Prompt 3 – Difficulty Saying "I Love You"

Doing Tamsin's POV this time.

Also, I don't speak Norwegian so I hope I got the context of "I love you" right. So if you speak Norwegian feel free to correct me if I am wrong so I can correct it.

Enjoy!

"Tamsin," the Valkyrie said aloud to herself. "Tamsin Odinsdottír. Get ahold of yourself."

She paced back and forth across the bedroom trying to decide how she was going to do this. She had to tell Bo that she had fallen in love with her and was not willing to continue with the whole friends with benefits charade. It wasn't a charade to her. It was real.

It was just three words. Three stupid words. And yet they seemed impossible to say.

She could convey it alright. She could wrap herself up in a bow, throw out the term "girlfriends" casually, and tell Bo she thought she was perfect. But not say those words. I love you.

In her past lives, she had forbidden herself to ever think those words, let alone say them. Falling in love had always seemed like a distraction. It got in the way of her mercenary activities.

In any case, she knew now that she had never loved any of those others in her past lives. Been attracted to, yes. Respected, yes. But not in love. Samuel, Marié- Claude, David, Aslaug…after many lifetimes the list was long. Even Haraldr couldn't compare to what she felt for Bo. Not even close.

The mere thought of saying those words terrified her beyond belief. Bo hadn't exactly been thrilled at the "girlfriends" statement, so how would she react the statement of love? Tamsin feared her feelings would not be reciprocated…but then again she felt as if she would die if she didn't tell Bo.

She stopped pacing. She had to do this. If she couldn't say those words aloud, at least she could write them down. How could Bo resist reading an "accidently" open diary?

Tamsin pried open the floorboard she had last stuffed it under. Using two hands, she pulled the old book out slowly. It was ancient, and even though she had written so much in this book, so many things she regretted admitting, it was precious to her. She hoped she wouldn't have to add this entry to the list of regrets. She flipped open to the first free page.

As she searched for a pen, she remembered watching those cheezy teenage movies with Kenzi and immediately felt like one of those stereotypical girls, drooling over her crush while she wrote in her diary.

But this was no crush. Bo and her had a connection. They were bound by power and experience. They were both lost girls finally coming home.

It was time to do this.

Tamsin sat on the bed, picked up her pen, and began to write the words she had hidden for so long.

Dear Diary, I love her. Bo Dennis. She is the light of my life, if Valkyrie's can even have a light of their life. I don't know when I started to care, but gods, I care now. I am perplexed by her existence. I have been ever since I realized she was my target. But it is a beautiful confusion now. I am beginning to understand we are more alike that I could have ever thought. I feel as if my heart will burst every time I am near her. I have never felt like this not in all my lifetimes. I tried to deny it at first, but now I know. I love her. Whatever happens, I will never stop loving her. I only hope that she loves me too.

Tamsin found herself uncharacteristically crying by the end of it. No wonder she never let herself love. It was always too painful in the end. She tried to stop, but the tears kept coming.

"What are you doing? Valkyrie's don't cry. Stop it," she hissed to herself. "Stop it stop it stop it."

That was when Bo entered the room.

Tamsin angrily wiped her cheeks, trying to hide the fact that she, a proud and magnificent Valkyrie, had been reduced to tears by something so stupid.

Bo looked concerned. "Tamsin? Are you alright?"

Tamsin sniffled. "Yup. Fine."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm sorry. Shit. I'm sorry. This was all a mistake." She slammed her diary shut.

"What was a mistake?"

"I'm sorry Bo, I can't. I just can't. I'd rather live with the unknown." Tamsin slid off the bed, diary in hand.

"Tamsin, wait." Bo grabbed her arm. "You can tell me. You know you can trust me."

"Trust isn't the problem here." Tamsin sniffled again. She cracked the diary open to the entry and held it out to Bo. "Now excuse me while I go die." She ran out of the room as fast as possible.

Back in the room she used to share with Kenzi she flopped on her old bed and buried her head under a pillow. Could she just expire now? It would be less painful. Then she would be in Valhalla forever and never have to deal with anything again. Unless Bo ended up in Valhalla. Which was likely. Then she would be screwed in her afterlife as well.

A creaking of floorboards alerted Tamsin to the fact Bo had entered the room. She pulled the pillow above her head tighter. "Let me die in peace."

"Well according to you diary, it sounds to me like you couldn't die in peace unless I was by your side."

Pulling the pillow tighter, Tamsin groaned. If she were human the lack of oxygen probably would have killed her by now.

"Tamsin? Hey, Tamsin." Bo slapped her leg. "Don't you want to hear what I have to say?"

Not really. Tamsin slowly released the pillow from her head. She silently prayed to Freyja to let her expire then and there if this did not go well. She knew the bitch was probably watching and listening to this in her all-seeing ways, laughing at her.

The Valkyrie opened her eyes. Bo sat across from her.

"Tamsin, why didn't you just tell me?"

Tamsin looked away. "I couldn't. I was terrified. You're a succubus. I figured I'm probably nothing more to you than something to do when you're bored."

"Tamsin!" Bo exclaimed.

"Wouldn't blame you for thinking that way." Tamsin got up and started pacing. "Why does it even matter? You weren't exactly too keen on being called my girlfriend."

Bo got up and grabbed Tamsin's hands. "Tamsin, you haven't let me say anything…"

"I'm sorry. I just had to get it off my chest. Bo, I'm drowning here, and I don't think I can take it anymore."

Bo intertwined her fingers with the Valkyrie's. "Tamsin. You are not just something to do. You are far more than that. Every time I wake up next to you I feel so wonderful. I'm honored that you chose me."

"Honored, huh?" Tamsin couldn't meet Bo's eyes. She let go of the succubus' hands.

"To have your love. A Valkyrie's love is a rare thing, as is a succubus'. We are both not meant for that…

"But then why do I love you!" Tamsin snapped. She threw her hands up in the air. "There! I said it. I love you."

"And I love you, Tamsin." Bo wrapped her arms about the Valkyrie's waist.

"Wait, what?"

"I. Love. You." Bo nodded after each word.

Tamsin felt like she would pass out. Her wildest hopes had come true. Did Bo just say that? "I didn't think you would say it back…"

"I felt the spark when we first met, I didn't think much of it then. But I see now. And I am so happy." Bo pulled the Valkyrie into a kiss.

When they finished Tamsin hugged her tight and let her head fall on Bo's shoulder. In her content, she slipped into her native tongue. "Jeg elsker deg, jeg elsker deg, I love you so much."

"I love you too," Bo reaffirmed for the third time.

Tamsin felt reborn once more at hearing those words, as if all her hatred and pent-up anger from thousands of years had suddenly disappeared. She wouldn't look back on those days anymore. Not with this to look forward too. There was only her future, and that was Bo.