Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Caitlin and the plot are mine, though.
Chapter 17: The Chunin Exams Begin
"I don't need that Uchiha kid... Because there's no fun in teaching a prodigy that was born perfect."
~Jiraiya~
"I want that cat and that cat," Caitlin said looking at the brown female tabby and the black male cat.
The owner gave her the cats as she paid the money for them, walking out of the store with a cat under each arm. Naruto had edged away from her, and was staring at the black cat.
"So, what are you going to name them?" Sasuke asked.
Caitlin sort of wiggled the brown one, and said, "I'm naming this one Hashirama, and the other one Madara. They're going to have adorable kittens together."
Sasuke was staring at her with horror, and even Naruto was giving her a weird look. "You know, I think Madara hates me," Naruto randomly said.
"Dobe, I think both of them hate you. Who would like you anyways?" Sasuke said, trying to rile Naruto up.
"TEME!" Naruto snarled as he lunged at him and they began to wrestle in the middle of the street.
Boys will be boys, I suppose...
"You guys, I'm gonna go put the cats up and then train with Gai-sensei and Lee," Caitlin said as she turned and left them there.
Naruto and Sasuke stopped fighting and stared at one another. "One of these days, she's gonna come back from one of those training sessions as a Gai clone, like Lee did," Naruto stated.
Sasuke groaned. "Either that, or a Kakashi-sensei clone."
"Truthfully, I'm hoping for the Gai clone," Naruto stated. When Sasuke gave him a weird look, he shrugged. "I'd rather her have a questionable fashion taste than read porn."
x~x~x
Caitlin stretched as far as she could, going slightly beyond her toes. "So, finally decided to show up?" the blonde girl asked as Naruto and Sasuke entered the training grounds, a little worse for wear. Gai was observing a spar between Neji and Lee, while Tenten was stretching with Caitlin.
"Oops?" Naruto said, an embarrassed grin on his face.
"Come on dobe, we need to train," Sasuke said as he began the stretches just as Caitlin and Tenten finished theirs and started on their katas.
"So, have you started using senbon yet?" Tenten questioned Caitlin.
"Not yet, but I planned to start today," the younger girl answered.
"Good," Tenten replied. "Can you mix me up some more of that paralytic poison for my weapons? It's a good way to defeat Neji and Lee in our spars."
"Sure, but don't become too dependent on it. It's not very advanced, so anyone above Chunin will be immune to it," Caitlin said.
"Good to know," Tenten said. "But by then, you'll be even better at mixing that crap up, so I won't have to worry."
Caitlin smiled. "True, I suppose, unless something happened to me or I decided that I wasn't going to work with poisons anymore, which isn't about to happen any time soon."
They sparred for the rest of the day, since Caitlin was trying to improve her ability with her scythe and her senbon. She was decent with her scythe, but she kept pricking herself with her senbon, which made it more difficult to grip her scythe afterwards. Pricking senbon was also dangerous in the field because they would most likely be poisoned. We were lucky Haku's senbon wasn't poisoned.
Caitlin lost the spar, but she had been expecting that. She wasn't sparring to win, she was sparring to improve.
"You're getting pretty good with your scythe. I've noticed that using it wears you out pretty quick, so tomorrow you might want to work on upper body strength," Tenten explained to the younger girl, who she viewed as a little sister of sorts.
"I'll do that," Caitlin answered, smiling at the brunette as she waved good-bye, already at her apartment.
"You'd better," Tenten called as she disappeared into the night.
x~x~x
Sheesh... I can't believe that we might be chunin soon. It seems too soon. Caitlin was nervous, really nervous about the upcoming exams. Strong on the surface, her teammates were also nervous beneath their very different facades.
Their sensei was pushing them harder than ever, seeming to believe that they could pass. He made them get up earlier than he ever had, knowing that they would be on time and wait on him by training their time away. After that, it was onto team exercises.
Kakashi tossed to Sasuke what looked exactly like a sex doll with underclothing and red lips. Naruto almost burst into laughter, and slight snickers could be heard from behind their female teammate's hand.
"Today, my cute little genin, we are practicing team work. You are to protect that doll from my attacks, and the doll cannot be moved from that circle of kunai to your left. If one of my attacks against the 'client' succeeds, you fail," Kakashi explained. "Now, begin."
The silver haired ninja disappeared, and the genin surround the doll. Caitlin's green eyes flickered back and forth, waiting for an attack from their sensei. Finally, one came, but it was at Naruto instead of her.
A silver kunai was thrown by Kakashi from a bush to Naruto's left, barely blocked by Naruto's own kunai. Another one came at Naruto, this time from a different bush the same time one was thrown from the bush from before.
Sasuke, sick and tired of his hidden sensei, used a katon jutsu to destroy the bush that had first hidden Kakashi. The bush burst into colorful flames, but there was no fried sensei…
Caitlin felt her ankle grabbed, and lost hold of her scythe as she was pulled neck deep into the earth. "Seriously?" Caitlin demanded as Naruto started to try to dig her out. Kakashi, seeing an opening, aimed a kick at Sasuke's head, which was dodged, before throwing a kunai at the doll. Naruto deflected it, abandoning Caitlin in the ground.
"You have horrible luck, Caitlin-chan," Naruto muttered as he finally managed to dig her out while Sasuke defended the doll from Kakashi's many thrown kunai. He was going easy on them while Caitlin was incapacitated. Caitlin, finally freed, picked up her scythe and sliced towards her sensei as he came at her. She missed, but it kept him away from the doll.
"When is this supposed to end?" Sasuke muttered.
"I don't think he put a time limit to it," Caitlin admitted as she once again tried to land an attack on her annoying sensei.
"Well, I can do this all day," Naruto snarled as he pulled away from the circle, creating a bunch of clones as he went, which all jumped Kakashi, kunai ready. None of them landed a single hit, but it was a good try.
Caitlin decided right then to charge him since he was still recovering from Naruto's attack. Naruto was back in the circle, taking her place as she went. Her scythe made a shimmering arc through the air before her sensei stopped it with a kunai. Caitlin jerked her scythe towards his face, causing him to step back and drop his kunai in order to keep his face normal. Faster than she could see, he crouched down and grabbed his kunai off the ground, whipping her legs out from under her as he did.
"Shit!" Caitlin cursed as she fell on her butt.
"You know, such words shouldn't come out of young ladies' mouths," Kakashi stated as he cheerfully turned a page in his book, completely serene.
Caitlin growled, but didn't leap forward like she wanted to. She knew her attack wouldn't connect anyway, and it would leave the doll defenseless on one side. She backed away, towards the doll just as Sasuke was attacked. His legs, too, were swept out from underneath him, and, with a flourish, Kakashi shoved a kunai in the doll's head.
"Damn it!" Naruto and Sasuke yelled in unison. Caitlin sighed at the expected defeat. She knew it would happen, but it didn't make the failure sting any less. I've got a long way to go before I'm anywhere near sensei's level. Hell, I've got a long way to go before I'm even Haku's level...
x~x~x
Caitlin watched the boy in green spandex curiously. He's downplaying his skills... The Lee I know would have beat them in seconds.
"You're just a little kid," one of the chunin snarled. Caitlin paused, watching the door. Not the right floor...
"Please let us through," Tenten begged the chunin, acting very well the part of the pleading kunoichi. For her troubles, she was kneed in the face. Caitlin winced. That had to hurt.
"How horrible," someone in the crowd muttered as Caitlin signaled to her teammates to follow her. They silently walked up the stairs to the next floor, Caitlin nodding to Tenten and Lee as she went.
"Let's try not to draw attention to ourselves, alright?" Caitlin asked the boys as they walked down the long hall.
"I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything. I'm just too awesome to keep hidden for long," Naruto stated, smirking.
"Hn. It seems the dobe will never learn the art of subtlety," Sasuke said, an almost identical smirk on his face.
"Hey! I so can!" Naruto snapped.
"Then talk less loud," Caitlin informed her teammate. "That would help a lot."
x~x~x
I have a bad feeling about these exams... The last time I had this feeling... Caitlin shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. I need to be level headed to take this exam. It will be easy for me and maybe Sasuke, but Naruto...
She looked worriedly at Naruto, who seemed to be panicking. Caitlin was already half way finished with her test, and she doubted Naruto had been able to answer a single question. Caitlin finished her test, just as a thought hit her. She quickly erased her own name and put Naruto's.
Standing up, she ignored the gaping looks as she went to Naruto's seat and switched tests with him. The proctor stared, and then laughed.
"I'll accept that option, but no one else may copy her!" Ibiki snapped. "You're lucky kid that I was in a good mood."
Oh. Awesome, it worked!
Finally, the last question was given to them. "Now, then, if you're ready, the tenth and final question. Those who don't want to take it, raise your hand. Your number will be recorded, and then you're free to go."
Caitlin quietly thought. How can he have the power to keep us a genin forever? I doubt he does have that power, and is just trying to screw with our heads, and get rid of the ones that aren't willing to risk it all.
Numerous hands were raised, and then Naruto's hand went up. Caitlin felt all of the breath leave her in a giant whoosh. He fell for the trick...
His hand shook violently, right before it slammed right onto the desk in front of him. "Don't underestimate me!" the blonde boy shouted. "I don't quit and I don't run! You can act tough all you want, but you guys aren't gonna scare me off! No way! I don't care if I do get stuck as a genin for the rest of my life, I'll still be Hokage someday!" By now, Naruto was standing up in his anger.
Speech finished, the boy sat back down in his sit, Hinata staring at him with admiration. Sheesh, I really need to do something about that. It's just that Naruto never understands my hints when I talk to him about Hinata. And while they would be adorable, Naruto is just so different and loud…
Ibiki began to speak again. "This decision is one that could change your life. If for any reason, you would rather quit, now's your last chance."
Naruto looked the proctor straight in the eye as he said, "No way, I never go back on my word. That's my ninja way." These words seemed to give strength to the remaining genin, none of which rose their hands.
After waiting a bit to see if anyone else would give up, Ibiki declared, "Well, then, I like your determination, if nothing else. For those of you remaining, there's only one thing left to do, and that's for me to tell you, that you've all passed the first exam."
"Where's the tenth question, then?" one of the genin asked.
Ibiki laughed. "There never was one. Not a written one, anyway. Actually, your decision to stay was the answer to the tenth question."
"Wait a second," demanded a blonde sand kunoichi. "So the other nine questions you gave us were just a waste of time?! Is that what you're saying?"
"Oh, no, not at all," the scarred proctor chuckled. "Quite the opposite. The first nine questions had an important purpose: to test your ability to gather strategic intelligence under the most adverse circumstances."
"Oh, well that clears up everything," the blond ninja said.
"Let me explain," Ibiki began. "You see, my objective was to test you not only as individuals, but as a team, and how well you functioned as a part of that team. That's why the test was scored on a team basis, so you'd know that everything you did, or failed to do, would directly affect your teammates. I wanted to see how you'd handle the pressure."
Naruto nodded his head. "Mhm. Yeah, I figured it was something like that. It's why I kept my cool."
Caitlin raised an eyebrow and shared a look with Sasuke, but made no comment. We're gonna have to teach him when to stay quiet. It's like potty training a puppy dog that has already decided that that one place in the corner is his area to use the bathroom...
Ibiki continued. "The first nine questions on the test were difficult. In fact, as you may have realized, too difficult for any genin to be expected to solve. I imagine that most of you quickly came to that conclusion that you'd have to cheat if you wanted to have any chance of passing. The fact is, the test is designed to encourage cheating. It almost demanded it. Of course, it would have done you little good unless you had someone to cheat from. So I disguised two chunin that knew the answers, and had them sit in with you."
Naruto laughed after having a mild panic attack. "Oh come on, I wasn't fooled for a second. You had to be a complete doofus not to see it. Isn't that right, Hinata?" he asked the blushing girl.
"Those that were caught at it, failed. Better not to cheat than to cheat clumsily. Information: it can be the most valuable weapon in battle," Ibiki stated as he took off his forehead protector, revealing numerous scars. "How well you can gather information in a battle can help you determine whether a mission is a failure or a success. There'll be times you have to risk your life to get it."
He tied the object back around his head. "Of course, you must always consider the source of your information. Intelligence gathered from an enemy is not necessarily accurate. Always bear this in mind. Disinformation can be worse than no information at all. It can lead to the death of comrades, or the loss of a village. That's why I put you in the position where you had to gather accurate intelligence. Cheat, in order to survive. And that's why those not good enough at it were weeded out. Leaving the rest of you."
The blond Suna girl spoke up. "Okay, but I'm still not getting what the tenth question thing is all about."
Caitlin sighed, and decided to spare Ibiki from explaining to the slow blonde. "It was to test your resolve. In the field, you may have to die for your village or your mission. This was just a test of courage, to see if we're ready for it. The ones that left, obviously, are not."
Ibiki nodded. "She is correct. That is exactly the purpose of the tenth question. Those who choose the safer of two paths, those whose determination falters in the face of adversity, those who would put those comrades lives in jeopardy by worrying about their own, those who would save their own necks at the price of sacred honor will never be able to call themselves chunin, at least as long as I'm here. As for the rest of you, you have successfully answered the ten questions I put to you. You have earned the right to continue onto the next step. You have passed through the first gate. I hereby declare this part of the Chunin Selection Exam completed. There's nothing left but to wish you all good luck."
"All right! We did it! That's one down!" Naruto shouted, jumping up out of his seat to cheer happily.
Just then, someone burst in through the window, throwing kunai attached to a giant poster as they went. "Heads up boys and girls! This is no time to be celebrating. I'll be your next proctor. I'm Mitarashi Anko. Are you ready for the second test?" She didn't wait for an answer before sticking her fist in the air and shouting, "Good! Let's follow me!"
Omake
"SHE NAMED HER FUCKING CATS AFTER US!"
Hashirama sighed, and then replied, "Yes, she did. There's nothing we can do about it though. And at least your namesake is male. Mine's female."
"SHE PLANS ON HAVING US HAVE KITTENS TOGETHER!" Madara shouted, his face twisted with horror. He then paused. "Didn't your brother create a resurrection jutsu?"
"Yes, but I doubt anyone knows it. Or is stupid enough to bring one of us back. And it's not us that are having kittens together, it's the cats. Besides, I think the cats are cute," Hashirama stated.
"THEY ARE NOT CUTE! IT'S THE MOST DISTURBING THING I'VE SEEN IN FOREVER!" Madara shouted.
"Well, should we ever be resurrected, you can kill her, alright?" Hashirama asked.
Madara took a deep breath, as though he were going to shout again, but simply said, "Alright."
Question: What's your favorite animal?
My answer: …Dragons. I don't care if they're not real!
