In which there is some more Talking, and Thorin is not a jerk.


The welcome to Lake-Town was grand indeed. Though the Master of the town was skeptical of Thorin's claims, the working men within were much more willing to believe the King Under the Mountain had returned — and happy too to overlook that it was actually the King's grandson who had returned — and raised such a hue and clamor that the Master could do nothing but welcome the Company with open arms. And so the dwarves were given a whole house to themselves in which to rest and recover, and all new clothing to replace their shabby traveling clothes; also they were feted with parties and feasts all day and all night, and songs of old that told of the glorious reclamation of Erebor, and the restoration of wealth and glory to Esgaroth itself.

Poor Bilbo appreciated this rather less than he might otherwise have, for he had developed a horrible cold from his ride down the river clinging to the outside of a barrel, and so enjoyed very little of the marvelous food the men provided, and was often too tired and achy to properly enjoy the music and dancing. But just to be at the parties was very cheerful, as no one was trying to kill them or capture them in even the slightest way. Even Kili attended the feasts, and Bilbo would often sit with him, and sometimes Ori would join them and he would occasionally be able to drag Kili into conversation, especially after a few mugs of ale had loosened everyone's tongue. Once even Bofur sat with them, and this was quite an occasion, for the Ur cousins were by far the most superstitious of the lot, and did not usually spend any more time with Kili than they must.

Thorin, of course, always had the seat of honor in the front of the room, and Fili as his heir usually sat beside him, though he often looked rather bored, and once even fell asleep in the middle of an especially long-winded speech, so that Thorin had to elbow him awake before anyone but the dwarves noticed.

Unfortunately, Bilbo's cold was very terrible, which he blamed upon the wretched month that preceded it and the lack of any brambleberry tea, and their third full day in Lake-Town he spent entirely in his bed, refusing to get up for anything at all except for occasional trips to the bathroom, and even those were made as briefly as possible and with much moaning and groaning for all his aches and his poor stuffed nose. The dwarves were as solicitous as they could be, which was hardly as solicitous as even the most hard-hearted hobbit, but they did pat him rather a lot when they saw him up and about, and murmured "there, there" as if that could help in any manner whatsoever.

There was to be yet another feast that night, but Bilbo had already declared that he would not go. And then there arose a great conundrum, for on this night the Master had bade Thorin attend him in his private chambers, and Fili as well. But the Master was perceptive and sly, and though none of the dwarves had said as much, he had quickly deduced that Kili's status was lesser than the rest, and would not deign to have him at his table, nor even in the same room.

Although the situation was in truth not at all funny, Bilbo did find just the slightest bit of amusement in Thorin's sour expression, for it seemed Thorin would not tolerate others treating Kili in the same manner he himself had treated Kili his whole life! After all, as Bilbo pointed out very helpfully, it was not so very long ago that Thorin had insisted that he could not take his meal inside Beorn's house if Kili were to be eating at the table there. "It is different," is all Thorin said to that. "They are men, not dwarves." Well, this seemed rather weak reasoning to Bilbo, as Beorn was no dwarf either, and a similar problem had confronted them with the elves in Rivendell. But Bilbo was of no great mind to point this out to Thorin, though he wondered whether the difference truly lay with the men, or with Thorin himself, who of late Bilbo had often found staring at Kili with hooded, troubled eyes.

"I can stay in the main hall with him," Fili very quickly volunteered, but Thorin would not permit it, for the Master had specifically requested to dine with the King and his heir, and Thorin was loath to displease him while they were so heavily reliant on his hospitality. But if neither Thorin nor Fili was there to act as shemor, then they must name another, and at this dissension rose, for none had ever played the part but Thorin and Fili — and Fili only twice — and none of the other dwarves was particularly keen on taking the burden.

In the midst of the argument, Kili whispered urgently in Fili's ear, and it emerged that he was none too eager to attend the feast at all if Thorin and Fili would not be there, for some of the men besides the Master had taken note of his status, and not all the looks they sent his way were friendly. Of course Kili's wishes were not so very heavily weighted, but Thorin was reluctant to send him if was truly averse to going, as there was nothing to be gained by it and much to be lost if an altercation arose and swords were drawn.

The past few days of plentiful food and rest had quite restored the dwarves' fire, and they argued loudly and extensively, except of course for Kili, who sat perched on the arm of the sofa and gnawed worriedly at his lip.

"For heaven's sake," Bilbo finally said crossly from where he was bundled up in a cozy chair by the fire, listening with increasing agitation to the very vigorous debate, "leave him here with me for the evening, and all of you go off and enjoy yourselves. Kili and I shall play cards and be quite content."

Well, that shut everyone up, and no mistake. Dwalin mumbled something, the only word of which Bilbo caught was "unsuitable" and Balin muttered something back that sounded like "unprecedented" but Thorin crossed his arms and stared at Bilbo very keenly.

"Well," he said finally, "you have certainly proved your worth to me these past few weeks, Mr. Baggins, and I have no doubt Kili would mind you well enough, but there is more to being shemor than just sitting bundled in blankets."

"You shall only be gone for a few hours," Bilbo said. "How much more to it can there be?" Then a horrible thought crossed his mind. "You do not mean that I would be forced to–to punish him, do you? If he were to, err, transgress some rule?"

"No," Thorin said. "I would not burden you with that. But you would be required to report faithfully to me when I return, even if you do not like it or would prefer to keep it quiet."

"Well," said Bilbo, "as I am quite sure we will do nothing but stay here in this room, I do not think there shall be anything at all to keep quiet. I will accept the responsibility if you will grant it."

Thorin narrowed his eyes. "It is no light matter. If something happens, you must report it, even if you think it will lead to a punishment you consider undeserved."

Bilbo fell silent and considered this carefully, for while he was quite sure nothing untoward would happen, he could of course not guarantee it, and he did not know how he would feel about it if something were to take place and he were compelled to report it. He glanced at Kili, but the young dwarf was no help at all; he simply sat staring at Bilbo frowning very slightly, though at what in particular, Bilbo could not be certain.

"I am willing to risk it," Bilbo said, "and hopefully nothing shall happen."

So it was decided, although Balin and Dwalin did mutter under their breath for several minutes before Thorin finally quelled them with a very stern glance. There was plenty of food in the kitchen, and Kili put together a reasonable supper for himself and Bilbo while the other dwarves prepared themselves for their feast. And then the house was very quiet, and it was just the two of them, eating quietly by the fire.

Kili was always livelier when the other dwarves were not around — if not exactly lively — but this evening found him quite subdued and unusually deferential; his eyes were guarded and his speech quiet and careful. Bilbo found this an unwelcome change and could only hope it would last no longer than the evening. After quite a lot of convincing — Bilbo almost wanted to shake him and insist he was quite the same hobbit he had been in the morning! — Kili shared with him some stories of things he had seen when traveling with Thorin.

"A fire moon!" Bilbo gasped. "Really! Was it very lovely?"

"It was the prettiest thing you could imagine," said a third voice, as Fili unexpectedly dropped into the chair across from Bilbo. "It was so large and bright, it looked painted onto the sky."

"Why, what are you doing back so early, Master Fili?" Bilbo cried. "Surely the feast cannot have ended so soon."

"No," Fili agreed. "But we had finished with the meal and I thought perhaps you might wish to be relieved. Plus, they served an exquisitely prepared duck, and it seemed hardly fair that we should be enjoying it when you were here eating cold cutlets. I had them wrap some up for you, but it would not stay warm forever so I brought it back right away."

"You were bored," Kili said, quite unexpectedly direct, at least it seemed so to Bilbo, though he had noticed that Kili spoke more freely to Fili than any other dwarf.

"Just so," Fili agreed. "And worse. The Master is a simpering buffoon. If I should have had to listen to any more of his sycophantic whimpering, I might have pulled an axe on someone. He did not believe Thorin was who he claimed to be at first, you know, but now that he is convinced of the legitimacy of our claim, he cannot bow deep enough. Here." He slid a well-wrapped package across the small table, at the same time reaching for the deck of cards that lay upon it. "You should try the duck. It really was superb."

"Perhaps a little later," Bilbo said. "Though I fear it shall be wasted on me. With my nose so stuffed, every taste is dulled." He was quite sorry about it too, for the men of Lake-Town cooked well and their meals were hearty and filling, and similar to what could be gotten in the inns at Bree.

"As you wish," Fili said. He shuffled the deck of cards several times. "What is the game tonight?"

"We were to play Jacks in the Middens," Bilbo said.

"Ah," Fili said very cheerfully. "I could not be beaten at that game as a child."

A most peculiar look flashed across Kili's face, though he turned his eyes quickly down to the cards Fili dealt.

It was not fast enough. Fili stopped mid-deal and looked hard at Kili, who felt the stare and looked up. His neck flushed and he twitched uncomfortably.

"Kili," Fili said slowly. "Would you lose to me on purpose, when we were young?"

Kili swallowed, face tense and miserable, and though his mouth opened and shut a few times, he did not manage to answer. Bilbo felt briefly irritated with Fili, for even if he did not mean to be intimidating Kili, given the inequity of their station it was almost unavoidable, and he thought Fili should have come to realize it by now.

Fili sat back in his chair. "Well," he said, a little piqued. "That is a fine thing to learn after the fact." He scowled. "Then tonight you must play to win, both of you. I am no 40 year old dwarfling; I can tolerate losing."

Kili stared at him, frowning deeply, and to Bilbo, he appeared acutely conflicted.

Fili frowned as well, and he thought for a moment. "You shall accrue no punishment either way," he said carefully, "even if you feel you must throw the game. But I would prefer it if you did not."

Finally, after considerable thought, Kili nodded stiffly and Fili nodded as well, apparently satisfied at this acquiescence, and resumed dealing.

They played for quite a while, and it was a genial, pleasant enough game, as they were comfortably matched one against the other. Bilbo had always considered himself reasonably skilled in strategy, but he found he needed all his wits to compete against the other two, who played swiftly and fiercely, as if engaged in battle, and showed no mercy to each other or the poor sickly hobbit at their side.

Once, peeking over the tops of his cards, Bilbo found both Kili and Fili staring at their hands, deep in thought, and though he had never considered that they looked very much alike at all, at that moment they both wore identical scowls of concentration, and even were gnawing at their lips in the same manner. It was the first time he had ever seen the family resemblance so clearly writ upon their faces, but of course he could not remark upon it. That made him more than a little sad, and by the time he had recovered from his fit of melancholy, he had lost both that hand and the next as well.

The fire was very warm and Bilbo grew very sleepy staring at the cards; at some point, he heard a murmured, "I think he's fallen asleep," and he thought to protest that he had not, but he could not make his mouth work at all nor could he open his eyes.

"Should we move him to bed?"

That whisper came from Kili, Bilbo thought drowsily, and wasn't it just like Kili to be so thoughtful and considerate? Dear, sweet Kili.

"No," Fili said, also whispering. "He looks very comfortable. That chair is practically as big as a hobbit-sized bed anyway. Let him sleep. He has been so miserable of late. I wonder if all hobbits fare so poorly. Can you imagine, more than three days, and he is still ill!"

"He is hardy enough in other ways," Kili said. "I do not begrudge him a lingering cold, after all of this."

"No," Fili said. There was a rustling of sorts, and a brief silence, then he said, "You really should try the duck. It will be wasted otherwise, and it was quite spectacular. Do you remember Fregrid in the kitchen when we were young?" There was no answer, but Kili must have nodded or made some other silent sign of assent, for Fili continued, "She used to make duck just like this. And I know she would set some aside for you."

"She was very kind-hearted," Kili murmured. "I only understood as I grew older that she could have gotten in trouble for it. I did not realize you were aware of it. Did Thorin know as well?"

"Perhaps," Fili said. "There was little that went on in the house that he was truly unaware of. But it was a harmless enough transgression."

Kili did not answer, and Fili cleared his throat. "I brought some pastries back as well. I thought Bilbo might like them — they are very similar to the seedcakes he served us back in the Shire." Then he paused. "Oh. You might not have had any of those."

After a little bit of time, Kili said cautiously, "He shared one with me once, when we had been on the road for only a few days. I thought — at the time I thought he was quite peculiar, the way he would speak to me so directly."

"He is peculiar to a dwarf. But I suppose for a hobbit, he might be very ordinary."

Had Bilbo been more awake, he would have suggested that other hobbits would certainly find him very peculiar, but not for speaking in friendship to Kili. But he was not very awake, so he stayed quiet instead, and eventually fell back into a doze, as Fili and Kili continued whispering to each other.

A creak of a chair brought him a little bit awake again, and by the muted sound of the fire, an hour or more had passed. He did not even try to open his eyes, so comfortable was he.

The dwarves were still speaking in whispers, though it sounded like they had fetched ale at some point, for Bilbo could just make out the occasional swallow and the soft thud of mugs being placed with care on the table. "Did you not resent me?" Fili asked, and even in a whisper, he sounded desperately curious. "How could you not? You must have known that I had everything that you would have, had my mother but lived."

Kili's answer was a very long time in coming. "I did not resent you. I knew no other life, and I did not ever think on how else things might have been, had she lived. And — I have always been told I should be grateful to Thorin and you as well, for taking me in; that in the olden days, they killed such babes."

Fili snorted, sounding just a little drunk. "You should have resented me," he said. "I resented you."

"I deserved it for killing your mother," Kili said, so quietly that Bilbo almost could not hear.

"I did not resent you for that," Fili said. "I was so young then, just a babe myself; I do not remember her at all."

"Then what?" Kili was the one sounding curious now, and Bilbo was curious too, and awake, though he feigned sleep. "You had everything — what could you possibly have wanted that I had?"

"Thorin's attention," Fili said. "You took so much of it. He would leave me all the time; you must recall that. With Balin and Dwalin, with Gloín, even sometimes with Dori! But you always accompanied him, wherever he traveled."

"He could not leave me unattended," Kili said. "And none would watch me, for fear of the bad luck I would bring. You were lucky to stay back in Ered Luin. I did not enjoy the traveling. The days were long and the road was hard. And — people would ever stare, when they found out what I was."

"Other dwarves were cruel to you," Fili said. "That I do recall. Did Thranduil truly offer to let you stay in Mirkwood?"

"Yes, if I would foreswear all loyalty to the dwarves."

"Why did you not?" Again, Fili sounded desperately curious, as if he could not imagine why Kili should have refused such an opportunity.

Kili's answer was again very long in coming. "I am a dwarf," he said finally. "Even if a cursed one. I do not belong with elves." He sighed. "Or perhaps I am just a coward."

"You are no coward," Fili said immediately. "I think perhaps you are very much braver than I ever considered."

"I do not think so," Kili said, but it was very quiet, and if Fili answered, Bilbo did not hear. Both dwarves fell silent then, and eventually, lulled by the soft pop and crackle of the logs burning low, Bilbo fell all the way back to sleep, and knew no more until the sun woke him in the morning.


A/N:

So, what did you think? Originally this was the first chapter where we really got to see any Kili and Fili interaction. I'm rather glad that all your comments (and the nudging of my beta) prompted me to include more before we ever got here.

Thank you as always for your kind and thoughtful comments! They really do help to make this story much better as I edit.

xoxox to my beta SapphireMusings and DH, who was very lenient with me this time.