Part 1


Ryuzaki was worried.

Worried and upset.

And confused.

These were not things he was familiar with. Or more, these weren't feelings he was familiar with. Then again, nothing about his feelings involving Light were familiar or normal for him. Ever since he allowed the boy to be free of his cell, and into his work space, albeit chained to him and under constant surveillance, he had strange feelings toward the intelligent young man.

Fascination. For what was more fascinating than a seemingly perfect person? Someone who excelled in everything they did? Someone he could finally have a conversation with. An intelligent conversation. Someone that aspired for the career he himself was so dedicated. Someone he didn't mind working alongside, whether for the intelligent conversation and sharing of ideas, or actual contribution to the work.

Acceptance. He felt that Light saw past his social disadvantages. Saw past to the intelligence. Even though it was obvious how smart he was, people that see him wouldn't usually spare a second thought past the way he looked and behaved. Yes, Light seemed to accept him, strange habits and all.

Friendship. As he already said, he felt Light to be his first true friend. His only friend really. Someone so like himself, yet so different. Someone intelligent, with a drive and passion for what he was doing. For whatever it was that he wanted to do really. Yes, Light was truly a friend. One he hoped not to lose.

Anger. He was beside himself with aggravation that someone as amazing a person as Light, could be Kira. How could he be a mass murderer? How could his morals be so twisted that he believed killing anyone, including criminals, could be justified? How could he then turn to L and say that they were friends? That they were on the same side? That he wanted Kira to be brought to justice? It made L angry. Angry at Light. And angry at himself. For how could he let someone like that, someone who was so morally unjustified and twisted, have such a say in his emotion?

Longing. Yes. L felt a longing towards Light. Probably nothing he should be thinking about. But alas, he does think about them, those feelings. Thought about them too much actually. He even acted upon them. Sure, it was in the heat of the moment, and maybe it felt good to startle Light that way. But, he should never let his feelings get involved in his work. Never let them influence his decisions. And perhaps he shouldn't have any feelings for Light at all, especially if he was Kira. And L was getting more sure that he was, even if he didn't say or have any real evidence.

And all of these emotions brought him back to the one thing that needed his immediate attention.

Light. What was wrong with Light?

"Light! Light, are you okay?" Ryuzaki asked worriedly. The boy still wouldn't answer him; he just stared at L. There was nothing vacant about his stare either; he stared like there was something growing on the detective's face. Even though there most certainly was not. Like he was trying to see something, maybe something that wasn't there. Whatever was going on with this boy, it was worrying L, and he didn't like to be worried. Moving his hand from Light's shoulder to his chin, Ryuzaki crouched down more to be eye-level with the teen. He used his hold on the boy's chin to see clearly into his face.

He hasn't even blinked or pulled away... Or anything at all. He isn't coughing anymore, but his breathing is still heavy and fast. And why is he just looking at me with that look of chaotic confusion? What's going on in that head of his?

The emotion coursing though Light's eyes was a strange thing to him. The boy always concealed his emotion, putting on whatever façade he deemed acceptable for the situation at hand. But now, he could see many things. He could see confusion, chaos, disbelief, rage, and fear. That slight fear, that almost wasn't even there. That was enough to instill some form of fear and discomfort in himself as well.

Ryuzaki moved his hand up further to cup the boy's face, still staring, trying to find the reason behind his emotional eyes.

What's wrong with you, Light?