A/N: Once again, Edge is running wild in my head. This is a dangerous thing…

ECW time. For Chic of Extreme.

As you munchkins know, I don't waste my time with ECW. I think it's pathetic, and a place for all of the retards to congregate and perform stupid circus acts for the enjoyment of six year olds with nothing better to do with their time on Tuesday nights. Read a book kids, preferably my book, Adam Copeland on Edge.

I think I'll get at a couple of ECW guys right now. Since they're on ECW, it should be easy for me to pick fun at them.

Balls Mahoney

Yeah, he is definitely overcompensating for something that he doesn't have. If he doesn't have them, he can't compensate for them. That's just bad logic. Well, looking at Balls' hair, he clearly does lack in the logic department.

Maybe a tongue ring would work for a hot chick, but it scares me on Balls Mahoney. I didn't think Kelly Kelly was into that sort of thing. Well, I don't want to know what Kelly Kelly is into because she's disgusting. I do not praise Balls Mahoney for that. That makes him even worse.

Why would you want the fans yelling such obscenities at you when you enter the ring? To make it worse, it's to the beat of his weak ass entrance theme. I don't think he showers. He wears the same thing every week. Ew. They say opposites attract, so I guess I should set him up with Douche-man. Well, Douche-man does like to get peed on, so maybe he is right up Balls' alley.

Boogeyman

No, you aren't coming to get me. If anything, you're the one that's afraid of me.

I'm pretty sure that the Boogeyman likes sucking on a different kind of worm, if you get my drift.

I think they need to bring Little Boogey back. At least he was good for some laughs. Big Boogey just puts me to sleep. He's overdone now. And I don't like talking about him, so I'll move on.

Kevin Thorn

Excuse me? Did you just say Kevin Thorn? Um, yeah. Po-ser. Right when his little skank left, he changed his look! I didn't change a damn bit after Lita left. That's because I am too cool to change. If I changed, the world would weep little sad emo tears.

I'd rather he have stayed a "vampire." Wait, he wasn't even a vampire. He didn't suck any blood. Kevin Thorn was just so antisocial that he pretended to be a creepy ass vampire to scare people so they wouldn't talk to him. That's horrible. If you plan on kicking ass, you need to network with your victims. If you don't have charisma, then you suck. Look at John Cena.

Yeah, Kevin Thorn definitely needs to grow his hair back out. With this short cut, he looks like an even gayer and uglier version of Randy Orton with a beard. That, my Edgeheads, is never a good thing.

Who the fuck would join the New Breed? That's career tainting enough. I don't think I need to go any further on him.

Stevie Richards

You haven't shown me. And no, I haven't seen.

What grown man wants to be called "Stevie?" That's the name of that kid from Blues Clues, right? I watched that show when I was drunk once, so I could be wrong. Man, I have to tell you how hard I partied that night. Lita and I got so drunk that we were up until six in the morning, and the only channel that came in on the hotel television was some kids crap. I remember a lot of orange…

What has Stevie Richards done lately? I'll tell you. NOTHING. I'm surprised I even remember who this guy is! Ridiculous. He needs to go back to the old ECW for old people.

I hate ECW. I'm done.

A/N: I don't watch ECW very often. Last time I watched it, I saw Kelly Kelly so I turned if off.

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