Disclaimer: Yet again, I don't own Naruto. Plot is mine and Bobby is my cousin's, ANBU33! Mwhahaha!
Chapter 7: Snakes and Toads
"I'm not just a pervert... I'M A MEGA PERVERT!"
~Jiraiya~
Bobby stared at the man that stood in their way.
"You have got to be kidding me," his mother muttered.
The blonde shinobi, who still hadn't bothered to introduce himself, stepped forward. "Orochimaru."
"Ah, yes. So you're Hemlox. How fun. Do you wish to play, little leaf nin?!" snarled the snake man as his tongue shot towards Hemlox.
"Get back!" Hemlox snapped as he unsheathed his katana, lashing towards the strange appendage flying towards him, but missing. The danger of losing his tongue seemed to discourage the snake-man, so it was retracted back into his mouth.
"Hehe…" Orochimaru snickered as two snakes slithered from his sleeves, but were quickly slain by the blonde man's sword.
"Summoning jutsu," the snake said, after forming many blurring hand signs, and bit his thumb and put it to the ground.
"Shit!" Bobby's mother cursed as she grabbed him and pulled him away from the fight, where a giant snake had appeared with a poof of smoke, and would have crushed them had they stayed in that area.
The snake's maw suddenly surrounded Hemlox, and swallowed him. Bobby stared with shock at the area where their protector had been before…
Coming up behind the snake man, Hemlox stabbed him, appearing seemingly out of thin air to Bobby's untrained eyes.
Orochimaru's body melted almost, turning into many white snakes that moved as one away from the other shinobi, reforming as soon as they were an acceptable distance from Hemlox. He reached into his mouth, which caused Bobby's own mouth to gape with shock as he pulled a sword from it.
The sword then moved on its own towards Hemlox, who wasn't expecting that to occur. He was cut slightly on his arm, just a sliver of red on the man's skin. Had he not dodged, the sword would have taken his arm off.
The next time the sword came towards him, he was prepared, and managed to dodge the blow. Bobby quickly stopped paying attention to that particular battle when he suddenly heard some shout in a voice that he didn't recognize.
"If you think giant snakes are cool, watch this!"
With another poof of smoke, a giant toad appeared which then engaged combat with the snake summon. A silver haired man stood on the toad head, who Bobby assumed was the one that had been talking before.
Bobby stared with shock as the old man and his summon both seemed to shoot flame at the snake, who screamed as the fire seared his eyes, effectively blinding him.
"Where's Orochimaru?" Hemlox demanded, looking at the snake head but failing to find the man.
They heard a chuckle, and then Bobby's mother was grabbed by smaller snakes that the man had created, who had somehow appeared out of the tree that they were standing on.
Suddenly, the snake man's head was nearly kicked in by a blonde woman who wore a strange cloak patterned with red clouds.
The silver haired man was staring openly at the girl, not even realizing that his summon had killed the snake. "Akatsuki," he muttered.
"Yo," said the woman grinning at them all. The blonde man had frozen too, but he wasn't looking at her cloak, but her face.
"I have a strange feeling that shit's about to hit the fan," Bobby muttered, as he helped his mother pull the snakes off of her.
The mysterious woman grinned behind her mask, or at least Bobby assumed she did. "Oh, yes it is."
"Megan," Orochimaru purred. "You wouldn't hurt an old teammate, would you? Besides, if I remember correctly, you are more blood thirsty than even Hidan, yes?"
The woman laughed. "Doesn't matter how blood thirsty I am. I would rather kill you than anyone else here, you monster."
He tried to catch her eye, but with light glinting sharply off of her scythe blade that was rushing towards him, he hurriedly dissolved into the tree instead of attacking her with genjutsu. To Bobby's eyes, it looked as though he walked straight through the tree, tempting the child to look at the other side to see if he was there.
"Damn it!" the blonde woman snarled, punching the tree so hard that you could see an indentation of her fist in it.
She didn't use chakra! Bobby thought, awed. To have that kind of strength!
"One of these days, I'm gonna kill that snake," she muttered, practically ignoring the others.
The silver haired man looked very unsure to Bobby, staring at the blonde woman, debating something inside his head. "You're Akatsuki," he finally blurted out.
"Yep," she shrugged. "And you're Jiraiya of the Three Sanin, and we just fought Orochimaru together. What, were you expecting me to attack you or something?"
"Yeah," Jiraiya answered truthfully.
She snorted. "Nah. Though I do have to go now. Catch ya later!" she shouted as she used the body flicker technique to go to who-knows-where.
Hemlox opened his mouth and then closed it, deciding not to say what was on his mind. "That was probably the strangest meeting of my life," he finally said.
"That, I will agree with," his mother said. "What is 'Akatsuki' anyway? Not good, from what I've gathered."
"No, definitely not good. I can't tell you the rest but let's all hope that we don't encounter a more violent one," Jiraiya answered.
Hemlox stepped forward, and then said, "Jiraiya, I need you to take care of these two for me. As you can see, they have a tendency to run into trouble with their arms wide open."
Jiraiya frowned. "I don't know, Dy- Hemlox. It sounds like a bad idea. Besides, I can't take care of them. I have things to do, and you know it!"
Hemlox took the other man to the side, and seemed to start a quiet argument with him. Finally, they came back. Jiraiya's face held begrudging acceptance, and it was obvious who had won the argument.
Hemlox nodded at Jiraiya. "I have to leave now. I have to check up on my teammates."
"What did you do to your teammates this time?" Jiraiya demanded, exasperated.
"Well…" Hemlox started but then paused as Jiraiya held up his hand.
"You know what? I don't wanna know."
x~x~x
Bobby's mother face palmed the first time they went to a hot spring with Jiraiya. It seemed, he was a 'mega pervert'. She quickly dragged her son away, who had been watching the older man curiously.
Jiraiya was still snickering and muttering something about research as they left. Bobby's mother sighed as she realized that she was not going to be able to use the hot spring unless…
The woman paused, and asked, "Bobby, can you distract Jiraiya while I go to the hot springs?"
Bobby nodded. "Sure."
As his mother left to prepare for the hot springs, Bobby ran over to Jiraiya. "I'm bored," the boy stated as he tugged on the older man's shirt. "Can you teach me an awesome jutsu?"
"No."
Bobby frowned. "Why not?"
"You're not ready yet. Besides, I have no idea what your skills are or what your chakra nature is," the man replied. "Oh, and I'm also researching, but you already knew that." The man grinned at him.
"Please train me! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Ple-"
"Shut up already! Alright, I'll train you. Just shut up, okay?" Jiraiya shouted, thoroughly annoyed.
Bobby perked up. "Yay!"
"What did I just agree to?" Jiraiya murmured to himself.
x~x~x
"It seems your mother has taught you quite a bit of the basics, so let's skip to see what you chakra nature is," Jiraiya said, as he handed a piece of chakra paper to the boy.
Jiraiya watched as the paper was ripped to pieces, signaling that the child had wind chakra. Jiraiya frowned, thinking of a jutsu that Bobby's mother would approve of. But first…
"Here ya go, kid. Come to me when you can cut it in half in a single try," Jiraiya said as he walked towards the hot springs, intent on more 'research'.
Bobby was desperate now. He didn't want Jiraiya to peep on his mother, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. "What are you doing research for?"
Jiraiya gaped at the boy, obviously not expecting him to ask, thinking he already knew. "My books, of course! Have you never heard of Icha Icha Paradise?"
It was Bobby's turn to gape in shock. "N-no. My mother told me to never read those books because they're porn."
"They are not porn! They are moving novels about life, love, and-" Jiraiya started but then was interrupted by a very angry mother's voice.
"You are not corrupting my baby boy with porn!"
