So! Peach/Ike fluff anyone? Maybe a little Pit/Samus on the side. You want Link/Zelda widdat?

Marth's POV

Great. I totally wanted to die this morning. Not only did we wake Ike up way earlier than we should have, but now he's pissed at us for pulling some retarded prank. And to top it all off, I'm the one who still has his sword. We can hear him from outside the building, stomping and swearing like a madman as he storms toward us. What the hell am I going to do?!

The faintest sense of relief comes to me as I see a smile on Pit's face. Thank Ashera, he had a plan. He was always a quick thinker-… what is he staring at? I follow the angel's gaze until it lands on Peach, who was smoothing out her dress's ruffles. I still have no idea how she ran so fast in that thing, but I suppose if Ike was chasing you….

Then I realize. She was our Get Out of Jail Free card. Pit's grin triangulates from him to me, then Link. We had to do it. There wasn't much time.

Ike's POV

Those fuckers are gonna get it.

I can feel the stairs shake as I stomp down them. Those who cross my path know well enough to stay away. I didn't even care that I was in my boxers anymore; anger was nearly blinding me.

I come to the lobby. Just beyond the glass doors, I can make out the silhouette of something pink, huddled on the ground. It must have been Nana. She couldn't keep up. I'll bet she knew who had Ragnell.

Hot rage fueling me, I burst through the doors, nearly shattering them. I glance down menacingly at my feet, ready to attack.

Unfortunately, the face I saw I could never hurt.

Peach was kneeling down on the cement before me, gloved hands clasped together and bottom lip stuck out, quivering ever so slightly. Her eyes grew massive, tears staining the deep blue that I had fallen in love with. Barely audible whimpers jingled in my ears, so soft and delicate that my anger instantly fell apart. She looked so helpless, so fragile. She was something that needed to be protected, something that would perish if you weren't there to keep it safe. Something I couldn't bear to harm.

The livid feeling in my stomach was gone. Slowly I knelt down and wiped a tear away from her cheek. She smiled. I always loved it when she smiled. I wrapped my arms around her, promising her security. She hugged me as well, her dainty arms like twigs next to mine. I could stay here forever.

The stampede of footsteps I heard brought me back to reality. Looking up, all I caught was a flash of blue, brown, and blonde sprinting into the building, as well as something gold clattering to the floor. I studied it for a split second. It looked familiar, what was-….

THOSE BASTARDS.

I broke the embrace and stood furiously, my anger returning. Just as I was about to pursue, I can feel the previously "delicate" fingers of my princess fiercely gripping my ear. Nana suddenly appeared before me and crossed her arms. Peach hissed into my noggin.

"One minute, Ikey-poo. Who's this 'Elincia' I've heard so little about?"

Shit.

And back we go to Pit!

I don't know why I'm running.

I should be flying.

If Peach hadn't distracted Ike for as long as she did, we would probably be dead. Especially Marth; he still had Ragnell. We had split up when we came to the elevator, mainly because we figured that if Ike was going to follow, better to have him just maul one of us than all three.

Actually, did he even chase us? I seem to remember Peach holding him back…. Maybe I should check.

I picked my feet of the ground and put my weight in my wings, gliding over the silky carpet and swiveling around to see if I was in danger of being Ike-slammed. I saw nothing.

What I probably should have seen was that my path was not clear.

I could hear the bones in my neck crack unappreciatively as I crashed into something from behind. My speed was gone, and my wings allowed me to fall flat on my back onto whatever I had collided with. After some time, I rubbed my neck, hoping nothing was broken. I was getting pretty beat up today. Usually I'm smarter than this….

What I just seemed to notice, though, was how soft the carpet was. It was sort of warm, too. What floor was I on? I should try to move in up here. My eyes glanced around the hall for a room number. The door on my right read:

Room 242: Samus Aran

Man. This was the girl's floor. I should talk to Master Hand about getting my own carpet replaced. Palutena, this feels good. I snuggled myself into a curved position, my wings acting as my blanket. I hummed dreamily. I needed more sleep anyway; surely a quick nap would be alright….

"Enjoying yourself there?"

Well, I WAS.

I scrambled to my feet. Underneath me lied the perfect figure of Samus, concealed only by a midnight black cover-up. I could already feel heat rising to my cheeks.

And I had just used her YOU-KNOW-WHATS for a pillow.

Samus's POV

He's so cute when he's embarrassed.

I couldn't help but laugh as he helped me to my feet and stuttered while he tried to explain himself. Oh, he's getting so confused, I can't take it! I HAVE to mess with him! He's just asking for it!

"Well, I don't blame you." I said calmly. He looked at me like I had three heads.

I leaned in and whispered in the most seductive tone I could imagine.

"I'm great in bed-AHEM, I MEAN- I'm great as a bed."

His cheeks got so red. He turned away, trying to hide his shame, but to no avail. No one eludes Samus Aran.

I really must admit, just those trunks make him look good. Then again, he looks good in everything. I doubt there are any unattractive angels. His back looked strong; built for flight. From it sprouted the gorgeous wings that stole my breath every time I looked at them. His arms were crossed sheepishly in front of him, but even from here I could see the muscles bulging out of them. His eyes go with his hair in just the right way…. I wonder if you take out his head wreath, all his hair flops down? That would be so cute…. Well, now I have to.

Silently as to add the element of surprise, I pinched the laurel crown in my fingers and slid it out of his hair. Sure enough, the messy locks lost their form and drooped down into his eyes, just like Marth's. I could hear him trying to blow it out of his face, and it made me giggle. He turned around, hair held to his forehead with his palm. He feigned irritation.

"Come on, give it back."

I was reluctant. Instead, I observed the intricate headset in my hands. It looked like an olive branch, only it was solid gold. Simply to see his reaction, I shook out my ponytail and nestled the crown in my own hair, allowing my locks to intermingle with the wreath's leaves. When I was finished, I clasped my hands together and made a kiss face. He was rendered speechless.

"Y-you look… GORGEOUS…." Genuine affection laced his voice, causing me to blush.

"Thank you…." I honestly hadn't expected a GOOD reaction. Maybe I'm better at this than I thought.

Even so, he needed the wreath more than I did. However, when I tried to remove it from my head, it tugged on my hair, resilient to letting go. I winced.

Pit laughed. I glared in return. Taking a few steps forward, he reached up into my hair and began to untangle it ever so delicately. Never once was there a jerk, no pain of any kind at all. Just an angel's gentle fingers dancing about my head. When he was done, the crown slid out of my hair without difficulty and into his eager hands. I volunteered to place it back in his hair. He agreed, reluctantly.

As I wedged it around him, he pursed his lips, silently explaining to me just how bad of a job I was doing. I ignored him; I'd get it eventually. Soon, I did, or, at least, to where it was acceptable. He smiled stupidly, and began to pass me by. But just before he could, I reached out and took hold of him by the shoulder. I wasn't quite done with him yet.

He stopped, surprised at my forcefulness. He allowed me to lead him back around in front of me. This was it. Time to get this awkward friendzone phase out of the way.

"Pit…" My words were coming from my very heart; I could feel it. "Would you like to… oh, I don't know…" My confidence spiked as I saw his eyes light up. "Go out on a-…"

"PIT!" Came a very unexpected Hylian's voice. I glanced up and saw Link and Marth; the Hero in trunks, the prince in… boxers? I knew we were having a pool party, but what…?

Link suddenly cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, are we interrupting?" Marth seemed exceedingly worried about something, and was following it diligently with his acute eyes. Whatever it was seemed to be just down the adjacent hall.

I felt like screaming YES, but that wasn't strictly speaking decent, so I settled for a stuttering no, Pit following my lead.

"What's wrong?"

Marth turned to face the angel, eyes impossibly wide.

"Ike's on the move! And he's got Ragnell!"

If Pit was human, he might have passed out. He turned to me, patted my hand, rushed out an apology, and took off down the hall, the other two swordsmen trailing him closely.

Only a few seconds later I was greeted with the sight of a steaming Ike, again only in his boxers, Ragnell lit and clutched tightly in his hand. The fire of his sword was only matched by the fire in his eyes. As soon as he passed me, however, without even stopping, he flashed me a big, cheesy grin.

"Mornin', Samus!"

And off he went.

Peach was right. These people are crazy.

Time for third person POV. The others are making me crazy.

Zelda knew that Charizard was protective of Red, but this was getting ridiculous. Right now the massive lizard had planted himself in front of the trainer's door, simply refusing to let the princess pass. She was trying her hardest to remain calm, but if this thing didn't get out of her way, there would be fire. Lots of it.

For about the TENTH time, she pleaded with the dragon.

"Charizard… please, I just need to speak with Red-"As she reached for the doorknob, the reptile's massive wing sliced down between them, barricading the dorm from the princess. He crossed his arms, flames seething in his jaw. Zelda gritted her teeth. Din's Fire began to swirl around her hands as she clenched her gloved fists.

Just before things got ugly, there was a soft knock from the door behind Charizard. The lizard backed a few feet away, allowing an extremely sleepy-looking Red to hobble out. Silent as ever, he merely gave the sorceress a hard stare and a sigh. Red language for Come on, spit it out.

Zelda scratched her head while she spoke. "Erm… yes. The guys and I are having a pool party. Would you like to join us?"

Red's expression didn't change, but you didn't have to use magic to see the gears in his head turning. Shortly he shrugged and nodded his head. As he disappeared back into the dorm, his dragon of a bodyguard stomped in after him, eyeing Zelda threateningly. She sighed. It always mystified her how Red could carry on a conversation without ever saying a word.

Oh well. Her job here was done. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the blurred image of Link, Pit, and Marth, apparently running for their lives. As they passed her she hurriedly transformed into Sheik; she would never be able to keep up with them normally.

"From whom are we running?" She questioned as she caught up to them, not quite used to the change in her voice.

The three swordsmen were too busy sprinting to be surprised.

"The madman with the sword!" Link cursed, panting.

Sheik looked accusingly to Marth, who shook his head exhaustedly.

"Not me! The other madman with a sword!"

Ike's malevolent shouts echoing behind them were evidence enough of their pursuer.

"Ah. I see."

Panicked silence passed for all of two seconds.

"Have you two agreed to the party?" The Sheikiah asked.

"Of course we agreed-"gasped Pit, "-why else would we be in trunks?"

"That's what this is about?" Marth said dryly. "I thought you two just forgot to put on shirts."

"That may have been funny at a different time-…" Link glanced over his shoulder, instantly regretting it. Ike was gaining. FAST. Not only that, but his own stomach was cramping up. He couldn't run for much longer. Exhaustion was visible on Pit and Marth's faces. They were running out of options, and running out of time.

Pit cracked first.

"Sheik… can you help us with this?!"

The ninja chuckled deeply.

"Of course. Shield your eyes!" In an instant, Sheik had thrown down a smoke bomb and shrouded the hall in a dense fog. Within the darkened cloud, she grabbed each one of the boy's arms and yanked them into another hallway, out of Ike's path. All three breathed a sigh of relief as the infuriated mercenary continued straight, rage making him unwilling to check the other corridor. As soon as the threat had passed, Pit flopped down on the carpet, a bit saddened that he didn't have Samus for a pillow this time around. His wings sprawled out beside him, grateful for rest.

Link and Marth thought that looked like a GREAT idea. They, too, collapsed to the carpet around Pit, each panting heavily. Sheik simply shook her head.

Red materialized from the remaining smoke, frightening everyone except, as one might expect, the ninja. His trunks were, well, red. Blood red. He didn't utter a word, merely stared at the four from the dark recesses of his hat.

"Sheik, honestly. You really should think about training him; he'd make an excellent Sheikiah." Marth groaned. Over the silence, you could hear Red chuckle. It was a dark chuckle, but a chuckle nonetheless. The trainer could be a bit unsettling at times, but he had a good heart underneath.

Sheik stood, swirling into a purple aura as she turned back into Zelda. As her personality reverted as well, she blushed at the fact that the guys around her had very little actual clothes on; Marth was still in his boxers. Not one of them had a shirt. To top it all off, with the exception of Red, they were all curled up on the floor. She was starting to sweat. Her heart began to pound out of her chest. Her breathing became much more rapid and audible. Link eyed her suspiciously.

"You alright, Zel? You look hot." Her mind warped that into a perverse compliment as he stood up and took her hand. His eyes began to melt hers as their gazes met.

However, she lost it when he flipped his hair like a playboy. She always loved it when he did that.

Oh Fayore, she had to get out of there.

With a squeal, she raised her fists to her torso and bolted down the hall, leaving a group of confused teens behind.

"What was that all about?" Pit whispered. Red shrugged.

As you can tell, I like a bad mouth Marth. I like an angry Ike. I like a softer side to Samus. I like a dark Red. I like a badass Sheik. I like a self-conscious, girly Zelda. But I like Peach EXACTLY THE WAY SHE IS: FREAKING ADORABLE.

Yes, the pairings are set. No, there won't be any Red/Zelda, just in case you were wondering. Sowwy.

I like this chapter. Longer, fluffier, and it had a ninja in it. WHO DUDNT LIKE DAT SHIT?!

Don't worry folks, the erotic fluff between Samus and Pit is far from over. I have a few more plans in mind for them. *pets cat and laughs maniacally* EHUAHAHAHAHA

Please review and hey- you guys don't think that when SSBU comes out, we'll forget and stop reading all the old SSBB fics? I'm extremely late to this party.

-Mohawkman2233