A/N: I thought for sure I'd have more McMahon reviews.

Oh well.

These are all of the ECW guys that I didn't do yet.

Since I don't want to talk about ECW any longer, and add the fact that I don't think you deserve to hear me talk for much longer, I'll finish off that weak ass brand…now.

Elijah Burke

This kid is such a Booker T wannabe. Do I need to explain that any further?

I still can't believe that his finisher is called "The Elijah Express." Again, horrible alliteration. Honestly, I think I need to hold a seminar entitled "Edge's Poetry Lessons 101." You fuckers need them. I don't call the spear "The Edge Express." Hell, that's a fantastic name! I bet "The Edge Express" would definitely get more riders than Elijah's poor version. Of course, I only let ladies on my train, while Elijah only accepts male customers. What a disgrace.

"The Elijah Experience?" Um…no. Haven't you learned from the failure of the New Breed to never do something that stupid ever again? I'm definitely going to have to market "The Edge Experience." It shall be a paysite and it will be amazing, full of hockey and Canadian shenanigans.

Matt Striker

You may be Matt Striker, but you certainly aren't my teacher. The only thing you've taught me is how not to dress. Fucking argyle wrestling trunk…Do you model straight from Mr. Rogers' closet?

We all know you stuff your trunks, dude.

Okay, so you dress straight from Mr. Rogers' closet, which we all know you've come out of, by the way, but you clearly model your hair after Donald Trump. Since when did you get a comb over, dude? That's horrible. Of course, I know all about good hair. I mean, look at my hair. It's perfect.

Why would you manage that fatass? Do you like seeing his boobies jiggling around like that? I bet that turns you on, you sick bastard.

Mike Knox

You haven't been on television in like…forever. Why haven't you been released yet? Not like you do anything.

Oh, who dates Kelly Kelly?

Nunzio

Colin Delaney gets more air time than you do. That is a disgrace in itself.

I guess it's cool that he is proud of his heritage, but let's face it. Italy has nothing on good old Canada.

Tommy Dreamer

Okay, this guy is an original, and I can live with that, I suppose.

It would be a lot easier to live with if he didn't suck.

Congrats, Tommy. You are not the Innovator of Violence. You are the Innovator of Suck.

Stop wearing stupid t-shirts. All he wears is like the random pay per view shirts. That's kind of…sad.

Now I never have to talk about ECW ever again, unless it's making fun of some other loser.

Bon voyage, retard circus!

A/N: One more chapter for the rest of RAW.

One more for the rest of SmackDown.

And then…

John Cena.


Review.