A/N: Yes, today is that fateful day of promise. I promised you seven updates, and you'll get them. This being my most popular story, I shall address some issues once again.
Updated profile.
Teddy Long needs to go and get his ass back into that coma he crawled out of. What business does he have to come back so soon? Sure, even though I don't like Vickie, I at least enjoyed what she had done for me. Who wouldn't? Teddy Long hates me! I am ashamed to admit this, but I honestly believe that Teddy Long is one of the few straight men in the back. He doesn't love Edge, therefore, he must not be gay. Not that I'm complaining, or anything. I just find it strange.We don't need a General Manager on SmackDown! I can just run the show on my own. It would be much better. Instead of SmackDown, I think I'd just run my "Edge: The Great One" show. It would garner much higher ratings than SmackDown does because the show would be all about me! I'd stick Batista in a cage, and in order to convince him to do it, I'd "pay him handsomely." Yeah, I'd pay him…with a faulty check.
I think that Lashley and Teddy just might be related. They both look like turtles! Lashley is named after a fucking turtle…and Teddy just looks like an old sea turtle that's about to croak. It looks even more like that because Teddy wears those oversized suits. I think he's trying to be like Viscera. Viscera NO!
Who would marry Kristal? Clearly, she was a two bit, money grubbing skank bag with anorexia. That's sick. I am so glad I missed that wedding. I wouldn't even have showed. I'd have to hear Jillian sing, which is never good, and see a bunch of "hoes." I'd just take the hoes with me and leave all the men to play with themselves…or each other. As long as I'm not there…
I have NO respect for people who jack other peoples' shit. Teddy totally ripped off Vickie's tremendous speech from when she gave me a title shot. Who cares about Undertaker? He's going to retire soon. We all know it, and no one cares. Teddy, what are you doing to society? Because of you, the Edgeheads are forced to sit through less camera time for Edge at Armageddon because they stupid camera fucks will be too busy staring at Undertaker. I'd make a better camera man than them. Hell, I was a better camera man than them at Survivor Series. I think that was the best piece of cinematography ever. I deserve an Oscar.
I just thought I should tell you that I was perusing the spoiler archives for SmackDown tapings, and some great person submitted something like this: "And then we see another video package about Edge telling us how great he is." That bitch better have agreed with me. I am fucking awesome. Teddy, are you listening? The people want EDGE, not the Undertaker!
I wish I put Teddy into that coma. Why did he even go in the first place? Maybe it was because Kristal was too damn ugly. Oh, and because she fell down the stairs. I almost forgot about that part…Now I remember, and it's hilarious! I think they edited that out for television, though. For those of you idiots that don't know, when she was walking up the stairs, she tripped on her dress and fell. HA!
Teddy, you better go back to that hospital ASAP or I will put you there myself.
A/N: I'm putting this up now instead of way later after RAW like I had intended.
Update one of seven is DONE for the night.
7.5 hours until RAW at the time of this typing
Review/alert/fav
