A/N: I love you guys.

Spiffers, I don't know which order you're reading my updates, but I started that kayfabe story for you.

Shelton Benjamin makes me giggle. No, giggle is an understatement. Shelton Benjamin makes me laugh my ass off until I cry and urinate myself. Don't believe me? Then I'm pretty sure that you don't know who Shelton Benjamin is.

First off, he teamed with Charlie Haas. Why? They were so a rip-off of Christian and myself. Okay, maybe not, but they definitely committed slander on themselves. They called themselves the World's Greatest Tag Team, and that simply isn't true.

Did Shelton Benjamin win a tag team championship with Hulk Hogan? I didn't think so.

And about that hair…WHY SHELTON? WHY? You are not meant to be a blonde! That was the worst thing you could have done to yourself. I honestly think that you've taken a few too many bumps to the head to even consider doing that. You look like a freaking disco ball now. Hell, you look like you're wearing Jericho's pants on your head. You know, like you just took a square of fabric and glued it to your skull.

Shelton does not look like Sisquo. Okay, he does but that would be an insult to the musical artist.

I think that's the reason he got demoted to ECW. His hair made him look like a retard, and Armando Alejandro Estrada decided that Shelton would make an exquisite attraction to his retard circus.

Who wears a dragon on their trunks? Does he think he's some Chinese fire breather? Or is he just telling us subconsciously that he has bad breath? I'll choose to believe the latter, thanks.

The T-Bone Suplex? Jesus, he sounds like he's going to be feeding a dog with that or something. He probably taunts his opponents before he does it. "Here Fido! I'm going to give you the T-Bone now!" Loser. That's why he never wins any matches.

I hate Shelton, but I hate CM Punk more. Yes, I did make that ECW appearance last week, but that's because I fucking rock. I'm boycotting ECW until Shelton wins the ECW Championship so I can Spear the smug out of him during his pathetic "celebration."

Next.

A/N: Short, I know, but I only wanted to do Shelton.

By the way, I am boycotting until Shelton wins. I love Shelton.

Review.