Chapter summary: In which Bilbo makes a choice, and we tiptoe a little farther away from canon.
In the corridor, away from the horrid little room, Bilbo huddled against the wall, trembling. He could not figure what to do, but knew only that he could not spend another night with the Arkenstone under his pillow, not if Thorin might take out his rage on Kili again. Bilbo thought he understood for the first time what the gold sickness must have done to Thror, for certainly nothing else but madness would have led him to pocket the cursed stone in the first place, and to keep it for so long, when anyone with half a mind could have foreseen what must happen. Still, he was now more than ever loath to put the stone in Thorin's possession, for surely the dwarf had gone mad to have beaten Kili so, and might go madder still, like his grandfather and father before him, and that might mean a very terrible end for a burglar who had had the temerity to hide the stone away in the first place. But to keep the stone was to risk Kili's life, and that was not an outcome Bilbo was willing to contemplate.
Bilbo was quite miserably reviewing his options and finding none to his liking, when he was interrupted. "Mr. Baggins?"
Bilbo startled and looked up, but it was only Fili, frowning with concern and fear.
"Oh!" Bilbo gasped. "Fili. My heavens. I did not see you there."
"It is usually you who sneaks up on us," Fili said, but though his words were light, his expression was grave. His eyes traveled to the door at the end of the corridor. "How is Kili?"
Bilbo thought of Kili's wounds, those he had seen and those he had not; he thought too of the other wounds Kili bore, the ones no one could see, that could not be tended to with feverfew tea and yuko root, that he had tried stupidly and naively to heal with flimsy, pretty, insubstantial words. Oh, and what had he done with all his fine talk but pull away a healthy scab to re-expose the injury!
"I think he will be fine," Bilbo said at last, for he could not find words to express all the thoughts rattling around his brain. "At least, all the wounds will heal. Oín has taken good care of him, and Thorin was not as rough with him as I feared he might have been."
Fili breathed out a sigh. "That is welcome news indeed. Thorin is not–" He frowned and lowered his voice. "I am afraid he is not entirely in his right mind. He is so intent upon that stone."
"And if he were to find it?" Bilbo asked, quite tentatively, with nothing in his voice (he hoped) to indicate that such a thing might be imminently possible. "Do you think it would ease his madness, or compound it?"
Fili frowned. "I am not sure how the finding of it could make him angrier, and it would at least spare Kili from further blame."
This Bilbo had already reasoned for himself. "And what of the demands of the men and elves? Will Thorin yield, should he find the one jewel he values most above all?"
Fili's frown deepened into a terrible scowl. "Thorin would never easily give away any gold or silver, but I do not think he would let the Company starve. Much depends on whether Dáin arrives before we run entirely out of food."
"Might he?" Bilbo asked. "It is a long journey from the Iron Hills."
"Dáin's army is strong and well-provisioned," Fili says. "His dwarves live well within their halls. They are sturdy folk, and can travel quickly, even laden with arms and provisions. If they reach us, we should be able to withstand any siege from Lake-Town, even if the elves fight alongside the men. I fear it shall come to war in any event. Dáin is no more well-disposed towards elves than Thorin, and his relations with Lake-Town are barely polite." He grimaced. "Truth be told, I think Dáin will be eager to wage war. If the Arkenstone is not found and Dáin's army comes out victorious in battle, I do not know that Thorin shall be able to maintain his claim to the throne. Dáin has ever been Thorin's steadfast supporter, but he too is of the line of Durin, and with an army at his back and a victory under his belt, I cannot imagine that he will be content to return to a lesser kingdom in the Iron Hills, when he might rule Erebor. It is not dwarven nature to settle."
"But if Thorin had the Arkenstone," Bilbo asked, brow furrowed, "Dáin would support him?"
"Without a doubt," Fili said. "Thorin is Thrain's heir as Thrain was Thror's. With the Arkenstone in his possession, none of the seven clans would dispute Thorin's claim. It is only without it that the succession becomes murkier."
"I see," Bilbo said, though in truth he did not entirely understand how the right to rule a kingdom could be bestowed by a single stone, beautiful though it was. But perhaps it was not so important that he understand why it was the truth, so long as he knew it to be the truth regardless of his understanding. "If Thorin had the stone," he asked, "and his mind grew even cloudier, would you support him still?"
Fili grew very still. "That is a dangerous question, Mr. Baggins," he said carefully. "He is my uncle and my king." But then he breathed a long, slow breath and said, voice low, "But Thorin has oft spoken of Thror's madness, and how it was the ruin of our people, and how he wished he had possessed the courage to stand up to him. I would not repeat his mistakes."
Bilbo imagined this was quite as much as he could expect from Fili, and in truth he was glad to have it, for he was coming to conclude that he had but one option open to him. There was no guarantee that returning the stone would ease Thorin's madness, but it was certainly true that keeping it from him would only make it worse. And so he would have to give the stone back and hope for the best, even though the thought set his heart pounding quite fiercely in his chest, for he was not sure that all his hoping would prove to be enough.
Fili stood for a moment, fidgeting, his gaze troubled and skittering towards the end of the hall. "Does Kiki really fare well?" he asked.
"I did not say that,," Bilbo corrected. "I said he will be fine. I would not say he fares particularly well at the moment. He is-" He sighed. "He is quite angry."
"With Thorin?" Kili frowned. "He is not without right to be, though I am surprised he would say as much out loud."
"Oh no," Bilbo said. "He is angry with me, mostly, and quite deservedly too, I suppose. He is not angry with Thorin at all." He pushed his fingers into his forehead, trying to ease the pounding there. "I think he believes he deserved it."
"Of course he would," Fili said, frowning. "He always does. No matter how many times he hears differently, he will never believe–" He growled. "It would be easier," he said, "if I could believe so deeply as he does. He accepts his place in the world without questioning."
"Oh," Bilbo said, in no little surprise. "Do you question, then?"
"Of late," Fili said gloomily, "I find I am questioning everything." He paced, a little reckless and wild, fists clenched. "For so many years, I understood perfectly how the world worked, and was quite content with it too. Then you came along with your peculiar hobbity view of everything, and suddenly everything I thought was right was wrong."
"Peculiar hobbity view!" Bilbo repeated, though in truth he had not the heart to be very deeply offended. "I suppose it must seem so, to you. But your dwarvish customs seem just as odd to me."
"Yes," Fili said. "And odd too to Gandalf, and the elves, and Beorn. I suppose I am a bit slow at times, but even I can see the veins in the wall when they run so thick. And so can Kili, though he would deny it." He glanced toward the end of the hall again. "He would take punishments for me all the time, you know," he said, "when we were dwarflings. I was just selfish enough to let him, and I confess I never felt very guilty. I supposed I believed then that he was to blame for all the bad luck in the house, even the bad luck of us getting caught for things I had started! But I would have taken this punishment for him, if I could have."
"Perhaps," Bilbo said gently, "you could tell that to Kili. I am sure he would appreciate it."
"No, he would be furious with me for thinking such a thing," Fili said with a shake of his head. "The only way to take punishment for Kili is to make sure he knows nothing about it. That is not so easily done. He is very observant." He grinned a bit slyly then. "You see, Mr. Baggins, Kili is not the only one who can play pretend, when it is called for."
"No," Bilbo said, "it seems he is not." And though Fili was of course referring to himself, poor Bilbo could only reflect only how much pretending he himself had done in the past few weeks, and reflecting that, when all was said and done, pretending was not so very different at all from lying, and worked out about as well, which is to say, quite terribly indeed.
He spent a very poor rest of the day and night, for though he had determined to give the stone to Thorin, he could not think how to do it in a way that did not result in him having his head chopped off! But upon waking, an idea came to him so suddenly that he felt quite the fool for not having thought of it immediately, and he was so excited to put the plan in action that he ate his breakfast of cram quite quickly and happily, to the consternation of Gloín and Bifur who sat beside him eating their own meal with far less enthusiasm.
The first and most important thing to do was to find Kili, and this took some doing, for Kili was nowhere within the mountain to be found. He located him finally outside on the battlements, surveying the armies below with a frown on his face. Bilbo took a look too and felt his stomach twist, for there were far more men and elves than he had guessed at. "There will be no good end to this, I fear," he said softly.
Kili startled at his voice and turned awkwardly to face him. "Mr. Baggins," he said. His expression was troubled, though he did not appear angry, but rather as if he was uncertain what to say.
Bilbo was only very rarely troubled by that same affliction. "How are you feeling this morning? Did you sleep?"
Kili grimaced and admitted he had not slept very well at all. "But Ori has been forcing feverfew tea on me every time he sees me, and Oín has been worse with the yuko leaf. I am not in very much discomfort, but my head feels a bit as if it has been stuffed with cotton. I understand this is what it is like to be drunk. If so, I do not see the attraction." He was standing stiffly, bent slightly at the waist, and the bruise on his jaw had blossomed spectacularly overnight. He looked rather like he had been run over by a turnip cart.
Bilbo felt guilt bloom anew, and was more determined than ever to see his plan through. "I am sorry," he mumbled, though of course Kili would not know Bilbo's apology was sincere, rather than an expression of sympathy.
"It is I who needs to apologize," Kili said awkwardly. "My behavior yesterday–"
"–is already forgotten," Bilbo interrupted.
"That is very generous," said Kili. "Still, I should not have spoken to you in such a manner."
Bilbo tutted. "You were in pain, and that makes careless speakers of us all."
"Perhaps." But Kili did not look convinced, and he chewed worriedly at his lip, then sighed. "Perhaps it is just that I am unaccustomed to having to apologize."
Bilbo was a bit taken aback by this, for certainly Kili always took his fair share of the blame and more beyond!
Kili hastened to explain. "You must understand, for my entire life I have been held accountable for my actions. I was punished for every infraction, and also for the misfortune I brought to others. I could not control the latter so I learned very quickly to control the former. You have never seen a quieter, more well-behaved dwarfling."
Bilbo had never seen any dwarflings at all, but he found it difficult to imagine any young dwarf being quiet or well-behaved, for as adults they were certainly a loud, boisterous lot! He said as much, and Kili grinned with the half of his mouth that was unswollen. "I'm sure I was worse than the most mischievous hobbit child. But I was very subdued for a dwarf." He frowned. "So you see, I had never really done anything I needed to apologize for. And yet on this quest, I have become disobedient and insolent."
"Well," said Bilbo, "I think we have all changed since we first met, some more than others. Why, I have become a proper burglar! And I think you are still remarkably well behaved, even by a hobbit's high standards." Then he coughed, and scuffled his feet. "It is not so terrible a thing to speak your mind, you know, nor were you unjustified in what you said to me. I have not been nearly as respectful of your customs as I ought, and I know that can only have made things more difficult for you. I only hope you bear me no ill will for my thoughtlessness."
"No," Kili said, though his answer was not so very quick in coming. "You have been my friend when most others would not even speak with me."
This was true, though also a very large part of the problem! But there was nothing to be gained pointing this out, for certainly Kili himself knew it as well as did Bilbo. So instead Bilbo said, "Now that we have apologized to each other and feel the better for it, I am finding it quite chilly out here, and the sight of the armies amassing against us is very discouraging. Will you come inside with me? I am feeling especially burglar-like today, and there is a mound of treasure I am of a mind to search."
Kili sighed, though he then looked guilty about it. He checked quickly to ensure that no other dwarves had snuck up on them to overhear before whispering, "I confess I am tired of searching mounds of treasure."
"As am I," Bilbo said, "but if the stone is to be found anywhere, it must be found somewhere. This mound is more of a mountain and none of the other dwarves are spry enough to make it to the top, so they have been searching from the bottom. But I think a dragon might want such a pretty jewel up where he could easily see it."
"Oh," Kili said, raising an eyebrow, "and are you now an expert on dragons, Mr. Baggins?"
"No," Bilbo said, "I would not claim that. But I begin to sense a pattern in how Smaug organized his hoard–" (This was quite a large lie, as it all seemed to him to have been thrown about entirely at random.) "–and my feet are feeling especially agile today–" (This was also a lie, as his feet felt much the same as they had the day before, which is to say, in need of a good soaking and a long time spent resting.) "–and hobbits say a day spent sitting on lively feet is a day wasted." (This was, at least, something hobbits would occasionally say, though generally in reference to doing chores around the house or in the garden, and not searching through a dragon's treasure hoard.)
"Very well then," said Kili, and though he did not look entirely enthusiastic, he followed Bilbo willingly enough back into the mountain and then to the chamber where most of the treasure still sat. Bilbo led him to the very mound of treasure where he had first stumbled across the Arkenstone, for if there was any logic to Smaug's hoarding that someone else might discern, Bilbo reasoned it would make sense to let the stone be found where Smaug had stored it. Plus, it was true too that the top of the treasure heap was yet still undisturbed by the dwarves, and Bilbo rather doubted any of them would recall that he had spent some little time tromping around upon it on that first day.
Unfortunately, his plan to lure Kili to the top of the treasure heap proved an almost instant failure, as it appeared that dwarves were not just crafted from stone metaphorically but physically as well; whereas Bilbo could easily clamber up on top of the shifting pile of gems and jewels, Kili sank in up to his ankles the moment he tried to step up, and not even shucking his boots, coat, and sword was enough to get him much farther up. "Perhaps," Bilbo said, "on your hands and knees?"
Kili scowled at him. "I am sure that will not help, Mr. Baggins."
There was a guffaw from behind Kili's shoulder. "Oh, go on," Fili said. "It may not help you, but it will certainly help me."
"Yes," and that was Nori, coming around from behind a pillar. "I think it will help me as well. Go on then, Kili, let us see if you can crawl to the top." And of course where Nori was, Dori and Ori were not far behind, and they were equally eager to see Kili attempt to climb the hoard on hands and knees.
Bilbo could not be sure whether Kili acquiesced because he felt he had no choice, being khazd khuv, or simply because he was stubborn and unwilling to yield to teasing. But in any event, Kili, huffing irritably, dropped to his hands and knees and slowly started creeping up the hill. If pressed, Bilbo would have had to admit it was more than mildly amusing, but to the dwarves, who had had no spot of joy in many days, this was apparently the height of entertainment, and they were hooting and cheering so furiously that soon all the dwarves save Thorin were gathered round to point and laugh, and even Bofur and Dwalin cracked a smile as they watched.
It took a very long time to make very little progress, though the dwarves did not seem to tire of watching, which was exactly the opposite of what Bilbo had hoped for, as none were meant to be present until after the stone was found. Still, it worked out in the end, for soon Kili came across a particularly treacherous section and lost his balance. He yelped like a puppy and twisted round to catch himself, but it was to no avail; the jewels shifted beneath him and he slid gracelessly down the slope, treasure flying all around as he slipped and skidded, coming to land on his back in an undignified heap. Bilbo skipped lithely down to where poor Kili lay, dazed and grumbling, and it was easy as pie to shake the Arkenstone loose from where it had been stashed in his sleeve all morning and slip it under Kili's back as he bent down over him. None of the dwarves noticed, for they were far too busy laughing, and so the deed was safely done, and all that was left was the discovery.
Kili turned over to struggle to his hands and knees, then went suddenly very still. "Mr. Baggins," he said, in a very strangled sort of whisper. "Could you please help me stand?"
Of course Bilbo was more than happy to, and Kili rose gingerly to knees, then his feet, and in his hand he clutched the Arkenstone, which pulsed brightly between his fingers. Instantly, all the dwarves fell quiet, and Bilbo fell quiet too, for he had not really looked upon the Arkenstone since the day he had taken it, and it was lovely beyond all recounting, and shone with a light very much brighter than he recalled. Bilbo felt a pang then, that he had had it in his possession and had given it up, but then he remembered Kili kneeling on the floor with his jaw bruised and swollen and Oín tending to his back, and all his regrets vanished, for no single stone in the world was worth seeing such a sight as that.
"Is that–" Bofur said, looking quite astonished. "Bless me, the lad's found it!"
And smiles broke out then, and then laughter, and then whoops of joy, and Fili went tearing off yelling for Thorin, while all the dwarves crowded around Kili, jostling for a glimpse of the precious jewel. Bilbo stood to the side feeling quite satisfied with himself, and if his smile had a different character than everyone else's, no one was the wiser.
Thorin and Fili arrived momentarily, and a great fire was burning in Thorin's eyes, and his brow was furrowed. But when he saw the stone shining in Kili's hands he swallowed, and a very peculiar look crossed his face, as if he was hungry and fearful all at the same time. "Kili-" he whispered, and his face was very pale; Bilbo wondered what it could be that he was so afraid of.
But Kili turned to Thorin with bright, awed eyes and held out the Arkenstone with reverent, trembling fingers. "It is yours, shemor," he said softly. "It has come to you again, and now you shall be king."
Thorin took the stone far less eagerly than Bilbo had expected; indeed, he almost hesitated to take it at all, but take it he did, and this led to a new round of cheering from the gathered dwarves. Bilbo wondered if he was the only one who noticed the shadow on Thorin's face, and way his eyes kept wandering from the stone to Kili and back again.
Kili looked well satisfied, and sat down upon the very pile of jewels wherein the stone was found, wearing a smile the likes of which Bilbo had rarely seen grace his features. "I owe you a debt of gratitude, Mr. Baggins," Kili said, and for a moment Bilbo had the horrible thought than Kili knew. But then Kili continued, "If you had not been so insistent, I should never have followed you up that mound."
"If you had not been so heavy," Bilbo countered quickly, "we should have wasted our time looking about the very top, when it seems the stone was all this time fairly close to the bottom. So perhaps it is I who owe you a debt of gratitude; you and your heavy dwarf bones!"
Fili came wandering over then, and his smile at Kili was so genuine, Bilbo could not help but feel warmed by it. "Bofur and Bombur do not know what to think," Fili said. "It has put them quite in a muddle, that you should have been the one to find the stone, after all this searching. And Dori and Nori and Ori have been quick to point out that you killed Smaug with but a single shot." He sat down then and bumped Kili's shoulder companionably with his own. "It seems perhaps that good fortune can shine on us all sometimes. Even you."
"I would not go quite so far as that," Kili said placidly. "Nor do I think Thorin would agree."
Fili shrugged. "I think Thorin," he said, "does not know what to think. We all saw how the stone shone for you. None could deny now that you are of the line of Durin. I think he feared for a moment that you would keep it."
Kili scoffed. "And do what? Claim the throne for myself?"
"Well," Fili said, mouth twisted in amusement, "when you say it like that, it does seem quite ridiculous." And he laughed then, free and easy, and though Kili did not join in, he smiled, and they sat there all together in companionable silence while the rest of the dwarves admired the stone and congratulated Thorin on his good fortune. And if Thorin winced every time he heard such sentiment; if he could not keep his eyes off Kili; and if his expression was not joyful, but sad; and if after all this time searching, he gave the stone barely a glance; well, it seemed no one noticed these things but Bilbo, and he was of no mind to share his quiet speculations with anyone else, but let the Company have their happy moment. "For such moments," he told himself, "have been in short supply indeed."
Unfortunately, their joy was short-lived, as the ravens soon brought word that Dáin's forces had arrived, but that the men and elves would not let them pass through the valley to the mountain; skirmishes had broken out already, and full-blown war was sure to follow.
"You must send Dáin word," Balin insisted to Thorin. "Let him know the Arkenstone has been reclaimed, and that we stand ready to defend the mountain."
Thorin agreed, and Bilbo was glad to see that his eyes were clearer than they had been for many days, but less glad that the dwarves spoke of war with no apprehension or distaste, but were instead almost eager for it. "We shall make Thranduil pay," Thorin said fervently, as he was fitted for mail and helm. And he ordered all the dwarves to take up arms and armor, and even Kili was to be outfitted thus. "I would have you by my side with Rergin's bow," Thorin said to him. "And Fili as well with his swords, and none shall reach us."
Kili nodded, looking nervous and determined, but also excited; Bilbo realized again with a jolt how very young and sheltered he was.
Then calamity! For even while they were still preparing for war within the mountain, the ravens returned, and they brought back not word from Dáin, but Gandalf, and the news was grim indeed. "The goblins have come down from the mountain," Thorin said grimly, "and the wargs with them, and they are attacking all the forces below, with no care for whether they are elf or men or dwarves. We must fight, for there can be no peace for any of the Free People until those foul creatures are wiped from the plains."
And thus did war come to Erebor, so soon after it was reclaimed.
A/N:
I loathe the Arkenstone. Just sayin'.
Next up ... BoFA. :: cue lots of pounding drums and war horns ::
Thanks to everyone who's still following, and to all of you who take the time to drop a comment. I do love them. :D And thanks of course to sapphiremusing for beta-ing, and to my poor DH, who gets grumpier and grumpier the farther I stray from canon. But as I told him yesterday, if he wanted to read the original story, he could just read the book! (We have three copies in the house, including the annotated one, and my son has a fourth up at school.)
