Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, or Megan (She's nightheart777's wonderful creation who I'm borrowing for a little while). The plot is mine, though.
Chapter 18: The Prank War Begins
"You now, this assignment we've been given really doesn't mix well with my beliefs. Carnage is the key precept of the faith of Jashin… the dogma doesn't let me leave someone half dead.
~Hidan~
The Akatsuki were in chaos. They were all pranking each other. Hidan hadn't been allowed to sacrifice for the week, so he had been following Megan around in sheer boredom.
"Is a week over yet?"
"Moo," Megan replied, choosing to just continue on with her dare since there was no time limit to it and it at least made Hidan pause as he wondered what that certain moo translated into.
"I'm not fucking going away until I'm allowed to sacrifice again," Hidan informed her, smirking as she glared at him.
As they passed the kitchen as Kisame ran out. "You!" he snarled, pointing at Hidan.
Hidan burst into laughter. "Oh, Jashin! He really fell for it!"
x~x~x
"A prank war has started in the Akatsuki. Prank others at your own risk, but do not kill anyone. Or at least try not to kill anyone. Oh," Pain said. "Prank me, and you die." He left the room with a sweep of his cloak that strangely reminded Megan of a certain Harry Potter character.
Megan laughed evilly, and looking at Deidara, stated, "See you later, girlfriend!" as she disappeared to find Orochimaru's nude photos of Itachi to put them on the fridge.
Deidara stared at where she had been at. "Did she just call me a female?" he demanded in a very high pitched voice, which cause Hidan and Kisame to snicker, and then glare at each other.
"You two…" Konan trailed off, feeling like a mother with way too many kids.
Tobi left the room while this was happening, most likely to plan evil pranks. Or help Megan with hers. Probably both.
Soon enough, everyone had left while Kisame and Hidan argued. Finally, Kisame noticed.
"Where is everyone?" the blue man asked as he looked around.
"How the fuck should I know?" Hidan snarled at him, scowling.
Both the men scowled and went to their rooms to brood. Of course, brooding was the last thing on Kisame's mind when he saw his room. The walls were painted with fish, and very well drawn fish at that.
"Deidara!" he shrieked just as another scream, which he recognized as Megan's, came from down the hallway.
Footsteps pounding, he, Deidara, and Hidan both arrived at Megan's room where the girl was staring into her now very pink room with horror.
"How does Megan-chan like it? Tobi thinks it looks pretty," Tobi exclaimed.
Megan stared at her best friend. "Start running," she stated, causing Tobi to take off with Megan hot on his heels.
"But Tobi doesn't understand! Tobi thought the room was pretty!" Tobi yelled.
Hidan gaped at the pink room while Kisame glared at Deidara, who looked at extremely confused at Kisame's show of anger. "What happened?" the blonde man asked.
"Someone thought it would be funny to paint my room full of fish," Kisame stated.
"Oh, so that was why Megan was coming out of your room," Deidara murmured, finally understanding. "She likes to draw a lot, so that would be why there are fish covering your walls, un."
The shark-like man bared his teeth as he went running down the hall in the direction Megan had went. He would never catch up, but the man was going to at least try.
x~x~x
A truce was called for dinner, but not before Deidara got to Sasori's puppets and burned most of them. Sasori seemed to be in shock, and stared at his plate that Konan had filled with food that he couldn't eat. Kakuzu grumbled at the waste of money, but let it slide this once.
When Hidan walked in for lunch, his hair was a bright red. Everyone stared.
Kakuzu looked pissed off. "It was supposed to be pink!"
Megan snorted, "Moo! It's what you get for stealing my and Tobi's prank!"
"Yeah! Moo!" the masked man stated with a nod.
Hidan laughed. "Thanks, you fucking money whore. The color reminds me of blood."
Megan was smirking from where she sat beside Deidara. "Hey, Dei-chan, what do you use for your hair? It's so feminine and shiny," Megan said.
Deidara opened his mouth, and then closed it, turning red with rage. "Shut up, un," he snapped.
Tobi and Megan both giggled as Deidara growled and shook his fist at them, but didn't attack Tobi. He knew better than that by then. The first time Megan had seen him beat Tobi up she did the exact same thing to Deidara, and then broke all the fingers on both of his hands.
Dinner ended without incident, until Megan attempted to get out of her chair. Her bottom was firmly planted to the seat, no matter what she did. There was the tiniest hint of a smile to Itachi's face. "It's because of the letters I sent to you pretending to be Orochimaru, isn't it?" Megan asked.
"Hn," Itachi replied, which Megan took as a yes. Why can't Uchihas talk like normal people?
Because monosyllabic words are more mysterious. Stupid Uchihas and their ridiculous attempt at pretending to be in the category of the unknown. Only someone of my caliber could pull that off.
Megan snickered aloud at the Juubi's mini rant, and gained several strange looks, including one from a still dumbstruck Sasori. "Moo…"
I wonder why they think I'm laughing…
They most likely think you to be a crazed murdering psycho. I know I do.
Hush, you.
Hush yourself.
Tobi was panicking, and attempting to rip Megan off the seat, which only made her arms hurt as he pulled on them. "Lollipop, I think you're gonna rip off my arms."
"Oops. Tobi is sorry," the masked man replied in a sullen voice.
"Now, shoo, all of you," Konan stated as she waved her hand at them in dismissal. Soon, they were all gone, along with Konan, who came back a few minutes later with a new pair of pants for Megan, who she helped wiggle out of, breaking the chair in the process.
"Sheesh. Why could Itachi use glue that would be easy to get out of?" Megan complained.
"Because, not only did you put nude photos of him on the fridge, you sent him perverted letters pretending to be Orochimaru," Konan simply answered with a raised eyebrow. "Truthfully, I would have done worse. The poor kid probably has psychological damage now."
"Meh, he'll get over it," Megan replied, flopping her hand and shrugging.
Konan laughed. "I suppose he will."
x~x~x
"Shhh-He can't know we're here," the woman with the sparkling piercing whispered to her companion, who had bright blue stripes down her cheeks.
"I know, I know," Megan replied, tiptoeing around the blonde man's bed. Konan grinned cheekily at her as she silently used frayed, yet strong rope to tie Deidara to the bed. He didn't stir until the sound of the electric razors hit his ears.
He groaned and opened his eyes. Taking in the sight of two looming figures above him with strange instruments in hand, he yelped loudly.
Megan and Konan both snickered as they started on separate sides of his head, quickly and efficiently shaving his blonde head until no strand of hair was left. Megan gathered the bundle of yellow in her arms, and winking, walked out of the room with it.
"NO! My precious hair!" Deidara wailed as Konan untied him. "I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands! You're not worthy of becoming art, un!"
Konan quickly dodged the kunai and ran out of the room. She continued until she reached Pain's room, and raced into it, slamming the door shut beside her.
The sleeping man didn't wake at her loud entrance, already used to the chaos of the main Akatsuki base. Sighing, Konan locked the door and slipped into bed beside him, the silence seals on the door allowing her to not listen to Deidara's cries.
x~x~x
Snickering at the pouting Deidara, she tossed him his hair.
"It's wig now, to go on your poor shiny bald head. I hope you like it," Megan said winking at him as she carefully sat in her chair at the dining table. "Oh, and moo."
"I hate you, un," the now bald man stated as he quickly put the wig on. Sasori, who was already at the dining table, was smirking, enjoying their prank even more than the two women did. Konan was outright laughing as she made breakfast.
Megan suddenly caught sight of Deidara's hands and burst into laughter. Konan also saw them, and noticed that Sasori's smirk had grown.
Oh my Jashin! Look at Deidara's hands! Sasori must have put make-up on them!
Even I have to admit, this is hilarious. But what sort of ninja that was already attacked lets down his guard just to be pranked again?
I don't know, but I hope it happens again!
Deidara stared at his hands with horror and then rushed off to the bathroom, bumping into Itachi on the way, who raised his eyebrow when he saw Deidara's hands.
"Red lipstick looks good on you," he serenely stated, smirking slightly.
"I hate you, un!"
Question: Have you ever pulled a prank on someone, and if so, what was it?
My answer: I have pulled some pranks before, but a funny one from when I was little was when me and my sister found a huge can of paint. We covered our parents' room in paint. It was so bad that even the TV was covered with it. Then, we found our Mom's make-up, and put it on. Considering I was five at the time, I put it all over me, not just on my face. Whatever was left over was smeared all over the bathroom and on our dad, who was napping. He could sleep through anything. Now he wakes up at the slightest thing, so we can't prank him. ;)
