As Daryl watched her, her eyes shut and lips set, he knew Beth was struggling with the same internal conflict as him: what comes next? They couldn't reasonably pretend this had never happened. Not just because their bodies were currently bare and tangled under a thin patchwork quilt, but because Daryl would struggle to ever look at Beth again and not connect it to the previous night.
"Beth?" He ventured gruffly, not fully wanting the moment to end but knowing they were pushing their luck by spending the whole night away from the group.
Her eyes sprung open, trying to look up at him from her place on his chest. Cautiously, she started to pull her body away from his, unwrapping her legs from his one at a time and beginning to inch away to "her side" of the bed; but in that moment Daryl took one of the biggest risks of his life: he stopped her. The instant Daryl's arm wrapped around her back, he knew it was the right move, but he also knew there was no going back. A content smile played across her lips and she wordlessly repositioned herself into his side, her head onto his arm, so they could speak face to face.
"So…" He began slowly, his arm still firmly around her, "What was that?"
Beth just smiled, baring her teeth as if he had told a joke, "Well Daryl Dixon, I believe we had sex."
Daryl allowed his head to fall into the pillow for a moment before turning to look back to Beth.
"So what the hell do we do now?"
Beth took a deep breath, her eyes flashing with uncertainty at his seemingly frustrated tone. "I don't know…"
Daryl didn't respond. He couldn't respond. He wasn't sure he had the right to ask for what he wanted to come next.
"We figure it out as we go?" Beth suggested after a while, raising her eyebrows tentatively.
"Yeah. But…"
Beth didn't even ask for an explanation as Daryl's voice trailed off, she just gave him a reassuring smile. "The group doesn't have to know. This can just be between us."
"Secrets rarely end well with our group…" Daryl started to argue.
"Everyone has their secrets. Why not us?"
Daryl didn't respond so Beth continued, "I'm not asking for some future Daryl. I know we'll never go out to dinner and a movie. I know there's no house with a white picket fence or a slide for the kids. We will never have a normal relationship, but we have now, we have this. Why not try it out? Try to be happy for once? You deserve that. We both do."
Daryl removed his hand from Beth's back and moved it up to the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair and bending his body awkwardly so he could kiss her. "Happy. Interestin concept." He murmured through her lips before leaning back and propping himself up on his left hand so he could observe Beth lying next to him.
Daryl took his finger and absent-mindedly began to draw a line along her jaw, considering the possibility of trying to make this relationship work. When he saw her cheeks and chest flush in response he continued onto her throat, watching the red hue under her pale skin deepen as he traced further down. He could feel his own cheeks flush as his finger continued slowly between her breasts, letting his hand linger before continuing around her stomach and resting his hand at the small of her back. He smiled at the realization that this may not be the last time he gets to trace her freckles and for once he wanted, more than anything, to find a way to be happy. Survival wasn't enough anymore.
"This ain't safe." Daryl groaned, suddenly remembering where they were.
"Well then we have to get some condoms next run, cause we both know this'll happen again."
"No not that. Well, yes, that. But also, just layin around like this. We gotta put some damn clothes on, Greene. If this house was overrun right now I sure as hell wouldn't want to run back to camp buck-ass naked."
Beth smirked, "I'm sure everyone would enjoy that."
"I'm not kiddin. We need to be more careful if this is gonna continue."
Beth nodded in agreement, but neither party moved, unwilling to let the normalcy of the moment end.
"Doesn't mean the clothes can't come off again." Beth finally reminded him with a smirk before moving to get dressed.
"We didn't even make it to dinner." Beth laughed, letting her head fall back on the pillow in a moment of triumph.
"Hmph. And whose fault is that?" Daryl accused, sitting up in the bed and running his hands through his tangled hair. He had combed it before picking Beth up, but that didn't mean anything now.
"Yours. I'd never seen you in a tie. I didn't even know you knew how to tie a tie. You didn't expect me to sit through a whole meal, did you?"
"It's Rick's. Carl tied it. Ties aren't really my thing. But they said you'd like it."
"Then the cologne is one of theirs too?" Beth asked with a smirk.
Daryl could feel his face flush. Like the tie, he had never worn cologne, felt it was too much like wearing perfume, but Carl had insisted. However, now that he thought about it, Carl's laugh when offering the bottle did seem rather mischievous. "Ya didn't like it?"
Beth reached up, playing with the long strands of hair at the base of Daryl's neck. "Not that I didn't like it. You smelled great. I just prefer… your scent I guess. I never realized how well I knew your smell until I didn't have it anymore. I used to wake up smelling it."
"You mean sweat, dirt, and the occasional walker guts?" Daryl questioned skeptically.
"I smelled the same." Beth countered.
"Nah. You always smelled good." Daryl disagreed. She had always had a sweetness to her scent, even when covered in sweat, "Other than the time you ended up under the walker I shot. I had told you to step back."
Beth didn't feed into the teasing, she just laughed, seemingly recalling the long and fragrant walk back to their camp after that particular run.
As they lay together, Beth made no attempt to use the bed sheet to cover herself and Daryl was relieved to see how quickly they had melded back together, became comfortable with each other. He did not hide as his eyes yet again ran the length of her body. She was still thin, but her ribs were less prominent than they had been years ago and despite spending plenty of time outside, her tan lines were limited to the tops of her shoulders, which were pink with a slight burn.
"You still owe me dinner, Mr. Dixon." Beth chided, trying to keep her voice serious. "We should head over if we want to get to Brenda's before she closes up for the night."
After a little more prodding, Daryl got dressed quickly, pulling on jeans and a grey tee shirt rather than the ill fitting button up shirt and tie he had worn earlier.
He watched as Beth slipped into her sleeveless black dress, turning wordlessly in request for Daryl to zip up the back, which met in a V between her shoulder blades.
Beth and Daryl walked almost silently toward the center of town. This time, their silence wasn't caused by awkwardness or uncertainty, but rather by a confidence that their questions and comments could be saved for later. They had time.
After a few minutes, Beth stopped Daryl in front of an old grey colonial. Not much on the outside indicated it was a restaurant of any kind, but Beth walked inside without hesitation.
"You two are a little late?" An older woman teased with a smirk, wiping her hands with a blue rag as the couple walked inside.
"We got… caught up in something." Beth blushed, "Anything left to eat, Brenda?"
"Always for you dear; take a seat."
Daryl nodded appreciatively at the older woman before looking around him. They stood in what looked like a large living room of the house. The kitchen was the next room over, but was hidden behind a large black sheet. Mismatched tables and chairs were scattered around the room and a few patrons were still seated at their tables, warm beverages steaming in their hands.
"Right here." Beth led Daryl by his arm to a seat by the front window, looking out onto the main street of the town.
"This is Brenda's place. She was a chef at a restaurant in DC before all of this happened. Now she organizes the town meal every Sunday. She also takes care of cooking and serving who can't do it for themselves."
Daryl nodded, looking over as the woman spoke to one of the remaining tables, writing notes into a binder.
"On top of that she runs this place. Just trades for meals. Nothing like she used to be able to do, but it's fun to pretend sometimes…" Beth trailed off, adjusting the shawl around her shoulders.
"It's not pretending. And I figure it's not worth comparing anymore. And no matter how you look at it, this is nice. I was eating half cooked snake just a week ago."
Beth rolled her eyes, "I don't miss that."
"It wasn't that bad. Better than starvin." Daryl replied matter-of-factly.
"Well, this place will be better. We had Ella's fifth birthday here. Just the dinner, the party was at Rick's. She loved it. Brenda made venison steaks. It was nice…"
"You're callin my steaks just nice?" Brenda interjected, approaching the table with a smile. Daryl couldn't help but be reminded of the grandmother from fairytales when looking at the woman in her checkered apron and bifocals.
"Sorry Brenda. They were amazing." Beth replied with an easy laugh.
"I'll forgive you darling. Who couldn't?" Brenda turned to Daryl, a twinkle in her eye, "Do this is the boy? Or should I say man? I guess we all assumed the lost father would be a little closer to your own age?"
"What does it matter anymore?" Daryl grumbled defensively.
Brenda just laughed, throwing her head back. "Nothin, Darlin. My boyfriend's almost 20 years younger. Doesn't matter at all these days. Especially when one looks as tasty as you!"
"Hmm" Daryl shot an unsure look to Beth who only laughed before turning to Brenda herself.
"What's on the menu tonight, Brenda?"
"Fish stew. Some fresh bread too."
Beth smiled, "That sounds lovely. Thank you."
Brenda left two unrequested iced teas at the table and turned back to the kitchen, hugging a couple on their way out before disappearing behind the curtain.
"So… Everyone knows who I am?"
"Guess it wasn't too hard to put the pieces together. Few people knew your name from us talkin about you. But we're spendin a lot of time together. You're spendin a lot of time with Ella. Doesn't take a genius."
"Hmmm."
It was only minutes before Brenda arrived with two bowls of stew and a small loaf of bread. Though Daryl had been eating well since arriving in Alexandria, he couldn't help but inhale the food in front of him, as if it might disappear any moment. As he drained the bowl, Beth sat across from him with knowing smile on her face, her meal still untouched.
"Takes a while to adjust." She admitted. "Once Ella asked us at dinner why we all eat so quickly. I hadn't realized how much our paces had changed from being out there. How I always acted hungry, even if I wasn't."
"Guess it's good. That she doesn't know bein hungry."
As Beth finished her soup (making sure to offer the left over bread to Daryl to bring home) she filled him in further on her experiences in Alexandria. Daryl kept prompting her for further stories of Ella's birthdays, first words, memorable tantrums, anything to help him know more about what he missed. Though Beth tried to catch up on his life, Daryl didn't have much to share. For 6 years he repeated the cycle countless times. Survive on his own, find food, find shelter, meet up with a new group, stay with them a while, then take off.
"So, did any of those groups make it here? Have you asked?" Beth inquired, her eyes full of curiosity.
"Haven't seen any of them… Don't know if I could've changed that. Maybe travelled with them longer? Made it here sooner?"
Beth grabbed Daryl's hand across the table, squeezing it softly, "It hurt. Thinking I lost you hurt. Thinking you were alive somewhere without me hurt more. I understand Daryl. I know why you weren't here sooner."
Daryl nodded, just as Brenda reappeared at the table, her payment binder in hand. "So, Mr. Dixon, you mentioned going hunting tomorrow? Bringing me back some fresh meat for Sunday's meal?"
"Yeah, I figured we'd go out in the morning." Daryl shot a look over to Beth, who looked surprised at the news, having missed the negotiation when she used the restroom.
"Sounds good! I'll see you tomorrow then!" Brenda shot Daryl a smile but seemed to resist her usual embrace. Rather she turned to Beth, pulling her up into a hug and whispering loudly into her ear, "You deserve this sweetie, I'm glad everything's workin out."
As Brenda walked away, Daryl stood up, meeting Beth's curious gaze. "We're goin hunting? As in you and me?"
"Well…" Daryl started nervously, "I was hoping maybe Ella too."
Beth didn't respond right away, rather she led the way out of the restaurant and onto the street, walking a block before finally replying with one word, "No."
"Beth…" Daryl began to implore.
"It's not safe. She's never been outside the gates."
"Exactly. One day she might need to be. And you wouldn't want it to be a shock, I couldn't live with myself if she was unprepared." Daryl had rehearsed his words the night before, knowing this conversation was coming once Ella told him about the magical world she thought existed beyond the fence. The fear of what would happen if she had to go outside the gate unprepared had been keeping him up at night. If he could teach his daughter anything, it would be survival skills.
Daryl risked a glance over to Beth as they walked, her face now set and her lips pursed.
"No." She responded again, her voice firm. "It's not safe."
"I'm not tryin to tell ya how to parent… I just… Learnin to hunt early saved my life more than once as a kid. It's a useful skill. Especially now."
"She'll be terrified." Beth argued, shaking her head.
"And with us. She can't just be afraid. Kids who are just afraid… well they don't survive out there. That can't happen to her. She needs to be ready. Just incase. Just incase this doesn't work out. She needs to be ready." Daryl was almost ashamed of the pleading in his voice, but he stopped anyway, forcing Beth to face him in the middle of the street. "Sophia died, years ago, because she was so scared. She didn't know what to do and she didn't have basic survival skills. Hopefully Ella will never be forced to leave these walls, but we can't have her unprepared. I can't…"
Beth tried to argue back, but her resolved had clearly weakened when she heard Daryl mention Sophia's loss, "She's only five…"
"But she's smart. If we start now… she'll be safer. She'll be prepared." Daryl took a deep breath, "I know this isn't my decision. I haven't been here long. I don't have the right. But I've seen too many kids lost because they weren't ready. Ella can't be one of those kids, I won't let her be."
Beth sighed, her face changing, "You're gonna want to use the motorcycle to get to the woods… aren't you?"
