grip loosen as he stumbled forward, my body sliding into the raging river. I saw the look of horror etched on his face as our hands slid apart and I became fully submerge in the water, it dragging me down away from the surface and knocking me into a large rock. "I'm sorry Houjun, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, wake up no da."

Huh? Say what now? I roused slowly, blinking away my sleep as I finally realized what had just happened. Someone had shaken me away. When I was in my room. Alone. Crap. I looked around slowly, my eyes attempting to adjust to the light shining in through the curtains. What the . . .. Came the startled thought as I realized that no one else was in the room. My eyes quickly found the door, which was still shut. So if no one is in here, and no one left, who woke me up?

Flinching at the strain sitting up caused, I absently rubbed my shoulder where it had been bashed into a rock during my ride down the riv-er? Wait a minute, I remembered this one! I remember all of it! Houjun, the river, falling in said river, th- woh wait a minute, FALLING IN THE RIVER! Holy shit, I just died in my nightmare. DIED! I freaken DROWNED! WHAT THE HELL! I must have looked freaked out cause when my little sister walked in she asked what was wrong. I ignored her, which wasn't all that unusual, and went to get some breakfast. Hah! Don't cha just love my priorities, I find out I just dream died so I go get some food. Oh well, I guess it's a good thing I never claimed to be normal because I defenatly just blew THAT term out of the water.

After I smuggled some crackers out of the kitchen, I set out to finish that math worksheet from last night. It was due tomorrow after all and I had only done two problems out of twenty. Fun. Sighing, I looked down at the offending piece of paper. Exponents, great, I just love to fry my brain in an attempt to understand this crazy logic.

After all, it's just another day in my "favorite" Hell