A/N: An update so soon? *legasp* It's a Christmas miracle!

Xion's POV.

"Aqua, please, please don't—" My voice wavers; I'm trying, trying to keep it steady and I'm so helpless, can't even stay calm and if Axel saw me like this—"Please, I'll – just give me m-more time, I'll be o-okay…"

I hiccup a little, blowing my nose on some toilet paper. This is stupid, why am I still in here, I'm a Knight, even Vani would be stronger than this…

"Xion."

My eyelids fly open. The green stall door blocks my line of sight – thank goodness – but I'd know that voice anywhere, even as soft as it is now.

"Get out!" I scream without thinking. "This is the girls' bathroom, what are you even-!?"

"Hey, hey! Xion, please! I just had to see if you were okay…"

He heard me like this. He heard me already and if he sees me I think I'll melt not into a puddle of rainbows, just a puddle of tears and nothing.

"Well, I'm not," I call as evenly as I can. "So go away."

It's stupid for me to be mad at him, but I am anyway. He's here, within shouting range. Saïx is too far away to shove my anger at.

"Xion…"

Why does he sound so sad? He's not the one who freaked out and ran away crying to a bathroom, who's brother hates me for liking his best friend, and Axel's too good of a friend to hurt Saïx for me, and I don't want him to be hurt I just want everyone to be happy. This is the exact opposite of happy and maybe I never should've tried –

I remember what it felt like to hold his hand. My heart jumps and the sudden emotional shift threatens to make me throw up. Good thing I'm already sitting on a toilet.

"Hey," Axel says hesitantly, probably expecting to get yelled at again. "I think you might want these."

I wipe my eyes in time to see my black boots slide under the stall door. My socks are already wet from stepping in a puddle by the sinks… I pull them off, stuff them in my jacket pocket, and zip the boots up over my cold, bare feet.

"Thank you," I say quietly, sniffling. If I can just pull myself together…

"It's the least I can do," he replies, "after blowing up at your brother and scaring you away."

"It's not your fault!" I call out. "I mean, you did blow up at him, and I was scared…"

"Xion, that's the definition of my fault."

"No!" I explained that wrong. Why are words so hard? "I was scared b-because…" Ugh, that awful stutter. "I d-didn't want you to hate me. You or Saïx."

He's silent. I wish the stall was one-way glass so I could see him but he couldn't see me. What's he thinking?

"Let me get this straight," he finally says. "You think something as stupid as Saïx crashing our date would make me hate you?"

"I- I-!" I don't know what I think. "I panicked, okay! Clearly I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready to date anyone, much less—" I bite my lip and take a deep breath. I hid in here so I wouldn't make a fool of myself, and there I go anyway, and Axel's going to think I don't like him, and I do, so much I don't know what to do with myself.

"…Someone as clueless as me?" Axel finishes my sentence.

"What? No! Someone who has a clue! You always know what you're doing, and I—Axel, I hardly know how to talk to you, much less date you!"

"We're best friends, Xi, you talk to me all the time!"

"But not like on a date!"

"What are you talking about? It's the same thing! I'm still the same Axel, and you're the same Xion. So what changed, huh?" I think I hear him swallow. "What changed…?"

I think about his question for a while, instead of jumping to some excuse like I've been doing. "…I don't know," I reply honestly.

His voice is soft. Kind. "Well, why don't you come out here, and we can figure it out."

I feel like a little kid who's been in time-out for too long. I want to come out, but I don't want to show my shameful face, but either way I can't do anything here…

"Please," he adds.

I rip off a strip of toilet paper and dry my face. It still feels too sticky with salt, but I'll live with it. I unlock the stall door and shove it open quickly, before I can panic and change my mind.

"Ow! Aghh…" The door bounces off the side of his face.

"Sorry! Ouch, I hit you pretty hard…"

His wince melts into a laugh. "Heh, that's what I get for standing so close to the door…"

I can't help echoing his laugh, and we're just friends again, and it's not complicated or weird, and I can breathe. Sadistic as it sounds, I feel more on his level when he does silly stuff like get hit by stall doors. Reminds me he's not as perfect as I sometimes think he is. "I think your nose is swelling."

"Yeah… hey, are your hands cold?"

"Kind of?" I raise my eyebrows. He takes my hand and places it over his nose.

"I knew your ice cube hands would come in handy." He grins, making me laugh.

"Guess it's hard always being hot," I reply.

"Sometimes." He winks.

"I- I meant heat hot."

"Suuuuure~"

"Really!" I stick my tongue out when he laughs. "You might want to get my hand off your face. I've been touching things in a bathroom."

He shrugs, letting go of my hand. "Still gotta be better than the guys' bathroom. You should see the graffiti in there… well, actually you shouldn't."

"You'd be surprised at some of the graffiti in here too." There was plenty in the stall I'd been sitting in that I'd rather forget about.

"I'll take your word for it."

I examine my face in the mirror while I'm washing my hands. My cheeks are too red; I'd like to splash water on my face and wash it, but I'd mess up my already-disheveled hair. "Anyway, I don't want to give you some disease right before Christmas."

"Eh. Guess not." He hops up on the counter, swinging his long legs back and forth. While I try to dry my hands under the air dryer, I glance in the mirror at the back of his smashed crimson hair spikes. They bob mesmerizingly with the swing of his legs, up and down, up and down. Not wanting to be caught staring, I give up on the asthmatic air dryer and wipe my still-damp hands on my jeans.

"I… guess we should go now…"

"Yeah, I'd rather not stay in a girls' bathroom." Axel rubs the back of his head, further flattening his spikes. "But we haven't figured out what our problem is yet."

"…No, I guess we haven't." I have to hop a little higher, but I sit on the counter next to him, awkwardness creeping back in.

He takes a deep breath, meeting my eyes. "I'm not good at this – I mean, with other girls it was easier, I wasn't all – like this… Gah, I'm an idiot." He shakes his head. "Now I'm the one who can't talk."

"…What made it easier with… other girls?" I shiver slightly. He can't mean… he likes me the least of all the girls he's dated, can he?

"I didn't really care what they thought, I guess." He frowns. "I thought I did, and I always tried to impress them, but it wasn't really… it was like a game." He grimaces, looking disgusted. At himself? "I played for fun, and I never thought about how I might hurt myself, or them, or… you," he whispers.

I don't know what to say. It did hurt me – seeing him go on dates all the time, especially with Larxene. Watching him grow up so much faster than me even though we're just a year apart.

He can see it on my face. "I wish I would've listened to Saïx about that. He's not always stupid." He smiles a little.

"He can be pretty smart when he wants to," I admit, softly smiling back, and he chuckles.

"Yeah… Makes me wish I would've been nicer on him earlier. He's seen me through plenty of stupid choices."

"…I guess he has." I remember all the times he's kept me doing stupid things, like murdering Vanitas, or arguing with Father over something pointless, or going to school with my clothes on backwards. I guess I can forgive him of one stupid day.

"Anyway, Xi…" He takes a deep breath. Sweat glistens on his palms. I'm statue-still, not wanting to miss a thing. "Err… You know what? Words are dumb. I'll make this short and sweet." He places his warm hand over mine, and I don't care about the sweat. "Xion, I like you."

"Wh-what?" My heart, lungs, and other internal organs temporarily go on strike. Did he just say that? Really-?

"I like you," he repeats, with a little less confidence. "Did I mumble or something?"

"But – why?" It's finally what I always wanted; I wished, wished for so long, I never really thought about what I'd do if it came true.

"Why?" He asks back, growing more confused by the second. "Because – because I do! Do you want a list? I can make one, gimme a second."

He pumps a long stream of paper towels from the dispenser and rips them off, searching for something to write with. "Gah, of course I never keep a pen…"

"Axel, sorry, that's not what I meant…" It makes me laugh though, and grin so wide my smile might fall off my face. "I just always hoped, but I never thought you'd really – I like you too, Axel."

The words finally tumble out. I could be floating, like those words were a lead backpack I've been carrying around as long as I remember, and now I can throw it off. No more pretending and hiding, I could be a literal rainbow-puddle and I wouldn't even care.

Axel fist-pumps the air and laughs, sounding as elated as I feel. "I didn't screw everything up!"

"Nope." I grin, happiness overflowing in the form of a light jab. "I didn't base my affection on your ice-skating skills."

"Hey!" He pushes me playfully.

"I'm just teasing, Axel," I say, and he turns the shove into a light half-hug. I like that. "You don't have to be the best at everything for me to like you. I like you because you're funny, and sweet, and my best friend." Among probably a hundred other reasons that flit through my head too fast to say. Like that adorable crook in his raised eyebrow right now.

"I'm sweet? Do you know who you're talking to?"

"You are, to me," I reply. "You went on this date with me even though you didn't have a clue how to ice skate."

"…I'll choose to be flattered instead of insulted," he replies after a moment. I giggle and lean into him. I can do that now, without it being weird, without having to pretend like it's just a friendly thing. Without worrying what he thinks. The new freedom is still making my head spin.

"Good."

He smoothes out the long paper towel on his lap. "Now if you want my answer, it might take a while. And a pen."

I do, more than anything, but I remember something. "Are they still waiting on us out there?"

"Oh… heh, I think I used up more than five minutes…" He hops off the counter and holds out his hand. I don't need any help to get down, but there's no point in passing up the opportunity.

"One more thing…" he says before I make it to the door.

"Yeah?" His tone holds a note of worry that I reflect.

"How long have you liked me?"

My brow furrows. "Since…" It feels like forever, and that's what I'd normally say, but I'd be lying if I didn't tell him the actual date. Because after all this time, I still can't forget. "The beginning of summer party, at the Fountains. I was eleven."

"Eleven… I think I remember that. When I took you on the waterslides you were too small to do by yourself?"

"Yeah." Though that was kind of embarrassing, it ended up being a good memory. Like tonight will be. "It was the first time I ever hung out with just you and not Roxas."

He chuckles. "I can't believe it, that long… thank you," he squeezes my hand gently, "for waiting for me."

His eyes sparkle like Christmas lights. I reach up and touch his face, the flipped-tear tattoo below his right eye. "I would do it all over again to hear you say that."

"I just… wish I'd done the same for you," he whispers, cupping my face in return. His fingers are gentler than I expect. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't know." It's much easier to say that now that I know he likes me. It doesn't erase all the jealousy, but at the same time, my jealousy can't erase anything that happened. "And even if you did, you didn't owe me anything just because I liked you. And besides that, you learned what you needed to learn." That's what Aqua tells me when I get upset about making dumb mistakes – You learned what you needed to learn.

"Why didn't I see it, though? You were right in front of me this whole time." His hand falls from my face. "It wasn't until… the night you came to help me. After Larxene."

"Oh." I remember that night clearly. It was so, so cold, the long walk there. Probably the most rash, impulsive idea I've ever had – but worth it. Even if it hadn't changed anything, I still would've done it, as his friend.

"I can never thank you enough for that," he continues.

"Yes you can." I smile, squeezing his hand. "You already have."

"Heh." He smiles back. "You really are the best, y'know."

"I guess I can take your word for it," I tease. "And you are too. The best."

He looks uncertain for a moment, shifting side to side on his feet.

"What?"

Shaking his head quickly, he replies, "Just thinking. Come on, they're waiting for us."

"…Okay." Maybe I'll get it out of him later. It's enough to hold his hand while we finally exit the bathroom, so much lighter than when I entered.

"Uh—" Axel stops halfway out the door. The doorway's wide enough and he's skinny enough, I can still see past him. …I kind of wish I hadn't.

"O-kay, did not need to see that."

I duck behind him to avoid watching Aqua make out with Terra. "Is that why Saïx didn't want me to go out with you? Because I don't blame him as much anymore."

Axel let the door bang shut, retreating back into the bathroom. "I don't think I'd let him off the hook because of that, but I'm still glad I've been my practicing self-control."

Self-control not to kiss me? Is that what he meant? …I'm not the only one who needs that?

My face flushes hotly, no matter how I wish it wouldn't. "I'm sure it's better than it looks…" I hope he won't think I don't want to kiss him, because I do. It's just really weird seeing Aqua kiss anyone, even though I know she has before… I don't know. It's a little sister thing. "…But I appreciate the self-control. If you really need it for that."

"I promised you, Saïx, and your dad that I would respect you," he smiles, "and I'm not about to break a promise. Even if I really, really want to kiss you." He blinks. Apparently I'm not the only one who can blush. "Dang it, I was saving that."

"…No one ever said you can't kiss me," I reply, heart beating so fast I think it's going to give me hiccups. "Just maybe not like that…" Because I might literally explode from happiness and die.

The door creaks open before Axel can respond, revealing an unfazed Aqua. "Are you two done?"

"Are you two done?" I can't help teasing – also a little sister thing. It's in the genes.

She doesn't blush quite like me, but as her eyes narrow, her face does tinge pink. It's Terra who sticks his head in to grin and say, "Hey, the PDA kept everyone away from the bathrooms. You're welcome."

"I can see you're feeling better, then," Aqua says to me. "The others are at the food court."

"Saïx too?" Axel asks, and she nods.

"Even Jasmine, I believe. Saïx wanted to try and sort things out with her."

That is still so weird. Definitely weirder than watching Aqua kiss Terra. I mean, I knew Jasmine liked Saïx for some crazy reason, but I'd never expected anything to come out of it. Even if 'something' was just an excuse-date.

Axel rubs his hands together. "Can't wait to see how that turned out."

"Did you ever find Vanitas again?" I ask.

"Saïx retrieved him from Whitney." Whitney… she's one of Aqua's coworkers. The one who gave us our skates, I think.

"But is he watching him?" If he's with Jasmine, who knows where Vani could've slipped off to?

"We will see. Come on."

The four of us herd away from the bathrooms. Aqua and Terra take the lead, and I notice he takes her hand. Aww. While I'm watching them, Axel takes my hand too and leans down to whisper, "I'll give you a raincheck on that kiss."

My boots float at least an inch from the ground. "I'll take you up on that."

A/N: PDA = Public Display of Affection. Not sure how common that acronym is.

Woo, only one more chapter and an epilogue to go! :D