(Re-Posted January 11th 2007)
Disclaimer; This fanfiction uses existing ideas, characters and or worlds, but is an independent work of art. I own nothing, hence the reason for publishing my writings here instead of in real books where I could make some money.
It was morning a few days after the banquet.

Ranma was sleeping peacefully in the guest bedroom he had been assigned to, until his heightened senses told him that someone was up and about, distressed and in a hurry.

From personal experience, Ranma knew that being up, distressed and in a hurry this early in the day was never a sign of anything good, so he awoke instantly, alert and ready for battle.

Throwing on a pair of pants to cover the bottom half of his mage suit, Ranma ran into the hall in time to see Britanny hauling a half dressed Gina towards the front door. Gina had been clinging to the trophy for the past few days that Ranma wouldn't have been surprised if she slept and showered with it. The trophy was currently noticeably absent. Curiosity got the better of him, and he ran after them, finding Brianna already outside, fully awake and dressed, sitting impatiently in the car.

"Start the motor!" yelled Britanny, carrying her squirming big sister under her arm.

"Britanny!" screamed an embarrassed Gina as she struggled with keeping her clothes on. "M-my pants!"

Ranma followed the three to the car, and jumped in with them, smiling. His main reason for smiling was for effect, but really, it was also because of the view he had gotten before Gina could pull on her pants. What heterosexual man would not find that sight enjoyable?

The three women looked at him in confusion.

"Well, you woke me up, I thought the least you could do would be to include me in this outing," he explained.

The three looked only slightly ashamed about what they had done, but could not argue his logic.

"Now, where are we off to?"

"You know, I'm curious about that myself …" agreed Gina.

"Food Buffalo!" cried Brianna and frantically started the engine, having momentarily been distracted by Ranma's surprising appearance. "We have to run a few red lights, they get their tuna shipment in less than five minutes!"

The woman had a heavy foot, and floored it.

"That's what this is about?" asked Gina incredulously. "Grocery shopping?"

"YES!" exclaimed Britanny. "The fridge is beyond the point of bare, and the grocery store is out of tuna every day of the week, except on shipping days!"

"And who's fault is that?" grumbled Gina.

"We have to be there before regular shoppers arrive and reduce the stock!" added Brianna, ignoring her sister's grumbles.

Gina sighed and slumped into her seat.

"If only you'd said something earlier," she added. "I've got the solution to this problem!"

With a swift motion of her hand, Gina produced a card, which she presented to her sisters in the front seat.

"What the heck are - you?" started Britanny, but trailed off as she saw the blue card with not only Gina's image on it, but the logo of Mass Club as well.

"A buyer's club card?" exclaimed Brianna, dangerously taking her eyes of the road. "Why didn't I think of that?" she added to herself.

"Woo! Go Gina!" cheered Britanny.

"You guys are sooo easy to impress …" sighed Gina, this time with a slight satisfaction.

Ranma didn't understand much of what was just said, but played it by ear. It must have been a good thing, or these people wouldn't have been so excited.

A short drive down the freeway later, and the four were at their desired destination, a super mart with the large banner of Mass Club hanging over the doors.

"Here we are," declared Gina as they stepped up to the building. "Practically everything in this place is in bulk … so keep our maximum food storage capacity in mind while you're shopping." She levelled a stern glare on the three others. "That especially goes for you, Britanny!"

"Huh?" replied the werecheetah intelligently.

"I'm talking about the time you bought so many new shoes, we had to keep some of them in the fridge!" reminded Gina.

"Hey! That's not fair!" argued Britanny. "They were on sale!"

Ranma tuned out the women until they were all inside. He offered to take over the shopping cart for Brianna, figuring he had to at least do something. Lugging shopped items for his hosts seemed as good a duty as any.

He did notice that he and Britanny were drawing stares, though. Those poor people … not used to such things as strange-looking people walking about in broad daylight.

"This is gonna be sweet!" said Britanny as soon as they were inside. "With the savings we earn, we'll spend half as much as a normal grocery run-"

"-which means we can get twice the goods!" finished Brianna.

"Amen, sista!" chimed Britanny.

"You guys aren't going to go on another spending binge in here, are you?" asked Gina, apparently already knowing the answer.

Her only answer was an eerie stare from both her sisters that made her shiver and sweat nervously.

While Gina was thinking that this might not have been such a good idea, Ranma was trailing behind her, shopping cart well in hand, taking in the sights. He had never seen so many wares stacked together, even in shops in Tokyo. This was how shopping was supposed to be … quantities like these were the kind he appreciated for his shopping. He wistfully glanced at the crate of instant ramen, large enough to fit his car into, and the other huge boxes and containers of food. Even though he had gotten his credit card in the mail, he didn't feel inclined to spend anything on it unless it was an emergency … but the ramen was tough, he had to reason that he might need the money later. But he did wonder why the bank had been so quick to send him the card, and why his mother didn't seem to answer her phones in the afternoon. He had yet to reach her, and he had yet to check the balance of his account. For some reason, the teller started stuttering too badly when he read her the account number and name, and he was unable to get anything coherent out of her.

Ranma was impressed with the selection of cookies they had here, though the average person would not be able to lift the large bags unassisted. Britanny seemed to have the same way of seeing it, and happily hugged the forty pound bag of chocolate chip cookies, while asking where the milk was.

"It should be down this aisle." Stated Gina and looked around for evidence contrary to her statement or to support it. "We can-" she ended her sentence before any meaning could be gotten from it and stared at what was before her. "Oh MY GOD!"

Britanny turned to see what was the matter. "What? What is it?"

Gina got in her way, and did her best to distract her attention from whatever was behind her. "Okay, take it nice and easy, Brit!" she said in a would-be calm tone. "Take deep breaths and try not to pass out when you see this …"

"See what?"

The shock of seeing entire metal barrels with tuna lined neatly along the aisle for several shelves up was enough to make the werecheetah drop her giant bag of cookies. Britanny and Brianna were getting misty eyed as they stared in awe at the plenty of their favourite food.

"Brianna … we're on holy ground!" squeaked Britanny, her teary eyes sparkling in adoration.

Brianna herself was chanting to herself "Please don't be a dream … please don't be a dream …"

A little later, a slightly disappointed Ranma was tagging along behind the trio of women, two of which were singing "We are the Champions" by Queen while driving or lounging on a forklift loaded with two barrels of tuna and other miscellaneous items. He was disappointed that they didn't trust him to be able to carry all of that stuff … being short was no picnic … at least he had proven his skill to Britanny the day after the banquet. She wouldn't assume him as weak as he looked any more, nor would she underestimate his skills. They had come to an agreement that they would spar occasionally to see how the other's training progressed. For some reason, Britanny needed some more time healing from their fight and spars than he did, but didn't really feel the need to question this. Whenever he started questioning things, it all fell to pieces.

Gina seemed to be a bit more considerate, and after a bit of muttering about only having to make two trips now that they were able to rent a forklift, told Britanny to change to human form, there were people from out of town here and they weren't used to seeing a lycanthrope lounging on top of a forklift in the middle of the day where everyone could see them.

"Tsk … let 'em stare," said Britanny. "They have to get used to me sometime."

Ranma couldn't agree more with her sentiment.

"Spaghetti 'Os, hooo!" called Brianna cheerfully and pointed dead ahead.

As they were getting through the store, Gina grumbled about how the "savings" were getting expensive, and reminded her sisters not to grab stuff on impulse in the check-out lane.

Their path was suddenly blocked by a hulking figure.

"'Scuse me, Ms Diggers?" groused an intimidating voice.

Gina, being the brave adventurer, the super scientist, had only one answer. "Huh?"

Ranma was on full alert. Run-ins like this never turned out well in his experience. He may not be able to take this guy out on his own, but he was certain that he could keep him busy while the others ran for safety. That, and he hadn't noticed the guy until he was within seven feet of them set him off edge. Something that big had no right being stealthy.

"Monty?" asked Gina, hardly recognising the previous president of the Explorers' Society, previous because the title was handed over to her a few days ago. Or rather, she recognised him, but this locations seemed a bit off from his style, so she had not expected to see him.

"'Magine th' quincadence, eh?" groused the threatening voice. This would most likely be how the Grim Reaper sounded … only without the dialect. "Th' two o' us meet'n agin so soon afta the banquet," continued Monty through his thick, long red beard. "Small world, wot?"

"You're telling me …" agreed Gina. It was a little too coincidental in Ranma's unspoken opinion. "By the way, Monty, why is your cart so empty? Aren't you finding anything here …"

"Not 'til now, I 'avent't," groused the big man.

Britanny now realised who this man was, and was as surprised as Gina.

"All right, what's holdin' up the gravy train?" demanded Brianna from the forklift.

"'Tell ya the truth, lass, I'm 'ere on bizness …" whispered Monty conspiratorially to Gina. "An ossoshaite o' mine wants t' meet ye … I'd 'ide my boyfriends if I was you … she's a saucy li'l wench when she smells fresh "meat"!"

Monty dug into his pockets and held out an old lamp that could have been taken directly out of that Aladdin cartoon. It was the same lamp Fauntleroy had been showing off at the banquet.

"'Ere, take 'er," affirmed Monty. "'N good riddance!"

Gina stared at the item in shock.

"Hey! That's … Madrid! The Djinni Fauntleroy had at the presentation!" she exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"Ye got me …" confessed the large man. "She ne'er tells ole Monty a thing! 'ppears she 'as some'n t' say t' you, thou …"

Gina had only one thing to say about that.

"Jinkies!"

Gina's sisters were as confused as she was, but Ranma was having suspicions about this.


The four and Djinni returned to the junior Diggers home about half an hour later. The reason for their belated return being firstly that they had to load the groceries into hyper space and the car, secondly, the girl at the register thought they had gotten the lamp from among their wares and was about to call the police when they refused to pay for it, thirdly, Madrid was a pain. Ranma decided to drive his own car just to avoid her and her sexually aggressive ways. That Djinni was nothing like Dao, the male Djinni Gina had hired as her lab assistant, and Ranma could not help but envision Madrid as a cross between Nabiki and Kodachi with a bit of potent aphrodisiac dumped in her food. She had the same conniving air about her that Nabiki had, and she had the same inhibitions about clothing, or lack of it, that Kodachi had. The only thing she wore to cover her top half was a metal ring that spanned nearly a foot from her body without touching her, with a gap in front, and her pants were so low there was hardly any need for them at all. Her head was covered in ram-like horns, like a helmet that curled down her back and under her arms, and her eyes were on her waist.

Ranma was nearly bowled over by an overly concerned Beebee as soon as he entered. Only nearly because of her small bulk and barely enough speed to manage launching into the air at his stomach, and because Ranma was a very resilient fighter.

"Where were you?" asked the Peebo in a near panicked, yet relieved tone. "I came in with your breakfast at seven, and you weren't there! I searched the entire house, and couldn't find you! There was no note or anything! I was just about ready to call the police!" –sniff- "Please … just hold me!" she added in a meek tone that sounded on the verge of crying.

Ranma was never very comfortable around crying females, even if this female was artificial, and could not help but look and feel awkward about giving a bit bomb a hug.

"There's something you don't see every day," commented Brianna jovially as she helped carry in groceries. "Don't make her too excited, or she'll blow her top!"

"An explosive love-affair if I ever saw one," agreed Britanny. "But let's get on to more important business … TUNA!"

Ranma didn't much want to witness the feline versus piscis carnage, nor endure the presence of the spine-chilling Djinni, so he sought refuge in the part of the lab Gina had told him he could use for his own "experiments". He had yet to convince her that he was not merely a bragging mechanic Martial Artist, but he was working on it. So far, he hadn't spent too much time with her because she was either hugging her trophy or doing experiments in her lab.

He had a lot of work to do on his car, and had so far managed to avoid having any of the girls see him stuff or remove things from stuff space.

Beebee was still shuddering slightly, which made Ranma realise that it probably wasn't a good idea to let go of her, so he resigned himself to working one-handed.

As with what Ranma usually did, he lost himself in his work.

Passenger seats were added of the same quality as the driver's seat.

An onboard computer was installed. It fed off the same source as the rest of the car.

A special battery was installed to receive and store bio-energy radiation, making the functions of the car possible for up to twelve hours after the driver had stepped out.

Ranma barely paused to take a sip of water. His tail decided to help once in a while, supporting what he was working on so it would not fall and break.

Ranma soon came to the deduction that should an emergency occur, requiring him to have more speed than his engine could give, a ki boost would be given from behind, like a jet engine or a nitro-boost in racing cars. It looked like twin jet engines sitting very close along the back end where the trunk would normally go.

After deliberating the issue for a while, taking the adventures Gina, Brianna and Britanny told him about under consideration, Ranma gave in and started installing weapons on the vehicle.

Twin cannons were made to pop out between the front tires and headlights, and would fire ki blasts fed from the battery storage with enough power to blow a hole through five feet of solid concrete. This made Ranma install a battery more specifically for this function so the car would not lose its additional functions while firing. The trigger would be on the steering wheel in form of twin buttons that needed to be pressed in simultaneously for three seconds to work.

From the back, a compartment was built in to store several makabishi spikes. A covered switch on the dashboard labelled "spikes" would release the latch holding the compartment closed, and would drop the spikes onto the road, potentially puncturing the tires on pursuing vehicles. This was also connected to a separate ki-tech battery, and acted like the Stuff-Space generator, in having room for more spikes than appearance dictated.

While he was on the idea of improving his car, Ranma remembered Gina mentioning that some of her cars could fly as well as drive, and some could even submerge under water. This opened up a completely new venue of ideas for the car.

Getting the car to be resistant to water would not be a problem as it was mostly water resistant already. He only needed to set up an internal system of wires to conduct his ki-tech, and maybe get the computer to route the energy to make a shield of some sort to ward off external pressure … it could also be used for minor defensive purposes … the wheels could be extended, made jointed to make it move where he steered, when he flicked a switch, and act as propellers … he could store some oxygen tanks in his stuff space, and he would be set to drive under water.

The flying would be a problem. He wasn't sure if he had the motor power to keep the car elevated for long enough to actually fly, nor did he think he could afford the energy to make those boost engines for the wheels, as it was not going to last very long …

Perhaps it was time to expand on his ki-tech and create chi-tech? A device that draws energy from surrounding elements such as air, water or even light. Having it draw from the earth could damage it akin to dropping an atomic bomb on the ground around the car, making it lifeless and infertile for generations as the soil tries to restore the energy it was robbed of. The Ph balance in the soil was a lot more influential on the planet than how saturated the air or water was with energy, and Ranma didn't want to harm the earth more than necessary. The chi-tech would have near endless sources of energy, and could therefore afford to spend more energy at once. The receptors and processors needed only had to be able to handle all that energy, something that was not all that difficult to do.

With a goal in mind, Ranma sat down at a desk and started tinkering, trying to figure out a way to make his ki-receptors switch to specified chi signatures.

It was a strenuous job to modify the chips involved, but after three hours of working, he did it. It was not something he would tell the world about, as the military could do massive damage with minimum effort if they had access to these things. If a war broke out, the world would have been obliterated within the first strike of a bomb made of chi-tech, causing an explosion equalling that of a supernova, because those military types had no sense of moderation. The fact that the world in general possesses enough explosive devices to destroy the planet ten times over was the biggest incentive he had to keep chi-tech from military eyes.

Although the good that could be done with the chi-tech also entered Ranma's mind as he installed the chi-jets into the wheels, making it so the hub caps would rotate. The good uses did not outweigh the bad uses. The outside of the hub caps were formed like propellers, and would give the car propulsion under water. The inside had a small series of jet nuzzles embedded in the propellers and centre that would give thrust in most any direction. When modes were switched to flight, the hub caps would turn inside out.

Underneath the car, a thick glowing silver strip would be seen. This was an additional feature Ranma added on after starting on the jets. It would direct a flow of chi towards the ground, the gravitational pull, and push off slightly, enough to make the car hover about two feet off the ground, which was enough for the wheels to shift positions. Flight mode would immediately activate this feature before the wheels were changed, and would not disengage before the wheels were back in correct driving position.

As he was working, he realised that it would not do for the police to pull him over, as he had no licence, so the only way to get around that was a cloaking device for when he was spotted. The shield of the car should be good enough, all he needed to do was to have the onboard computer redirect light refraction, reflecting what was on the other side of the car instead of the car itself. No sane police officer would radio in a call about a phantom car.

Ranma was so involved with his work that he didn't realise the time.

For one man, doing all that work, Ranma had worked for over twelve hours before he was done. This was an impressive feat, considering that three hours or so of that time was dedicated to finding a way to modify the ki-tech into chi-tech. Without really meaning to, Ranma had entered into a full body Chestnut fist, working at speeds unseen by the normal human eye.

He took a moment to wonder how much more scrap he had left in his stuff space before he realised it wasn't much. Most of it was used now. It was perhaps time to raid the nearest junk yard.

Beebee had enjoyed the time of close contact, but had for the past seven hours tried to snap him out of his zen state and get him to take a break, get some food, sleep or relieve himself.

It was now nearly one in the morning.

Ranma's stomach agreed with Beebee in the food part, and made sure he knew it.

-Rrrrrooowrrr!-

"Fine!" sighed Ranma in defeat. He was very tired now that the day was catching up with him. "I'll get a bite to eat, go to the bathroom, shower, then hit the sack, happy?"

-Rrrrrooowrrr!-

Apparently, it was.

Beebee was equally happy, it would be a shame if her love were to die from exhaustion or starvation when she was around to remind him to do what most people do without stopping to think about it. It was just done. If a person was hungry and had access to food, he ate. If a person had to relieve himself, he found a suitable spot and did so. If a person was tired, he found a suitable place and went to sleep.

But … being his unofficial "secretary" was a small price to pay to be around him all day.

-Sigh-

"Did you say something, Beebee?"

"Oh … er … nothing!"

Ranma didn't press the matter, and took one last glance at his finished car before stowing it away in stuff space. How odd … one of the chi-tech chips were missing … maybe he just miscounted … oh, well … it couldn't do much harm in there in its current state anyway …


Along the way to the kitchen, Beebee asked to be deposited to the ground, as she needed to ask Brianna about something while she was still awake.

Ranma, only now realising that he had held the bit bomb all day, gently lowered her to the ground and watched her roll through a mechanised doggie door next to the door of Brianna's room.

He mused for a moment about what a bit bomb would have to ask her maker about, then was reminded by his stomach that it had yet to get any of the promised events.

As Ranma entered the kitchen, he saw Gina sitting on the counter, speaking on the phone about some expedition she was trying to get together. It had to involve those Djinni she had befriended. There was no other logical explanation … she had not talked about an expedition until now, and Madrid had arrived this morning … coincidence? Not likely.

Ranma opened the fridge, and gestured to her with some of the stuff inside, silently asking permission to use them for his sandwich.

Gina looked at the performance for a moment while the person on the other end spoke, and nodded her permission just before she started to speak again.

Ranma was aware of that he was currently alone with Gina, which was one of the things Britanny had warned him about the first day, but he counted the telephone as a third party, which meant there was a chaperone of sorts.

The sandwich was not much, but it was all he could put together with what he had. American bread was not like the kind he was used to, and therefore set the taste slightly off the norm, but the tuna more than made up for it.

He found it strange that after his transformation, his affinity for fish had doubled. But then again, he had been changed into some feline creature, and cats loved fish … maybe it wasn't so odd after all …

"Tuna sandwich?" asked Gina and hopped onto the table next to where Ranma had sat down to eat.

"Yeah," confirmed Ranma, halted in the process of bringing the food to his mouth. "Want a bite?"

Now, to the normal person this offer might be considered polite … it was more significant when Ranma was involved. Having been on the road all his life with his father, hardly ever having a full belly and having to fight for what he got, sharing food was more than polite, it was a sign of trust and an offer of friendship, or in this case, an affirming offer of friendship, making sure he was still in his friend's good graces.

"Sure!" chirped Gina cheerfully. Having grown up with Britanny, Gina had grown to like the fish called tuna, as it was so rare for her to get a hold of some. Leaning in, Gina took a small chunk out of the sandwich. "Mmm!" she moaned around the juicy morsel. "This is great! What did you do with it?"

"I added a few spices to your sister's recipe," shrugged Ranma and proceeded to eat his sandwich. "Nothing big."

Gina finished off her bite, and stopped to stare at Ranma for a little, with curiosity in her eyes.

"You know, I haven't heard the reason why you're so short in hybrid form …" she finally stated. "Is it a birth defect like Gar's sister, Sheila, has?"

"Not to my knowledge," answered Ranma, polishing off his sandwich.

"What species of werecat are you?"

"No idea," replied Ranma casually, though preparing himself for a long line of questions. "I wasn't born as one, so I couldn't ask my parents or relatives about it."

Gina pondered his answers for a bit.

"Could you transform?" she finally asked. "I'm sure I could identify your species if I … examined you …"

Not catching on the slight hesitation, Ranma saw no problem in her request, and got himself a little space on the kitchen floor before changing.

It was still an unfamiliar sensation to have one's perspective drop nearly to the ground, and Ranma found himself looking up at Gina who had frozen in temporary shock.

The shock wore off very quickly, and soon Ranma found himself being poked, prodded, lifted, twisted and turned, not unlike what judges tend to do at cat shows. The final act was to lift his chops to bare his teeth, which revealed the long and sharp fangs more clearly.

At Gina's signal, Ranma returned to hybrid form, the form he for some reason felt more comfortable in, and sat down expectantly at the table.

"Well," she started, slightly indecisive. "From the size and shape of your full cat form, I would have to say a big housecat, but the fangs would say smilodon, you would have to be somewhere in between, since the fangs aren't as ridiculously large as the smilodon, and you are larger than the average cat, I would have to say dinictis. You are a weredinictis, though how you came to be one, I have no idea …"

That made some sense to Ranma.

He was trained in the Neko-Ken, where he had been "trained" by cats to act like one in a berserker state. A berserker state dictates a more primal attitude, and thus one gets a primal feline. Happosai said that the curse would make him face his worst fears, felines. The curse had failed, and apparently turned him into a werecat instead due to the Neko-Ken. Because of the primal attitude the Neko-Ken dictated he have, an ordinary cat would not do, so it stepped back a step or two further to the ancestor of housecats; the dinictis, a small sabretoothed tiger, smilodon, with less distinct characteristics than its larger relative.

"-could ask my father," finished Gina, having gone on speaking while Ranma was thinking. "He's an Arch mage, and should be able to tell what went on …"

Ranma shook himself from his thoughts and pretended to have listened all the time, nodding his agreement. He had gotten the gist of the monologue from her finishing sentence.

"So …" continued Gina, an awkward silence spreading between them. Ranma was very aware of them being alone now, with no technical third party to act as a chaperone. "I've never gotten the time to just sit down and get to know you, Ranma."

"My life is an open book," confessed Ranma. He was almost certain that Nabiki had at one time started selling his life story. "Grew up on the road with my pop, learning how to fight, travelled the world in search of good training spots, living off the land, or in some of pop's cases, off the people … lousy thief …" he trailed off into a short mutter about what should be done to that fat panda. "Anyway, he exposed me to the darker sides of life through his idiocy, and ended up engaging me to countless girls to feed his stomach on what little they gave for dowry, then he'd grab me and run in the dead of night …" another round of angry mutters ensued. "When I had turned about sixteen, pops took me to China, to a legendary training ground, Jusenkyo … The pools of sorrow. A grand valley filled with hundreds of pools, some bigger than a Jacuzzi, some as small as a bucket, with at least one bamboo pole sticking out of them, each pool has its own tragic drowning accident … each pool having a curse …" he briefly considered not telling his host about the curse, but it would eventually come up anyway. "If you fall or enter one of the pools, you would instantly receive the body of what drowned there last … I fell into one, and my father fell into another."

"Was that how you became a weredinictis?" asked Gina, practically spellbound by the story. There was no disbelief in her visage. Normal people would by now start calling him a liar or worse, which indicated that she had some level of experience with the unusual.

"No, that came about two years later, about a month ago," corrected Ranma. "No, the cursed form my father got was a panda. Every time he was splashed with cold water, he would change into what he would have looked like had he been born a panda. To change back, he needed hot water."

"And you?"

"I fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl," confessed Ranma nervously. It was well enough that she believed in magic, and so far had sown no disgust or disbelief, but how would she handle this?

-Splash!-

"WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?" demanded a soaked Ranma.

"But you didn't change!" said Gina, almost disappointed.

"I was getting to that!" snapped Ranma in response. A short, angry mutter about trigger happy women followed. "I had that curse for about two years, and grew to feel more at home in it, though I still won't be caught dead pining over some guy … then Happosai decided to curse me for not being the good student he wanted me to be …"

"Happosai?" asked Gina, looking as though she was starting to make plans for another expedition. "Isn't that the urban legend about a tiny troll that runs about the land, stealing underwear and groping anything in a skirt?"

"You heard of him?"

"Of course!" retorted Gina proudly. "I make it my business to know about urban legends, or even legends in general, as it often leads to discovering things long forgotten! The legend of Happosai goes back at least a hundred-and-fifty years, but dwindled away for a nearly twenty-year period only to resurface nearly two years ago … some think it's just a copy-cat, but others disagree."

"Anyway," continued Ranma, slightly weary of the woman now. "Happosai tried to curse me, mentioning something about me facing my greatest fears. He read from this crumbling old scroll while pointing a stick at me, and while he read, everything grew hot, so hot that his sleeves caught fire, making him say somethin' he wasn't supposed to, and then the curse hit me and ruined my favourite shirt … when the light show died down, I was what you see now."

"What happened to your girl curse?" asked a curious Gina.

"It changed as well," replied Ranma and shifted to female hybrid form. "Unlike normal werecreatures, I appear to have six forms instead of three. Three male forms and three female forms. Human, hybrid and beast."

"This …" started Gina, as she stared in shock. "… is …" Ranma prepared himself for the accusations and insults that usually came with the knowledge of his cursed form. "… so COOL!"

"Eh?"

"You're a unique being!" screamed Gina and embraced the weredinictis, squishing their … talents together … Ranma nearly blacked out from the sensory overload. "As far as I know, there are no other weredinictis since there weren't any around when Iceron made the werecreatures! You're unique!"

Ranma shifted back to male form as soon as Gina let him go and had to take a seat to calm himself.

Gina, noticing his embarrassment got a sly grin on her face.

"So, Ranma …" she purred and leaned on his shoulder … her lack of proper support beneath the sweater was made very clear to him. "Are you a virgin?"

Ranma blushed brightly enough for it to shine through his black coat of fur and started stuttering about it not being her business.

"You are!" exclaimed Gina and made sure to press herself more against him. She studied his slightly more controlled reaction. "But you've had some sexual contact, right?"

"Hard not to with that nympho Amazon after me," muttered Ranma darkly. The thought of a naked and well endowed woman sleeping next to him without his prior knowledge served to arouse him like with normal men, but also to anger him, those Amazons never did take his thoughts and feelings into consideration when they made plans for his life.

Those two female, evil beings he encountered before landing on Jade didn't really count … he had merely done what so many people threaten to do and shoved the horns of those guys where the sun didn't shine … just not into the orifices of the owners … and it was in the heat of battle, so there really hadn't been much time to admire or even study the view.

"Okay, I'll stop teasing … for now," giggled Gina and gave his shoulders a squeeze. "So, what did you invent? Except your car …"

It was a safer topic than sex, Ranma assumed, and started to relax again.

"Well … there is this thing I call ki-tech, it works by absorbing the bio-energy radiation of a living being," explained Ranma. "The first thing I made it for, was this thing I call the Stuff-Space generator, which -"

"-"creates a fold in space within a designated container, allowing for as much as twenty times normal volume"," quoted Gina, shock written all over her face. "'Scuse me!"

Ranma watched in surprise as the blonde scientist ran from the kitchen without another word.

"I wonder what I said that drove her away …" he asked no one in particular.

Five minutes later, as Ranma was starting to clean up after himself, Gina returned with her arms full of magazines.

"I know it's in here somewhere!" she muttered and started rummaging though the pile she had dropped onto the table.

Ranma came over, curious about what was going on.

"Aha!" yelled Gina triumphantly and held up a slightly wrinkled magazine. "Here!"

Ranma glanced at the science magazine and was about to ask what she was talking about, when he noticed his own human face grinning back at him from the cover.

Before Gina knew it, the magazine was out of her hands and nearly pressed against Ranma's face.

"Scientist of the Year?" demanded Ranma, "How did they find out about this? I never told anyone!"

"Well, someone did, and you're making tons of money on royalties as we speak!" interrupted Gina. "The military of any country in the world is interested in this thing because they will be able to carry more weapons and ammo into battle. The same holds true for nearly any other trafficking business, your invention will even allow mailmen to carry more post if they have to without adding weight to their load! You're an international hero!"

"But the article says that a panel of experts is calling my invention a hoax," argued Ranma, having briefly read the article while Gina was ranting.

"Seeing is believing," quoted Gina. "They are merely disbelieving because of your age. Potential customers were given a demonstration of the product before they bought it! It says so right … there!"

Ranma read the part Gina indicated.

"President Iwo …" growled Ranma, then sighed. "I guess he meant well …"

"I understand how you feel," commented Gina. "I've been judged because of my age and appearance as well … you wouldn't believe how many people think I slept my way to my doctor's degree!"

Ranma nodded in understanding.

"D' you mind if I use the phone?" he asked after a moment of silence. "I need to try contacting my mother again, let her know I'm fine."

"Knock yourself out, Ranma," said Gina and patted his head. "Good night."

"Good night," returned Ranma and got up. He picked up the phone and started dialling. "Hello, is this the Tokyo Telephone Service?" he asked after a moment of waiting. "Could you connect me to a Nodoka Koki? … Yes, I'll hold, thank you."


In Tokyo, Nodoka Koki stopped by her apartment in a hurry.

For the past few weeks, in an effort to keep herself busy, she had started teaching kendo after work. Not many knew this, but Nodoka had been educated as and hired to be a professor in Fitness. During the day, she taught at the community college, and lately she added teaching kendo to the students of Furinkan High, her son's former school.

She had stopped by her apartment for a quick shower and a change of clothes before she had to run to catch the train.

Nabiki was working overtime a lot these past days, and seemed almost in a daze when she got back home, muttering about money and such.

Kasumi was busy studying medicine. When she wasn't studying, she was working part time at a local clinic as a secretary, to pay for her education and get some practical insight into the medical profession until she was scheduled for her internship.

Nodoka had just disrobed and turned on the hot water when the phone rang.

"Nah, the machine will take it," she brushed off. The answering machine was a new acquisition, as of yesterday. One of the neighbours, a nice old lady who seemed to be concerned with all her neighbours, had complained that the phone rang for long periods of time for the past week, and no one had been at home to answer it. Nabiki had picked up the machine on the way back from work.

She was really pressed for time, and she could not afford to lose any more by answering the phone and ending up yelling at some pervert for breathing heavily on the other end.

" You have reached the residence of Nodoka Koki, Nabiki Tendo and Kasumi Tendo, we are not in at the moment, but please leave a message after the beep, and we will do our best to contact you when we get back. " She heard the machine read. Oh, how she hated to hear her own voice on recording. Nodoka stepped into the hot water and started soaping up.

-Beeep!-

" Uh ," started an insecure male voice, obviously not used to nor expecting to be answered by a machine. " Hi, mom! " Ranma? " I just called to say I'm fine … sort of … I'm currently in America … Atlanta, Georgia to be more precise. " Nodoka hurriedly rinsed out the shampoo from her hair and scrubbed her face free of soap. Her boy was on the phone! " You can reach me at the number for Gina Diggers if you need to, just remember the fourteen hour time difference, " Nodoka stepped out of the shower in a hurry, nearly slipping on the wet floor, and rushed for the telephone in the hallway. " Um, bye! "

"Ranma!" screamed Nodoka desperately as she picked up the phone. But it was just half a second too late, as the ending beep of the message told her.

The elderly neighbour was suddenly the unfortunate victim of sound pollution, as a loud string of profanities were screamed from the kind, single mother next door.


Ranma hung up, disappointed that he kept missing his mother whenever he called.

At least she had gotten an answering machine, so now she would know he had called.

It was time to go to the bathroom.

With that, Ranma left the kitchen to grab a shower before going to bed.

A moment later, Beebee entered the kitchen in search of Ranma.

Not finding him in the kitchen, the bit bomb was about to leave when the telephone rang.

Beebee didn't think there was a reason to let the machine get it, so she got it instead, that she was a machine as well wasn't important.

"Diggers' residence, this is Beebee speaking, how may I help you?" answered Beebee sweetly, much like her maker and her sisters did whenever she was expecting a call from her father about how much money was spent from his account.


Back in Tokyo, Nodoka had managed to compose herself somewhat before making the call, and was both disappointed and pleased to have a woman answer the phone.

"Yes," she answered politely. "This is Nodoka Koki, Ranma's mother, he called me a few minutes ago, but I was indisposed and couldn't reach the phone in time … is he there?"

" You're Ranma's mother? " asked the sweet woman's voice on the other end.

"Yes, dear, is he there?"

" No, I was looking for him, myself … " answered the woman, Beebee. " He may be in the shower, on the way to bed … he was very tired and gritty, he has been working all day on his car! "

Nodoka was slightly disappointed with her own timing. Then she got curious.

"Tell me, dear," she started. "You seem to know my son, what is your relationship with him?"

She could almost hear the woman blush on the other end.

" Oh my, " squeaked Beebee. " Well, I love him, but he only sees me as a friend. "

Nodoka could hear the tint of disappointment in the woman's voice.

"No matter, dear," consoled Nodoka. "He'll come around if you're not too forward, possessive or violent with him."

" You really think so? " asked a hopeful Beebee.

"I'm sure of it," affirmed Nodoka. "Would you mind telling him what times he may call in the future?"

" Oh, no problem, Ms Koki! "

"Please, call me auntie!"

A few minutes later, after leaving the proper times, made in correspondence with the time difference, Nodoka hung up, thinking what a lovely and polite woman her son had found.

Now, she only had to call the Kendo Club of Furinkan High and say she wasn't going to make it today.

"Better tag on a threat to keep those weak-minded fools from listening to that sterile, poetry-spouting imbecile," she muttered to herself as she dialled the number. "Maybe five hundred strikes on a metal pole with their bokken, single-handed and per arm … while wearing weighted clothing … in the rain … perfect!"


In a dark prison in the outskirts of Tokyo, Genma Saotome, the sole remaining Saotome, was trying to get comfortable in his solitary cell.

This was by no means a simple task, being as the cell was so small, and dark. His bruises and fractures did not help make him more comfortable.

Being a Martial Artist, Genma was prone to heal quicker than most people, so whatever wounds he had gotten from the arrest had healed by the end of one of the fastest legal proceedings in history. One hour! That was the whole trial! One day in temporary prison awaiting the trial, one hour for the trial, most of which was spent reading the long, long list of offences he had committed during his four decades or so of life, a few minutes for the prosecutor to make his case, and a moment for the defence to surrender because Genma had tried to pick his lawyer's pocket on the way in, then three seconds for the jury to agree that he was guilty as sin right in front of him, and another twenty seconds for the judge to add up the crimes to figure out his punishment, which came out to a couple of centuries. It would have been more, but there were repeated offences, so not all of them could be counted again. If he behaved himself and didn't show that he was a menace to society, he may be let out on parole in ninety years. Oh joy!

The reason for Genma's current accommodations and condition, was that during his time in the yard, some of the more butch inmates decided that the fat bastard would be an ideal "companion". Genma disagreed and beat them up when they "approached" him. The guards didn't care if Genma had acted in self defence or not, he had beaten several inmates badly enough to land them in the hospital ward for up to a month, and insisted he was resisting their efforts to return him to his cell, which warranted them to administer a light beating to make him comply. As punishment for making them use real effort, Genma was put in solitary for a month.

"This is all the fault of my worthless, honourless son!" cried Genma for the millionth time since he had gotten here.

-Splat!-

"Oops, put a little too much force into sliding the plate in, lieutenant!" apologised the pimply-faced guard, who had only started working here a week ago and was still learning.

"Don't worry, that fat tub of lard needs to be put on a diet," groused the senior officer.

In his dark cell, Genma expelled tears into the mashed potatoes that decorated his face. They expected him to lose more weight? He had already lost ten pounds since Kasumi left the house! He was not crying, that would not be manly.

-Sniffle-

"My meal …"


In Nerima, Kodachi Kuno was pining after her dearly departed Ranma-Sama. He had died a heroic death, battling the pervert demon known as Happosai, and would be missed.

On her wall, a giant poster of Ranma in battle with her brother, that blind Chinese man, that brute with the fangs and the pervert demon. He was clearly the victorious one.

According to custom, though she wasn't clear on which culture it was from, a black strip of cloth was crossing the upper left corner of the poster, representing her mourning over the heroic figure in it.

Her Ranma-Sama may not have gotten a funeral yet, due to those pencil-pushing bureaucrats in the government, but when he did get one, she would be there to speak about how great he was, and how much he loved her.

Kodachi was tempted to join her love in death, but the thought of what her insane family would make of the Kuno name halted her decision in the matter. No, she was certain Ranma-Sama would understand that she was needed to maintain her family honour through her own flawless ideals.

"Perhaps it is time to start spicing my family's food to bring them under control," mused the dark-headed beauty. "My control, that is. Ohohohohoho!"


Meanwhile in the outback of Australia, Ryoga and Akane were standing over a map of America.

"I'm telling you, we're in Sahara!" argued Ryoga stubbornly. Who did she think she was to come here and tell him he's lost, he knew exactly where he was.

"Ryoga, you baka," replied Akane sweetly. This was odd. "We're in Siberia! There isn't much plant-life in Sahara!"

To clarify the oddness of the situation, let us review some history.

Only days after Ranma's death, Akane joined Ryoga in his quest to find a means to make Ranma's afterlife even worse. Her own quest was to find Nabiki and Kasumi and make them come home so things could go back to normal.

Not even a day after she joined him on his quest, Akane had discovered Ryoga's curse when P-chan had appeared and poured hot water over himself, and after being restrained from beating him senseless, at which time he explained things to her, she too realised that it was all Ranma's fault.

It had taken her almost another day to forgive him for keeping this from her.

Over the next week, she had grown close to Ryoga as they travelled the globe, and only two days before where we came in, they had consummated their relationship. Again, and again, and again. The superior stamina of Martial Artists was nothing to scoff at in this context.

Now, Akane's quest was altered only a little. She now wanted to find her sisters so they could keep her house while she and her husband were out on the occasional training trip, and taking care of them when they were home. That had always been their job within the family, so that was how it was supposed to be.

Unfortunately, if it was upon the physical declaration of love and intended lifelong partnership or not didn't matter, the Hibiki family curse had rubbed off on her, and her sense of direction was now as poor as or worse than Ryoga's, which was the reason they were standing in the great outback, arguing over which continent they were on.


In the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, a trio of rats were deposited through a teleportation portal into a dumpster behind a Chinese Restaurant.

"OW!" the three managed to moan.

"Eeeeew!" complained Moisha. "It, like, stinks in here!"

"How come we always get deposited in such terrible locations?" wondered Romeo.

"Because you were f#&ing leering at the woman mage's chest while we were negotiating the price of the teleportation, you f#&ing pervert!"

"Shhh!" hissed Moisha. "Like, I think someone's, y' know, coming!"

"Ugh, those pigs!" groaned a girl. "Why can't the customers finish their meals like normal people? There's always so many leftovers to throw out at the end of the day!"

"Maybe your mother's cooking is the reason?" suggested the elder boy playfully.

"Sek si!" growled the girl.

"Why not, must taste better than your mother's cooking!" laughed the boy.

The girl dumped the large bucket of cold and smelly leftovers into the dumpster, making sure to spread it evenly. The last time she had not done this, the stuff had overflowed on one side, spilling over her shoes. It had taken forever to get the smell out and they still felt dirty.

She thought she heard someone moaning in disgust, but after the first time she had thought that, right after having seen some show where the main characters had hid in a dumpster and got soaked in disgusting refuse, she wasn't going to look in again. The sight of the inside of this dumpster always churned her stomach.

With a disgusted groan, the girl returned to the inside of the restaurant, stopping only to stuff the dirty bucket onto the annoying boy's head and give him a kick in the shins to make him lose his balance.

-Crash!-

"You clumsy oaf! Stop playing around and get back to cleaning those utensils!" barked an old man at the boy. His granddaughter was of course not to blame for the mess.

The door closed, on the noisy kitchen and the three rats allowed themselves to release their reactions.

"Eeeeeew!"

"I feel so disgusting!" complained Romeo.

"Like, you always were!" commented Moisha, trying to overcome her queasy feeling. There was no reason to add to their already soiled state.

Ignoring the jibe at his person, Romeo continued. "Why are we here? I thought we weren't allowed to return until we had taken care of the werecat?"

"We weren't, you f#&, but since we can't find him, I thought it would be for the best to seek out the only other real f#&ing enemy we had and get rid of her, so we at least have f#&ing something to give Lord Gothwrain!"

"Right, like, a peace offering for not completing our, y' know, mission!"

"Better than nothing, I guess," sighed Romeo.

"Like, where do we get, y' know, cleaned up?"

"Wherever the f#& it is, this f#&ing perv isn't going to be with us!"


Elsewhere in Atlanta, Lord Talon was addressing his hired hands.

"Alright, you saw them at the banquet," said Peewee, looking pointedly at Daishi. "These people are your targets!"

-Click!-

A slide projected onto the white wall of his lab, depicting the all too familiar werecheetah sitting at the same banquet table as a group of people. The werecheetah and a man with dark hair and Asian features were marked with a red ring around them.

-Click!-

Another image slid into place, replacing the previous with an image of the same werecheetah sparring with a short, unknown werecat with black fur.

"The new target's name is Ranma Koki, inventor of the Stuff-Space generator, and is currently residing with the Diggers sisters for reasons unknown," explained Peewee. "He, although he may be a fellow scientist, is a werecreature, and I must have a sample of his DNA! That is where you come in," he added, pointing at his three employees in turn. "You will approach him and Mrs 'Gia about obtaining those samples, if they are unwilling to cooperate, you may use force, or if the situation escalates to desperate levels, use silver weapons to persuade them. I'm sure they would be more than happy to help if you do this."

"I do wish you had damned the expense and gone for moving images, my Lord," hissed Daishi. "From the still images, it is not possible to properly determine the skill of this new target." To be honest, he hardly remembered the night of the banquet, thanks to the fight with Monty, and could not remember having seen this young man there. He only remembered with horror the fight with Monty, or rather, the end of it … the horror!

"No sweat," snorted Zelda arrogantly. "The guy's a pushover, all scientists are in a real fight! Just make sure he doesn't get the chance to get any weapons or anything!"

"I would have preferred to have seen the man in person before making any judgements," commented Ionis. "You should have brought me to the banquet, Lord Talon, and I would know how big a threat he is."

"What's with the sudden wimpy attitude?" demanded Zelda. "We just do like we normally do only to this guy, and hold him as a hostage to get the werecheetah to fight fairly instead of cheating!"

There was a moment of silence as the group thought it over.

"Very well," agreed Daishi. "It is time to pay the Diggers' back for losing us the quiz show with the Djinni!"

"Excellent!" said Peewee in a fair imitation of that yellow, rich, old man from that animation series named after the family it is about. "Bwahahahahahahaha!"

Ah, yes, the evil cackle … the best part of being a villain …

"Peewee!" snapped a stern female voice from behind, shaking said ten year old scientist from his laughter.

"Uh oh!"

"What did I say about staying up so late with your little friends?" asked the woman, placing her fists at her hips. "Your curfew was three hours ago!"

The evil little boy's cries of not embarrassing him in front of his minions were ignored as Peewee's mother pulled him along by the ear. It was bedtime.


Author's Notes; Another chapter revised … not much was changed, but a few words here and there, as well as a couple of sentences rephrased can make a world of difference.

If you do not know the entire series, then I recommend you seek out where the series can be found. Both Ranma and Gold Digger are excellent series on their own, and I highly recommend them to any who have yet to read them.

Translation; "Sek si," according to The Little Book of Essential Foreign Insults, by Emma Burgess, this is Chinese for "Eat Shit!" If this is incorrect, please inform me so that I may correct it.