A/N: Working 12 hour shifts is hard at my age. I have the rest of this story mapped out now, so whenever I have time to type out another chapter, I will. Once I start a chapter, I feel compelled to finish it. That requires more than a couple of free hours, so that's my excuse for my snail's pace on updates.
Disclaimer: This is a future A/U fic using the wonderful characters conceived and nurtured by Andrew W. Marlowe and his team at ABC. I am just borrowing them.
Martha and Rick ended their hug and returned to the important task of preparing dinner. The food was delicious and the conversation light and humorous with Ian as the center of attention. When Ian pleaded with his parents to spend the night with Gram and Alex, he was promised the next night would be his chance. The adults made plans for the next day, loaded the sleepy boy in his car seat and said their goodbyes.
As Rick and Kate prepared for bed, Rick told Kate about the conversation with his mother. Kate's brow furrowed, and she took a deep breath. "Babe, I know I'm the minority opinion on this, but are you truly comfortable with Martha marrying Alex? I know we talked after he bought the cabin, but I still remember the Gemini case. He still frightens me a little."
Rick sat on the edge of the bed with one sock in his hand. He looked at Kate with so much love, she could feel her own heart glow. "Let's get ready for bed, and then I'll tell you about the private conversation I had with my Dad that weekend in the Hamptons. I didn't just let him back into our lives without an intense discussion. My family is always my preeminent priority."
Kate nodded her assent. Once they finished their preparations for bed, Rick donned his robe, picked up the baby monitor and motioned Kate towards the door. "I think your Dad and Ian are both out for the night. Let's grab a couple of sodas and take this discussion out to the dock deck. If Ian needs us, we can be back up here in a flash."
"There's lemonade and tea in the fridge if you prefer that to soda. This is one time, I wish there was wine available here," Kate smiled slightly as she spoke and grabbed her robe.
They settled in the chairs on the screened deck that was attached to the dock. Rick took a long drink from his glass of lemonade, set it on the table next to him and turned to face Kate, "That weekend when Dad came to the Hamptons with his plan to move here, he and I found some moments alone to talk. You were bathing Ian and Mother had fallen asleep on the sofa. Dad and I went out to the sunroom for some privacy. As soon as he sat down, I brought up Gemini and the fears about him that I had…" Rick gave Kate a detailed retelling of that conversation, like he was writing a scene in a book:
"Alex, that day in the library gave me doubts about the man that you are. Why am I expected to trust you? You slipped a bug in my pocket with the ruse of giving me a hug. You used Kate and I to find your target, you put our lives in danger and you killed a man in cold blood. Blaine was a traitor, but he was still entitled to his day in court. What kind of person does all that? How do I trust you around the most important people in my life?"
"Richard, throughout the millennia warriors have been celebrated: Centurions, Samurai, Knights, Ninja, Soldiers, even police officers and spies. People need to be protected from power-hungry despots, terrorists, other countries, criminals, the list is endless. Our country is constantly at war, but very few are even aware of it. Only when they feel the need, do the national newscasts cover the war against terrorists or the skirmishes that pop up around the world. There are wars going on around the world that no news channel in the US ever reports. People die for their beliefs, their honor, their homes and family, their countries every minute of every day," Alex started his defense. He took a pause to formulate his next points for this fight. "You love the books of Ian Fleming. Those books have sold millions of copies. The movies make tens of millions of dollars. It's entertainment and the body count is always high with wild chases and spectacular explosions. Real spies try to keep the body count low, try to remain hidden and spare the common man any knowledge of what we do to protect him. The grim reality of what it takes to maintain our freedom and safety is never on the news. People don't want to know. Even you, after all your years shadowing the CIA and the NYPD, even you don't want to know."
Rick tried to form a response, but Alex continued, "I chose to involve you and Kate in the Gemini case, because I had no backup, because I knew I could trust you, and because I wanted to see you. Once Ted was killed, I realized my adversary was more ruthless than I expected a government analyst to be. I knew I needed help, and I knew you and Kate are a remarkably capable team. It was vitally important that the list that Blaine had not get in the hands of our enemies. Hundreds of agents' lives were in danger. Their deaths could have resulted in the deaths of thousands more people."
When Alex paused, Rick asked the question that was central to his doubts, "How can you kill someone with no compunction?"
"The first few jobs I did for the CIA, I had a partner. The jobs went smoothly, and no lives were lost. I proved my worth and showed some resourcefulness, so I was sent on more dangerous missions. The first time I had to kill someone, the life of my partner was in jeopardy. Even knowing that I had to save my partner, my reaction to having killed someone was to vomit," Alex responded. "I don't have a number for how many people I have killed or wounded. It's never easy, but I did what I had to do." Alex sighed, "When I met your mother, I had finished a sensitive assignment. I allowed myself a night at the theater as a reward for completing my mission and staying alive. When the mission had some unexpected twists later in the night, leaving your mother behind was torture. Your mother told me that you are the real love of her life. She is the love of mine, but knowing that you were alive, that I had a son; that gave me a deeper incentive to do my job in order to keep you and your mother safe, not just the faceless millions of Americans I don't know. I was in too deep to live a happy life with you and your mother. All I could do was my job, and catch a glimpse of you, your mother and later Alexis whenever I could."
Rick pondered his father's words for a few moments with the muffled crash of the waves the only sound. "Kate shot the man who killed her mother, even though he had the information she needed to find out who paid to have Johanna Beckett killed. She shot him to save me. We weren't even dating yet, but she didn't hesitate. She shot him, and then she cried. I tortured the driver of the van involved in Alexis' kidnapping. I would have done anything to save her." Rick paused again, "When I was a child I imagined who you were. In my imagination you could be anyone, even the man who invented whipped cream." Rick smiled at his father, "I'm going to imagine you as Harry Tasker and that all the people you killed were bad."
Alex smiled at Rick's movie reference, "I actually saw that movie." Alex turned to look into Rick's eyes, "Very few people live the life I have and survive to retirement. That may be why my retirement pay is so good." Alex and Rick both chuckled. "I hoped that we could have a relationship one day. I dreamed of a life with your mother, with a family. I believe those dreams and desires are what kept me alive, in a world where most men die or choose to disappear. I'm only asking for a chance to be with my family and have a normal life while I still breathe. If I ever think my presence is a danger to any of you, I'll disappear."
After recounting that conversation to Kate, Rick reached for her hand. "He's my father, Kate. He served our country for over 50 years. I believe he's earned some happiness. My mother loves him. Maybe the third time is the charm for her, too."
Kate smiled at him, raised his hand and kissed his knuckles. "Let's go to bed. Aren't you going fishing tomorrow?"
