A/N: Okay, I'll do Jericho.
I would just like you all to know that at the time of this being written, I have 222 reviews. It's a sign.
Chris Jericho needs to crawl back into the hole that he just came out of. He's been gone for TWO YEARS and he decides that now is an appropriate time to come back. Excuse me, but now is not the proper time to come back. There can only be one comeback at a time, asshole. This week was my return, and we all know that I am much more epic than Chris Jericho.
Let's compare these lovely comebacks, shall we?
Topic one: The enemy
Jericho: I'm letting ladies go first, here. Okay, let's seeā¦he came back to yell at Randy Orton, another jackass. Even though Randy is the current WWE Champion, he is a horrible person to attack when making a comeback. He's weak.
Edge: Oh, how I love glorifying myself. I came back to get at Batista and Undertaker. Both of them are bigger stars than Randy Orton, even though they all equally suck and are equally weak. I think a bigger statement is made by doing a con-chair-to on Undertaker than by yelling some big words and lame insults at Randy Orton.
Topic two: The entrance
Jericho: He had that annoying video played after everyone's seen it for like nine years. Boring. Jericho, you certainly do not know how to make an impact. Besides, everyone knew he was coming back. Damn internet leaks. Sure, they put me on the promotional poster for Survivor Series, but that's because I just simply rock.
Edge: I hid out as a camera man and pulled a sneak attack. I think that was the greatest use of a foreign object ever. Did you see that camera smash? Smashing things makes me happy. I love it. No one saw it coming. I bet they all expected me to take out Cody Rhodes in the tag match because I like picking on weaker beings. Damn straight, I do. But I won't waste my time on that little rat. I'll let Holly take care of that one. Oh wait, Holly got his ass RKO'd last night, and then Randy went on talking like nothing had happened. That's good entertainment, even though they both suck.
Topic three: The action
Jericho: What action? All he did was yell some terrible insults at Randy. "Child bearing hips?" What, are you checking Randy out there, Jericho? I bet you'd like to get your hands on those, wouldn't you? That's disgusting. Any numbskull can grab a microphone and say a couple of lame words to get a cheap reaction out of the crowd. Hell, Santino Marella does it every week, and that's all that John Cena is famous for.
Edge: At least I know how to pull of some quality action. Ha, that sounded wrong, but if I say it, it's right. I don't need to use lame insults to make the crowd make some noise. All I have to do is attack their "heroes," and that is something that I enjoy. It makes me happy and pisses them off, which makes me even happier. God, I am awesome.
Topic four: The response
Jericho: Cheap cheers that no one cares about. Next.
Edge: Boos that will live on forever. I love it.
Survey says? Clearly, I, the one and only Edge, have swept the board here on this one. I love beating out losers.
The funniest thing about Jericho is that he was fired because he lost to none other than John Cena. HA! You deserve to be fired if you lose to that fuckbag.
I hate how Jericho thinks he's a fucking rock star. I bet he thinks that he "parties like a rock star" like that obnoxious rap song. This is how Jericho parties: He takes his kids out to Chuck E. Cheese's. That is not a party. I think that is the rap song's idea of partying like a rock star. They don't even know what that means. They are not rock stars. Jericho is not a rock star. Being in a band does not make you a rock star. Being Edge makes you a rock star.
And playing Guitar Hero doesn't mean you're musically inclined, dumb kids.
Jericho's hair makes me giggle. In the Holiday edition of WWE Magazine, they show Jericho's hair timeline. Are you kidding me? Who wears a ponytail on the top of their head like that? I don't think I've ever even seen a woman do that! I think Jericho is trying to revolutionize the art of the he-she.
Now his hair looks like a really short mullet. No joke.
My last words to Jericho are this: Was this some poor attempt at stealing my thunder? No one beats me in the end, Jericho. You're little return will all be forgotten. You will be taken off of once I get my title back. I will be on there once again.
Oh, one last insult. I'm going to steal Jericho's word once again and call him an ass clown.
A/N: I have no idea who to do for the next chapter. Give me suggestions in reviews.
