I.K. – 11/01 Sat. – 12:02 am

The shock was so evident in Cirucci's widened eyes that it practically radiated off of her as she stared.

As for Ichigo, he was speechless. Not that he could have spoken anyway, even if he did have the words. Grimmjow was kissing him, and his first thought was to shove him away, but it kind of felt good, and for a while he just let Grimmjow work the magic in his mouth.

All of a sudden, the girl grabbed Grimmjow's shoulder, twisting him around. Ichigo was left panting, eyes round and bulging, only just realizing he'd been holding his breath the entire time they'd been kissing.

A slap echoed through the dimly lit alleyway, the girl having smashed her hand against Grimmjow's cheek as hard as she could. It looked painful; it would probably create a bruise.

"You're an asshole," she whispered, her voice quivering.

But Grimmjow stood firm without a word, and the girl stomped back into the club, tears shining in her eyes.

Grimmjow heaved out a deep breath and leaned back on the brick wall beside Ichigo. His eyes were closed and his chest was slowly rising and falling, catching his breath. Ichigo was staring before he knew it.

"Gri—"

"Sorry. I just wanted her to stop. I didn't mean to do any of… that."

A pang of disappointment rippled through Ichigo's conscience. He had no clue why – perhaps at the prospect of being a mere tool for Grimmjow? It was cold. Maybe he should have brought his… cape. He'd left it back inside, slung over the top of a cushioned seat, and he was beginning to think perhaps that had been a mistake. Sure, it was a little embarrassing to wear it around outside, but it was cold. Besides, everyone was wearing some kind of ridiculous outfit, so why not?

"Oh. Yeah. That's cool." Friends were supposed to help each other out. No problem.

But hadn't this happened before as well? When Grimmjow kissed him in their dorm room the night he came back really late? He'd apologized, told him he was only turning off Ichigo's music for him, but Ichigo knew what he'd seen, what he'd felt. Unless… all that had only been a fragment of his imagination, or even a dream. He honestly had been half asleep when it happened, much too groggy to further debate upon the matter.

The silence was crushing. The two leaned against the brick wall at respective distances, Ichigo wondering when he should be taking his leave but feeling much too awkward to do anything except think about doing something. He opened his mouth several times, about to speak, but always decided against it in the end and shut his mouth before his voice could escape.

"Ah, fuck it…"

Grimmjow was the first one to speak, even though it was a swear word. Ichigo turned his head, glad that at least the silence had finally been broken.

He hadn't expected chapped lips to slam onto his own, firm fingers gripping his chin and a hand on the back of his head. Grimmjow pushed him up against the wall, hands moving to hold Ichigo's wrists up instead of squeezing his neck. Ichigo squirmed, eyes open and wide, for a second, forgetting to breathe through his nose. Grimmjow's eyes were closed, however, and soon Ichigo stilled, just watching his roommate kiss him from the closest proximity ever.

It felt good.

Grimmjow finally pulled away, his eyes burning with a ferocity Ichigo had never seen before. Blue hair was tousled and messy, the usual gel wearing off. His shirt – his costume, that is – looked hot on him, all torn and vintage-like.

Ichigo was about to speak when Grimmjow pushed off the wall, slowly sinking until he was crouching on the ground, fingers tangling with his hair and practically tearing it off his skull. No, it actually looked like he was planning to make himself go bald.

"Hey – dude, Grimm – hey, stop it – you're gonna have a fucking bald spot if you keep that up! Stop it!" Ichigo grabbed Grimmjow's wrists and yanked them away from his head. "I said stop!"

Azure orbs stared back up at him, and it was just the most pathetic sight he'd seen of Grimmjow. Ever.

"Jesus Christ. What's your problem, man?"

And then Grimmjow exploded.

"What's my problem? What is my fucking problem? That's what I wanna know! And what the hell's your fucking problem? I just kissed you! Hell, I just kissed the guy I've been crushing on for a while now, and WHAT'S MY PROBLEM? Ichigo, I'm in love with you, you dipshit! I just told you that! I just told Cirucci that! My first excuse for a kiss was an impossibly lame apology, and I even used Cirucci for that! Fuck, just look at me. I'm confessing to the guy I like using swear words and cursing my fucking head off and I honestly never expected to come off as such a pathetic excuse of a man, but here I am now and this is just not how I expected the night to go, much less how I expected my confession to go because this is just so freaking different from how I imagined I would do this and—"

Grimmjow suddenly stopped talking when their eyes met, biting his lip to cut himself off. He dropped his head and stared at the ground, fidgeting restlessly. Ichigo thought he heard him curse one last time.

Ichigo's head was swarming with incoherent thoughts. What was he supposed to do in such a situation? Was there an eHow on how to deal with such awkward circumstances? Even if there was, it wouldn't be much use help for Ichigo now, would it?

"Um," he began, but Grimmjow cut him off by raising a hand.

"Wait, stop," he said, eyes squeezed shut. "Don't say anything yet." Ichigo shut his mouth then, and waited as Grimmjow pulled in a deep breath.

"I… wanted to do it properly." The normally confident man did not even glance up from where he was squatting on the ground. "Shit, I messed up," he muttered, fingers back in his hair. Ichigo worried he might start pulling at it again, but he didn't. "Sorry. I just… I didn't want to do this yet. I was scared. I am scared. Maybe. I mean, you'd get scared too if you were planning to tell your crush you like him. And the person could completely reject you. Or maybe you don't get scared; maybe it's just me. I mean, I wouldn't even know because this is the first time I've felt this way, and I'm absolutely positive I sound unbelievably corny right now, but for some reason I honestly don't care, and… it's fucking crazy, man. I mean, if you say no, I… don't even know."

All… this. All this was more than a little bit overwhelming. Ichigo desperately fished for something to say, but nothing seemed right. So they sat there for a little while, squatting and watching a trail of ants scuttle by.

"You don't have to answer right away." Once again, Grimmjow was the one to break the silence. "This isn't exactly the way I planned to do this anyway. I just… It just somehow…" The man never finished his sentence, for he abruptly stood up. Ichigo couldn't see his face from his current position, and it was hard to tell what Grimmjow was thinking when he spoke in such an insipid tone. "I'll catch ya later then."

A blast of music came from within the club when Grimmjow opened the door, but it was gone in a mere second as the door swung shut again.

Ichigo sat dumbfounded for a second before following the blue-haired man inside, hurriedly making his way through the crowds and back to the booth his friends were still at. Grimmjow was nowhere to be seen. Several of his friends were gone as well, probably either dancing or puking, but he leaned over the table to speak to the ones who remained.

"Did any of you see Grimmjow just now? Where'd he go?"

"I thought he was with you," Kiyone responded, supporting Hinamori - who seemed to be slumping from intoxication. Apparently, she was quite the lightweight when it came to alcohol.

Ichigo only nodded. He grabbed his vampire cloak, about to leave, when he remembered Renji, his stupid friend, still knocked out cold from the booze. He couldn't just leave the redhead there. Who knew when the party would end? Would there be anyone willing to take his drunken ass back to the dormitory? Ichigo didn't even have a car. Walking back to Clarken with such a heavy burden would not be an easy task.

Hence, Ichigo ended up staying at the club, naturally becoming the designated driver for the team. He had to resist the strong urge to go and look for Grimmjow, and soon he was beginning to wonder if all that back in the alleyway had even happened.


G.J. – 11/01 Sat. – 12:23 am

Fucking crazy, he was. What had he been thinking? Their relationship was as good as over now. And why? Because he was a moron.

Grimmjow swung by their dorm to pick up a pair of clothes and his homework, tossing his phone onto his bed before leaving the room.

He walked for quite a bit, and wondered if maybe he should have called first in order to let his friend know he was coming over, and that he should come and pick him up. Grimmjow reached his destination soon enough, however, not too breathless at all.

"Grimmjow?"

Two beady eyes peered out at Grimmjow when he knocked on the front door. He'd been careful not to ring the doorbell, for he knew the baby of the house would be fast asleep.

"Yeah."

The door swung wide open, revealing a huge, burly man the size of a grizzly bear. Black hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, when just a year or two ago it had been up in crazy wild spikes only Kenpachi Zaraki could pull off.

"Why're ya dressed like that?"

"Let me crash at your place tonight," Grimmjow said, his voice tired and dejected.

Kenpachi looked concerned, but suspicious. "C'mon, man, I got settled. I have a kid now." Grimmjow knew what he meant. Kenpachi had been involved in some serious shit before, running around and making all kinds of trouble with Grimmjow. In fact, the man had been the one to teach him such things in the first place, and Grimmjow had adapted. Kenpachi met a woman, however: a beautiful woman with bright pink hair named Kuna. When she got pregnant, Kenpachi calmed down and pulled himself out of the dark, Grimmjow following suit not long afterwards. Other than his adopted parents, Kenpachi was the one who Grimmjow truly looked up to.

"I'm not being chased or anything, I swear. Just personal issues. Really."

Then, without a moment of hesitation, Kenpachi let him in, fishing out a spare blanket and pillow for Grimmjow as the younger settled on the couch. The man looked gruff and more than a little bit frightening, but if you got on his good side, he was actually a good man who knew how to deal with all kinds of problems.

"G'night, then," Kenpachi said, about to leave, when Grimmjow grabbed his arm.

"Thanks, man," he said with an apologetic grin, which Kenpachi returned with full feeling. It was almost like back in the old days.

"Any time, buddy," he assured, but then paused with a frown. "Unless you're involved in some kind of criminal shit. I don't want that in my life no more, ya got that?"

"Right, right."

"What happened, though? You all right, kid?"

"Yeah, really, I'm fine. Just a lot goin' on, that's it."

"A'ight, then. Oh, and Yachiru just might be real damn excited to see you."

Grimmjow laughed, suddenly missing the little pink-haired devil Kenpachi called his daughter.

The large man shut the lights off before heading upstairs to his own bedroom, and Grimmjow was left to his own thoughts.

He'd probably lost Ichigo. Once he had begun speaking, the words just would not stop flowing from his mouth, and now he'd messed up, letting everything out all at once and probably scaring Ichigo away. But every single word he'd said had been true. The only problem then was how Ichigo would take that – Ichigo, whose sexual orientation was painfully clear, even to Grimmjow. The man was obviously straight. Grimmjow could not deny the fact.

And Cirucci? He'd probably lost her too. They'd been friends since junior high, and he knew she liked him since their second year of high school. They'd started dating during junior year, but broke up before graduation. They were in the same university now, and although things were quite clearly over between them, Grimmjow knew Cirucci still had lingering feelings for him. She'd mentioned that before, but Grimmjow had only shaken his head, apologizing for that fact that he could not return such feelings anymore. They'd remained as friends, but now, he wasn't so sure.

Cirucci was a good person. Sure, she wore a helluva lot of makeup, but looks had never really meant much to Grimmjow. She was sassy, but if one truly knew her well, she was caring and sweet and extremely hard working.

Before his mind could plunge him into a time he did not want to revisit, Grimmjow stood and ambled over to the restroom. He looked terrible. Blue hair was messy and sticking up all over the place, azure eyes were tired and lifeless, and normally tan skin looked paler than usual. Perhaps it was only the fluorescent light in the bathroom, but no matter. Kenpachi wouldn't mind him taking a simple shower. So, he flung off his clothes and used hot water and soap to rub off the stitches drawn all over his body, which had already begun to smudge anyway. He thoroughly scrubbed every single thing there was to scrub. He probably hadn't washed up so well in a long time.

Steam rose from the shower as Grimmjow stepped out, the sudden blast of cool air hitting him nice and hard. He wrapped a towel around himself as he looked into the mirror once again to see that he did indeed look much better. He was still tired as hell, but this was nothing compared to the desperation he had been feeling earlier. A long, hot shower sure did wonders to people.

He was only running away, and he knew it. Although completely unintentional, he had confessed to Ichigo at last, but he had fled from the site. He'd been afraid. He was still afraid. He had no clue what exactly Ichigo had to say about the case. He wanted to hear it, of course, but he was frightened to death at the same time. If Ichigo flat-out rejected him, he didn't know what he would do with himself. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain such rejection would most likely cause, and he didn't want to think about it, much less actually experience it.

Jesus, he wasn't being himself today.

Grimmjow pulled on the army green boxers he'd brought from his dorm room and slipped into his makeshift bed, delighting in the small comfort the couch offered for his exhausted body. He had thought trying to fall asleep would be extremely difficult, but heavy slumber consumed him almost as soon as he yanked the blanket over his head, sending him into a random series of dreams so terrifyingly realistic that he wasn't even sure if it had, in fact, truly happened.

III

He could have sworn he'd only slept for half an hour when he was woken by a high-pitched squeal, piercing through his eardrums. Grimmjow groaned and shifted slightly, hoping to return to his peaceful slumber, when an unidentified flying object leapt on top of him, nearly knocking the wind out of his lungs. At last, Grimmjow cracked a bleary blue eye open to see what the hell was making such a ruckus first thing in the morning, when bright pink blurred his already fuzzy vision. Pink?

He cracked a grin when he finally recognized the huge eyes staring eagerly at him, and yanked the little girl into his arms.

"Surprise attack! Retreat!" The girl shrieked, laughing her tiny lungs out as Grimmjow tickled her, and soon, Kenpachi and his wife dashed down to see what was going on.

"Hey, Kuna, how've ya been? Sorry for barging in like this, but…" He trailed off with an uncertain shrug at the end, addressing the nightgown-clad woman standing next to Kenpachi.

"Aw, come on, Grimmjow-kun. It's so good to see you again!" Kuna chirped, her voice upbeat and cheery as usual. Why somebody as bright and sunny as Kuna liked someone so looming and dark as Kenpachi, Grimmjow would never know. Opposites attract, he thought to himself.

Grimmjow would have replied with something else polite to say, but Yachiru beat him to it, yanking on his bed-head to divert his attention back to her once more. Grimmjow only laughed and assented, listening to her yap about school morons and the various types of kitchen knives because there really wasn't anything such a little girl could do to truly harm him. Yet.

"You like your eggs scrambled, right?" Kuna asked as she pulled on a stained, once-white apron and gathered her short pink hair into a small, stubby ponytail. She wasn't particularly short; she was actually rather lanky and very well proportioned, but of course, everyone looked petite next to Kenpachi.

"Yeah, scrambled." Grimmjow smiled, missing the time back when he would always wake up like this with Kenpachi, and Kuna would make them breakfast each morning. Except, Yachiru hadn't existed back then.

"And… bacon, right?" Kuna skillfully cracked an egg, its contents drooling into the fry pan she'd been heating up. Kenpachi lumbered over and took a seat next to Grimmjow, easily hefting his daughter from the younger man's laps and onto his own, relieving the bluenette from the continuous pinches and pulls Yachiru insisted she perform on him. Grateful, he took the chance to pull on a shirt and a pair of gym shorts he'd brought from back home.

"Yup, bacon. Thanks, Kuna." The woman nodded with a grin and set to work, asking each of her family members for their own orders as well.

Something big, something important was nagging at the back of his mind, and Grimmjow knew what it was. Ichigo. Of course, what else would it be? Ichigo was the only thing on his mind. And it was severely depressing. It was even worse than the time his high school teacher had told him about his failing grades, or even the time he had been told he would be serving the basketball team as a benchwarmer for the rest of that season. This was so much worse.

"… kun. Grimmjow-kun?"

"Ah? Oh, sorry, what was that last part?" He must have been spacing out. Quickly jerked back into reality, Grimmjow noticed everyone was already at the dining table, an extra chair pulled in from another room.

"Breakfast is ready." Kuna spoke slowly, concern lacing her voice. It looked as if she wanted to ask what exactly had brought Grimmjow over to their humble home, but he decided not to acknowledge her questioning glance, instead silently sauntering over to sit down.

All through the meal, Yachiru yapped on and on about whatever seemed to leap into her unfocused mind at that very second. In all frankness, Grimmjow was grateful for her jabbering – her talking meant that he didn't need to do any.

Thinking about it, he couldn't stay here forever. One night was plenty. At the immediate moment, however, Grimmjow really didn't have anywhere else to go. His parents would be asking an endless amount of questions, a different dorm room would probably be no help at all, and Nnoitra would just get him involved in shit he no longer wanted to deal with – ever. And Nel? Nel was going to get married. She lived with her fiancé, for fuck's sake. He certainly did not want to be someone who would just barge into an engaged couple's home and ask them to let him freeload at their place.

When Grimmjow glanced up from silently munching on a piece of bacon, he noticed the entire family staring at him. Kenpachi raised an eyebrow at him.

Shoot, he'd missed something. Again.

This was going to be one long weekend.


Well, I'm insecure, but hope you enjoyed nonetheless! And hope you didn't feel as though either Grimm or Ichi was being too out of character... I tried my best :(

Sorry for updating at such wide intervals, but my beta just took SO DAMN LONG this time...

Naw, kidding. Padt06? She's awesome. Thanks as always.

Review?

[ Jou ]