A/N: Miami theory? Where the hell did I pose to you all a Miami theory in the last chapter?
MVP was my personal favorite chapter so far. I will do Beth Phoenix.
Why do all of these wrestling rejects come from a specific waste of space in the Midwest? Mr. Kennedy, Hornswoggle, and Candice Michelle all come from that polluted cesspool, Wisconsin. Even though they are close to Canada, they still suck. Lake Michigan is disgusting. Wisconsin doesn't even have any good sports teams, and their hockey team sucks. Hell, the Brewers lost to the Cubs. It is pathetic if you lose to the Cubs.
Candice, even if I were a "daddy," you would not make me "go."
That dance she does is horrendous. What sort of man would find that entertaining? I sure as hell don't. Watching Candice do that "Go Daddy" dance is like watching a worm with fake boobs try to squiggle away from you as you try to put a hook in it to go fishing. Let it be noted that I hate touching worms because I think they are revolting, and a worm is only a step up from Candice Michelle.
Milwaukee is the most disgusting city ever. No wonder Candice came from there.
During my current rehabilitation stint, I indeed have been watching RAW on Monday nights. During a recent edition of RAW, I was enjoying some nice milk and cookies when Candice invoked her rematch clause against Beast, I mean Beth, Phoenix. I just happened to take a sip of that milk when Candice fell off of the turnbuckle. The next thing I knew, my television was covered in milk. I laughed so hard that milk came out of my nose. That was almost as funny as watching John Cena try to wrestle.
I must say that I always cover my eyes when Candice gets in the ring. I don't see why she feels the need to flash the audience. That is the mark of either a stripper or a pedophile. There are children in the audience, for crying out loud! And don't even bring up my live sex celebration because there were warnings about that. Besides, my segment was the highest rated stint ever on RAW. You don't hear about Candice's rating being very high.
Has anyone seen the scum that comes out of the Diva Search? Candice is just one of those. She should have taken the hint when she didn't make the finals that she wasn't cut out to be here. Do you know how many people she slept with backstage to get here?
Remember when Victoria crushed her nose? That was awesome. I miss those days of seeing Candice with a broken nose. Those bruises made her look better.
Thank god I'll be back before Candice. Then I can have some discounted whore days, meaning fewer skanks will be around.
A/N: I love Candice. I am from Milwaukee.
I updated the profile again.
Next: CM Punk
