CBS owns everything. I only own Dr. Walter and nurse Tanya.

Thank you to those of you who put me on the favorite author and story alerts and for those of you who reviewed. I really appreciate it.

I've made it be Kensi's POV so that all characters are at the same place.

Kensi's POV

The last thing Kensi wanted to do was play damsel in distress. As when life got too hard or complicated, work, her co-workers and Hetty kept her sane. Yes, going out most nights she wasn't working a case wasn't the smartest thing to do, but is sure helped her forget for a few hours how empty she really was. She was so grateful Deeks, although thoroughly annoying at times, always had her back. Question his humour yes, question his ability as a LAPD or agent, never.

The last few months since Dom died had finally been eased by Deeks; especially the last few weeks. Deeks thankfully went after any attractive girl, except for her, so she was off the hook. Deeks' teasing was the perfect foil for her. She didn't have to reveal too much to anyone. Deeks just begged for a verbal sparing, while Dom was like a kid brother whom she felt compelled to mentor.

Work was a great distraction. She had to be her best. There was no margin for error. It was great to let out all her aggression on uncooperative suspects who always insisted on trying to flee. Her small frame belied her strength and no-how of subduing a suspect most times. If she couldn't handle a situation completely on her own, her co-workers stepped in.

Since her co-workers never showed any weaknesses, she definitely wasn't about to either. Training and sparing with her co-workers kept her in top-notch physical condition. Serial dating and visiting Camp Pendleton on the weekends between cases gave her an outlet for the emotions she was so desperate to hide from the others. The only time she couldn't hide her emotions from her co-workers was when someone she cared about was seriously hurt or died. Dom had just been added to the long list of people that had died on her. She knew it wasn't rational to blame them, but sometimes she just did. Life sucked sometimes. Her co-workers knew when she was angry by the tears her eyes and her quietness. She wasn't like the typical girl who cried and made a big deal of things.

The last few weeks before Christmas had been miserable for her. Amazingly, the trust she had in Deeks was well-placed. When he had rescued her from those lasers she had been at her last straw. Her trust in him had gone up a notch when he thankfully when he hadn't told anyone how scared she had been. Not that anyone would have blamed her. But that was a girly emotion her marine father never would have allowed her to show.

She would never tell anyone what happened between her and the Russians during the hours she had surrendered to them and the time those in OPS had seen her on line standing in the laser filled room. She had felt off ever since. The fact that her job required her to assume a false identity effortlessly only helped her hide this fact from her co-workers.

Her motto, 'business as usual' worked for her most of the time too. But when Talbot came into her life she couldn't keep quiet anymore. Even though she knew the others were watching her. She was just glad to tell someone who understood, like Talbot. She felt so bad for him. Jack had come back messed up and she hadn't been able to help him. This time she had a chance to help someone who really needed her. Not only could she show her emotions openly, yet guarded, but she could help someone.

Talbot had really confused her though. She didn't like how he brought up so many memories of Jack, but she liked how he allowed her to feel useful. His behaviour and agreement with everything she had to say suggested he had a crush on her. She thought it was sweet. But when Callen had called her to warn her about Talbot she had already started to feel something wasn't quiet right with him.

She didn't expect him to hit her though. She couldn't believe that he turned on her. Killing him was only possible because he was about to kill her. A split second before he had hit her everything came together. His actions after knocking her out just confirmed what she had started to suspect.

When all she wanted to do was lick her wounds and feel sorry for herself Callen put her in her place. Why did she think that she could tell Talbot was lying when the navy, his psychiatrist and the others couldn't tell? But that was Kensi. Deeks saved her from the doldrums when he suggested he come on his date. One never knew what to expect with Deeks and she wasn't disappointed.

The pounding headache didn't go away while she was at the homeless shelter, but she seemed to pretend it wasn't there. Her headache was helped by the fact that she could just be herself. It was great to see Deeks helping others and his humour was really appreciated by the shelter's clients. She should have known Deeks would do something out of the ordinary. Deeks was really someone who cared for people and she was finally able to see that.

Asking him over for her traditional beer and ice-cream had been the next step in their partnership. She really wanted to sleep the headache off but she didn't want to be alone. It was better to suffer a bit than to have to be with her own demons. She hadn't trusted any of her partners to bring them over into the inner sanctum of her abode.

For a few hours she could ignore the pounding in her head, but she wasn't expecting the hangover. She ignored her physical symptoms to have the long chat with Deeks. Being alone on Christmas Eve since her father died was her usual pattern, but breaking it with Deeks was nice. She couldn't believe that they managed to talk to each other without insulting each other for hours. When Deeks decided that he needed to go to bed she was so relieved. She just wanted to sleep and relax for her holidays.

She couldn't believe she was going to be sick. Ice cream and beer tasted so much better going down than coming up. All she had wanted to do was go to bed. Closing the curtains in her bedroom had helped somewhat. The bright lights had really been hurting her eyes. Since the dizziness and pounding headache wouldn't leave her alone she took many trips to the bathroom. Shouldn't throwing up have relieved some of the pressure. Finally Kensi couldn't take it anymore and she had crawled to the kitchen to get a bucket that would be her companion for many days. Thankfully, she didn't throw up on the way to the kitchen, but she did manage to fall asleep a few times.

The first day she had even managed to get a few sips of water, but she had grown too weak for that ultimately. Eventually all she could do was lay their in her bed. She couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom. Fortunately she had managed to avoid throwing up in bed. She couldn't even remember how long she was on her own. Would anyone find her in time?

She felt like she was underwater. The last thing she remembered was hearing someone mention her name. The bright lights hurt her eyes. Why were her curtains open? She didn't really recognize anyone. Shouldn't this headache be gone by now? Nothing made sense.

The next time she woke up, Kensi saw Deeks and Sam looking at her. The headache was better. Her head was itchy though. She had been lying around enough. She needed to get up. She couldn't believe where she was. All she wanted to do was get out of there.

Why did talking hurt? Why did her arms hurt? Nothing made sense.

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