Disclaimer; This fanfiction uses existing ideas, characters and or worlds, but is an independent work of art. I own nothing, hence the reason for publishing my writings here instead of in real books where I could make some money.
-Groan-
Ranma was not what one can call a morning person. Not by a long shot.
Sure, he was normally up at the wee hours of the morning every day for as long as he could remember, and maybe even longer, but rarely on his own volition. The main reason was that if he didn't immediately shake off the effects of wonderful, blissful sleep, he would get pounded by his father who would then complain about how much of a weak girl he had become after being allowed the privilege of sleep.
Slowly elevating his torso onto his elbows, Ranma rubbed the crust from his eyes, contemplating the dream he had just had, and wondered why his fool of a father had let him sleep in for once.
He had changed into a cat-man, a short one at that, with a tail, without his pigtail and without most of his hair. But he had been covered in black fur.
It had seemed so real.
His hand absently rubbed his chest where the spell had struck him in this dream, and his sleep-disillusioned world came crumbling down about his triangular ears.
There was fur on his chest … and there was a big hole in his shirt! Kasumi would not be pleased … she had given him this shirt for his birthday a little over a week ago. And judging by the burnt edges, it was not possible to salvage it.
"Damn," muttered Ranma flatly. "I really liked that shirt …"
There was nothing to be done about it, so there wasn't any reason to get upset. Things had a way of balancing things out, one way or another.
In Nerima, a small, broken, dirty and bruised form crawled along the gutter.
Happosai had never been on the receiving end of such a beating.
Sure, he had inflicted similar damage in his fights, but never gotten beaten this bad himself. Even with his extreme healing ability, a result of over two centuries of being a top calibre Martial Artist, was not cutting it. If he didn't receive medical attention soon, he might be crippled for life.
Happosai spotted an emergency telephone on a telephone pole not more than a few steps away, and his eyes lit up in hope of relief from the agony of a punctured lung, a splintered femur, concussion, a broken clavicle and the loss of a few good teeth.
He dragged himself towards the telephone, and was nearly within reach when a motorised street sweeper appeared out of nowhere and washed him down an open manhole into the sewers.
The scream of despair was drowned out by the loud engine of the sweeper.
The operator of this machine was coincidentally thinking about complaining to his supervisor about the possibility of reduced hearing from all this noise.
Sigh.
The owners would most likely only give him a set of headphones connected to a radio instead of getting the engine overhauled … and when would people stop throwing garbage on the streets? That big broken teddy bear was lucky to fit into the manhole … had it been any bigger, he'd have to get out and stuff it down by hand!
Elsewhere in Nerima, Tatewaki Kuno, strapped to a hospital bed under heavy police supervision, broke his last healthy bone, the outer bone of his pinkie finger, in an attempt to call for assistance in using the facilities. A loud scream was the result, causing quite a few stitches to be ripped open.
The Head doctor of the hospital sighed in resignation. The rich, spoiled boy had been in here a few times in the past few years, but never as serious as this.
It almost made him regret losing his temper for a moment after hearing about Ranma's death and forget to give the brat any pain relievers for the painful procedure of setting all his bones and stitching him up … almost.
Meanwhile, Ranma was finishing his examination of his new body.
He was shorter.
He was part cat.
He had longer canines, which was a strange term for something a feline possesses, and believed his speech might be hindered somewhat by it. After he spoke a few test sentences, he discovered that this was not so … they didn't affect anything by what he could tell.
The pads on his hands and feet robbed him of some degree of sensitivity, but that didn't bother him much. The fingernails seemed normal enough, until he had tensed some new muscles he had felt in his fingers. This had caused the fingernails to shoot out over an inch from the tip of his fingers, and sharpened into claws.
His ears could rotate ninety degrees from his head, unless he got upset about something, in which case they would rotate nearly a hundred and eighty degrees and flatten against his head.
Sticking out of a tear in his pants just below the waistline of his behind was a tail slightly longer than his legs. At first he thought it would get in his way, but some testing showed that he had as much control of it as an elephant has over its trunk, and he opted to curl it about his waist like a furry, fat belt.
A few practice kata revealed that nothing of his strength had disappeared with this transformation despite the slimmer build. Rather the opposite. He felt stronger, more flexible and faster. But if he wanted to look stronger again, he would have to eat more, and train harder. Not that he really felt he needed to, but he had been somewhat proud that his exposed torso drew more than a few stares … growing up with Genma meant so very little positive attention, so he savoured it where he got it.
His bones, from what he could feel, seemed much more resilient than before.
But this was not the time to lose oneself in to ones thoughts. He was in a strange place and needed to figure out where he was and how to get back. The old ghoul was bound to know something that might change him back … but there might be a price … one he was not willing to pay … his freedom.
Taking in his surroundings, Ranma found that he was in a stone chamber, lit by burning torches. He felt like he was in a dungeon of some kind, but the markings on the walls reminded him of the hieroglyphs he had seen in school books … how on earth did he end up in a pyramid?
Behind him was a very tall set of double doors made out of heavy stone, leading to a corridor.
Not wanting to remain cooped up in here, Ranma exited the chamber to explore.
Elsewhere in the same structure, six supernatural and evil entities were sitting around a fire that was powered by one of their number.
These infamous, evil villains imprisoned by the Dragon Orb, released briefly by a treasure hunter then recaptured by the Dragon Pharaoh with the power of the Dragon Orb. At least, these were some of those villains …
Fuelling the fire was Salamander, a burning skeleton of a man wearing armour.
-Phhhht!-
"Hey!" cried Salamander indignantly, "Stop trying to blow out my flame!"
Teasingly trying to blow out Salamander's fire was Shadow Reaver. Half man, half goat, strong, big, and a complete coward.
Snickering- er –laughing in a manly tone at the antics of the two was Maelstrom, a powerfully built man in need of a nose, who wore a helmet with bulls' horns at the sides. He was the sneaky one.
Rolling their eyes at the stupidity of the assembled men were Sith and Malis, the only females of the group.
Sith looked very much like an Egyptian Queen, complete with serpent on her head dress, and spoke with a pronounced lisp- er –hiss.
Malis looked like a bowman out of Robin Hood that had been burned on only one half of her body, the left … it made her look somewhat like the sister of a certain Gotham lawyer gone bad.
These two were sexually repressed as well. Sith would not touch any of the men in this place with a hundred foot snake. Malis was willing, but her appearance turned the men away. And it had been eons since they last had gotten any. One could therefore excuse them for having a tendency for snapping at people.
Sitting patiently by himself a few steps away from the group was Behemoth. A large muscular man of stone, and the man barely had any face to speak of. He only had the definition of cheek-bones, brows and eyes. The rest was a rocky mass.
"When will you men grow up?" snapped Sith. "You know we can't hurt each other becaussse of that ssstupid Dragon Orb'sss hold on usss! Ssshadow Reaver, ssstop trying to blow out Sssalamander'sss fire, it isss getting annoying!"
"But there's nothing else to do!" whinged Shadow Reaver and sulked silently to himself with both women glaring at him.
"I know what we can do for fun!" exclaimed Maelstrom.
"NO!" yelled the women in answer, already knowing what the man would suggest, him having suggested it a million times since they were let out of their chambers a few months ago. Malis only responded out of spite. The last time she had offered herself up, the men had almost literally run for it in horror.
"C'mon! It's been eons since I've been with a woman!"
"NO!"
"C'mon!"
"NO!"
"I wouldn't mind a bit!" responded Shadow Reaver, only to be silenced by yet another glare. "Fine, I'll go for a walk, then …"
Shadow Reaver got to his feet and left the circle.
"Ruin all my fun, will you," he grumbled to himself as he moved down the corridor.
-Sniff!-
"What's that smell?"
-Sniff!-Sniff!-
"It seems very familiar … a bit catty … almost makes me think of that insane-"
Shadow Reaver's already protruding eyes widened in fearful realisation.
"CAT!" he screamed, and turned tail back for the others.
Ranma was still exploring the seemingly endless number of corridors when he heard someone scream out "CAT!" much like he would have done not too long ago if faced with one of them.
Curious, Ranma followed the direction he meant the sound came from, as sound easily bounced off these walls and confused the senses.
If there were people here then he might be able to get back sooner!
Meanwhile, Shadow Reaver had reached his comrades … or rather, stumbled over Behemoth and crashed over Salamander who along with him rolled over the two women.
This brought on a great deal of assumptions of perversion, but was quickly drowned out by Shadow Reaver's cries of "CAT! THERE'S A CAT HERE!"
Immediately, the others were on their feet, alert and peering around the corner Shadow Reaver had come sprinting from, one leaning in over the other to see if that crazy mortal cat-lady had come back with those strange and terrifying weapons.
Ranma walked down the hall, and noticed six individuals standing at the corner and was peering around it, much like the nephews of the cartoon character Donald Duck would when looking for any authority figures out to catch them in the act of something.
Curious, Ranma approached them, and tapped the stone man on the back.
"What are you looking at?" he asked, placing himself to peer around the corner as well.
"Shadow Reaver smelled a cat a moment ago, and we want to know if that crazy b#& cat-woman with those blasted weapons has returned," the stony man answered in a voice that sounded like gravel being ground together. The man didn't even look at him, not daring to remove his eyes from the corridor the group was searching for signs of movement.
"Oh?" asked Ranma, perking up at the news that there was someone else out there that was part cat … apart from Shampoo. "What does this cat-woman look like?"
"Somewhere between six and seven feet tall, long blonde hair with spots, cats' ears, a black stripe over one eye, and an admittedly sweet bod," the burning man answered mechanically, also not daring to remove his concentration from where it was focused from the second highest position in the totem of bodies.
"What kind of weapons?" asked Ranma, wondering what kind of weapons would scare these people, and since they seemed to want to answer his questions, well, that just suited him fine.
"The kind that erupts in flames and the kind that stings like a hive of angry bees," answered the one with bulls' horns on his helmet.
"Yesss," agreed the woman with the strange head dress. "Ssshe hasss been here two timesss already, and each time we have been badly injured."
"WAIT!" screamed the one with a goat's head in panic. "THE SMELL IS CLOSER! I CAN SMELL IT!"
The others whimpered in fear of future pain, and Ranma was genuinely worried for them.
"RUN FOR IT!" screamed the woman who looked like a bad burn victim.
The others agreed that this was the best idea, and footed it in the opposite direction, sweeping Ranma with them unintentionally.
"IT'S FOLLOWING US! FASTER!" screamed the goat man and increased the tempo, which caused the others to speed up as well so they wouldn't end up as fodder for the nefarious designs of the maniacal cat-woman.
Ranma came to the conclusion that this woman must be very dangerous if these people were this frightened of her, so Ranma kept up with them without difficulty, deciding to keep these people safe from what sounded like a mad bomber and gun-nut in one.
"IN HERE!" screamed the lisping woman as they reached a certain spot. "SSSHE WILL NEVER FIND USSS IN HERE!"
The seven of them piled into the small and dark room with a crack only big enough to peek out of, and closed the door.
For a full minute, everyone tried to calm down from the panic, and nothing but panting was heard.
"Has it gone?" asked the stone man.
"I can't tell," answered the lisping woman who had her eye pressed up against the crack.
"The smell followed us all the way!" whimpered the goat man.
"Can you see anything?" asked the man with the horned helmet.
"I already sssaid no!" snapped the lisping woman. "Maybe we lossst it?"
"We can't have! That thing was right on our tails!" whimpered the goat man, slowly slipping back into panic.
"EEEEK! PERVERT!" -Slap!-
"What?"
"You squeezed my-"
"Hey, who's the new guy?" asked the burned woman, cutting off the lisping woman from letting everyone know what had been squeezed.
Nervous silence filled the room.
"WHAAAAAAH!"
The joint terrified shriek of all six evil supernatural entities would have been amusing to most people, but they do not have enhanced hearing, and they are not standing right in the middle of the explosion of sound.
Ranma clapped his hands over his ears in an effort to ward off the ringing that suddenly started in them.
Salamander's fears caused his flames to flare up, allowing everyone to see the small creature that had them running scared.
Roaring laughter quickly filled the small room instead of terrified screams.
"I can't believe we were afraid- er –nervous- er –cautious about this, this, this tiny thing!" snorted the burned woman, pointing her normal delicate finger at him.
Ranma was once more forced to clap his hands over his ears to ward off the noise.
"He, he couldn't even beat up a mouse!" snickered the goat man.
This ridicule went on for a while before Ranma started getting annoyed. Sure, he could understand their doubts about his strength, but this was not funny anymore.
Without being consciously aware of it, Ranma let out a warning yowl of a surprisingly deep tone for such a small cat.
"Ooooh, the kitty is getting angry!" laughed Maelstrom. "What are you going to do, kitty? Scratch us with your tiny claws?"
Fifteen brutal minutes later, Ranma emerged from the room, dusting himself off and purring in satisfaction.
Maybe there was some fish he could eat around here …
Inside the room the six evil, supernatural beings were writhing on the ground.
While they had all received a thorough beating, small additional insults had been added.
Shadow Reaver had lost his left horn, and could barely see out of the left eye as it was swelled shut.
Maelstrol had lost both of his horns, and was piled under Shadow Reaver in a rather compromising position.
Salamander was barely smouldering, and his once proud armour was now a dented, bent and sorry sight, nearly beyond recognition.
Behemoth was little more than a pile of gravel with a misshapen head on top. A curly moustache was etched into his face where his upper lip would have been if he had a mouth. A monocle was similarly etched around the right eye.
All the men were thankfully unconscious from the beating.
The women on the other hand, had gotten a more surprising addition to their physical punishment, and were very much awake.
"He really took charge, didn't he?" sighed Malis, wiggling from the slight discomfort of her nether regions that was caused from disuse suddenly, without preparation, being used roughly.
"Yesss," agreed Sith. "He wasss ssso MANLY! Even if his body was small …"
"I just wish it had been him and not Shadow Reaver's horn …"
"Yesss, but you were the lucky one, only getting one, I got two and he didn't give me time to prepare for it or even enjoy it, and then it wasssn't moving any more …"
"He could have given us some more attention …" agreed Malis.
"Well, it wasss sssupposssed to be punissshment … ssstill …"
-Snort!-
"Men," commented Malis. "They think only of their own agenda and not about us and our needs!" she finished in a rising angered tone.-
-Sigh-
"Another couple of eons before the next time, I guess …"
There was a moment of silence, apart from the whimpering and painful moaning from the men, where the two women looked at each other, similar thoughts running through their sex-deprived minds.
"We ssstill have our chambersss, you know …"
"Your chamber or mine?"
Ranma wandered the corridors in search of any pleasant people, he no longer liked the ones he had just met.
On his way he encountered a few other beings, but they had run as soon as they saw him, apparently being more cowardly towards outsiders than the initial six Ranma had met. Perhaps it had something to do with the gun-crazy cat-woman the mean people had mentioned …
After nearly an hour of aimless wandering, Ranma stumbled into a chamber where a pedestal was placed in the centre. Sticking out of this pedestal was a pair of tongs that held a pearly white crystal ball between them.
Ranma idly wondered why someone would place this here, and why none of the evil creatures in this place had stolen it yet. He reached to pick it up to further examine it.
Don't! a disembodied voice called out.
Ranma looked around the chamber and saw no one.
"Who's there?" he asked, weary of any attack.
Me, the Dragon Orb! the voice called. Don't move me, or every evil supernatural entity within this tower will be set loose on the world!
"You're this little ball?" asked Ranma curiously and bent closer to examine it.
Yes, and I believe you don't really belong here, am I right? asked the Orb. Of course I am, and you must be another werecreature … why do they keep finding a way into my tower?
"Search me," replied Ranma. "What's a werecreature? Is it like a werewolf?"
Yes, of course! snapped the Orb. Now, if you'd excuse me, I think it is time I sent you back where you belong, and DON'T COME BACK!
" Oka-" Shing!
With only a slight crystal-like sound and a flash of light, Ranma was gone.
And I thought it would be safe to hide on Mars … silly me! muttered the Dragon Orb to itself. Three near catastrophic incidents in the same eon is too much! I need to find a better hiding place … hmmm … I wonder how well I can hide on Jupiter …
Somewhere unknown, the wererat seer receives a location to go with her vision of the next threat … Jade.
The wererat seer nearly sighs as she sees the werecat digging himself out of a dune of sand that had a light covering of dry grass, muttering about stupid old perverts that change him into some werecreature, stupid kendoists that send him to a prison tower for evil supernatural beings with poor people skills, stupid Orbs sending him to the wrong place in the world, stupid sand for settling the wrong way in his fur, and stupid fur for being black under the scorching desert sun.
She was not impressed with this development, but nonetheless informed Gothwrain about it.
Credits; "What are you going to do, kitty? Scratch us with your tiny claws?" This line is borrowed and modified from one of Magneto's lines in X-Men 2, where they are preparing the assault on the hidden Weapon X lab, and was directed at Wolverine.
