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CHAPTER 7
He looked so nervous. I wasn't at all sure I wanted to hear what he had to say about Tanya, but I knew I had to. So, I prepared myself for the unknown.
"Um, okay?" I agreed uncertainly.
He hesitated. "Well, about what, um … happened that day…"
"Edward, do we really need to do this," I protested. "I mean, that's in the past."
"No, Bella, it's not." He was shaking his head adamantly. "You need to know what actually happened that day. I didn't … God, Bells, I didn't cheat on you."
"Edward—" I started.
"No. You're gonna listen to me this time." He stood, pulling a hand through his hair. "I know it didn't look good, but I swear to God, I didn't cheat on you."
"You kissed her, Edward!" I hissed incredulously. "You told her you'd call her later! How the fuck isn't that cheating?"
Edward shook his head. "Yes, she kissed me, and you had every right to be pissed at that, but it wasn't what it looked like ..."
Now it was my turn to get frustrated and jump off the couch.
"It wasn't what it looked like?" I screamed. "It looked like your lips were attached to hers; your hands were on her hips! How is that not what it looked like?"
"Okay … God …" he groaned, pulling his hand through his hair and plopping back onto the couch. "I'm just going to start from the beginning. You remember James? My roommate?"
"Yes." I sighed. "But, what does that have to do—"
"—I'm trying to tell you," he interrupted. "Tanya is James' little sister. She was in her first year, and she was struggling a bit with Anatomy. Well, since I pretty much carried James though, he asked me if I'd be willing to work with her. I figured 'what the hell?' She was my best friend's sister, what harm could it do?"
I looked at him as if he'd lost his damn mind, it had only ruined our relationship, but he went on anyway, "Her final was that afternoon, and she stopped by so we could go over a few things before she took the exam. When she was leaving, she said she thought she'd actually pass the final, and thanked me. She knew I had a girlfriend, but she kissed me anyway. I was about to ask her what the hell she was doing when you caught her attention … I didn't welcome it Bella."
"Then why did you tell her you'd call her later? And why the hell were your hands on her?" I asked.
"I told her I'd call her because I was trying to get her to leave. I knew you wouldn't talk to me as long as she was still standing there. I was hoping if she left, you'd stay and listen to what had actually happened … and my hands were on her because I was trying to push her away."
Edward's eyes pleaded with me to believe him.
"She didn't leave," I whispered, trying to make sense of it all. "Why didn't she leave?"
"I … she … that's a whole other story in itself," he stuttered. "One I'll tell you, but I need to know what you're thinking about what I just told you … I swear I didn't cheat on you, Bella."
I shook my head. "Why didn't she leave, Edward?"
"Do you believe me?" he asked.
"Why didn't she leave, Edward?" I repeated.
Edward sighed. "Okay, I didn't know this then, I swear I didn't know, but she liked me…" he hesitated a second. "Apparently, she saw your car turn the corner when we walked out the door, and she thought you'd jump to the conclusion I was cheating on you—"
"How did she know what I drove?" I interrupted.
"Bella," Edward sighed. "I … she'd had a crush on me for awhile … I found out later she was pretty much stalking me …" he hesitated. "I can only assume she drove by while you were there … I mean she knew when you were visiting …"
"How did you not see this Edward?" I asked. "How could you not know she liked you, and how in the hell would she know when I was visiting? I mean, if you weren't seeing her—"
"—She didn't know every time you visited," Edward interrupted. "I had to reschedule a tutoring session with her once, because you were coming in a day early, and as far as me not knowing, not seeing it. Why would I? I wasn't interested in her, or anyone for that matter… apparently I missed the signals ..."
"Apparently."
We sat in silence for a while, me trying to make sense of it all in my head.
Did I believe him?
"So you didn't fuck her?" I finally asked.
Edward studied me carefully before answering, "I didn't cheat on you …"
Okay, that isn't really an answer.
"How long did it take for her to get into your pants then?"
"She didn't get into my pants!" he hissed and his fury rendered me speechless.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean … I know what you did after we broke up isn't my business."
Edward sighed. "No, Bella, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you … I just …"
"It's okay, Edward—"
"No, it's not," he interrupted. "I need to tell you everything …" He took in a deep breath. "After you left that day, I blew up at her. I asked her what the hell she was thinking, but I didn't really give her time to respond, I was so fucking pissed off, I told her to get lost and never come back …
"I spent the next three months trying to talk to you… to find you, but when I realized that wasn't going to happen, I—" he hesitated slightly. "I was at a party with James, and Tanya was there. I was drunk, and we uh, well, we …"
I held up my hand, shaking my head. "I get it. No need to say it."
Edward nodded. "I made it very clear I wasn't looking for a new girlfriend; that I had no desire to fill that position, and she seemed okay with it. I thought we were in agreement, but apparently I was wrong. I mean it was all right at first, but then she started getting all clingy and shit.
"I talked to her, but it just continued on that way so I ended it…" He paused. "She didn't agree with me, and continued to call all the time; show up where and whenever she wanted. I did everything to get her to understand, but the bitch just wouldn't get it. So I …" He looked me in the eye, and took a deep breath. "I know this is going to sound awful, and I'm not proud of it—my best friend didn't talk to me for almost three years because of it—but I slept with their other sister ..."
He turned to me, looking for my reaction, but I was at a loss for words. What was I supposed to feel about something like that?
"Like I said, I'm not proud of it, but I honestly didn't know what else to do. I mean, I'd slept with other girls trying to give her a clue, but she just tormented them; it didn't sway her at all, so I evilly sought Irina out … it worked, she ended up moving away—"
The ringing phone interrupted him.
"That's probably Alice," I whispered. Edward nodded, reaching into his pocket for his cell.
"Yeah …? No, Alice, its fine … Oh, yeah, tell him we're on our way … Not now, okay …? Whatever, Alice." He paused, listening to whatever Alice was saying. "Let me talk to him for a minute … Yeah, thanks … hey, little man … I know, buddy …I know … I don't know, Mas ... Mommy and I will be there in a few minutes, okay? No, buddy, she's not crying anymore …" Edward's eyes flashed to mine.
Okay, my heart just broke a little. My poor baby was worrying about me, and I quickly felt like a shit for allowing Masen to see me the way he did this afternoon.
I held my hand out for the phone. "Edward, let me talk to him, please?"
Edward nodded. "Masen, buddy, mommy wants to talk to you."
"Masen, baby," I cooed taking the phone.
"Mommy … you were gone …" he sobbed, and my heart broke the rest of the way.
"I know, buddy. Mommy's really sorry," I whispered, careful to keep the sadness out of my voice, as tears quickly formed in my eyes. "I just really needed Auntie Alice to watch you for a little while."
"But, I pose to go to daddy's," he whimpered.
"I know, Mas, but … mommy needed to talk to daddy first."
"I go to daddy's now?" he asked, clearly hopeful.
"I don't know, baby…"
"I pose to go to daddy's, mommy," Masen whined. "Daddy misses me."
I sighed. "Masen, mommy and daddy will be there in a few minutes—"
"Then I go to daddy's?" Masen interrupted.
"I don't know, Masen."
"Mommy," he whined again. "I wanna go to daddy's."
"Maybe Masen," I snapped, not meaning to. "We'll be there in a little while, okay?"
"Fine," he pouted.
"Can I talk to Auntie Alice now, baby?"
"Okay," he said solemnly.
"I love you, baby … I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Okay, mommy. I love you too"
Masen gave Alice the phone, and I told her Edward and I would be there shortly. She said okay, and I hung up before she could drill me.
The drive to Alice's was agonizingly quiet. I stared out the passenger side window, replaying everything Edward had told me, over and over again in my head.
"Alice said Masen asked her what pregnant meant…" Edward said, breaking the silence.
I turned to look at him. "Yeah, we're not going to be hold that conversation off long," I mumbled, turning my attention back to black night, trying desperately to figure out exactly what it was I was thinking … feeling about all Edward had told me.
Did I believe him? Was he telling me the truth? I honestly didn't know the answer. It was a lot to take in, a lot to process in such a short time.
We arrived at Alice and Jasper's a few minutes later, and Masen flew into Edward's arms.
"I go to your house, daddy?"
"Not tonight, buddy," Edward answered—Masen pouted, but didn't argue. "Maybe tomorrow night … If mommy doesn't mind," he added looking to me.
"That's all he's talked about since he woke up," Alice said, handing me his coat. "He was pretty pis … ticked that he was here and not at his daddy's … but you know already that."
I nodded, putting Masen's coat on him. "Thanks for watching him for me, Alice. I really appreciate it."
"Not a problem." Alice smiled mischievously. "How 'bout we get lunch tomorrow?"
"Um, okay." I agreed, not at all excited about that idea; I knew how that lunch would go.
"Good, I'll call you in the morning," she chirped. "We'll figure something out."
~OOO~
Masen was fast asleep when we arrived home, and I was grateful Edward had offered to follow us. I knew there was no way I would be able to carry Masen from the car to his bed without waking him.
Masen only stirred once in Edward's arms, and surprisingly enough, he didn't make a peep as we changed him into his pajamas. I tucked Masen into bed, and then kissed him good night before leaving him with Edward.
I was just coming out of the bathroom when Edward walked in. I probably should have been surprised he didn't knock before entering my bedroom, but I wasn't.
"Well, we got lucky." He sat on the edge of my bed. "We can put the talk off a few more hours."
"Yeah …" I stared at him, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. The silence was almost deafening.
"Um, Bells … I—there's something I have to tell you …"
**Author's Note**
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