A/N- Sorry for the long delay on this post. After Coda I needed a little break. I'm hoping to start updating more regularly now! I hope you enjoy chapter 5!
It was as if he was staring at a room full of ghosts. Daryl's whole body remained rigid as he attempted to position himself causally against the living room's wooden mantel, ignoring everyone's constant offers for him to sit down. Having spent years solely focused on keeping himself alive, he couldn't help but strategically maneuver himself in full view of the room and a clear shot of the exit.
The inside of Beth's house was eerily normal. Though there were limited electronics (mostly unplugged) in the living room, a small black piano sat at the main wall, serving as a focal point for a couch, love seat, and set of mismatched armchairs. Artwork hung on the muted yellow walls and even a plate of cookies sat, almost completely finished, on the counter separating the kitchen from the living room. It was like stepping back in time to a suburban house he probably wouldn't have been welcome in. The only clear signs of the post-apoctoliptic world in view were the knives peaking out from high shelves and a set of backpacks (three large leather bags and one small pink bag with an irrelevant cartoon character) sitting by the front door. Daryl didn't have to ask to know they were emergency packs; he knew Beth would always be prepared.
Everyone from his old family had been welcoming when he and Beth entered the house, enveloping him in awkward hugs, telling him how glad they were that he was alive and safe. Glenn claimed that it had been unbelievable they were reunited after so long. Michonne reminded him he was a "badass." Rick expressed relief to have his trusted friend back. Maggie had even looked him straight in the eye and genuinely warned him that they had to have a chat about knocking up her baby sister.
However, despite everyone assuring Daryl of their elation at his return, he couldn't shake the concern that he was interrupting the idyllic life his family had created for themselves. That somehow, just by being alive, he would jinx their safe and happy utopia.
Beth had released his hand when the hugs began, but she didn't wander far from his side, constantly establishing contact, whether by grazing arms, touching his shoulder, or, in a few bold moments, rubbing his back reassuringly. Whenever she did venture across the room, Daryl would watch her like a hawk. He knew the others in the room had to notice, but at this point he didn't care, their secret had apparently been out for years.
At that moment, despite his relief at seeing his old friends alive, the only other person Daryl had wanted to see was Ella, who had gone off with Carl and Judith for her promised picnic. Though no one had said the words, Daryl instinctually knew that seemingly innocent girl had demanded the lunch that had been promised to her; he would have done the same at that age.
Daryl faded in and out as everyone updated him on their lives from various seats around the room. Rick was acting sheriff in the town, a role he took on mere months after arriving. Carl had gone to school for a while and now acted as a scout outside the fence, often working closely with his father and Michonne. Maggie and Glenn had shied away from guard duty or making runs, focusing on helping at the small farm on the other side of town, which provided part of the town's food supply.
As everyone focused on Maggie's story about Glenn's disastrous first harvest, Daryl turned back to the mantel behind him. Across the edge, in a variety of mismatched and oversized frames, were Polaroid pictures, all focusing on one vibrant subject: Ella. The series began with a few baby pictures: a fragile looking baby cradled in a sleeping Beth's arms, a first birthday party where Maggie held Ella and Glenn held a homemade banner, a curly headed toddler balanced on Beth's shoulders. Then, slowly, the pictures progressed through the years, showing a growing but always smiling girl. While everyone was still distracted by a joke in Maggie's story, Daryl took the only unframed photo, a recent picture of Ella hanging from a tree limb, her legs kicking and face lit up in a laugh, and slipped it into his pocket.
"We're baccccck!" A thin girl, who Daryl immediately recognized by her mother's features as Judith, burst through the door and made a B-line for Michonne, handing her a mixed bouquet of wild flowers and weeds.
Daryl's heart almost stopped as Ella followed her best friend in the door, a mixture of apprehension and pride overtaking his body. The girl's dress was now covered in dirt but a wide smile spread across her face as she noticed all her loved ones in one room.
"We havin' a party?" Ella questioned, turning to her mother, who replied with a disapproving glance at the formerly yellow dress.
"I…. fell..." Ella lied, her cheeks turning a rosy pink as she grasped the edge of Beth's dress with tiny, apologetic hands. Daryl briefly looked up as Carl slipped in the door behind the girls, but his attention immediately returned to Ella, the boy would have to wait.
In his life, Daryl had never felt the overwhelming need to pick a child up and wrap them in his arms. Sure, he held Judith as an infant, loved her, would have protected her with his life, but this need was different. He needed Ella to smile. He needed her to laugh. He needed, more than anything at that moment, for her to be happy. But he also knew that at that moment, that the little girl he so desperately wanted to see laugh, was sure her father was long dead.
As if predicting his urge to see Ella closer, Beth pulled the girl up onto her hip in a practiced and comfortable stance, so Ella and Daryl were nearly face-to-face.
"You're from the gate! You came from the outside!" Ella connected, turning to Daryl with a tilt of her head, some curls falling across her face.
Daryl blanked on an appropriate response, yeah, I'm also your dad didn't seem like the best option, but it was the only one to come to mind. Rather, he simply stared, taking in every small feature of the girl's face he hadn't noticed earlier: the small nose, bright blue eyes, tiny white scar at the top of her forehead.
"This is..." Bath chimed in, breaking the silence only to pause awkwardly, looking around to the room of curious eyes before completing her thought, "This is my good friend, Mr. Daryl Dixon. He just arrived."
Though the introduction felt like a punch to the gut, Daryl knew why Beth hadn't told Ella the truth. It wasn't the time, not in front of everyone. Revealing the truth was a private moment. A family moment.
"Oh." Ella responded curiously. "Where ya gonna live?" She inquired, raising her eyebrows in a fashion that reminded Daryl of his late brother.
Daryl's gut took another hit. He hadn't consciously thought about moving in with Beth and Ella, but he realized it had been his hope. However, he realized that Ella didn't even know who he was, let alone want him to suddenly be the one tucking her into bed or making pancakes in the morning. Daryl couldn't damn well expect to suddenly insert himself in their family picture.
"By the fence." He eventually answered, "They're gonna set me up by the fence."
Ella's eyes lit up with a troublesome curiosity and she leaned in close to Daryl from her mother's arms, looking him dead in the eye and balancing with her hand on his shoulder. "You can hear the walkers from the fence." She whispered, a devious smile flashing across her lips as she locked eyes with Daryl.
"I've met a lot of walkers, not as much fun as you think." Daryl mumbled discouragingly, causing Michonne to chuckle from the corner.
Ella just sighed, straightening herself and wrapping her arms back around Beth's neck. "I knowww," she groaned, sending a pointed look to her mother, who must have told her the same line a million times.
Daryl couldn't help but smile as Ella leaned her head affectionately against Beth's, their blonde and copper hair mixing together. In that moment, he finally felt complete. Even if it took time, even if he had to learn how to be a real father, for the first time in his life, Daryl Dixon felt rooted somewhere. Sure, it still wasn't to a specific place, but it was to his girls.
