5th February 2002

Dear Dean,

So I've officially been studying here for a year, funny how time flies. Well I guess it's the first day back. One year down and only a few more to go, oh what joy. In all seriousness I enjoy it here at Stanford; I have friends, like real friends. I've said this before I know but every day I wake up and have to remind myself that I'm not leaving, not anytime soon. I just wish you had a chance at this life, there's not a day that goes by when I don't think about you.

Sam. W.

3rd May 2002

Dear Dean,

I guess it was my birthday yesterday, I really didn't want to do much for it, though I am burdened with friends that think a night out filled with alcohol and hazy memories of women is a way to celebrate such stupid things such as birthdays. I mean what's the point of them anyways, who would want to celebrate the day they were messily (and not to mention bloodily) extracted from their mothers' wombs, it's stupid. Anyways I was talking about crazed friends and wild pointless partying, it wasn't all bad, and I met this girl. Her name is Jess and she's great, more your type though. Brady introduced me to her, told you he was a great guy.

Sam. W.

17th June 2002

Dear Dean,

So get this, Jess and I are dating, weird huh. It was always you who attracted the girls, I was always just 'Dean's gangly little brother' but look how the tables have turned. It's odd thinking that I would be successful in that area, thinking back on it now, it's weird to think I even made proper interaction with a female of my species. That sounded less lame in my head. On other news I know dad visits, I've seen him walk in, I never went to say hello though. Every month he would go to the office to pay for my fees, kinda nice of him isn't it. I never hated dad, not really. I understand he was protecting me, in his own weird way.

Sam. W.

12th December 2002

Dear Dean,

It's finally the last day of exams, and then we've got a whole new set in a few months, I guess it comes with the territory. I think I'm being followed, maybe it's my imagination or just Luce fucking with me but I'm scared. I haven't been scared like this in a long time, last time I was, I was with you. I just don't know what to do man, I haven't seen Brady today, Jess is out and someone is following me. I know it. I can always feel their ghost like presence hidden within the cold shadows every day, watching me with devious intent. I feel it at every corner, and I have never felt more alone in the world. It's just me, my books and the yellow eyed ghost of a man. Never have I needed you more.

Sam. W.

January 24th 2003

Dear Dean,

Happy birthday Dean, may the gods of strippers and one night stands bless you with a night to remember, that is if you're not piss drunk before seven o'clock. I don't really have much to say but happy birthday. Party hard, don't die from a damaged liver and stay away from the hookers.

Sam. W.

27th April 2003

Dear Dean,

Why do I do this, why do I still write to you. It's not like you'll ever reply, ever come down to visit. You and dad are still wrapped up in your own little world, I was never part of that before and I sure as hell am not part of it now. I never will be, I never was one of you; you and dad had your own thing going on even of you never spoke in front of me. I always saw you and dad drive out every morning, silently and oblivious to each other as if you both never existed on each other's eyes. I know how many times I say this, it's so tedious but I will say it again and again. Why wasn't I as important? Why was leaving with dad every morning more important that staying with me? Every bloody morning Dean, every god damn morning of every god damn day you did this. Why?

Sam. W

9th May 2003

Dear Dean,

Jess took me out for my birthday, it was fun, I at least went out. Apparently it had been days since I left the apartment, didn't even notice, how time flies. However long I was cooped inside, Jess wasn't having it. It was fun I guess, Jess didn't mind Brady coming along, well I'm pretty sure she didn't mind. She didn't say a single thing to him; he sort of just was in the background drinking. It was interesting I guess but fun nevertheless. I guess human interaction isn't that bad, not that I don't have any, which I do. Luce and Brady talk to me every day; they're all the company I need really. Most people are boring anyways… except you. You were never boring.

Sam. W.

4th July 2003

Dear Dean,

Hey Dean, remember way back when we were little, like in 1996, we snuck into a field and let off fireworks and after dad yelled at me all night for being 'irresponsible'? I remember that well, I don't know about you because according to your retelling we burnt the whole field down. Now see, I do not remember it like that, fire yes but the whole field? That's a bit of a stretch. I mean, when was the last time we ever did that before I well… left. Maybe that's another reason why, we never really were a proper family.

Sam. W.

21st September 2003

Dear Dean,

Dean I think they're coming for me, the men with the black eyes, they're everywhere. Every street I turn down into, every shop, every corner and every restaurant, they're coming for me, I know it. They killed mum, now it's my turn. I know it is. Brady said he'd protect me but what's he gonna' do against demons? He can't do anything Dean, I am alone and I have to face them, I'm sorry Dean, maybe this is my goodbye. I don't want it to be, because that means I'll never see you again. All I know for sure is the demons are coming; they're coming to drag me into hell. Lucifer said so. He's always right.

Sam. W.

28th December 2003

Dear Dean,

It's Jess, Jess is one of them. I know what I have to do. It's for our own good. Maybe I am saving her; perhaps the afterlife would be kind to her too. I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry.

Sam. W.