Okay, my lovelies, sorry for the longer the usual wait time between chapters -- I was away from home. I will warn you this chapter is a bit violent, no blood and gore, but violent none the less.
Please read and review. Let me know what you think.
Chapter 13
The past twelve hours had been exactly as horrible as I thought they would be. I tried to watch TV, read, listen to music, and nothing helped, it only made me even more aware of the fact that Demetri wasn't there.
This is pathetic, I thought as I threw myself into a chair and pulled out my pencils. I couldn't go nuts every time he left. I had to hold it together. He always came back; there was no reason he wouldn't this time and even more reason that he would. I was freaking myself out for nothing.
Almost without conscious thought I began to draw myself. That was odd because I tried never to do self portraits. I didn't like it, but here I sat drawing the newly sharpened planes of my face, the perfection of my nose and cheekbones, the darkness of my eyes -- I would have to hunt again and soon. Being new had its disadvantages. I needed to feed more often especially on account of Demetri's diet.
The thought of Demetri drew my concentration and when I next looked down, I startled myself. I had drawn my face as a mask. Underneath it laid the face of a monster almost as horrible as Aro. I shuddered then forced myself to study the drawing. It terrified me that I might become this thing, this abhorrence, and so I forced my eyes to continue examining it until it had burned into my memory forever. This, I realized, would help me if I was ever tempted to destroy a human. It had to.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the brisk knock on my door and hastily shoved the drawing into the back of my sketch book. That was a drawing that no one would ever see.
Dragging myself to the door, I cautiously pulled it open. A small goblin stood ready to accompany me. Her mask was lovely -- the face of an angel, but her true face was hard and twisted. Her eyes were flat, dead. She liked to hurt people. She lived for it.
"We are waiting for you," She said in an apathetic voice.
I nodded and followed her to the great hall but I froze as soon as she opened the heavy door. A scent so sweet and maddeningly pure washed over me, through me. It was a scent shockingly similar to the one that had come from Demetri, only worse because the source was in the room and not like second-hand smoke – slightly better for you because it had already gone through the system of someone else but still dangerous. So sweetly dangerous.
The fire burned in my throat and the need to satiate it slammed into me so hard I nearly collapsed. For an instant I saw red and all reason scattered. My thoughts began to slip away one by one. I held to my vision of the true monsters and that helped me keep a slender hold on my self-control. I rocked back on my heels, clinging to the door frame and shaking my head to clear it. Uncomfortable as it was, I stopped breathing.
Clenching my jaw, I glowered at the little goblin when she giggled at my obvious distress. Then I turned my unwilling attention to the room. What I saw immediately cooled the burn and I was left gasping now in a horror greater then anything I had ever felt. I was wrong to have thought hell was seeing the faces of monsters; hell was in this room at this moment. The room whirled and for a moment I thought I would faint, even though I had been told it could not happen.
"Sarah?"
The voice was quivering in fear and confusion. It echoed across the great room, abrasive and raucous in its humanness. Yet, it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard, a voice I had never thought to hear again. It put an end to my chaotic downward spiral in much the same way a bucket of ice water dumped over my head would have.
I closed my eyes and averted my head so my brilliant red eyes would not alarm my sister or her husband. They stood looking at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. They were shocked to see me alive.
Instead of answering the question in Jess' voice, I turned to Aro. He stood pleased with himself, his devil's face twisted into a sadistic sneer.
"What do you want from me?" I asked lifelessly.
I knew what he wanted and that he would get it. There had been no need for him to resort to this atrocity, but it excited him, I saw that now. His face brightened eagerly.
"Why, I wanted nothing more then a happy family reunion," He said gleefully as he gestured widely with his hands.
"Sarah, is it you?" Jess asked again, taking a step away from Tom.
I strode without thought, ignoring my sister's gasp of fear and backwards stumble into her husband when I moved almost too quickly for her to see as I pushed desperately through the creatures that moved to surround Aro. He waved them back, eager for what my touch would tell him when I grabbed his outstretched hand.
I held his brittle, deathly cold hand tightly in mine and stared into his eyes as he read my thoughts. I wanted to be sure he saw himself as I saw him in this exact moment and I wanted to see his reaction.
At first his face registered disappointment. My human thoughts were of little import. My relationship and love for Demetri sparked a mild curiosity, nothing worth re-examination. Then his bone white face tensed and paled further. He was too slow to hide his revulsion and I saw it and lifted my lips from my teeth in grim smile of triumph. I didn't allow him to pull away until I was sure his horrific image had seared itself into his skull. I wanted him to see that image every time he closed his eyes for the rest of eternity.
I threw his hand away, "Not worth it, was it?" I hissed under my breath.
I saw the questions burning in the eyes of those that surrounded us, but had little time for them. Aro stumbled back with none of his ghostly grace; he was still not recovered.
"Let them go," I demanded, my tone eliciting a gasp from the waiting legion.
Aro's smile twisted itself unpleasantly. His cloudy eyes were hard now and void as the little goblin's, "Ah, you of all people know that is impossible, Sarah."
His guards converged around him at the low, furious snarl that tore from my throat. The room was deadly silent now. The little goblin stood near Aro beaming in excitement, her flat, shark eyes brightening in anticipation. She was nothing but a well honed instrument to him. I wondered if she could see that. If I should tell her? But I didn't get the chance to make all of Aro's nightmares come true because at the moment mine were. A small, terrified voice called to me.
"Sarah."
At last I turned to Jess, head raised. It didn't matter what she saw now. Her life was over.
"Why did you come, Jess?" I asked in a dead voice as I slowly approached her.
"Mom wouldn't believe that you were dead," her sweet voice faltered as I came close enough for her to see my eyes, my pale skin and altered features. "We came to see if we could find you."
Her voice faded to a thread of sound. Her eyes were nearly bulging in fear as she began to recognize that I was no longer anything like her sister had been. Physically, that woman was dead. I could smell the adrenaline that raced through her system. It sweetened her scent, awakening my predator's instincts and I had to struggle to maintain control.
She was brave to stand her ground. The fierce beating of her heart gave voice to her fears, but there was something more. I cocked my head and listened closer. What I heard left me cold. I closed the gap between us, embracing her as gently as I could. She gasped at the feel of my unnaturally cold skin on hers -- Demetri was right, the warmth was a draw and I clenched my teeth together, refusing to give in to the beast. I was certain Jess could feel my horror at what I had heard beating within her, when I drew back, her eyes echoed it.
"You're pregnant?" I asked woodenly, searching her eyes for a hint of lie, praying I was wrong, knowing I wasn't.
She nodded, too terrified of my appearance to speak. I am sure I looked the vampire I was. I whirled too quickly, causing her to fall back and stifle another gasp. I pinned Aro with the most hateful glare I could muster.
"You knew this," I stated.
He gave me a slight nod and slowly smiled, his white teeth glimmering even in the dim light of the room, "It makes everything so much richer."
He sickened me. His pack converged around him.
Jess had recovered from her scare and was immediately behind me when I turned and focused my attention of her again. There was so little time left for her.
"They told us you were dead." Tears were flowing freely from her eyes and they smelled nearly as wonderful as she did.
"I am dead, Jess. You should have believed them."
"No, you're not," she denied. "You're here. I touched you." She was sobbing now.
Her cries wracked her body and she fell against me. Her nearness was an exquisite agony. She was warm and glowing, radiant with the life that grew within her, a life that would be cut short. Jess' plain face and clear eyes spoke of her innocence and guileless nature. She deserved so much better then this and I despaired at the knowledge that I was the cause for such needless destruction.
Jess would never see her child, never hold it in her arms, she would never know the joy of watching it grow to adulthood. She would never see our parents again or her home country. She would never be held in Tom's arms or make love to him.
I pushed her away and held her at arms length, "Look at me, Jess." She looked up, tears still streaming. "Have you ever met a person with eyes like mine? With skin so cold – cold as death?"
She shook her head slowly. I could tell that she was becoming entranced much like I did when I looked into their eyes. I was like a cobra to her, deadly and beautifully mesmerizing.
I dropped my head closer to hers and looked down, freeing her from the snare of my eyes. "You are not going to leave this place," I said so only she could hear me.
Her heart jumped and the baby's inside her sped up in response to its mother's stress. I brought my eyes back to hers. They were suddenly hard and determined. She nodded understanding instinctively what I had not said.
"You love this baby."
Her hand curled protectively over the small bump that was her stomach. Tears fell unceasingly and it was agony that I could not add mine to hers. I saw the gathered vampires out of the corner of my eye as they continued to drift forward, like a flock of vultures circling a struggling animal. Excitement made their eyes glow all the more bright and horrifying. I prayed Jess had her eyes closed.
"It's okay," She said in a quavering voice, meeting my eyes with a resolute conviction. She was always so strong. She had always been the one to comfort me.
I hugged her close to me again and breathed in her scent -- memorizing it. My soul throbbed with pain. I knew how she would die. It would not be sweet and peaceful in the arms of the man she loved at the end of her life. It would be here, today, in fear and pain unless I did something to change that. With heartbreaking calculation, I made my decision.
Meeting Tom's eyes over Jess's shoulder I saw the thing I had most wanted to avoid -- the monster I had become, reflected in his horror-struck eyes. His face grew green and his eyes widened in sudden knowledge and he moved to stop me, one hand outstretched as if to stop the inevitable, but was too late.
I knew only one way to save my sister from an agonizing death. Death, for those like her – humans, was as certain as the tide coming in or the sun rising but I could not allow her to experience what I knew those in this room – including myself -- were capable of. I would not let her and the baby be ripped apart to feed a savage and profane hunger. She and the life she carried were sacred and not to be defiled.
I gritted my teeth, took a tighter hold on my sister and closed my eyes.
"I love you, Jess." I whispered brokenly.
She stroked my back soothingly, "It's okay. I'm ready. I love you, Sarah."
I will never forget the dull sound her neck made as I snapped it, stopping her heart instantaneously, and I will never forget the sound of Tom's screams. Those sounds will echo in my perfect ears for eternity.
I didn't even have a chance to lay Jess's body down before I was dropped to the floor in a physical agony I had not yet endured. My entire body felt it was being twisted and tortured with glowing metal and yet it was worse. But strangely, it was nothing to the agony I felt in my soul as I thought of what I had just done.
When the pain stopped I lay still on the floor, gasping and waiting for hell to swallow me. It was the only place that would accept me now. Jess lay silent only a foot from me like a fragile, broken doll. Her lifeless eyes, open and glassy and her pale neck lay at an unnatural angle. I could see the tears sparkling on her lashes. Tom's hoarse sobs and breathless accusations burned through me more severely then the goblin's torture had.
Tom stopped only when Aro addressed to him, "You should be thanking Sarah for her sacrificing love of your wife and child."
Tom flinched as he watched the demon glide towards him. His eyes widened and any color that he had had in his face faded, but he couldn't move. I knew what was coming and lurched to my feet.
"I'm sorry," I told Tom in a broken voice. "I can't help you."
Then I turned and fled the room as fast as I could. It would have been the final push over the cliff of insanity I needed if I had been present when blood was spilled.
I don't know how, but I found myself in my room. It was cold and dark, like my soul. I had seen myself reflected in Tom's eyes. I was a monster. Those here, those who were to have been my teachers had corrupted me and twisted me until all that was left was something vile and repulsive. I had never abhorred what I was until now.
As if in a dream, I packed a bag and took half the cash horde Demetri kept. I would never return here. What would he think when he saw me? Would he immediately see the monster or would it take awhile?
I turned to the window, planning; it was dark outside, I would be able to get to the coast before sunrise then the following night I would catch a flight to the States. There were some there, who I prayed would be able to accept me; no one would ever have to know what I had done, though it would be something I would carry forever.
Before I packed my sketch book, I withdrew the picture I had drawn of myself as demon. I wrote a short note on it and placed it where I was sure Demetri would find it. No doubt, he would be told some version of the truth and I hoped he would understand. Closing the door behind me, I left. No one stopped me and I never looked back.
