A/N: At this time, it is 2:30 AM, and Survivor Series is approximately 16.5 hours away. Ugh. I hate waiting for PPVs. And it's worse since I get to BW3s like two hours ahead of time and the time there passes so slow.

I find Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch to be quite amusing. I don't care how much this has been said, but they so remind me of those Brokeback Mountain cowboys. Did you know that Cade and Murdoch wanted their entrance theme to be Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy? The creative team nixed that right away because they thought that it would send the wrong message about their Superstars. Duh. That was what Cade and Murdoch were going for. They're okay with admitting their sexuality, so why aren't they allowed to flaunt it? I mean, sure it would be disgusting as all fuck, but not even that can be much worse than allowing John Cena to parade around.

Did you know that Cade and Murdoch's idols are Billy and Chuck? Makes sense, I suppose.

You know what really irks me about Trevor Murdoch? He looks like the front man of Fall Out Boy, aka the worst band to ever exist. They look like twins, it is so uncanny. They even have the ridiculously bushy sideburns. I don't think that's natural. It's wrong. I'm done insulting the lead singer of the Fag Loving Boys, but I'm not done with Murdoch. It literally looks like he has Triple H's pubic hair glued to the side of his face. Okay, I think I just grossed myself out there a bit. (Edge takes in a deep breath). No, I think that John Cena might be just a bit more disgusting than Triple H's pubic hair, just a bit.

Lance Cade went pretty boy on us all. Revolting. He went from rugged to a fag in a matter of a week. What the hell? He got a haircut and now he thinks he's better than everyone else? Guess what, Lance? Your hair still sucks, you little Randy Orton rip off. Seriously, he looks just like Orton with that unoriginal hairstyle.

Maybe Cade is trying to break away from Murdoch. Hell, I don't blame him. I wouldn't want something that ugly following me around, either. Well, Matt Hardy was stalking me for a long time after the Lita incident…Anyways, I don't understand Cade. At first, he was a man butt loving cowboy, and now he's a metro sexual something or other that I don't have the words to describe. I would say fag, but I think I've said that enough times already. I'm getting tired of that "f" word. I prefer "fuck," on different levels. Cade looks so out of place. He has made the big mistake of trying to break away from the mold. It's like that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish. He tried not to be Hootie anymore, but he will always be Hootie. I think I'm going to call Cade "Hootie" from now on. It's just fun to say. Hootie Cade. Hootie Cade. Hootie fucking Cade. That reeks of awesomeness. It is making me giggle like a little school girl, and that has never happened before. HOOTIE CADE!

Hootie Cade and Hardcore Holly would make the ultimate gay duo. Actually, don't they kind of look like the Ambiguously Gay Duo from Saturday Night Live? Strange…

Since I have a new name for Cade, I will now be referring to Murdoch as Patrick Murdoch, in reference to the lead singer of Fall Out Boy. Yes, I do mean it in a worse way than it sounds. If I looked like that guy, I think I'd kill myself. Well, I'd compare myself to John Cena and thank the Canadian wrestling god that no one is uglier than Cena.

I've just learned that Cade and Murdoch's finisher is called "Sweet and Sour." Who the fuck names a wrestling maneuver after a flavoring sauce? Out of all the ridiculous names out there, that's the best they could come up with? I mean, there are some pretty bad names out there. John Cena: F-U. Randy Orton: RKO (He used his fucking initials?!). Mickie James: Mick Kick. Hornswoggle: Tadpole Splash. Maria: …Does she even have a finisher? Oh yeah, the weak ass bulldog. Back to the subject, out of all the horrendous names out there, I think Cade and Murdoch's comes in second to John Cena's. I think that's what Cena calls it because he wants to fuck whoever he's doing that to, minus the girls. Is there a reason that Hootie and Patrick named their finisher after a condiment? I hope not. Maybe it's just an ode to their terrible redneck-ness. I hope not, because being a redneck is certainly not something to be excited about. Being Canadian is something to be proud of, however.

Redneck Wrecking Crew? Are they insinuating that they have cannon balls down there? Dear lord, no. I'm pretty sure they stuff themselves, and they aren't appearing to do a very good job of it.

Bye, Hootie and Patrick. I'll see you at Survivor Series, and I'll be laughing at you when you lose your belts to the other half of the gay duo and the twelve year old bitch.