I traversed the carpeted corridor that separated the indoor pool from the rest of the hotel. Light streamed in from a skylight and soft and relaxing classical played in the background as I entered. I surveyed the small crowd surrounding the pool: a lifeguard, an old man, a loquacious business executive on the phone, and worst of all, a family with noisy children.
"This just won't do," I muttered to myself, using my ability on every person in the area to forget why they were there. For good measure, I extended my power and erased the existence of the swimming pool from the minds of everyone in the hotel to ensure my uninterrupted solitude.
As the people streamed past me, I doffed my bathrobe, leaving me in sporty swim trunks I obtained from a nearby store. I fumbled with a pair of goggles for a moment before figuring out how to put them on. Diving into the pool would have made for a more dramatic sight, but I settled for the sensible option of climbing in through the ladder. Reaching for one of the edges, I found my torso chilled by even the slightly warmed water of the pool. Pushing off the wall, I settled into a relaxed freestyle stroke back and forth. Walking helps me settle my thoughts, but it doesn't compare with the soothing and metronomic physical activity of swimming.
I will admit my encounter with the Mental Out worked me up the other day. Killing every human on the planet? The thought was extreme even for the most off-kilter among the Level 5's. One finds it difficult to believe in god or religion among the wonders of Academy City, but I felt repentant in a sense for conceiving the notion. I haven't killed as many people as Meltdowner, Dark Matter, or Accelerator have, in all likelihood. I've stayed out of the underworld and avoided abusing my powers for felonious criminal activities.
But wanting to become the most powerful esper in Academy City…is it sinful? Is it wise? Is it worth it? From what I've seen of him, Accelerator never struck me as a happy fellow despite his position. He never smiles; he participates in gleeful mayhem with an utter disregard for human life. From my time working with Academy City, I remembered receiving orders to use Tabula Rasa to burn details on a Project Level 6 Shift and a Project Radio Noise…I'd venture to guess the Board cancelled them, although I wouldn't put mass murder past either the Board or Accelerator.
In any case, it became clear to me that Accelerator's number one position failed to please him. Perhaps he was lonely at the top—there can only be one number one, after all. Not that I could understand how this would be a debilitation—I not only tolerate loneliness, I crave it. Living in a world surrounded by and filled with people disgusts me.
Perhaps Accelerator was not satisfied with merely being the best. Perhaps he used an absolute standard to appraise himself rather than a relative comparison with others. Or, perhaps such boundless greed and pursuit of more is necessary to attain such a high rank. A person satisfied with his Level won't find much motivation to advance higher—a person never satiated, on the other hand, will never exhaust his drive to climb to Level 5 and then continue ascending the ranks. Much like a millionaire striving to become a billionaire. I knew little about Dark Matter aside from his quest to best Accelerator and his similar lack of morality and fulfillment, but he fit into this theory as well.
That led me to Railgun.
If one places an average specimen in a world of anomalies, does the average become the anomalous?
I grew a fixation towards Railgun. Her normality defied all my theories and musings. I hated her because I couldn't find a legitimate reason to hate her. It's a well-known adage that with great power comes great madness.
If that was the case, what was the Railgun's madness? Her capriciousness? Such is typical of average girls of her age, even Level 0's. She clearly had the ambition to achieve Level 5, third-rank at that, and yet seems satisfied by her position. She has friends and a normal social life from what I had seen.
The typical response might be that I'm envious of her. Envious of her rank, envious of her socialization, envious of her life. It's true, I envy her rank. I prize it for myself. We live in a society founded on greed and envy—it's not a sin, but rather a capitalist, competitive virtue. But everything else she has, that which others might count as assets, I count as liabilities. Hell is other people. I don't want friends, I only want…I want. Money, level 5, to be number one. It's always changed over the years. Every time I reached a goal, I found a new one to attain. It never ended. It never will.
Even if I were to defeat Accelerator, I wouldn't be happy. I think I would, but I know otherwise. I would find something new to pursue, and who knows what it would be? Hell if I know if Level 6 actually exists. Maybe I'd try to eliminate humanity, or drive them mad.
Nah. Much like how a farmer needs his livestock, I need other humans. The thought is perverse to me—granted, there's no rule that I have to interact with them, but they provided food, water, buildings. Other commodities, other luxuries. And for me, free of charge, courtesy of my ability.
I got out of the pool, dripping and my hair over my eyes. Grabbing a towel, I headed towards the showers.
I would figure out the Railgun one day.
