A/N: I hate Khali. I've never met anyone who actually likes the guy. I really hate Khali.
What the fuck is a Punjabi? I've never heard of such nonsense before in my life. They call Khali the Punjabi nightmare, but if I don't know what the hell a Punjabi is, how the fuck am I supposed to have nightmares about it? Khali is terrible. He's just another case of some huge guy who got in the WWE based on size, not skill. Hello, John Cena.
I know you're all thinking about the draft when I BEAT JOHN CENA and Khali ended up getting sent to my show. Yeah, when I found out Khali was coming, I did look scared. I noticed that when I saw the tape of it later. Do you scumbags even know why I looked like that? It's because my left leg went numb after the match. I think Cena gave me some sort of disease or something. I am not scared of Khali. Khali is one ugly mother fucker, but I have to see ugly guys all the time. Hey, another Cena reference. I love when I can kill two birds with one stone like that.
Khali can't even speak decent English! He needs a fucking translator to do everything for him! If you take away what's his face, then Khali can't even contend for anything because he can't communicate with us. All he does is do that stupid hand chop. Please. I may not be able to big boot his ugly face in, but my boot can reach a more important spot on him, and I'm not afraid to do it.
I'd hate to see Khali's sister. Hell, I'd hate to see his mother. I feel bad for the lady. She must be pretty ugly. I mean, if you spawn that…I don't know what the views on capital punishment are over in Punjabi-land, but I think they should have put the lady to sleep if she even thought about reproducing.
Somehow, Khali has a hot wife. What the hell was she thinking? Hey, lady, I'm available.
Khali brought over the worst stipulation match ever: the Punjabi Prison match. That match sucks. It's not even cool, and incredibly boring. That's why we have cage matches, dumb fuck. And of course, Khali bailed on that match. And of course, management was stupid enough to make that match again even though they knew that it sucked. No one liked it. No one ever wanted to see that match again. Oh, and Khali lost. He lost his own damn match in his first go. HA!
I think Khali needs a haircut. I am the only superstar in back who can properly rock the long hair.
I think the ultimate gay bash would be a triple threat Khali, Umaga, and John Cena. Actually, throw Randy Orton in there and it can be a fatal four fuck way. It would be scary, though.
When Khali looks at me, I see his eyes all bug out. What the hell? Is he stunned by my charisma and boyish charm?
I want to set Khali loose in Canada. I bet he'd tear through all of our maple syrup in like an hour, that fat fuck. It scares me to know that a man like Khali is allowed to run around the world unattended. Aren't you afraid he's going to eat your children? I feel like sending all of Canada's forest rangers out on him with tranquilizer guns. After he was put down, I'd shave his head and draw interesting things on him with a permanent marker. It would be great since he's so big, I'd have a lot of space to work with.
I'm thinking an arrow on his back pointing down to his ass that says "Insert Cena Here."
I think I'm going to dress up like Khali for Halloween next year. That will scare all the little kiddies away from my house. But Khali just might not be "Rated-R" enough for me to impersonate. It is a privilege for you to be imitated by me, you hear that, Tripsy?
What the fuck is up with his ring gear? Those pants are ridiculously baggy. Is he trying to be like the genie from Aladdin? That genie sucked, and so does Khali.
Tell me again, how did he get a movie role? I wouldn't have even paid a penny to see that film. Adam Sandler, you officially suck for this. Wouldn't the world rather see a movie starring the Rated-R Superstar? I've made a few movies in my time, but they were all rated somewhere towards the very end of the alphabet, if you know what I'm saying.
I'm going to finish this off with a line put so that even Khali can understand.
Khali! Yoahfajnccriuhfs nnaurcnaca UUUUMMMMAAAAAGAAAA akdbaf JOHHHNNNNN CENNNAAA akujaerhfalfk RANNDYYY ORTONNNNN!
In English, Khali wants Umaga, John Cena, and Randy Orton in bed.
A/N: Chapter 8: Shannon Moore. I like Shannon, though…
