A/N: A question came to mind that I have never answered before: Why Edge? In my mind, there are only two really good heels in the WWE today: Edge and Randy Orton. Randy Orton is the ultimate bad guy. He's gorgeous, smooth…ah I'm going to stop now. But Edge has all that and more! He has way more charisma than Randy. Orton usually just ends up as the butt of the joke, you know? People just hate Randy, but people love to hate Edge. It's a no-brainer. Besides, can you really imagine Randy doing all this? I can't.

I think, no, I know that Paul London and Brian Kendrick are butt buddies. They spend way too much time together. No one should have a tag team partner for that long. That's the reason they've led me to believe that they are attached at the ass. They even grope each other in their ring entrance after they jump around like little sissies. Thanks for throwing me the ammunition, boys.

Who runs to the ring? I bet they just can't wait to get their asses kicked. I mean, I can understand if it's the Royal Rumble because you can't wait to get in there and start tossing people out of the ring. But why would you run to the ring in any other scenario? Half of the time, they're the first ones in the ring! What's the point if you're not charging down there to kick ass? I get it. They're so ugly that if they don't run down to the safety of the ring, the local zoo keeper will mistake Paul London for a gorilla and Brian Kendrick for a chimpanzee.

Did you know that Brian Kendrick's nickname is "Spanky?" Do you know why? It's because he has to wank off all the time since he can't get any and Paul London doesn't feel like it anymore. That's a horrible nickname. Oh, and his finisher is called "Sliced Bread Number Two." Why? I mean, I can understand if Hornswoggle is under the ring slicing bread and then Kendrick throws it at him but other than that, it makes no sense. Unless they're selling bread with numbers like pencils now…You American's are stupid.

Paul London has horrible facial hair. He looks like fucking Paul Bunyan. That's what he should change his name to. Then we can chance Kendrick's name to "Babe," even though he is certainly not one. Well, he does kind of look like an ugly fetus.

Weren't Paul London and Brian Kendrick in that match when Joey Mercury got his face busted open? See, I barely remembered them. That's because they have no impact in the ring. They look like a bunch of toddlers wielding weapons. No one is afraid of a toddler holding a steel chair. They don't know what to do with it. Hell, they can't even pick it up. Ever wonder why London and Kendrick don't use weapons? It's because they're too heavy. Wait, London and Kendrick won that match? How? Oh, it's because they had three other teams doing the dirty work for them. Lazy bitches.

I was watching RAW last week, and I was taken back when I saw them come out to the ring. Their ring attire sucks! It looks like a Mardi Gras clown threw up all over them. Either that or a Technicolor Easter bunny came and threw eggs at them for sucking so much. Good bunny. Doesn't help my eyes, any, though.

Because of London and Kendrick, I am now half considering dragging Christian's ass back from the polluted cesspool that is TNA so we can recreate our old E&C days. Be afraid, ass munchers, be very afraid.

A/N: For the record, I love London and Kendrick.

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