A/N: It's been a while.

I've considered deleting this whole story. Really. I hate what has stemmed from it...and it's not pretty. I'm destroying myself with this.

But I won't quit it.

Here's some Vinnie Mac for you all.

Where do I start on Vincent Kennedy McMahon?

I could start on his family.

I could start on his stupid power walk.

I could start on how wrong his assumptions about himself are.

I will speak on all of that.

But I'm going to start on his raisins. Vince McMahon has no fucking right to strut around like he has an enormous wedgie and claim that he has "grapefruits." No, Vince, you are not a tree wielding tropical fruits. Hell, you're from fucking Greenwich, Connecticut. There is nothing tropical about Connecticut. I mean, I have huge balls but you don't see me walking around like a nerd in high school that just got his fucking tightie whities ripped up his asshole. Fuck. No self respecting man runs around talking about how large he is, except me. I can only do that because it's true. Let's look at the other fucks that do that. Balls Mahoney: Yeah, right. DX: ...That's a disgrace. I can't continue on with that list. It is making me want to puke.

I suppose that the power walk would come along with with Vince thinking he has colossal grapefruits like I do. He only does that to make you think he's got some huge ones. It's also a very good workout, and he needs it. It can be tiring flailing your arms around like a dying dolphin being eaten by a shark. But I'll give Vince McMahon his due. At least he has the stamina to be able to do that walk all the way down the ring. Most guys his age wouldn't be able to be active for that long. Look at Ric Flair. A lot of people claim that I have a little strut that I do when going down to the ring. What the fuck? So I cock my head a couple of times. So what? It's just because I know how awesome I am. If I ever walk like that, it's just because I'm sore from all the awesome sex I get. Of course, Vince wouldn't know about awesome sex. He's too busy fucking mythical beasts.

That brings me to my next point: his family. Linda McMahon: She is probably the sweetest of the McMahons, but she is still a horrid bitch. Who befriends Jim Ross? I did say that I enjoyed it when old JR was apologizing for Linda being Stunned, but then she fired his ass. Go Linda! Thank you for doing what we've all been wanting to see. I still hate her, though. She looks like an even more lesbian version of Hilary Clinton. Yeah, I'll talk more about her later. All I have to say is that she must have been on some serious crack to have married Vince McMahon. Stephanie McMahon: She doesn't even deserve Vince's money. She will come later, as well. She needs her own section. Shane McMahon: What money? He didn't earn any of it. Vince didn't really earn any, either. It was all handed to him for sitting there like a little bitch. Yeah, Shane's section will come later. Finally, Hornswoggle: It is the ultimate insult to Vince McMahon to have Hornswoggle as a son. That makes me laugh. Thank you, Hornswoggle, for making my job easier. I have stated many, many times that I love it when people do the dirty work for me. Since Hornswoggle has already stained the legacy of Vince McMahon, that's less work I have to do.

But I'll continue on, anyways.

Vince has the horrible habit of thinking wonderful things about himself. That's conceited, Vince. Shame on you. I love how he assumes that he's great. I could tell him what happens when he assumes, but then that would imply that he's making an ass out of me as well as him. When Vince assumes, he just makes an ass out of himself. People don't chant his name in sold out arenas. The fans chant "EDGE" in sold out arenas, and the arenas are sold out because people paid to see me and chant my name. That's glorious. Everyone hates Vince. They don't even love to hate him. They love to hate me, though. They just wish that Vince would fall off the face of the earth, and I'll be the one to push him. That would be fun. I'd even dress up like an astronaut just for added effect. You know what? I think I'm going to photoshop a picture of me pushing Vince off the face of the earth and leak it onto the internet. I bet that it would be the most downloaded picture on the internet. It would beat all those pornographic websites. Since I'm on it, even though I'd be fully clothed, it's like porn for men and women! Why? Because I'm that damn sexy. Word. And I love how Vince thinks he's oblivious to media attacks. It's just like those WWE rejects, VKM. Well, they were a part of DX, so I suppose I'll have to excuse their idiocy. Vince was totally clueless to the fact that they were making fun of him. Vincent Kennedy McMahon...duh. Even Eugene got that.

Don't get all excited, Edgeheads. That's the closest I'll ever get to bashing those stupid TNA stars.

Vince did not revolutionize the WWE. Hell, I've done more revolutionizing than he ever has. I'll make a list.

One: ladder matches – Duh.

Two: SmackDown – Yeah, people pretty much watch that because of me. Vince rarely even makes an appearance on SmackDown. And he takes over RAW. When Vince is on the television, people wish that it was Friday night so they can watch me pwn Batista some more.

Three: entrance theme – I can honestly say that my entrance theme is the greatest thing ever.

Oh, the list goes on and on, but I don't have all day to sit here and talk about myself. Well, I do, but I also enjoy making fun of Vince. Great, now I'm sounding like a profile from eharmony or something. "Hi, I'm Edge, and I like..." Ew. That's it, after Vince's "list," I'm making him a dating profile.

One: being a homosexual deviant

Two: fucking imaginary creatures

I swear, JK Rowling basically could have put Vince into one of her Harry Potter books. For those of you that don't know, I love Harry Potter. If you don't like it, then you are an idiot, but I knew that already. Vince could be like one of those creatures in the Forbidden Forest or something. He's created many creatures himself, such as Hornswoggle.

Okay, here is Vince's dating profile:

Name: Vincent Kennedy McMahon

Age: Old enough to be Father Time's great-grandfather

Likes: talking about rotten fruit, counting money that I didn't earn, fucking ugly chicks, dudes, and non-humanoids, getting wedgies...

Okay, I can't continue. That shit was ridiculous.

I'm out of breath from ranting about my boss. This just proves how awesome I am. I can sit here and make fun of him, but he knows that I'm such a power player that he can't afford to fire me.

I love myself.

I'm out, Edgeheads. Don't miss me too much.

A/N: Writing this chapter made me smile.

Anyways, a lot of you wanted this chapter, and you got it.

Review.