A/N: Today was the best day of my life. For more info, see the profile.
Spiffy, I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like it was hilarious that I had that done and that's what you wanted.
Oh, and did I mention that today freakin' rocked? It's almost like Brit's story is coming true…Finally, something good happened at Game Stop.
Bobby Lashley makes me want to puke. I was so glad that he and I were injured around the same time. That way, when I watched WWE on television at my lovely home in the even lovelier Canada, I didn't have to see him. It was refreshing. Unfortunately, I was still not so graced with John Cena's presence, but once again, that is another story for another time. But I'm glad that fucker is gone, too.
Lashley is lucky that he got drafted to RAW from ECW. With that talent exchange between ECW and SmackDown, it was only a matter of time before I speared Lashley's ass into JBL's lap. I bet they both would like that.
Lashley stole my finisher, the unoriginal jerk. Why can't he just stick with that whole Dominator bullshit? The spear is MINE! My spear is definitely better than Lashley's.
I think that Lashley pumps the 'roids in one area, and one area only. That is his shoulders. Have you see his shoulder muscles by his neck? That's revolting. It's like he got implants or something.
Lashley looks like Wayne Brady. I think I would kill myself. Looking like that guy is punishment enough. It sucks for Lashley that there's so much more wrong with him.
I did my research only to find that Bobby Lashley's real first name is Franklin. FRANKLIN! It's like that turtle show on that kid channel. That's great! Sucks for Franklin, though. I think I'm going to have to start referring to him in person as Franklin. I bet he'd try to get back at me. Too fucking bad. I'd kill that guy. Bobby may have muscles, but I've got smarts and muscles.
If you suck at wrestling, you could at least have decent microphone skills. Franklin the turtle can neither wrestle, nor can he speak. Whenever he speaks, it sounds like fucking Billy Madison himself is out in the ring having a party. At least Billy Madison was kind of a funny movie. Okay, Bobby Lashley sounds more like a retard on steroids that gets nervous around John Cena. As much as I hate both Franklin and ol' Johnny boy, their little "verbal debate" was hilarious. It was funny to see Cena make an ass out of himself when the crowd clearly didn't like him that night. It was even better when they allowed Lashley to be in possession of a microphone. I think that should be illegal. You know how people get arrested for possession of drugs and weapons? I think I should have dressed up like a police officer and arrested Lashley for possession of a weapon. I know what you fuckbags are thinking: A microphone isn't a weapon. Um, yes, it is. It is if it's making my fucking ears bleed.
Bobby Lashley is bald, bald I tell you! That sucks. Maybe I should volunteer him for one of those Bosley commercials. That would be hilarious to hear him talk about it. It would be like:
Bobby: I, um…loved this…what was it? Oh yeah, "Boshie" hair replenishing system or something…
I love myself sometimes. No, make that all the time.
This is why Bobby Lashley had to go to ECW: Everyone sucked on Bobby Lashley, just like him. He was afraid of John Cena, so he didn't want to go on RAW. I was on RAW at the time, as well, so he didn't want any piece of me. Damn straight. I believe he was on SmackDown prior to ECW. He was on SmackDown prior to ECW. He must have heard that I was coming. That meant the only "safe" place was ECW. I would rather die than go to ECW. It's horrible. I am not a retard.
I think it was Lashley that turned ECW into a retard circus.
I am sick of hearing how "athletic" Bobby Lashley is. I do not care if he has a four foot vertical leap. I do not care if he can just simply jump up the four feet onto the ring with no momentum. I'll tell you that when I'm lying down and I'm happy, I have a four foot vertical something else. My four foot vertical kills Franklin's.
I think I'm going to buy a snapping turtle, name it Franklin, and then set him loose on Lashley for stealing his name.
A/N: I forgot to mention that I hate Bobby Lashley. My brother likes him for some reason that I do not understand.
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