Title: Therapy
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Olivia talks to her therapist about her husband's reaction to her pregnancy test results and the implications it has for their relationship. A O/S of the therapist office scene in Wednesday's child.
Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. My stories are not EO and never will be. You may want to read some of my other ones for context on the characters in this AU first - though, it's likely fairly self-explanatory on its own too.
The sounds of car doors slamming outside the house echo through the quiet residence and Ted looked up from where they were just beginning to set up the Clue board with Noah. He cast his wife a look but found her already staring at him with the sound, concern painted across her face.
"I'll check," he said quietly and rose from the table.
It was far too soon for his son and daughter-in-law to be returning to the house. But based on what he'd seen when they'd dropped off his grandson, he wouldn't be surprised if they'd just come back. He almost wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't done much more than drive around the block. They'd sat out in the car for long enough. He'd started to think they weren't going to even get out of the driveway but the car had finally started and the headlines had cast a long shadow through the living room as they backed out and drove away. That hadn't been that long ago, though. Not according to his watch anyways. Though, he got the impression that the minutes might be dragging on forever in the eyes of that couple lately – and not in a good way.
He'd seen it from the moment his son had stepped into the house. William had been near silent while Olivia worked to get Noah settled. He'd taken off his boots to step on his mother's floors but had left on his coat. There'd barely been a pep from him. Little more than a greeting and he seemed reserved even in accepting a peck from his mother and the firm grip of his handshake and half-hug. But if Willie's silence hadn't said enough, his appearance had. It looked like the boy hadn't shaved in weeks and like he hadn't bothered to comb his hair before making their way home. It went far beyond any hat head he might've conjured up on the way over. His eyes looked sunken and tired and his posture was slumped – his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked more like a sulky kid than the professional man and husband and father that Ted had come to expect from his youngest.
But Ted had known something was wrong from the moment that Olivia had called to request a Friday night visit. A Friday night visit was unusual for them. William and Olivia usually came over on a Saturday if they were going to stay overnight and otherwise didn't make the trek until Sunday. But, as unusual as a Friday night visit might be, his son and daughter-in-law certainly didn't need to ask to come over. They were always more than welcome. Their door was always open and even when it was locked – they had a key and could come and go as they pleased. Olivia knew that, though Ted had expressed it to her again. By all means, they could come over and it was never a problem for them to spend time or watch over their grandson. That's what they were there for. That's what he and May relished as grandparents.
What really had been unusual, though, was that it was Olivia who'd done the calling. That was a sign that something was brewing. As close as they'd gotten to their daughter-in-law and as much as they assured her she could call and come over and that it didn't need to be their son who initiated it (or even had to attend in conjunction with her), it was generally William who put in the phone calls to let them know they were coming over for a visit. It was William who sent them emails and phoned just to say hello. Though, those calls and emails hadn't been coming much lately either, which had also been telling.
Really, the signs that their son and daughter-in-law were struggling had been there most of the month, as far as Ted was concerned. On their usual Wednesday visits, William hadn't been showing up after work. He hadn't even been showing up for dinner. He'd waltzed in just as his wife and mother were clearing the table – knowing that he and May always left after the meal. There'd been no time for a visit or chat. After two weeks of that, Olivia had again been the one who'd called them. That time she'd said that things were just busy and she didn't when everyone would be home, so it just didn't make sense for them to come over. Ted always hated that excuse: that they were busy. It just didn't make sense to him. It was on the busy weeks that he and May should be going in to help them the most. It was the times they could most use some help around the apartment or a hand getting some errands done or groceries picked up or meals left in the fridge and freezer. And, he was loath to think about what had happened the last time William had told them not to come in to help on a Wednesday. But they'd begrudgingly listened to her request. Gave them their space.
Giving Willie and Olivia their space anymore was even harder than it had been before. Now it seemed almost intolerable that they couldn't personally check in on them daily – especially after they'd lived with them for three months and they could monitor near every bit of their waking moments. Even though they were grown – more than grown, parents themselves – there was still this biological imperative that told him he should be taking care of them and watching over them. That was hard to do know that they were back to trying to live their own lives. It didn't matter how safe their apartment or building or neighborhood seemed. It didn't matter how much he knew Olivia's squad had her back. Or how good of parents her and William were to Noah. Ted worried. Now he worried more than he had in a long time for any of his children. And, just as it seemed like that worry might be plateauing into acceptance of some way, shape, or form – things just seemed to shift and now his worry was mounting again.
Sometimes he just wished they'd move back out to Staten Island. Sometimes he couldn't understand why they didn't just get a house or apartment there – with their family – in the first place. Sometimes he wished that he and May could afford to get something closer to them because that's was where they were needed right now. Or that somehow it would make sense for them to just move in with his son and daughter-in-law. To help in all of this. Though, he knew them crowding their space wouldn't be any help in the long run. William was his own man – and Olivia her own woman. They didn't need Mom and Dad hovering over them. Though, sometimes Ted thought they both needed that a little bit more than they thought or allowed.
It didn't take one of William's fancy degrees to figure out what all was going on. Or at least Ted didn't think it did. He and May had witnessed the early struggles of their daughter-in-law trying to find her footing after what that bastard had done to her. They'd seen how William had worked to find his place in it and how their little grandson suddenly was trying to be a man in dealing with things that most men don't even have to think about. They'd heard the crying and the nightmares. They'd seen the dazed looks on all three of them. The terror at sounds and smells. The reluctance to let anyone leave their sight or to even leave the house.
It'd been heartbreaking in so many ways to watch the three of them go through it. Ted had seen a lot as a firefighter. He'd seen death – sometimes horrible deaths. He'd lost men of his own. He'd survived 9/11. He'd dealt with young men with drug and alcohol problems. He'd dealt with older men with the same with divorce and kids and stress and fatigue added into the mix. He'd seen all different variations of post-traumatic stress and trauma before. But nothing had quite prepared him for trying to help his youngest son, daughter-in-law and youngest grandson navigate what they'd endured. Nothing had prepared him emotionally for how he'd interact with it either. And, he'd dealt with Willie losing a wife previously.
Ted worried about that. Willie hadn't let them in much when Tessa had died. If anything he'd retreated from the family more than he'd already retreated in that period of his life. And, he'd so hated that the family had developed a public persona in the midst of it. Yet, again, William's family had been struck by tragedy. And, again, the media was knocking at the door and trying to create a story. This time a hero detective. Trying to some how spin what this monster had done to his daughter-in-law into some sort of good news story. It enraged Ted. This time he just wanted them all to leave his family alone. He wanted them to leave Olivia alone – all of them: the press, the lawyers, the union, the NYPD – and to give her time and space to heal. But what he feared most was how Willie interacted with those sorts of things. Or at least how he'd interacted previously.
Ted had thought William had grown and changed, though. He was a new man now that he'd been a husband for three years with a woman he'd been in a relationship with for far longer. Now that he was a father. Ted had been almost comfortable with how William had been acting before. He knew his son had his own struggles and demons in relation to what had happened but he also saw while his family was living with him what a doting husband and father he was. He was there for Olivia. He was there for Noah. Unconditionally. Supportive and present. But Ted had been watching the tide turn on that persona.
Ted couldn't put his finger on it exactly but he suspected that whatever was going on had to do with the trial. The whole thing had been a bit of a circus as far as he'd been concerned. Though, he hadn't dared express that to his son or Olivia. They didn't need to have more added to their already over-flowing plates. He'd even resisted the urge to contact the DA's office or that ADA or that judge or the NYPD or Olivia's union and let them know just how upset he was with what had gone on in that court room. He'd wanted to. But May had calmed him down and said that it wouldn't do anyone any good. If anything, it would likely just get back to Olivia and upset her more than she was already upset. And, that wasn't something Ted wanted to do.
But witnessing that trial – hearing the things said within that courtroom – had been trying for him. Some of it had been near devastating for May and she still fretted and cried (Though, that was another thing that they wouldn't be telling Willie or Olivia.). If it had been that emotionally jarring for them, he couldn't imagine how it had been for Olivia and for William. And, for little Noey. It had been salt in the wound. If the trial and having to enter testimony hadn't been stressful enough in the lead up, to then have to face their abuser – their torturer – had just served to retraumatize the family. Having to sit there in that room with that monster had been more than enough for Ted. But having to hear that man speak, having to watch him interrogate his son and daughter-in-law, having to listen to his little grandson up on that stand … it had been enough to leave Ted wanting to grab him by the neck and to rip out his jugular. At that point he didn't much care what sort of charges or even sentence that might result in.
Some of what had been said in that court room had gone beyond having to re-live the experience – it'd gone beyond public humiliations – and it had reached the point of being grotesquely horrifying. It had been all he could do to stay in his seat. If May hadn't been sitting there in her own silent stream of tears, gripping at his hand, Ted wasn't sure what he would've done. How he could've sat there in silence through that. He'd barely managed to hold his temper as the jury let that man walk away from rape and attempted murder – as though they hadn't heard a word out of William or Olivia's mouths. As though they believed that bastard more than his family. As though they couldn't see the damage that had already been done, the damage that had been piled on in that courtroom and the damage that they contributed to by letting him get off.
That damage – Ted thought it was at the root of whatever was happening now. The distance and the unease he was feeling between his son and daughter-in-law. The disquiet. The rumpled looks and diverted eyes. The near silence from their usually chatty grandson. And, their appearance on a Friday night with a babysitting request and a date night that looked like it had mostly been spent sitting in the driveway thus far.
Ted turned slightly from his gaze out the crack of the curtains as he felt a presence near his shoulder. His wife was trying to peak around him to get a view as well.
"Is it them?" she asked.
Ted nodded. "But I think they are going over to Tommy's," he said. "The loft."
May gazed around him trying to see past the reflection from the living room lighting and out front.
"Well they couldn't have been gone long enough to have had dinner. Does it look like they have something? Maybe I should run some food over to them."
"William's got something in his hand," Ted said. "Just leave them be."
At that point, he thought the best course of action really was to leave them be. Ted hoped that the fact Olivia had called – the fact they were there – meant they'd recognized that something was wrong. They needed a night either with family or on their own or out of the house or without a little boy clinging to their every word, look and bit of body language. They needed something. Ted suspected it was far more than that. Or rather, he was worried it was far more than that. He knew a night wouldn't be enough to fix any of their problems. But he hoped that it would be a small help or at least an impetuous in making it better. He could pray.
"Are Mom and Dad back?" Noah asked suddenly there too and pushing by him, pulling aside the curtains and making their presence in the window entirely apparent.
"No, Noey," Ted said, "your Mom and Dad aren't back yet."
Noah looked up at him and jammed a finger against the glass. "Yes, they are. I can see Mom."
Ted sighed and reached and pulled the curtain back into place and nudged both his wife and grandson away from the window.
"They're back but they're still on their date," he said. "They're going up to Uncle Tommy's loft."
"Well, can I go there too?" Noah asked.
Ted shook his head. "No, Noey. Your Mom and Dad are on a date. They'll come here when they're done. They need some time alone to talk."
"But they don't talk anymore," Noah protested at him. "Dad never comes home and Mom cries every night after she makes me go to bed. And they don't even hug in the morning anymore."
Ted let out a slow sigh at that. Even his grandson saying that stung him so he couldn't imagine how much that was hurting Olivia. It near made him want to storm outside and accost his son between the houses. To remind him what made a good husband and a good father. To remind him of the commitments he'd made and the commitments he had. To tell him how Olivia and Noah deserved far better than he was giving in that moment. That they needed far more than that. That he needed to be a man and to man up. To not screw this up – because he would regret letting that woman and that little boy go for the rest of his life if he ended up hurting or disappointing them beyond repair.
But it was so hard to bring himself to say any of that to his boy when he knew how hurt William was too. He knew his son was a good man and a good husband and a good father, so his grandson's statement – the further glimpse at what was going on in that apartment – only served to cast a light on just how much Willie was struggling. He was struggling so much he couldn't be there for his wife – and for his son – in the ways Ted had seen William be in the days and weeks and months that followed what had happened.
Ted had watched his son in that courtroom. On those benches and on the stand. He'd seen his rage and heard it. He'd seen his anger and his hurt. He'd seen the tears. But he'd seen the fear too. Though Ted didn't think he'd seen his son break in that room, he was sure he'd seen him fracture. And, he was sure just as sure that those fractures had now turn into cracks that he could only hope Willie and Olivia were trying to patch that night. Or at least beginning their efforts too – before the dam burst and they had an even bigger mess on their hands. One that would have far too many ramifications for far too many people. The stakes were too high and this wasn't a game.
It pained him though to hear from the mouth of a babe how much his daughter-in-law was hurting. To hear she was crying when she thought she had privacy. To be doing it alone in the dark. Hidden.
Even now looking out the window, he could see Olivia hanging back. She was barely following after William. Almost like he was unsure if she was going to follow. Almost like she might be heading for the house while he was heading for the garage. Ted hoped that wasn't the case. What Ted did know, though, was that Olivia wasn't much of a follower. But since the spring, he'd seen her hanging back more and more.
Ted loved all his daughter-in-laws. He'd been happy to add them to his family and even happier and they and his sons had added grandchildren to his family. But he'd always felt like he had a bit more special connection with Olivia, even though he'd known her the shortest period. But he could relate to her more. He could understand where she was coming from. He knew the fronts and the personality type. He had some idea of what she saw and did on the job and all the burdens that carried – especially when you had children. Ted actually thought at the beginning (maybe even now in his own way), he'd understood it more than William. He wasn't sure that William had known what he was getting into. But what he was getting into was exactly what he needed. It was how Ted felt the day (after) he'd met the woman, and it was still how he felt now.
It wasn't just that, though. As much as his son had needed a woman like Olivia to call his wife. Olivia had needed a man like William to call her husband. But Ted knew it wasn't just a husband that Olivia had been looking for. He'd caught onto that not far into her first visit. She was a woman looking for a place and a community. She was someone without a family.
Ted had never really tried to be a father figure for her. That'd be presumptuous of him. He never got the sense from Olivia that that was what she wanted or needed. A family, a place – yes. A father and grandparents for her son – perhaps. But a father – no. Ted had known she had other men in her life to provide that on some level if that was something she desired at all. It wasn't his job. Though, he had felt since the family's ordeal, he'd gotten closer to her. Maybe he'd become more like a father to her. Or maybe he'd really just been a person she trusted who was available to listen. Not that they had really talked about any of it. Not in detail. At least no more detail than what Ted had already heard while being in the police station or rescue scene or in the hospital. Definitely not in the haunting details he'd had to seethed through in court. But he'd been there for Olivia. He'd been more than willing to support her and distract her. To try to help her find her feet.
He'd expected other people in her life to be doing just as much. He'd particularly expected it to come from John Munch and Don Cragen. Two older man that she seemed to hold so much respect for. (MINOR ROLLERCOSTER SPOILER ALERT IN THE NEXT COUPLE SENTENCES – in bold and italtics to skip if you like.) Part of him had even expected Elliot Stabler to come out of the woodwork. To show up at that police precinct. To show up at their house in the aftermath. To come to the trial. But he hadn't. Ted knew he shouldn't have hoped for the man to show more of a spine. Not when he'd already disappointed the family when Noey had fallen ill again. Whatever ties that had been left had dissolved into nothingness in the fallout from that. But it should've been a different story with John and Don.
It should've been such a different story. They'd seen what Olivia had had to go through. They saw how she was coping. They knew she needed help. She needed their strength and support. And, John just decides to leave with some sort of bullshit excuse about a case getting to him. It was Olivia's case that should've gotten to him. Not one that mirrored cases he'd already had to deal with at least a dozen time in his career in SVU. And, in getting to him, Olivia's case should've spurred him to rally around her, as far as Ted was concerned. Around her and around her family. Around her little son who Ted knew thought Unkie Munchie was by far the cooler and superior uncle compared to his Uncle Robbie and Uncle Tommy. But he'd left. On his way – barely two months after Olivia was back on the job. Ted had managed to bite his tongue. At least John had minorly kept in touch with his son and daughter-in-law's family. Not as much as Ted thought someone considered family should – but at least he'd called. At least he'd checked in on him. At least he was still around for Noey. Don Cragen had disappointed Ted far more.
Ted couldn't bring himself to understand how his daughter-in-law's Captain could retire early. Not with what his squad was still bouncing back from. Having worked with people under him for years, after having all these people he was responsible for managing, these young people who looked up to him and counted on him – Ted just could not understand. He couldn't relate. And, even if Don had felt it was time to retire, after serving as Captain to such a small squad for so long, when so many of those people had been under his command for so many years, and when he'd repeatedly heard the man refer to his daughter-in-law, as 'my girl' – Ted couldn't comprehend leaving and going on a cruise for six months. Not two weeks. Six months. In the midst of a family's breakdown that hadn't been resolved – that in anything, looked like it was getting worse. And not just that, leaving after encouraging Olivia to go for a promotion – which Ted never doubted for a second that she more than deserved and for which he was exceedingly proud of her – but it meant added responsibility when she was already flailing in dealing with regular, daily, mundane life and the job as it was. Now she had all this extra work, all these new duties, all these extra personalities to manage. Ted wasn't sure he could forgive Don Cragen for that. He wasn't sure what the man was thinking.
Olivia had made some comment about him going for a 'hail marry' in the love and happiness department. Ted had tried to respect and appreciate that. Having had a family of his own and having struggled to keep it together himself while he was on the job – he couldn't entirely relate. But he'd known that Olivia's captain had been a widower – losing his wife to tragedy. So, he tried to think of what would've happened to Will if he hadn't found Olivia and her little boy. If he'd spent his adult life alone with only his work. It had been something he and May had feared would happen for years. For years it had seemed like their son wasn't even trying to move on that he put all his energy into his work and had narrowed his focus to just those numbers in front of him. Ted supposed Willie could've easily have become Don Cragen if it hadn't been for happenstance. So he forced himself to try to understand the choice and to try to forgive the man for leaving his daughter-in-law when she was in need – even though he was clearly the one that Olivia thought of when she thought of as a father figure in her life. The real test, though, would be when the man returned from his trip. If he tried to be a part of the family's life or not. Or if he would have faded into his own. Ted suspected he knew the ending to the story.
But he bit his tongue there too. He told himself that even though Olivia had worked with those men for so much of her adult life – since she was barely out of her 20s – it was his family that she'd chosen to become a part of. It was their family that she was a part of. And as much resistance as she'd shown to letting them be that for her – she was a member of their family now, and a treasured one at that. Ted hated to see her in pain and he hated more to think that her son was now contributing to it, blindly or otherwise. That his son wasn't able to provide this woman the support she needed right now when she was grappling with things he'd never wish on anyone. Things that horrified him that one of the women in his tight knit family had had to endure.
It wasn't fair - and he didn't want her crying in the dark about it while her little boy was alone and scared in the next room and his son was trying to hide God-knows where. It just made him want to end the babysitting and date night and board game and stomp out front. To give his daughter-in-law a tight hug, to take his son aside for a talk and then to wave some magic wand and to try to figure out how to fix this for all of them.
But instead all Ted could muster was to give his wife a look and she just gave him a frown before looking down at their grandson and tapping his shoulder.
"Come on now, Noah," she said gently. "Let's finish getting the game all set up."
"But Uncle Rob and Aunt Karen aren't even here yet," he whined. It was clear that with his parents having arrived back, his interest in the board game was dwindling.
Getting Noey to want to stay there had been challenging enough. There'd been his angry foot stomp and tears while Olivia was trying to get him settled. William had stayed uninvolved in the process. Though, Ted had overheard Olivia offering the promise that if Noey behaved that night his daddy would be taking him over to the comic store in the morning. He got the sense that Noah didn't much believe that bribe. There'd been a comment from the little boy that his father hadn't taken him to get a comic in 'forever' – and whatever that length of time actually was, Ted knew that it was uncharacteristic of his son as well.
Willie taking Noey to the comic store seemed to be a Saturday ritual. If it wasn't the comic store, it was the three of them at come book store or coffee shop. They used to talk about it. It used to be if any of the family called over to Willie's family on a Saturday, that's where they'd inevitably be. But that didn't happen much anymore. It hadn't since the spring. Ted suspected they didn't do it anymore. He got the impression that they hardly left their apartment when they were home together. That they hadn't explored their new neighborhood or borough. They hadn't found a new book store or comic shop or coffee shop or brunch spot. That they just huddled together like scared animals. Because that was how he sometimes saw them anymore while he watched them. Even though they were still his family when he looked at them, they weren't the people they had been eight months ago. It pained him.
He and May had been trying so hard to help them navigate back to their former lives. He knew it was an unrealistic expectation. You couldn't exactly go back to the every day after something like this. But they'd tried to encourage them in things they had use to enjoy. He invited them out on his Saturday morning coffee outings. They provided an escort (security guard) on walks. May made cookies with Noah and they brought home books for Olivia and Noey to read together. They tried to introduce new distraction for them like puttering in the wood shed or in the garden. And, they tried to embrace things that they thought their youngest's family might enjoy even if it wasn't much for them – like this damn board game that Noey was quickly losing interest in. It wasn't proving to be much of a distraction after all.
"They'll be here soon," Ted said. "They're bringing that Baby Gargoyle dip you like so much. So you better have that board all set up."
Noah gave him a look like he was completely ridiculous. "Baba ghanoush, Popa," he groaned.
Ted made a face right back at him. "I don't know what your parents are feeding you," he said.
Noah huffed more. "It's just eggplant!"
Ted made a small gagging noise in a tease. "All I know if that Uncle Robbie is bringing Popa pretzels. So that game better be ready so Nana lets me eat."
"You eat it with pita and vegetables! Not pretzels!" Noah protested.
"Too healthy," Popa put back at him and made a dismissive wave.
"Popa …" Noah sighed.
"I'm making up a plate of veggies and pita chips too, Noah, don't you worry," May told him and again tried to hustle him back to the table.
"I don't like YOUR pita chips," Noah shot back. "They're gross. They are all hard and crunchy. They just rip apart your mouth!"
May gave him a sterner look. "Then you don't have to eat them, Noah," she said. "But maybe other people at the table will want them. Now come along. Popa will be back over in a minute."
"Get Col. Mustard all ready for me," Ted said thinking it might distract the boy from apparently further aggravating him with the mention of the food that was meant to be a treat he liked. But it was the wrong thing to say. Noah spun back around.
"NO. Daddy is always Col. Mustard," he protested a little too loudly. "You can't be Col. Mustard and no one can't be Miss Scarlet. That's MOM!"
"Well there's only six pieces and there's five of us playing, Noey, so you're going to have to let someone be one of them," Ted contended. "I sure look a lot more like Col. Mustard than your Daddy does."
Noah squinted at him. "You do not," he said.
Ted nodded. "I do too. You go take a look and let me know. Because I don't think Aunt Karen will make a very good Miss Scarlet."
"She's Ms. Peacock. Nana is Mrs. White," Noah informed him.
"Ah. And who's Uncle Robbie?"
"Mr. Green."
"And you?"
"I'm the PROFESSOR!" Noah informed him again at an unnecessary decibel. "That's what my dad says!"
Ted nodded. "And who's that leave for me?"
Noah's squint got a bit angrier. "You can eat pretzels," he said with a tone that Ted didn't much like.
But he just allowed a small nod again. And May again cast him a sad look. "We can talk about it when everyone gets here," she said. "Come help me finish setting up the game."
Ted watched them for a moment. He could see some fuming anger in his grandson and the tone and attitude the boy had shown since getting there was rubbing Ted the wrong way. Part of him wanted to correct it. He wanted to sit his grandson down and have a talk with him too. But he knew it was more complicated than that.
He'd watched how Olivia and Will dealt with him anymore. Noah got away with everything – and it was an awful time for that to be happening because he was raging against an internal anger and confusion about what had happened to him and his mother and his father and now what was happening to his family. Since he couldn't rectify what had occurred it was manifesting itself more in behavior problems than in tears. Those happened too. The little boy cried and he trembled and he could hardly sleep through the night. He wet his bed and he just clung to anyone near him. He couldn't stand to be along. He couldn't stand the dark. He hate loud sounds or music or water. He was heartbreaking to see. But it was the rage in the boy that scared Ted.
Olivia used to govern that boy with such a strong tone and a firm hand – and his Willie, who Ted had always wonder how such a gentle soul would manage as a father – had followed suit. Even when Noey had been sick, that boy was governed. Sometimes it was to the point that even Ted had almost cut in and told them to give the child a break. Instead, he and May had relished in being the grandparents for him and being the ones who got to bend the rules and get everyone to loosen up. Ted hadn't understood how daughter-in-law could still manage to be so stern when her little boy was effectively dying, but she had been. She had rules and order and Noey was a good boy. Smart, well-behaved – as much as any little boy is – and generally, happy. A funny little thing. But not anymore. And, his parents didn't seem to try to reign in the behavior anymore either. It was like because of what he'd been through they couldn't bring themselves to chide him. Noey needed the chiding, though. He needed to be told he couldn't cope like that. He needed the stern voice and the discipline and the hugs now as much or more than he had during the cancer. But there were days Ted didn't know how to say that to his son and daughter-in-law either. Because he admitted, even when Noey was in his care, thinking about what had happened to him – especially now after the court case and hearing all he'd heard there about what had gone on in that room and what that little boy had bore witness to and had been left to languish in – he wasn't sure how to chide him either. He just wanted to hug his grandson endlessly and repeat like a broken record that he was going to be alright, that his parents were going to be alright. That he was safe and that Popa would never, ever, ever, EVER let anything like that happen to him ever again.
Ted wondered how much Will and Olivia had told each other about their separate experiences. How much they actually had talked in the months leading up to the trial. They were man and wife. He knew they must talk. He knew that they had rough spots and arguments and bickering just like any married couple. They'd experienced some of the tension and their home had become the neutral ground or the area of retreat before over the years. But as much as he knew they must talk, he'd never really thought of either William or Olivia as talkers. Willie never had been – and Olivia, though she had a sharp tongue when she wanted too – she wasn't ever overly chatty. They were both fiercely independent people too. He knew that. He thought they'd both needed that in their lives. A partner who could respect that and not try to beat it out of them. It did make him wonder, though, how much of what had been said in the trial the other had been prepared for.
Ted McTeague wasn't sure anyone could've really been prepared for that trial. After seeing that trial, he doubted that any victim of sexual assault or violence or rape ever was. You can't ever truly be prepared for something like that. But the last minute inclusion of William Lewis as representing himself and being allowed to speak to them and cross-examine them and twist and contort ever hour and minute and second of the entire experience for them. Not matter what their doctors or therapists or lawyers had done to prepare them for the trial – there was no way any of them had prepared them for that. It was a month later and he still caught May in tears about some of the things that had been said there. The looks of that monster and how he'd spoken to them and raged at them and hurt them all again. If Will and Olivia hadn't talked as much as maybe they needed to before the trial, Ted was sure things got brought up there that stung in strange and agonizing ways. It'd left him and May grappling with what had happened to those three in whole new ways. Ted could hardly imagine having to try to grapple with that as events having been inflicted on his wife and son.
He glanced back out the curtain. Will had made it up the steps and was working at the door, finally switching a light on and calling something down to Olivia, who finally seemed to follow after him. Ted wondered if Will was checking the security of the space for them first or if he'd just been sent up to see if the door was open and Olivia had stayed down to go and retrieve the keys if necessary. He hoped it wasn't that they were fighting. He knew they were. Or something of that sort. But he hoped that they could manage to talk. They so needed to talk and they so needed to be together. He hoped they could at least see that. They needed each other. That amidst all the rest of the sounds being made – that they could hear that. From each other.
