Boy, all that coffee and doughnuts really helped me. These eighteen-hour jobs could kill a guy. But for me, it's routine. Not easy at all, of course, but routine.

Anyways, later I was in our quarterly-month cabinet meeting. Or, if you want to know in technical language, the Advisor Department Conference. Basically, I met with my Chief Advisors.

Of course, there's Larry, my Senior Chief Advisor and Head of the Cabinet.

And then, several other advisors, each one especially learned in one particular department.

There's a chief advisor for economy, one for security and defense, one for foreign relations, one for health, one for law and immigration, one for agriculture, one for power, energy, and environment, and one for education.

About half of them are dinosaurs. The other half are humans.

I, being the King and head of the government, sit at the end of the table and direct the meeting.

And what do we discuss at such meetings? Well, just what happens in each department, areas of concern, how Amarkia is doing overall as a country. Kind of like a check-up with a doctor.

And we do it department by department.

I started the meeting, as I always do. Standing up and saying, "Attention, please! I would like to call the meeting to order. Thank you." Then I sat down.

Then, I said, "Mr. Chief Advisor, would you please address your fellow advisors?" No answer. I looked at my right, where he usually sits.

Instead of paying attention, you know what the goofball what doing? Well, he had a mug of hot chocolate. You know, the kind that comes with mini-marshmallows? Well, he was picking the marshmallows out of the hot chocolate with his claws, and licking them.

Oh, he was enjoying himself. I could tell. He didn't care or seem to notice that he was embarrassing me in front of several highly important, top-ranking government officials.

I just stared at him. One thing about me: when I stare at someone, I just lock eyeballs with them. Don't show any expression. No smile or frown. Just stare.

At first Larry didn't notice. Just kept on pickin' and lickin'. Then, his chair swiveled towards my direction. He was still licking away when his head came up and he saw me staring at him.

He stopped, blinked his eyes, licked one last time, and cleared his throat. "Sorry," he muttered. He looked down at his mug, looked back at me, then brought the mug close to my face. "Hot cocoa?"

I was mad enough to beat him up real bad. But I didn't. I took the mug from his hand. However, I didn't drink the hot chocolate. No sir. Didn't even swallow it. I simply poured the scalding-hot cocoa all over Larry. Yep. Poured it over him. The full 10 ounces.

Then, when the mug was empty. I just threw it away. Don't even know where it landed.

I just threw it, heard the crash, and a cat meowing.

You know how in TV shows and movies, when someone throws something, you hear a crash and a meow?

Well, same here. Every time anybody throws something like that, the same cat goes "meow!" That's a cat's way of saying, "ow!"

Anyways, because it's the same cat every time, we've given him a name. Captain Fluffy. So, every time anyone in the series throws something and you hear a cat, you can bet its Captain Fluffy.

But you know, Captain Fluffy has been going "meow" since my grandfather's reign. Can't explain how a cat has lived thousands of years and gone through explosions, car crashes, and even safe boxes falling on him from 80 stories.

Oh well. Even I don't know everything about my country. There's always mysteries to be unraveled, things to be explored, discoveries to be made, adventures to be lived.

And that's why I'm going to write this series about my life.

Now, let's get something straight. I don't let a lot of time pass when I decide to write something. For example, when I wrote this first book of the series on my life, only five days had passed since the last chapter.

In simple words, I write as things happen.

Okay, where were we?

Uh…oh, yes. Just poured hot chocolate on Larry. Threw cup away. Captain Fluffy meowed.

Boy, did Larry look mad. But, he deserved it. He doesn't enjoy me punishing him. Neither do I. Actually, I do enjoy it. Hee hee.

"Anyways," I turned to the table of advisors. "Where were we? Oh, yes. I shall address each department. How are we on agriculture?"

The Chief Advisor for Agriculture was Mr. Horbigan. He's a Stegosaurus. "Your Majesty, we are now finishing our activity in the wheat and oats fields My department has commenced the cultivation of winter crops and are one stand by to begin the harvest of autumnal crops. Production is estimated to be above average."

"Very well. How about the Health Department?"

The person in charge of that was Ms. Shang. She's a Yangchuanosaurus. No, I didn't make that up. That of dinosaur exists. You can google it. Or Bing it. Or Yahoo. Or Wikipedia. Or…whatevs!

Anyways, she said, "Our leading scientists have begun research and work in order to produce a vaccine for Ebola. We have no cases in Amarkia, and have gone to the High Congress to request travel bans to all of west Africa."

Well, you get the idea.

The cabinet meeting ended at around 8:25 pm. I was just hoping that the caffeine and sugar would still keep me awake for at least another two hours.

Anyways, I took a small nap. Just to refresh a little, you know? Then, Larry woke me up at around nine. Boy, was I still tired. I could've slept till noon of the next day.

As I walked to the teleconference room, I groaned. "Why do I have to go to that meeting? Amarkia's not even a member of the UN."

Larry said, "You have to go."

"Says who?"

"International law. You have to follow it and respect it."

"Hmph. Well, humans only make two kinds of laws: bad ones and worse ones."

Larry shrugged. "Sorry. You got no choice. You have to set an example for others."

"That's true," I said. "But, still, I see no reason for going. It's always the same subjects: laws allowing abortion, LGBT rights, switching to a full-fledged democracy, opening fossil fuel industries, sharing our discoveries, agreeing to free trade, joining the UN…everything that we are against. These meetings are pointless. They're a bore and a drag."

"Well, too bad," said Larry. "Unfortunately for us, we're living in a time in which humans are the dominating species on this planet. Nuthin' we can do about it."

We finally reached the door to the teleconference room. I stopped just before opening the door. Then, I said to Larry, "You know how I change to human form so that people can connect better to me?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, not this time." I twisted my watch, and changed back to dinosaur form. "This way, I can feel meaner around people I strongly dislike."

I opened the door, walked in, and sat down. I looked at the time. I was eight minutes early. I was staring at a giant, blank screen. Humans are sure over-dramatic over being punctual and being on time.

While I waited, I swung my chair around, just swiveling around until I got so dizzy, I'd thought I'd faint.

Then, at exactly 9:15 pm, the screen went from blank to a room with a long table, and several people sitting down.

Keep in mind that Amarkia is in a different time zone than New York City, where the UN office is. It was 9:15 pm here in Amarkia, while it's 2:15 pm in New York. Just another FYI.

Anyways, the meeting began. The Secretary-General of the UN, Ban Ki-Moon was there. He's sort of the president of the UN. Also present was the Deputy Secretary-General Jan Eliasson; General Assembly President, John Ashle; Economic and Social Council President, Martin Sajdik; and Security Council President, Samantha Power.

They're all basically the leaders of the UN.

Ban Ki-Moon began to speak, with a Korean accent, because…well, he's from South Korea. "I would like to call the meeting to order."

Once everyone sat down, he said, "Let's get down to business. Mr. Sajdik?"

Mr. Sajdik stood up, his hands still over some papers. He's from Sweden, I think. No, he's from Austria. Not Australia. Austria. So he spoke with an Austrian accent, obviously.

"Thank you, sir. My department has noticed many great achievements in the economy of Amarkia. The mixed economy system practiced there along with strong laws on taxes has certainly led to the ever-growing wealth of the country. Thanks to this, there is no unemployment, zero inflation, and almost no corruption."

Oh, I knew what he was doing! First, they say compliment after compliment. Just to butter you up. Then, they say "however," and they give you a long, boring, negative speech.

"However," he said. See? What'd I tell you? Here it came. "Amarkia has a policy of self-sustainment and a highly strict trade system. Because of this, there is no room for foreign business to operate, meaning that neither the corporations nor the citizens benefit. And, the fact that they have not even attempted to benefit from the vast amounts of fossil fuels that are untouched, it causes a colossal gap in the global economy." He sat down.

"Uh huh," I muttered. "So, you're saying that because I don't allow foreign companies, don't practice free trade, and don't use fossil fuels, I'm contributing to the current global economic slump?"

He nodded. "That is correct?"

I nodded back. "Uh huh. You want me to give up a perfect economy, the well-being of my subjects, and ultimate respect for the environment just to help your greedy, selfish human desires?"

Ouch! That really got him enraged. "I said no such thing!"

I shrugged. "Whether you talk in college English or teen slang, it comes out the same."

"Your Majesty, I must remind you that…"

"Look, pal!" I interrupted. "I came here to a conference, not a debate. So just pipe down!"

Well, these meetings are pretty boring and dull. So I won't say all that happened. But they had plenty of time for criticizing.

They said, among other things, that I should join the UN, that I should abdicate and dissolve the monarchy, allow political parties and elections, and someone even suggested handing over power to Egypt or the US. Pretty stupid, huh?

They say what they always say: that it would be for the good of my people. But, actually, they only want me to be like them.

Listen, I don't need the problems of imperfect, sinful human leaders.

Anyways, you see my point. The meeting ended at 10:30 pm. As soon as I got out, I changed into human form again. Boy, was I exhausted! Ruling a country is very challenging. And tiring.

Boy, on the drive home, my eyelids got real heavy. I had to slap myself a dozen times to stay awake.

Well, I finally made it to the palace, and when I opened the door, I took off my shoes, and started walking upstairs.

My room's on the third floor. We've even got elevators, but I was so darned tired I forgot.

Just went to my room, put away my briefcase, locked up my wallet and house/car keys in my drawer/safe box, and changed into clean socks, casual shorts, and a clean undershirt.

Yawn! Boy, was I exhausted.

I'd just gotten all snug under the covers, about to turn off the lights, when someone knocked on the door.

"Uhh," I mumbled. "Who is it?"

"It's Kathy."

I yawned and, in a drowsy voice, I said, "Come in."

She opened the door and came in. She was wearing light pink pajama pants, and a gray tank top. She didn't look like she'd been sleeping.

She came up and sat at the end of my bed…right on my foot! Naturally, my response was to go, "Ahh!"

She quickly stood up. "Oh, I'm sorry Spiny. I thought this was your foot," she said, touching a lump under the covers.

"I have two feet, you know?"

"Sorry, I…"

"Forget it. What'd you want?"

She sat down again, this time beside my foot, not on it. "How was work?"

"Ah, regular. Traffic was light, weather was nice, and UN was stubborn."

"Well, at least it's over, you're home, and you don't have to worry."

"Ha! You're telling me." I rubbed my eyes and said, "How was your day?"

"Well, I did my homework, and I had Patty check it. She said I'll get an A."

"An A? For the first day?"

She nodded, smiling. That was actually a first for her. Kathy's not a bad student, but she's not great, either. She's…typical.

Anyways, I said, "Well, that's good."

"Oh, and Richard called me this evening. We made a date for tomorrow."

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Richard Sorrell. He's Kathy's boyfriend. He's in the 10th grade. Even older than me. She's been dating him since she was twelve.

"What'd you have planned?"

"Oh, I think, just go to a movie. Go eat out somewhere."

"Okay. Did Robert and Greeny behave?"

She nodded. "Oh, yeah. Better than usual. They even played Mario Kart Wii together in the Game Room."

Our Game Room is on the 2nd floor. It's got hundreds of video games, and lots of board games. There a Wii, A Wii U, an Xbox Kinect, a PlayStation 7, and a Nintendo 64.

We've also got Uno, Snakes and Ladders, Checkers, Chinese Checkers, Chess, LIFE, fifteen different kinds of Monopoly, and a deck of cards for playing Solitaire, Four Cards, and others.

Oh, and, when have guests, we use that room to play Charades. Another FYI.

Anyways, I was surprised that Robert and Greeny had gotten along. "How did you keep them from fighting?"

"I said you'd ground them."

"Yeah? But that's what I always tell them."

"Yeah, but, did you ever threaten to never let them swim in the pool again?"

Huh. Never thought of that. "I'll keep that in mind." I looked at my alarm clock. It was 11:50 pm. Wow! It was real late.

"Well, we better get sleep. I gotta go rule a country and you've got school."
"Yep. Guess I'll go doze off," she said, standing up. She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sis."

She left the room, closing the door. I turned out the lights, and laid my head on the pillow, pulled the blanker over my shoulder, closed my eyes, and started sending up a long line of Z's.

Just a metaphor. I don't really snore. I mumble and talk during my sleep, but I don't snore.

One thing about my sleeping. Once the lights are out and I'm in bed, it takes a while for me to actually fall asleep.

But once I do, I'm out like a light bulb. Funny thing though, I always wake up a few minutes before the alarm goes off.

Anyways, I dozed off, resting up for another day.