She taught Balem everything she knew, everything her mother taught her.
It often worried her how close they were. Physically, mentally, emotionally. He was an invaluable companion, and he drank in her instruction like a man dying of thirst, but his intensity sometimes frightened her and so she consciously sought company elsewhere. She attended the social occasions and weddings she always had and caught the eye of the men and women she always had.
She knew Balem didn't like it. She tried to encourage him in his own affairs, making it clear that it need not mean a cessation of their own intimacies, but he was steadfast and loyal, traits she had ironically found sadly lacking in his father.
Falling in love again had been a surprise, falling out of it far less so. From this loss she gained two more children, Kalique, the daughter she had unknowingly longed for, and Titus, the most beautiful of her children and the most scheming. She loved them all, all three of them, her best and her brightest Balem; her clever confidante Kalique, adept at playing the long game and big picture thinking; and Titus, the youngest and the pet, always there to win her over with a bit of flattery or a witticism to make her smile.
Balem could never see it that way. He made it clear he felt her attentions and love were as divided by his siblings as it had been by her lover. They fought more often now. He had begun to speak of the properties he managed for her as 'his', glancing sidelong at her petulantly as if daring her to correct him and half hoping she would. He had so perfectly taken in her teachings, and she had been delighted, but she had a feeling he wouldn't rest until he knew for certain that he was top of her pyramid.
She was growing tired of playing these games with her beloved son.
"Are you…" he began, swallowing, his voice cracking just a little, "…intimate with Titus, as we are intimate?"
Seraphi calmly looked up from her reading. "Balem…" she said warningly, but he wouldn't be checked.
"Are you?" he asked again.
She gazed at him levelly. "I don't speak to Titus of what passes between us, my darling, you cannot ask me to ruin his privacy as I would never ruin yours."
"I see." A tear ran down his cheek. "I understand now how it is." His throat felt tight and bitterness was welling in the back of his mouth. He could hear himself losing control. Seraphi was now looking at him warily, carefully placing her sheave down in case things were about to take a physical turn. He felt sick thinking about it, thinking about their fights of the past and their aftermath.
The bitterness was choking him. He took a step towards her and rifled feverishly through the sheaves laid out on her desk. He found the one he was looking for and held it out to her; the will.
"This still matters, doesn't it mother?" he whispered. "This is proof! I'm to have your favourite property, your best planet." He fell to his knees. "Please mother. Please tell me I'm your favourite, like you used to."
She took his hands in hers and held his delicate white wrists in a gentle grip. "Balem, darling, you are to have my best planet. My regard for you hasn't changed. You are my best and most useful boy, and I love you."
Balem stared up at her unblinking, watching her, wanting to believe. His breathing came more calmly. Seraphi reached over and wiped away his tears, before leaning in to kiss him.
