Chapter 5 - Name
That night, I felt a little sore, so I showered earlier then normal. Because I had been outside all day and more active than usual, I didn't think anything of it until I stepped out of the hot, steamy air of the bathroom and felt the room spinning. He caught me before I hit the floor. His voice was anxious as he called my name and I could feel the tension in his hands as he touched my face.
I whimpered at his cold touch. My whole body ached and my skin unexpectedly hurt to the touch. The room still whirled out of control, though I knew I was not moving.
"You are so hot," He told me as he laid me on the bed.
I didn't feel hot, though, I felt like I was freezing. My teeth chattered and I was shaking uncontrollably. He piled the blankets on and stood looking down on me, his eyes wide and dark with helplessness. Somehow, I realized that he knew absolutely nothing about being sick or taking care of someone who was and I was sicker then I had ever been.
I don't remember much after that. My temperature soared and I began to hallucinate. I saw my mom and was chased by a nightmare creature with glaring red eyes and glistening fangs.
I heard voices, but they boomed too loudly in my oversensitive ears and I was unable to make out what they said. The tone was worried and I wondered why. The bright light of the room hurt my eyes and I tried to tell the voices to turn it off, but my tongue seemed to fill my mouth and I gave up.
I felt hard, cold iron bands hold me down and I fought against them while my arm was pricked and something that burned was forced into my veins. As my thoughts whirled uncomprehendingly through my mind, I worried that I had been bitten. But why would something bite me?
Later, after I had been released from the icy bands and it was quiet and dark again, I felt something cool resting against me and turned instinctively towards it, if only to cool the burn of my skin. It was soothing and as long as I didn't move too much, I was able to sleep a little easier.
I don't know when it was that I finally opened my eyes for real -- some of the hallucinations had been so real. I was stiff and beginning to feel fabulously hungry, but other than that I felt fine. The soft light didn't hurt my eyes and it was quiet in the room, no noise assailed my tender ears.
It surprised me to see a pair of very dark, alert eyes staring into mine not two inches from my face, though and I gasped. He lay still beside me and pulled back a bit, watching me in concern. It would seem he had been my ice pack. I felt a keen loss at the distance and barely stopped myself from reaching for him.
"Are you all right, Sarah?" He asked as he tentatively brushed a strand of sweat stiffened hair off my forehead.
I closed my eyes at the feather light touch and nodded. His smooth hand moved to cup my cheek gently. His scent soothed my tender nerves.
"Are you sure?" he whispered.
I opened my eyes again and smiled, "Yeah, but I'm hungry." My voice was raspy and I sounded like a chain smoker.
I guess my mention of food convinced him I was fine because he relaxed and his eyes softened into crimson velvet, "You scared me."
His thumb ran lightly across my cheek. Was it my imagination or was it as if he could not stop touching me? Not that I wanted him to stop. I was just unsure if this was another of my hallucinations.
I licked my cracked lips and cleared my throat, "I scared myself. How long have I been out?"
"Two days and three nights. I had to pay a call to the doctor from the village."
I felt myself grow pale – well paler, I was sure I had no color, "You didn't kill him, did you? I don't think I could have handled it if someone had had to die because I was stupid enough to get sick." My heart protested the anxiety by giving a feeble little splutter.
His palm rested for a moment on the pulse at my neck, "No, he's safe. Do not worry. I would not hurt him for helping you, Sarah."
I relaxed and closed my eyes again. I really wanted a shower, but my body suddenly felt like lead. I don't think I could have raised my head if I tried. I was so tired, which was stupid given that I had been unconscious for almost three days. I was also extremely content where I was, lying there in the dim with his hand on my skin. It was strangely comforting.
"Sarah," His voice was very soft, but I could still hear the worry in it. His thumb restlessly brushed my neck and jaw.
I swallowed and forced my eyes open. "I'm fine, I promise, just tired." Then I forced my body to a sitting position and turned to him, "I would really like a shower before I pass out again, though. I feel gross."
He looked as though he was going to refuse me, but ultimately he nodded curtly and scooped me up and off the bed in one quick movement. He set me gently on my feet in the bathroom and left me -- holding to the door jamb for dear life so I wouldn't fall, only to return in the blink of an eye with clean clothing.
"I am not sure if I can help you further," He said hesitantly, almost ashamedly.
His eyes flicked beyond me to the open bathroom as if it were some hideous torture chamber. It was then I noticed that his eyes were almost black today. Time had taught me what that meant and I waved him away. To be with me must have been torture and to turn up the heat -- refining my scent, would cause him agony he certainly didn't deserve.
"I'll be fine." I lied convincingly. My legs felt like jell-o and I wasn't at all sure I would be able to take one step on my own, much less get through the process of undressing, bathing and redressing. "You should go get something to eat … drink … whatever. And bring me something back."
"You are sure? You won't fall?"
He was hovering, waiting for my strength to give out.
I scowled fiercely, "Go. Now."
And I pushed him towards the door, well, pressed one hand against his chest in a weak attempt to push. I didn't have the strength for more than that and I didn't dare let go of the door jamb. I really wanted a shower – and I really wanted him to be able to go and feed, so that he could come back. I could handle being alone while I had something to do, like shower, but it chilled me to think of being alone while I had nothing to do, like sleep.
He felt my weakness and my hesitance to let him go and was reluctant to leave. I had to grit my teeth and step far enough into the bathroom on my own two feet to close the door before he would finally leave. After that, I reasoned, it couldn't be all that difficult to get through my shower -- I barely made it.
The hot water felt so good on my sore muscles. I let it pound on me until I was bright pink. I nearly fell over when I dropped the soap and bent to retrieve it; only the thought of his suffering at having to come in and get me, kept my head together enough to fight back the dark.
I managed to wash my hair twice to make sure I removed all the sweat from it. I brushed my teeth and was even able to floss, too – three days of not brushing had made things a little fuzzy. When I stepped out, I almost felt like a new person. A very weak and tired person, but new nonetheless.
I barely made it back to bed before my legs gave out. He must have changed the sheets because they smelled nice and clean, like the sun and the garden. It reminded me of my day of freedom and I smiled at the thought. It had been a good day no matter how it had ended.
I let my thoughts run as I lay there drained and slightly on edge until he came back. It was amazing, the relief I felt when I saw him, like a weight on my heart was lifted. I felt my eyes drifting shut, but I didn't sleep.
"Demetri?" I called in a pathetic whisper.
The silence that followed was so great it filled the room. I opened my eyes and turned my head. He was standing motionless in the middle of the floor watching me. His vibrantly ruby eyes surprised and, unexpectedly, soft and vulnerable.
"What?" I asked in alarm as I struggled to sit up.
"No, Sarah, lay back." He was at my side in a flash pushing me back against the pillows. He pulled the blankets up to my chin and tucked them tenderly around me.
I blinked, fighting the darkness that threatened to overwhelm me, "What did I do?" I mumbled tiredly.
He brushed a hand through my damp hair, "You called me by my name. I haven't heard you say it before. You cannot imagine how it sounded to me."
I looked up at him suddenly realizing he was right, I hadn't ever used his name. I hadn't had reason. I hadn't wanted to. I hadn't wanted to even be here, much less be close enough to him to use his name. Names made things personal.
Somehow, things had become personal.
But I didn't have the energy to explore or explain it right then. It was taking everything I had just to keep my eyes open, "Oh. Please don't leave me, Demetri."
It was a mumbled mess, but he must have understood because he was lying next to me in a moment. His cool, sweet smelling body curled protectively around mine. His hand never stopped brushing my hair and face. I think I even felt his lips on my forehead, but at that point I was too far gone. I sighed in acute relief, nestled closer and allowed myself to drift.
