A/N: Yawn. I just did inventory on this story. I have twenty-three people left to bash, but it will definitely be in fewer than twenty-three chapters. I'm thinking about just shoving them into one small group and one large group, and then doing Cena. I don't know yet.

Everyone wishes they could make fun of their bosses. I can.

Don't you wish you were me?

Of course you do. Everyone does.

I'm going to rip on the rest of the McMahon's right now. Don't worry, faithful Edgeheads. I won't get in trouble. They can't risk firing me. If they did, they might have to bring Golden Boy Cena back earlier than expected. They'll have to drag him away from his wife, though.

I'm glad he finally found a woman to put up with his shit. Granted, I still think she's an alien, but thinking about all the heartbroken girls that hate me makes me smile. I'd laugh in their faces if given the chance.

I'll start on the so-called Billion Dollar Princess, Stephanie McMahon.

I swear, the only way a woman would marry Triple H is if she was intoxicated. Good job, H. That was such an Edge move. Too bad she's ugly.

I can't believe she was a wrestler. And she held the WWE Women's Championship. Her daddy probably paid off all of her opponents to let her win. She can't win on her own. After all, she isn't me.

I love how she just ramparts around backstage like she owns the place. Sorry to break it to you sweetie, but your dad owns the place. Don't come up to me like you know me. You don't even think you know me. Yes, rejects, that was a play on my entrance. Assholes. See what you do to me, Steph? You make me take out all my aggressions on the Edge faithful. At least more people like me than like you.

After Vince "died," you deserve an Oscar for that performance. Those were some of the fakest tears ever pulled off. I'll give you credit, though. You only pretended to care because you didn't want everyone to think you blew up his limo so you could get some money. Trust me, I know about faking it. I am "dating" Vickie Guerrero, and I am the master of deception.

You're kind of built like a guy. Are you sure that Beth Phoenix wasn't your dad's illegitimate bastard son? I mean daughter?

Oh, Linda. You evil, evil wench.

Okay, you're really not that evil. I never see you anymore. I think the last time we saw you was…I can't even remember!

Wasn't it when Vince blew up to the holy heavens? Maybe. I do remember that you didn't show up for the family portrait. What a nice wife you are, Linda. Your husband actually tries to do something nice for once, and you totally screw him over, and not in the preferred way.

I'm sorry, but I laughed when Stone Cold Stunned your ass.

Shane…Shane "O' Mac." What a lame nickname you got there, sir. "Rated-R Superstar" totally pwns that shit to hell.

I do give you credit for walking out on your dad after ol' Tripsy pulled out all of those old hags. You do realize that one of them could be your mother, right? You really don't look like Linda that much.

Your dance sucks. I don't dance, like, ever, but I could still break dance circles around you. Hell, I did pull off that Edge-aroonie that one time. I don't want to see the "Shane-aroonie." You might kill someone with your lack of coordination.

Here comes the money? What money? You don't have any money. Your parents might, but you don't.

Do you still think you're cool for jumping off the Titantron? LAME! I've pulled off more crazy stunts in one insane night in a cheap motel room with a stripper than you have in your entire pathetic life. My credentials include spearing Mick Foley through a burning table, spearing Jeff Hardy midair, and pretty much just being freaking hot. I don't care that you pulled off one little thing. That's nothing, just like you are nothing.

When Vince is gone, I'd sure as hell like to see these three try to live.

They might as well just name me the Chairman of the WWE. We would definitely make more money then. Not to mention, we'd pull in a whole new reign of female fans because I am that damn sexy.

A/N: I actually kind of like the McMahon's, especially Steph.

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