A/N: The Miz…I don't like him so much, but I don't really hate him. I think you guys probably hate him more than I do.

Here's another case of a stupid person who had a bit of fame doing something useless who thinks they can make it in the WWE. I don't feel like saying his full name all the time, so I'll refer to him as the Miz. The Real World is the worst thing ever to be on television before Laguna Beach. I don't see how someone, especially the Miz, can garner fame from such a waste of television. He's an ugly fucker who has no talent whatsoever. He didn't even win Tough Enough, so he shouldn't even be here. He came in second, so he should still be fagging up MTV, but I'm not sure if MTV could get any gayer. Well, the Miz's homoerotic behavior fits right in with the retards of ECW, even though Miz is pretty much the most retarded of them all.

Have you taken a look at the Miz's wardrobe? What kind of self-respecting man dresses like that? He looks like a drag queen who got dressed in John Morrison's closet with all the lights off. The Miz is not a gangster, so I do not understand where he gets off wearing do rags (or however the fuck you spell that) and bandanas under fag hats. Fedoras went out about sixty years ago, shitbag. I hate how he acts all "rock and roll" with those terrible pants with the straps on the back, but he's the most puss kid ever. No one likes him. Girls only fuck him because he's famous. That way, if they get pregnant, they get his money. Heaven forbid that, though. I hate the thought of Mizettes running around. One Miz is bad enough. We don't need his sluts going nuts, too. OH HELL NO! I just thought about him having kids. Stupid people should not be allowed to reproduce, and he is one stupid son of a bitch. Those kids are going to be so retarded that their first word is going to be "hoo-rah."

I will only "hoo-rah" after I take Miz out for good. That will be a cause for celebration. After I take the Miz out and go back to Canada, I will be greeted with a beautiful, joyous party. Statues of myself will be erected all over my glorious homeland. I will be named as a saint for all Canadians. I will be showered with glorious gifts for achieving what everyone wishes they could do, and that's get rid of Miz.

What kind of nickname is Miz anyway? That's the worst play off of a name I've ever heard. There's no originality in it, and the name basically sucks. Didn't he say that Miz is the name of his alter ego? I guess that would mean that Mike Mizanin's alter ego is a flaming goose humper, but Mike Mizanin is a flaming goose humper. And the idea of an alter ego is ridiculous. Be who you are, damnit. It's alter egos that make you end up in the insane asylum.

Right after this, I'm going to call an insane asylum to have the dudes in white jackets come pick up the Miz. That way I don't have to see him running around backstage like a chicken with it's head cut off.

Why would he want to own the contract of Extreme Expose? They are fucking ugly ass chicks, and now there's only two of them. Brooke got released because no one liked her. And she got in a fight over furry boots with Melina, ridiculously enough. They can't even dance, so it's not like it's enjoyable to watch them. Kelly Kelly is an idiot, and Layla just plain sucks. He acts like their fucking handler or something. Not even I treated Lita like that. Asswipe.

I was the reason that Miz was voted in at Cyber Sunday. I just wanted to see him get his ass kicked the most. I was really disappointed that CM Punk didn't manhandle him as much as I thought he would. I mean, I hate Punk, too, but even John Cena could probably toss Miz around a bit before losing.

I find Miz's quick rise to main event status at ECW amusing. That place is a retard circus, and Miz is the ringleader. No, wait; he's the girl in the frilly outfit that falls off the trapeze. And then I'll throw popcorn at him and join the little five year old Canadian kids as we ridicule his ass out of here.

What's with that little strut he does? I don't get it. Ric Flair's strut is horrible enough, but now we have another useless minion strutting? STOP NOW!

I'm dialing the number to the insane asylum…now.

A/N: In what I know is going to be a landslide, I must ask…

Chapter 12: HBK or CM Punk?

Review. It makes me happy which makes me write better rants for your literary enjoyment.