"See? Told you it would be relaxing." Emily said. The two had made their way out to where the waves broke and were floating next to each other.
"I never doubted it would." Paige said sarcastically. "I miss this feeling."
"What feeling?" Emily asked.
"The feeling of being free. It is what water used to do for me. What swimming used to do for me. Until dad got a hold of that." Paige admitted.
"Why did you start swimming?" Emily asked.
"I guess I just liked being in the water. Mom said as a baby, I really liked bath time." Paige laughed at this. "And then when I saw that you could do that in school, be on the swim team, I knew I wanted to do it. Then all the stuff with Alison started. The pool was somewhere I could go that I knew she wouldn't be. Somewhere I could go to forget all the pain and torture."
"She does hate the water." Emily said, remembering the girl hated it when Emily bought the house by the beach. "She hated this place when I bought it. She hardly came around."
"Well she missed out." Paige said, flashing Emily a small smile before dunking herself under the water and swimming towards the shore. Once on the beach the girls made their way over to their towels and layed down.
"You never talk about your mom that much." Emily stated.
"She dealt with me coming out worse than my father. We were close, until the night I admitted it to her. I knew she was stressed with hardly seeing me and dad, with the training and swimming, but a week after I told her she was gone. She left a note that said she needed to go away and really think about things. About her life. We had not idea where she went, but apparently she was at her sisters home in Maine. She came home after a month. But she said that she couldn't accept my decision. And if it was truly the way I was choosing to live my life, than she would have no part in it. And from that day on, I never spoke one word to her, and she never spoke to me. I never went back home. I got an apartment and bought new clothes, left everything at her house. My dad never spoke about it. He just kept the training up while I worked and went to school. I had to keep training with him because he paid for school. I couldn't have kept going without him paying for it. So now I have a degree in sports medicine, a crappy apartment and am still under the thumb of my father." Paige said the last part with a laugh.
"What is stopping you from walking away?" Emily asked.
"I gave him my word. I agreed to train if he payed for school." Paige said.
"But?" Emily asked, sensing there was more.
"He is changing my 'routine'." Paige said, putting air quotes around the last word.
"Paige, the doctors said your panic attack could have been drug related." Emily shared with Paige what the doctors had told her before she was released.
"Yea. I figured that much." Paige admitted.
"So you are using something?" Emily asked.
"I was told they were vitamins. But I could tell they weren't. My times improved too fast. I was gaining muscle easily. But I never questioned him until I started having panic attacks and blacking out. He told me that it was a low dose of steroids." Emily's mouth fell open. She couldn't imagine a father drugging their own daughter. "He said that if I placed for the Olympics, I would stop taking them in time for the drug testing. That just placing would bring him a lot of money. He said that If I told, or if I quit, he would ruin any career that I would get with swimming. That I would never make a name for myself." Paige hung her head low. She couldn't believe how good it felt to get it off her chest, but at the same time she couldn't believe she just blurted it out.
"Paige, you can't go through with this. As you saw first hand, this could kill you. What happens if next time you have a panic attack, or black out and you are alone in a pool?" Emily was beyond furious with Nick McCullers at this point. So mad that she didn't realize her hand had moved up to cup Paige's face.
"You are the first person I have admitted this to." Paige said, feeling the warmth of Emily's hand on her face, making a small smile creep onto her face. Emily moved her thumb over the girls face. She didn't know what it was about Paige, but she felt so comfortable around the girl. She slowly leaned her head in, watching as Paige licked her own lips, knowing what Emily wanted.
"You are a patient." Emily said out loud. Softly, as her lips were inches from Paige's. The two leaned in at the same time, their lips locking in a slow, sweet kiss. Paige felt Emily's hand move from her face to the back of her neck, pulling the girl closer to her. Paige was just about to move her hands to Emily's hips when a voice coming from towards the house broke them apart.
"I really hate people that know you." Paige said, causing both girls to let out a soft chuckle.
"That would be my friend Hannah. I guess the girls showed up sooner than expected. Can we, um, keep this between us?" Emily asked Paige.
"Yes." Paige said, smiling back at Emily. The dark skinned girl couldn't take her eyes off of Paige. They flicked between the girls eyes and her lips. Emily looked back towards to house and quickly leaned back in to kiss Paige again before getting up off her towel.
"I better go help them get settled, and not pick your room as one of their own." Emily said as she picked her towel up.
"I am going to stay out here for a while. You were right, this is actually very relaxing." Paige said, laying down on the towel.
"Don't be too long, ok? I would like you to meet the girls and come out to dinner with us later." Emily said.
"Ok." Paige replied. As Emily turned to leave Paige turned her head and watched her go. There was something about the dark skinned girl that Paige felt was comforting. She felt like she could tell Emily anything. And she she had. She had opened up more tho this girl in two days then she had with her last girlfriend, and they dated for over a year. As she looked out over the ocean, Paige felt that for the first time in a long time, she was finally gaining control over her own life. Maybe it was time to do what she wanted, to remove herself from her fathers dreams and follow her own.
