Hey everyone!
So, I got a random spark of inspiration to write this chapter here for you all. I know I've been a horrible writer and updater and it was simply a mix of no time, and no inspiration. But this story is so close to where it needs to be for its big ending and I honestly became excited thinking about it.
Also, I want to thank the multiple people who PM'ed me this entire hiatus to continue, and that meant the world to me. So thank you for that too.
Well, without further ado, here is chapter 24 of Metamorphosis.
It was like pure rage had seized control of his muscles. Loki found Rebecca's words echoing through his mind, clouding corners of his conscious and repeating in a continuous fashion. Loki's nose crinkled, his eyes squeezed shut, and a bloody curl of a scream retched through his throat and into the air. He let everything he could let out spew out of his lungs and rip through the air. His agonized scream shredded his innards, and without second thought he spastically threw whatever was around him. He knocked over tables, torn down bookshelves, threw the bed, and broke the very walls. He made the room feel his burning rage and the insolence of Rebecca.
What a pathetic idiot.
Loki could feel his breathing grow ragged as he flung the wardrobe over, crashing into the ground and dust flying up from the now broken wood. He was seething with anger, his teeth bared and his entire body shook with his emotional outburst.
How dare she act like this? How dare she assume that his emotions for her were anything but true? Yes, maybe he originally pursued her for a hope that maybe Celia could be revived. Maybe, he stuck around long enough because she gave him hope that he had a heart. Celia… Celia was so dead. Loki had always dreamt of being with her and yet now he knew it was a fantasy.
It always was a fantasy. She would always be his first love. And ironically, looked like the love of his life. Perhaps Celia's sole purpose was to teach Loki how to love, infect his mind with her loving image, and then give him a reason to chase after Rebecca. Loki let his breathing slowly return to a normal pace, his fists unclenching and his anger dissipating. Why was he so angry?
He should've followed after her, but he couldn't. He couldn't let her stare at him with those hateful eyes. He couldn't see Rebecca's chocolate eyes glare at him, tear-filled, and in pain. Was he upset because he didn't want her to look at him with those beautiful eyes? A rough sigh escaped his mouth as his fingers ran the length of his silky black hair. He glanced around what once was Ceila's room, before finding a familiar spot to him besides the fireplace. Slowly, he settled down onto the carpet and sitting in a manner that was far from proper.
Glossy emerald eyes reflected the rough sparks of the fire before him. His expression was hard, and his mind was in shambles. This room, this place… It all was remnants of Celia. But, when he thought of that face… He saw Rebecca.
And therein lies the problem.
He was trying to live in the past and the future— he had been attempting to recreate a love that was dead, instead of relishing in the love that was new and forming. He had to.. let go of what was, and focus on what is.
Loki's brows furrowed in thought before waving his hands, transporting the alchemy books out of the room. He gazed into the fire for a second more, before he too, disappeared. The fireplace immediately exploded, and room was engulfed in flames.
The night sky was beautiful. It was possible that the view from Angria was unlike anything else in all the cosmos. Sparkling stars illuminated the sky, shimmering as if they were the finest crystals in existence. Different, immaculate hues twists in between the bright lights, illustrating the vast galaxies that expanded across the horizon. Every twinkle in the sky was so unbelievably surreal.
And yet, the light of the stars seemed to expand. Each ray of light grew tenfold and began to swim, as the eyes gazing up at them were clouded in a thick layer of water.
Rebecca stood on the outskirts of the castle, staring up at the sky. She couldn't enjoy them as much, because her tears were making it nearly impossible to focus on anything.
At first, she was intent on leaving. She was going to go home, and be normal. She was going to tell Pepper she was right, and that this entire trip was a mistake and she was going to apologize.
However, Rebecca couldn't exactly run away.
Jumping off a planet in the middle of space wasn't exactly smart, and she didn't know how to get back home to Earth. She felt a little stupid, in all her sadness, to act so childish as to now have her luggage and no where to go. She couldn't go into the town— she was too pale and "fat" for the green-stick figured inhabitants of the planet. She'd stick out like a thumb and be found instantly.
So instead, Rebecca found herself wandering through several lengths of a forest near the palace. She dragged her bags behind her, crunching on leaves, toppling over, and basically being a huge hassle to bring along. The distraction of her bags though were enough to momentarily relive her of her sadness. She grunted lightly, a light glimmer of sweat breaking out along her hairline. For a second, she cursed at herself again for being so stupid. A forest? Really?
Whether Rebecca willed it or not, the forest magically came to an end and opened up to a clearing by the edge of a cliff. Dropping her luggage by the forest's end, Rebecca slowly made her way out to the cliff's edge. Her steps were hesitant, but eventually, she saw over the edge. Down below were lights of a village, full of vibrancy. She could faintly hear music, and she saw little houses and green blobs moving about. It was a new world, a town with life and color— a place she would've never known existed more than a year ago. It seemed as if they were having a festival, as she could faintly see them dancing in a circle in the center of town.
Carefully, Rebecca let her legs hang over the edge, her bum resting in the soft plane of grass beneath her. For a moment, she was peaceful. The gentle breeze caressed her skin, her mind was not throwing a fit, and her body could finally release the tension that had been building up within her.
Her hands steadied her upright behind her, her fingers curling into the dirt that felt like Earth soil. Her chin lifted up to the sky and her gaze washed over the stars once more. Staring at scenery was almost calming, and while it made her seem so small, it made her feel not alone.
Earth is somewhere in all that.
And so many more things too. Different creatures, lives, stories… So many things happened out of her reach and out of her control, and it comforted her. Everyone got their heartbroken? Right? Right?
"The world is so big, and yet all my thoughts are still about you," She pitifully whispered.
Rebecca's nose cringed slightly as she quickly attempted to swallow back the next well of tears brimming in her eyes. If there was so much possibility in the whole of time and space, why was she stuck on a planet in the middle of no where crying? Because, out of the billions and billions of lives, she managed to fall for the one that would never love her for being… her. He'd love a ghost.
And it was sickening.
To give her emotions… to use his seductive smile and his velvety voice to manipulate her into becoming some prize for him. She was no ones object, and she would never be a walking memorial for him. She wasn't going to be his dead Celia. Rebecca wouldn't play dollhouse.
The noise below from the village was irksome. Here, Rebecca was trying to assure herself she was right to walk out on Loki, but that racket below was so obnoxious. The once pretty tune became animalistic, thumping, and continuous. The screeches of the green creatures tore at Rebecca's ears and it made them want to bleed.
Like hell she'd sit here and wait while those things below were dancing jovially while she was so upset. Like hell should they be laughing.
Rebecca shook her head as her tears dried in her eyes. She inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm herself; however, she immediately gritted her teeth as a wave of pain torn through her body. It was sudden, shooting feeling that pounded at her head and then, the rest of her body. A groan escaped her lips as she flinched inwardly. Her hands came up to clasp her head violently as fire seared through her limbs, causing her to tremble in ways she never thought she could. A scream tore through her throat, and her body seized in agony as if her blood turned into blades within her.
She felt like she could tear out her hair follicles, and even felt a bit of blood pool beneath her nails as she gripped herself. Her chocolate eyes squeezed shut as she gasped for air, but the pain was too much to breathe. The form of the girl curled inwards into a fetal position, and then, there was stillness.
The wind rustled the brown locks on her head, whisking them around with the breeze. The music below was still playing, adding a light tune to the dismal scene. Rebecca, did not move. She couldn't. She felt… dead. She felt, still.
Rebecca's hand fell away from her head and onto the ground, before slowly, her fingers began to clutch the grass beneath her. Breath returned to her lungs, and when her eyes flashed open, they were glowing bright blue. They did not fade. Expression did not return to Rebecca's face, and her gaze was cold… dark.
Her vision flickered down to the sing-song village below with nothing but murderous intent.
Loki wandered through the castle, his gaze sweeping through every floor, every room, and around the perimeter. He had his illusions searching as well, and found that no matter where he looked, Rebecca could not be found. Surely, she had no way of getting off Angria, nor did she have any place to go.
It was with great worry that Loki was searching for the girl. He could only imagine the pain to know that she was feeling… to feel second best. He dealt with it daily, and it was a dark, revengeful. It was an emotion he knew too well, and by god, he couldn't knowingly let Rebecca run out on him like this.
And now that the bloody room was burning, he didn't have to look back and wonder. He was going to stop her, and tell her his story. He was going to tell her everything about Ceila, and think about those blue eyes one last time, before letting it go away for good. He would forget, and use the stirring feelings he had for Rebecca to live. It was so simple, and yet, she was pushing him away.
Loki's head perked upwards on his stroll. He stopped moving through the golden halls and found himself very still as he tuned into his senses a little more closely. He noticed something amiss from one of his illusions. Something wasn't right. Something nearby was… off. Loki, within a second, dematerialized the fake images of himself and moved his physical being to where his instincts brought him.
And it wasn't pretty.
He heard screaming, and he saw creatures of Angria laying on the ground with purple blood pooling by their now deceased bodies. Loki's expression was calm, despite his mind screaming, as he saw flames flicker around him. Everything was destroyed that marched in the fire's pathway. He'd seen enough death to not be surprised by this, but it still set him on edge as to why. His steps were careful, and he knew that a village would often never hurt its own people. He saw the beings running with some limbs missing, screaming. Everything was up in flames and engulfing everyone in them.
A town was burning before him, and in the center of those flames, Loki found the source of it all. An expressionless face, burdened with tears running down from the sockets. However, it seemed the tears acted on their own, for when he met a pair of glowing blue eyes, they were full of death and nothing else.
She's ready.
"Rebecca, what have you done?" Loki whispered, his eyebrows raised in concern. Truthfully, he couldn't care less about the dying things around him. They were rather pathetic, and knew as much that their lives were meaningless to him. But to Rebecca, every life had count. She couldn't kill— she didn't have it in her. Her hands weren't meant for killing. Alchemy wasn't meant for killing. And yet here she was, standing in the middle of pain at its core with nothing in her eyes but cold murder.
Her face showed no signs of life, and her body remained still as she saw Loki. She didn't move, or speak. In fact, one of the green-creatures ran towards her, and without breaking her gaze with Loki, she barely lifted a hand and had the ground spike up, piercing the small thing through its chest.
"Rebecca, you simply cannot have a tantrum every time you are upset," Loki grimly joked, the shadows of flames dancing on his face. Nothing about his tone was truly playful.
The woman didn't respond.
Loki felt his jaw tighten. What was going on with her? Was it because of him? Was it because of his relationship with Ceila that Rebecca felt so inclined as to murder a village? No. Again, that feeling of something being off ticked at him. It wasn't the burning village that bothered him, it was Rebecca. Rebecca… wasn't in that head. Or at least, if she was, she wasn't doing this willingly.
"Are you in there, Rebecca?" Loki shouted warily, taking a step closer. He took in the sight of her, and she appeared almost demonic. Her shadow whipped around her in the flames, but she ominously stood still, unwavering.
Loki snickered as he began to near her,"Your silence sets me on edge. But oh, how I do love games though. And this game you are playing is truly magnificent."
Her alchemy was clearly on a destructive path, and he knew that eventually she would fade from fatigue. Maybe, perhaps, he could run her out enough so that she would be easy enough to bring home. Fatigue could be why Rebecca wasn't moving now— she was too tired.
A tug pulled in his chest when he realized that when she snapped out of this, she would be in shambles. Loki licked his lips, inhaling deeply as he drew even closer to Rebecca. He had to stop her for her own sake, not for his.
"Rebecca," Loki warned,"I recommend you calm down. Any quarrel you have with me does not need to reflect in a body count."
Nothing.
Finally, Loki was about a few arms lengths away from the still, glaring figure. He could barely tell she was breathing from how motionless she stood— and yet her eyes followed him. Loki spoke,"Are you aware of what happened here?"
Loki found himself shocked when Rebecca's dry lips said,"Death."
"More than apparent, my love," Loki chortled darkly, shaking his head,"I wish to take you home. Is that alright?"
Worry spread across his face when again, she was unable to give him an answer to his question. Loki frowned as he took another step forward, and he knew he could reach out he and caress her face, but he didn't.
"You do not have to handle whatever burden is resting on your shoulders alone. If you bottle yourself away and turn to reckless violence, you will never regain your sense of self," Loki honestly told her, reaching up and hesitantly placing his hand on her cheek. His thumb ran across her skin before he spoke again,"I'm here."
As his words penetrated her ears, a tear fell. And then another. And then… another. Rebecca was crying, and before he knew it, life returned to her face and her glowing hues returned to a soft brown. Her cheeks reddened as did her nose. Her face crinkled, and the expression of horror immediately won over the dark glare of death. Her eyes widened as streams pooled out, and her gaze swept around the area and saw how much she had actually done. Rebecca's body trembled in fear, and before she knew it, Loki roughly pulled her into him.
His hand cradled her head, rocking her slightly as he protectively held her into him. Sobs tore at the small frame and she could barely hold herself upwards. She practically screamed into his amour as she clutched Loki, as if she finally realized the magnitude of what she has done.
"I'm here," Loki whispered into her hair, gently planting a kiss on her hairline. And then, the two that were once in the center of the flames, were gone.
Rebecca couldn't move. She couldn't find the energy to lift her limbs, and she couldn't find any strength within her to do anything but silently weep into Loki's arms. They were now in the golden healing room, and Rebecca was curled up into Loki's embrace on the couch. Loki used a bit of magic and managed to change Rebecca into her favorite sweats and shirt. It was a frail attempt to make her comfortable. She just sat there for what seemed like hours crying into him as he continuously soothed her. He stroked her hair, kissed her temple, and held her endlessly.
She didn't know why she did it. It was like one minute she was upset about being worthless to Loki and the next, she saw red. Pure and utter red. Nothing could stop the feelings of wrath from seizing control of her limbs, rage in her eyes and anger in her heart. Rebecca felt like she took a back seat as her body violently murdered those that were playing such happy music. She used her ancient magic to transmute the huts into flames. She killed fathers, mothers, and children alike without a second thought. In the moment, it felt so good, like she was drinking the finest wine. It was what she craved, and every kill made her want to kill more.
It was a twisted, sick darkness that Rebecca didn't know lived inside her. And she… killed. The only person she would ever kill for is Pepper, and yet here she was doing it for pleasure. An entire village full of life was now unmoving on the soil, melting away in transmuted flames that burned their memories into dust.
Rebecca couldn't stand it. She couldn't look at herself, and yet, Loki could. Loki gazed into her eyes with worry, and seemed to only understand.
He knew what it was like to be overwhelmed by rage— to kill to make it all go away. He knew this darkness so well, and here he was, holding a being that did the same thing. She just needed to be held, because she knew it could be the last time she was ever held again.
Rebecca couldn't be sure when he life went wrong, but now seemed like a pretty good point. Killing villages, seeing red… She didn't even know who she was. She thought back to when she knew exactly who she was. Fierce, red lips, gleaming eyes that could rip out someone's throat, metaphorically, of course. Rebecca Lawrence had her life in check and now it was in shambles.
Loki sat there, continuously embracing her. He stroked her hair, her back. It could've been hours that she wept into the crook of his neck, and he didn't make a move to part from her. He stayed until the sobbing, which seemed endless, became small whimpers. Loki let his cheek rest on her head, his hands trailing up her arms in a soothing way. He was hesitant, but figured it was best to comfort her.
"Rebecca," Loki's carefully spoke,"How are you feeling?"
It took a long time for Rebecca to respond. Loki almost didn't expect her to when he felt her body tense in his hold. Her lips hardened into a straight line as she turned away from him, as if she couldn't bare to show him her shame,"I don't know."
"You don't?"
"I killed them," she painfully whispered,"all of them."
"You did."
"And I feel horrible for taking away lives of creatures I don't even know about," Rebecca added, shifting to look back at Loki. She frowned deeply,"I don't know what happened to me."
Her nose was red, as were her cheeks. Despair rippled across her face and she sneered,"How could I?"
Loki's finger ran along her cheek, brushing it lightly before fulling cupping it. "You killed them, yes, but nothing good comes out of weeping. I saw your face, Rebecca, in the flames. It was as if your mind had took flight and left your body in all its rage to do as it pleased. You had not realized what you were doing—"
"It doesn't excuse it!" Rebecca interrupted, pain stinging her words.
"No, it doesn't excuse it," Loki agreed, his thumb running circles on her cheekbone,"But once you accept that you have taken lives, you can learn to never do it again, if that is what you wish. We now know that there is a side of you that is wild, and now we have to tame it. It is simply another task, but the more you wallow in your despair, the more it will consume you to act again."
"It's not about me though," Rebecca pleaded, her hand coming up to hold Loki's hand over her face. She removed his touch, but still held his hand in her lap,"I can't—"
"What if I were to tell you they were celebrating something you hated," Loki mused, leaning back into the couch. A lazy grin fell on his face as he added,"Like killing the elderly as an annual offering to Thanos, the god of death."
"What?"
"Would you feel guilty then?" Loki asked curiously, watching Rebecca's expression fall.
"I—"
Loki smirked,"Because that is exactly the festival you interrupted. They were in the processing of killing off the oldest members and gifting their wisdom to death."
Rebecca immediately pulled away from him, her eyes flashing,"You're lying."
"Am I?"
"Don't do this to me right now, Loki," Rebecca spat, throwing his hand down from her hold and instantly removing herself from the couch. Loki laughed, shaking his head,"You rile yourself so easily."
"Rile myself? I just— You know, never mind. I'll deal with this on my own," Rebecca snapped as she began to round the side of the couch. She began to dash out of the room, before a thought overtook her. Rebecca swallowed thickly as a new wave of tears pushed forwards. She spun around, only to ask,"Do you enjoy doing this?"
"Hm?"
"Do you enjoy giving me something, and then out of sheer mockery ripping it away?"
Loki, now, turned around on the couch in a very un-princely manner. He hung his arm over the back of the couch and simply ordered,"Come sit."
"No!"
"Come here, Rebecca," Loki spoke a little more dangerously. There was a hint of warning in his voice as he added,"I will not ask you again."
Rebecca licked her lips, her eyes shooting daggers despite the fact they were overflowing with water. She was sick and tired of crying. It didn't take her long before Loki pulled her into him, his arm winding around her waist with a protective hold.
"Now, what were you saying?"
The woman paused. Her thoughts formulated in her head, attempting to find some logical way of answering his question in an adult manner.
"You give me something, and then destroy it. You give me happiness, but then you take it away. You give me comfort, and then you mock me and pretend its a game. But at the end of the day," Rebecca looked up to him with sadness and whispered,"What does that do?"
Loki let his fingers tuck away stray strands of brown hair flying out around her head. He drank in her pale face, still wet with tears and so endlessly sad. He didn't respond. He didn't know why— it was in his nature. To trick, to play games. He was cold, harsh, vile.
"Battling my nature is sometimes difficult, Rebecca," Loki explained weakly,"I am the face of what I am known for. I am a monst—."
"—Don't," Rebecca snapped, her hand reaching up to clutch his collar. Her pleading expression practically said 'You're not a monster'.
Loki's brows furrowed. Perhaps if she said he was a monster, then she'd be fully accepting that she was too. They both slaughtered, they both felt rage and they both knew what it was like to hit rock bottle. He was a monster and villain and by god he lived up to that role. But now, in this moment, he didn't have any of those titles. He just was Loki. It's been so long since he was just… Loki.
A small smile crept onto Loki's face, as well as the lightest of laughs. Rebecca looked confused to this, but Loki's gaze was full of warmth,"Rebecca Lawrence, you have undone me."
Rebecca's eyes widened, searching his sea of green hues for any sign of deception. There was none. Loki was silent for a moment before he pulled her closer. His fingers still ran through her tangled hair, and he pursed his lips before he continued,"You thought I cared for you simply on the notion that you resembled Celia. Celia was the light in my world and tried to lift me up, but she could never truly understand my life. Initially, I drew every conclusion that you were, in some ways, going to lead me back to my lost love. After a time, I realized that you were far from the person I loved and I hated you for it. You were cold, cruel, violent, and full of rage that was directed towards me in a way I despised. When I met you, I saw flashes of her in my mind and it pained me to no end that someone like you wore her face."
Loki expression grew pained, but his grip on Rebecca was still endless soft and showed no signs of aggression. He looked thoughtful when he spoke.
"I wished you dead. But despite it, in all that anger I held, you grew on me like a cancer. The moments when you were not filled with rage, you were filled with insight, knowledge, and a kind of beauty that had become foreign to me after all this time. The face of Ceila became the face of you with your brown eyes and your laughter. It was hypnotic, and I wanted to protect you. Parts of me retreated to my past, but Ceila is Raoul to me, as you are my Phantom. She was safety in my memory, and you were danger in the present. You were strong, confident, beautiful, and gave me an argument that I wanted to fight because it made your face glow when you spoke of what you love."
Tears shimmered in Rebecca's eyes as Loki crafted his words. Her nostrils flared slightly as she swallowed thickly, attempting to pull back her emotions.
"But most importantly, you understand my darkness, not just simply accept it. If Ceila knew what I had done, she probably would not recognize me. But you, Rebecca, you still see me when no one else can," Loki murmured, his finger running over the wetness spilling from her eyes. He wondered why she was crying again. He smiled a bit at this, leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead in comfort. When he drew away, he told her honestly,"Never doubt the feelings I harbor for you are for the dead. They are for you Rebecca."
Rebecca's jaw locked, her eyelids falling shut. She listened to his words repeat in her mind like a record player, calming her. He was her fire. She could banter with him all day, talk about her magic, and learn to fight. She could seek comfort in him, warmth, passion… love. And here he was saying everything she needed to hear to know that she wasn't alone.
"Goddamn it, Loki," Rebecca whimpered as she laughed weakly,"You and your words."
Loki scoffed,"What?"
Rebecca instantly moved closed to Loki, her arms winding around his neck and her lips finding a soft point right by were his jaw met his neck. A low groan emitted from Loki's lips as she kissed along his neck, her tongue dancing on his skin before she pulled away. Her hands came up to frame his face gently, her gaze sweeping over his expression. Her cheeks flushed as a grin pulled at her lips. Loki watched her in shock and admiration all the same time.
"Thank you, Loki," She gently whispered, before letting her mouth capture his.
Aw yay! I love a happy ending to a chapter. It's probably the last happy ending of a chapter we will have...
Either way, THANK YOU for reading! If you could shoot me a review, or even like a 'yo' via PM, or something to keep me talking about the story, I think we can just get on with the wedding already.
I love you all! Please review, favorite, and followww!
