Chapter 9 - Heaven
All I remember after that was pain. A pain so intense, I wished he had let me die. I think at one point somewhere near the end, I begged him to end it and he sat stoic as he had through the whole ordeal. Except for his eyes. His eyes never once let me forget that he was there and experiencing the pain with me. They spoke volumes.
I tried to be quiet; reasoning quiet equaled control, but it was impossible. I was in too much agony and it was all-encompassing. Towards the end, though, I stopped screaming. My throat hurt and it wouldn't help anything anyway. That was a relief for both of us, I think.
Then as suddenly as they started, the pains begin to recede. My fingers and toes felt good again. The fire that had been gnawing along my veins was diminishing. I took a deep breath and sat up.
It was like I had never really breathed before. I could taste things on that breath that I never could before. A scent so delicious it made my mouth water hit me. I turned my head to the direction it came from and saw Demetri watching me from where he knelt on the floor at my side.
I saw his face more clearly then I ever had. The ruby of his eyes was truly amazing, so vibrant; his hair was dark as pitch and shiny and soft looking. I saw each individual strand and I laughed, startling myself at the familiar yet unfamiliar sound of my voice, as I reached out to touch him, to let my fingers trail down his face, feeling the texture of his smooth skin.
He watched me warily, as he had in the beginning, seeming to expect me to react in a manner in which he was unaccustomed – as if I ever acted the way he though I would. He cautiously caught my hand to his face.
"Is it over?" His voice nearly broke.
I moved a bit not feeling any pain, "I think so. How long has it been?"
"Two and a half days."
I leaned forward and brushed his lips with mine, "It seems your theory was right on."
He reached up and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss to something we had never before shared. There was no need to be cautious or careful now. I would not break, his venom couldn't poison me, his teeth couldn't easily slice through my marbled skin. I threaded my fingers through his hair, tightening my hold on him, as greedy for him as he was for me. I don't think we broke apart for a long time. There was no need, neither of us needed air.
I pulled away first, my laughter sparking in the quiet room like silver bells, "I need a shower." I could feel my sweat stiffened hair sticking to my head and the salt was uncomfortable on my skin.
"You look beautiful," He said as he scooped me up and crushed me to his chest. Had I still been human, I'm sure it would have killed me; now I reveled in the strength of it. I felt him as I never had before.
He set me on my feet in the doorway to the bathroom, bringing on a rush of déjà vu, and left me alone. I was amazed again as I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I gasped in disbelief and walked slowly towards the smooth glass as if in a trance. I looked like an angel.
Every feature had been refined and perfected. My skin was a pale alabaster; I could see the fine tracery of blue veins underneath it. My wheaten hair was glossy and complemented my skin perfectly – of course. My eyes were the only thing to ruin the heavenly image; they were a brilliant shade of red, not the velvet crimson of Demetri's, but something fresher and more alive. They frightened me and I had to turn from the mirror. It was odd not to feel my heart pound in my chest.
It seemed that everything amazed me. If I concentrated, I could see each individual drop of water as it fell from the shower head. Each soap bubble burst with rainbows, even the wafting, undulating steam took on a life of its own. I enjoyed passing my arm through it just to see the patterns it made.
I remembered as I nearly tore the door off the linen closet, that I was a thousand times stronger then I had been. It made me careful, so everything remained more or less in one piece. Nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed or replaced. I dressed in the clothes that Demetri had set out for me.
"Demetri," I called as I walked out of the bathroom. My voice was going to take some getting used to.
"Hmm," he was staring out the window, lost in thought.
"Do you realize that I am gorgeous?" I couldn't help gushing, just a bit. It's not vanity if it's true, is it? And I had never been beautiful before.
He took one look at my astonished face and laughed, "You were beautiful before."
"No," I said with a toss of my head – the swirl and fall of my hair fascinated me. "I was ordinary."
His eyes softened into the velvet I loved so much, "You were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen."
A breeze tousled his dark curls as it entered the window and blew his scent towards me. I followed it until I stood in front of him. He had always smelled incredible, but my weak human nose had been unable to pick out what it was he smelled like until now.
"Demetri," I asked casually, looking up at him from under my lashes.
His eyes tightened, "Yes?"
I chewed my lower lip, "Would you be a very good boy and not move for a second?"
"Why?" he asked suspiciously.
I wasn't sure if I could do what I had been longing to do for so long. I felt just a little on the edge of losing control. It was strange the power his scent had on me. I had been drawn to it before, but it also had always made me anxious – my human instincts knew what it meant and made me uncomfortable, though I had ignored them. Now, it touched something in me that I had never before felt. Something inside of me sounded and responded.
I couldn't trust my voice. I smiled as I eased the top button of his shirt open. He froze but allowed me to finish and slide the fabric from his shoulders. It hit the ground in a slither of sound.
With my changed eyes, Demetri was indescribably beautiful, but I didn't touch him yet. I closed my eyes instead and leaned close enough that my nose nearly brushed his shoulder and inhaled deeply. I heard his sharp intake of breath and my stomach tightened.
"Sarah," he said in a tightly controlled voice.
I opened my eyes to see him watching me hungrily. He hadn't moved yet and it gave me greater confidence.
"You smell like the rain," I explained as I lifted my hand to trail my fingers slowly down his perfect abs. He jumped under my hand but didn't move away.
"I never knew what that scent meant until now." I said softly as I continued my careful exploration of his sculptured torso. I had seen beauty like this once in a museum and it had very nearly brought me to tears. I had wanted to touch it even then. Now I could.
"What does it mean?" he asked in a beautifully rough voice.
I didn't look up as I explained, "It never rains much at home but when it does the scent comes as a relief. It's the promise of survival and renewal."
I finally looked up. Demetri's eyes were closed as a tremor ran through his body and his breath caught as my hands stilled. He groaned and unerringly his arms wound around my body pulling me toward him. His lips were on mine in an instant and it was nothing neat or controlled.
It was a fierce clashing of lips, and tongue, and teeth, and need. I felt his hands caress the couple of inches of skin at my waist that had been exposed as my shirt lifted when I had thrown my arms around his neck. It only made me wilder and the heat was amazing.
I faintly remember him lifting me and carrying me to the bed, after that it was all sensation. It seemed as if the physicality of what we were faded and nothing was left but the merging of souls. It went far deeper then flesh.
"I have never felt like this." He murmured into my ear a lifetime later. I shivered at the tickle of his breath.
His restless hands stopped abruptly. I opened my eyes and saw that he was very serious and thoughtful. I could guess why. His life had been very long and it seemed that even vampires retained the need for close physical contact. Even now he was impressively stoic. If I hadn't just spent my every waking moment with him for the past seven months, I would have felt very insecure.
"You've been with others," It was not said as an accusation, only a statement of fact.
He nodded and shrugged, "When I was human, it was the way things were." But then his eyes flicked away from mine ever so briefly, as if he were ashamed. "But after the change it was different.
"Vampires are, by nature, solitary creatures. The desire to be solitary wars with the human instincts we still have to be near others of our kind. For centuries I have kept myself somewhat apart even from our kind, but every once in awhile I had the need to be near something … to connect with someone on a physical level that had nothing to do with the taking of her blood."
He frowned as if he had thought he said too much, "It was nothing ever more then that, until I met you." His eyes jumped to my face, "You have no idea how I have longed to touch you in more then just a careful way. You have called to something in me so deeply rooted that I wouldn't have been able to live without you."
I smiled and smoothed the frown lines on his face with my hands. I could always count on him to be direct and honest with me, even to his own consternation. "So, this was not just a need for physical contact? I am not just a way to pass the time?"
His eyes widened and darkened in alarm at my words and the thoughts he couldn't hear, but probably showed on my face. His arms tightened around me.
"Never!" His voice was adamant and he shook his head once, hard and curt, his dark curls bobbing in the most fascinating manner. "I have only just begun to feel, to live. Before you, it was all flavorless. Seven centuries of a colorless existence, slave only to the need for blood. I think … I know I need you more then even that."
I smiled, "Well, I'll hardly let you go without."
He covered my hands with his, "I am in earnest, Sarah. There will never be another. I am mated to you and only you for the rest of my existence."
I couldn't help but believe him. His velvet eyes were stripped of everything but that conviction, but it was more than that, I felt the truth, the rightness, of it deep in my soul. The search was over for us both; I would never need anyone but him, never want anyone but him.
I touched his cheek, watched his eyes close in answer to my touch, felt him relax against me, "I am in earnest too." I whispered.
His eyes opened radiant in their certainty of my response and his arms closed about me in the only promise of the future that I needed.
I rolled onto my elbow and watched him as he dressed. His skin glowed with a soft, warm light. I hadn't noticed that before, maybe it was my new eyes that did it. The soft light made him appear radiant and the incongruous grace with which he moved made it impossible to keep my eyes off him.
"You really shouldn't look at me that way. I find it hard to concentrate," He said unexpectedly without turning.
I was confused, "What way? And do you really have to concentrate to get dressed?"
He finally turned, zipping his slacks as he did so, "I do when you have that look in your eyes."
I frowned, "What look?"
He raised an eyebrow and sat on the edge of the bed, tracing a line down my arm with his finger, "The one that makes me think you are preparing to eat me."
It clicked and I laughed, "Oh, you mean the same one you used to give me when I was human." I sat up and kissed him lingeringly, "And who says I don't want to eat you?"
"And who says I don't give you that look now?" he shot back.
I laughed and touched his chest lightly with my palm, "I thought Italians were supposed to be hairy?"
There was hair on his chest, but just the right amount -- nothing unnecessary. He was completely perfect for me in every way. He also looked at me as if I were crazy or had grown a second head.
"What?" I asked innocently. "It's in all the movies."
He laughed then; a deep, rich, better than melted chocolate kind of laugh, "I guess I lucked out."
I was not expecting the effects that laugh would have on me. I leaned closer and slid my hands around his neck as I pulled him close for a kiss and, more than likely, more, "No, I'm pretty sure; I'm the one to luck out."
I sighed against his lips as his arms came around me, finally, completely content.
